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>At bar with family and friends, two cousins both male, best friend and five chicks
>Yup, you guessed it: One is incredibly fat and incredibly annoying, Lardokov Gustav IV
>One girl and I are hitting it off but every time it gets good like clockwork the fat bitch pulls her away
>Tries to hit on my best friend, tries to deep throat a Corona bottle to impress him but ends up almost vomiting
>We're all feeling good and I recommend we go to my place
>Stop by McDonalds because Gustav needed to repel the Reich with nuggets and a double burger
>Three bedrooms, large living room, we all have enough space
>We're watching Boardwalk Empire and talking
>Lights go off halfway through so I decide to slip into my room with chick
>We make out, we fondle, we're fucking naked in no time
>I'm literally prodding her when BAM, SWAT
>Nope, Blubber Russia just kicked in my door
>Grabs this girls hand while I've got her on her back, missionary
>I kid you not says, "Girl, you don't want to do this. This is a mistake, you'll regret it. Come on lets go home."
>Think I'm going to have to go off on Commander Gustav when suddenly:
>Girl says "Gustav, for fucks sake I'm naked and horny. Shed some weight and you'll get laid too"
>The Soviets have lost this battle, a retreat has commenced
>Runs off crying
>Fuck the shit out of her
>Yup, you guessed it: One is incredibly fat and incredibly annoying, Lardokov Gustav IV
>One girl and I are hitting it off but every time it gets good like clockwork the fat bitch pulls her away
>Tries to hit on my best friend, tries to deep throat a Corona bottle to impress him but ends up almost vomiting
>We're all feeling good and I recommend we go to my place
>Stop by McDonalds because Gustav needed to repel the Reich with nuggets and a double burger
>Three bedrooms, large living room, we all have enough space
>We're watching Boardwalk Empire and talking
>Lights go off halfway through so I decide to slip into my room with chick
>We make out, we fondle, we're fucking naked in no time
>I'm literally prodding her when BAM, SWAT
>Nope, Blubber Russia just kicked in my door
>Grabs this girls hand while I've got her on her back, missionary
>I kid you not says, "Girl, you don't want to do this. This is a mistake, you'll regret it. Come on lets go home."
>Think I'm going to have to go off on Commander Gustav when suddenly:
>Girl says "Gustav, for fucks sake I'm naked and horny. Shed some weight and you'll get laid too"
>The Soviets have lost this battle, a retreat has commenced
>Runs off crying
>Fuck the shit out of her