I imagine doing many things. I have the means and time to do many things. I am constantly disappointed in myself. I accomplish very little. I want to escape from reality. I watch tv shows with people engaging in much more interesting lives than I.

There's some key catalyst missing. I have no motivation to do anything, really, beyond surviving. I do enough to keep my decent engineering job, but beyond that, I am fairly apathetic.

What's missing? Is this depression? Is this my personality?

What's funny is if I take a preworkout supplement I suddenly feel "normal" and motivated, or what I imagine normal is like, for maybe a half hour. But I couldn't constantly consume this shit.

Anyone deal with this kind of mentality/mood/personality and fix it?