Anonymous
>>7942955 >mega sugar jug >donating money to cure diabeetuz >mfw Gimmeaname !TFH/p3ZI3U
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>fat guy got shot in robbery >i was just walking by and saw the commotion >"sir where are you hit?" >"my side!" >lol hard at his 200 pounds of "side"
Anonymous
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
FINALLY, FUCK YEAH EMS STORY TIME> Be EMT for local service > Tones go off, E3 at blahblahblah for female that fell, possible lift assist > Show up > Fatass 400lb husband waiting at door > "OMG WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG IF SHE WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK SHE COULDVE DIED" > *groan* > "Where is she?" > Third floor bathroom > Get there > Patient stuck in tub > Pushing 450 > Literally STUCK in tub due to fat rolls > One arm for each of us, pull hard > Roll onto reeves > Use reeves to get to bed > Roll back into bed > Signs refusal > Calling control to mark back in service > "Bathtub extrication completed" > our faces when
Anonymous
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>>7943036 im surprised there hasnt been one earlier
>fat people are the most annoying patients cuz they think that we are there personal moving service >not too mention they get pissed when they dont fit stuff >mfw when i get to tell them they are too fat YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
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ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS CONTRIBUTING> E1 at so-and-so, possible diabetic emergency > hit lights, haul balls > get there, fat landwhale teenage bitch sitting on couch > "My sugar is low" > ".... k" > check BGL, 148 > "Ma'am your sugar is normal." > "No it can't be. I feel awful" > turns out the family was worried about her health so they forced her to start dieting > Landwhale obviously does not approve > "When and what was the last thing you ate?" > "I had some awful chicken and broccoli about a half hour ago. I didnt have any sugar IT HAS TO BE LOW" > ".... Ma'am you're diabetic, right?" > "No but can you fix it?" > turn to parents "How long has she been on the diet?" > "Today is the first day" > Literally facepalm IRL > Sign refusal, gtfo
Anonymous
>>7942955 >be an EMT >get dispatched to a "non responsive" patient >see he's 27 and 600lbs >I could have saved him but he was on the very verge and I was slow, a bit on purpose, clearing the airway and getting him some O2, I let him die as i "fumbled" sometimes I feel kind of bad but not really
Anonymous
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MORE!!! For the love of god KEEP GOING!
Anonymous
Everyone once in awhile something comes along on 4chan that is actually original and fun to read. This is that thread.
Anonymous
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Lol this has now given me to take consideration in taking EMT courses at college.
Anonymous
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I love these threads
Anonymous
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Ill throw in another>so get called out to lady with "chest pains" >get there mildly fat 200lbs lady sittin talkin on the phone >i ask whats wrong >she says in hispainc dumb fuck accent i gots chest pains >what started it? >oh i was walkin around the block >i think oh good job fatty fat gettin healthy >nope i ask oh far >to the end of the drive way >face palm take to er >see her in the er later walkin and talkin on phone >hospital say she cant stand now >fatty being dumb fucking fuck fuck
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943171 Bro don't get me started on bariatric arrests
> E1, unconscious/unresponsive, unknown if breathing > Arrival: bystandard doing CPR on what looks like three bean bag chairs laying together > Get info from wife "He just finished eating and then collapsed > Monitor: PEA with sporatic fib/tach (to non-medicalbros, that means cardiac arrest) > Cut through sweat soaked polo shirt to attach pads > shock > asystole > take over compressions while partner attempts to intubate > after a few seconds hear "blurgrhghghg" and a scream > Turns out, the bystandards doing CPR on the patient had a pocket mask and were doing "ventilations" > aka they pumped this fatass's stomach full of air prior to us getting there > compressions caused air to release > along with contents of stomach > all over my partner's face as he was leaning in to tube > MFW pic related > hear gasps, cries, a few chuckles > instinctively/accidentally shout "WOW, CAN SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A TOWEL" > whoops > death stares from wife > patient dies anyway Fatties chance of survival seems to be drastically low, and the wife was pissed, but what the fuck did she expect when the guy weighed like 350-400. Seriously. How do these people expect NOT to die an embarassing death?
Anonymous
>Playing GTA Vice City >Ambulance Missions for dat extra health >Final Mission, Mission 12. >Been doing this for an hour >Go to pick up final injured person. >Driving too fast. >Injured person jumps in front of ambulance instead of away from it. >Dies. >Have to start all over.
Anonymous
>volunteering as a transport at a hospital >get called up to a room on the 7th floor, take a standard size wheelchair with me >nurse outside the room sees me and goes, "are you here for [patient]? you uhh... you might need a bigger chair. a really big chair." >go back to first floor and get the biggest wheelchair i could find >back up to the room, nurse lets me in >patient is a 600 lb landwhale >5 people have to help her get in the chair >nurse says "she's all yours" as I struggle to wheel her out of the room in spite of being able to squat 315 >the bitch ends up shitting herself while we were waiting for an elevator >isitallworthit.jpg
Anonymous
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>>7943241 Lol holy shit dude
Anonymous
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Wow when i thought fat threads were dying out.
Anonymous
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best thread ever>doing cpr on fattys >easier and proly more effective to jump on chest >intubating fattys >fucking have to be the hulk to see airway easier to just stick it down there and maybe get it >starting IVs on fattys >veins too small and fucking difficult to see/feel >or contemplate IO (drill into the bone) for shits and giggles >Fat people die 80%more than /fit/ people in cardiac arrest or severe traumas
Anonymous
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this thread must live forever
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943210 A non-fatty story for this guy
Before I start, a few notes: Narcan is an anti drug. It cancels the effects of opiates, temporarily, and wakes people that have OD'd on shit up. Flushes are small syringes full of saline that we use to clear lines of anything we put through the IV, so no residual shit is left in the outside part.
> Dispatched on an E1, 19 year old male unresponsive > Upon arrival learn it's drug related > Look at other kids standing around him > "What did he take?" > "Uh, shit man, I dunno, he showed up trippin and kept doin stuff dawg" > Think whatever, narcan it the fuck up > Short trip to ED > Partner pushes narcan *incredibly slow*, forgets to flush it after > Our service uses J loops, majority of narcan sitting in it > Move patient to hospital bed > Find out he's incontinent of bladder/bowel > Nursing student decides to cath him then, for whatever reason > Doc asks for additional narcan, nurse obliges > Pushes it, flushes it twice with saline > Right at the nursing student is cathing > Patient starts coming around with his dick in nurses hand > Watching this unfold (literally) as I'm giving my report > See small smirk on patient's face > Suddenly he fucking jizzes all over the nursing student's hand > Like a shitload, everywhere. In her hair, over the gloves, some on her shirt > Hear sigh of relief from still semi-conscious patient > Me and my partner stop mid-sentence and bolt for the ambulance bay > Run outside, burst into tears of laughter > 20 minutes later still howling, nursing student comes outside > "Didn't you already give him the Narcan?" > Poker face Yeah, true, not the BIGGEST fuckup, but could've gotten him in trouble.
Still the funniest shit I've seen
Anonymous
>>7943171 Damn. The human side of me is sickened by this story, but the fatty-hating side commends you.
So good job.
Anonymous
>>7943171 you best be trollin
fat maybe, but come on he was a guy, a human, i mean wtf man seriously
Anonymous
not emt, but coastguardfag->alarm goes off, "person in water off fishing pier" >fat as fatass facedown in the water >struggle to get him in the back of the small boat >"all right anon, you're the new guy so you get to do cpr" >"aye aye, where's the cpr mask" >"errr... ummm... i guess we didn't bring one" >guy pukes into my mouth and all over me >seafood and tons of beer >i throw up all over the place >other non-rate throws up from all the throwup being thrown up >boat is covered in throwup >get call on cellphone >urgent law enforcement situation, divert >drop guy off with EMT's at local marina >haul ass to LE >boat full of ak-47's being transported >3 mexicans detained, sitting in throwup for the next 2 hours >mfw
Anonymous
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>>7943341 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
fucking awesome i lost my shit that is one of the best stories ive heard from the medical field
Anonymous
>euthanizing landwhales >saving society hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical expenses (per whale)
Anonymous
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>>7943369 hahahahahahahaha
parabol !d2KWnPbD9M
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Must be shitty working in ER.
Anonymous
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I work in a trauma center and I get to see fatties being cut open and bleeding to death every day.
Anonymous
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this is the most interesting thread I've seen on 4chan in a long fucking time
Anonymous
>>7943349 >>7943359 I know guys, but you had to be there, this guy was trying to kill himself, some of his adipose tissue was grafted to his couch (not kidding) he was not going to live long, i mean had I gotten him back with oxygen he would have made it to the hospital and lived (maybe) but would have mostly like had brain damage and I mean.... well in the totality of the situation it was clear he had not been off that sofa for year and someone was (kinda) cleaning him as he shat himself.
yeah, i know he could have come to and lost 450lbs and been a motivational speaker and all that jazz, but it was not going to happen
I didn't kill him, I just didn't hurry with the crazy life saving introduction of chemicals and oxygen
Anonymous
>>7943171 >>7943171 >>7943171 >>7943171 >>7943171 >>7943171 I want to be a Doctor, I am just doing A Levels at the moment.
That story sickened me. I hope you were fucking joking. Who are you to judge? He may have been bed ridden and that's why he was fat. He may have started trying to lose weight. Cunt.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943359 >>7943349 Don't worry, that shit is made up. That person who posted that doesn't even work in EMS.
NONE of us would ever say "I could have saved him" or anything remotely as arrogant as that shit.
That's how you can always tell the wanna-bes from the actual Bros.
Pic related. I'm at work right now.
Anonymous
Anonymous
This thread makes me want to be an EMT. Not so I can "accidentally" let landwhales die, but because it seems like the sort of job that's never boring.
Anonymous
>>7943359 >>7943426 >all this fatty rage delicious fatty tears
Anonymous
>>7943369 same guy
also, this isn't directly related to fatties but shows how complacent and used to fatties society has gotten
>get call from motorist on bridge "person in grey tracksuit facedown in water at [bridge]" >get underway, hauling ass >frantically search area for body >request helicopter from local sheriff >our standby crew gets underway to search >helo calls over radio >"target spotted, stand down- it's just a manatee" >mfw when manatees get confused with people these days Anonymous
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>>7943426 >on couch for over a year >still 600lbs You don't maintain that kind of fattitude by trying to lose weight. Especially when you don't move. Ever.
Anonymous
>>7943369 I once began to take an EMT class and the very fucking first thing they teach you is DO NOT PERFORM CPR ON A PATIENT WITHOUT A MASK. Do they not do that in the coast guard? oh and for some laughs, i was dropped from the class because i failed the drug test and had like 0.02 more thc than was allowable ( not sure what measurement it is in; micrograms, picograms etc.)
Anonymous
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>>7943441 POST OF THE MONTH
Anonymous
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>>7943426 Maybe he should have started sooner. He had his chance at life and he sqwandered it. You think maybe when he realised he couldnt wipe his own arse it would be time to do something about it. He brought it on himself and got taught a lesson FUCKING DEATH BRAH
Anonymous
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>loading landwhale into ambulance (on bariatric gurney) >fat extends way far over the sides of the gurney >one of her many folds gets snagged on the latch of the fire extinguisher >starts bleeding...a lot. >bitch was so fat she didn't even know what happened until she saw the blood. >landwhale starts squealing like landpig
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
I'm so fucking happy to see this thread take off.
Anonymous
Do you always have a partner as an EMT?
Anonymous
>>7943448 The guy must have been trolled or the story is fake. Caregiver safety is absolute #1. You don't want to create more patients.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943486 If on a crew, yes.
Sometimes on QRS or in fire departments they send a single EMT/Medic ahead of time before the ambulance gets there, to size up the situation and get some immediate vitals and patient status etc, but if you're on an ambulance you always have at least 1 partner.
I've heard some states run 3-4 people per truck, which would be awesome.
Anonymous
>>7943480 my buddy told me that all of the drug lords and shit actually don't hate you guys because you keep them alive after the cops rape their buttholes. true/false?
Anonymous
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>>7943480 I dunno, man. Outside of fatties or addicts (who are single-minded self-indulgent children), I think most people respect the job.
To be honest, I have a lot more respect for emt's than fucking shithead retard doctors. You guys have a way more important job and make like $15 an hour. Fuck doctors.
Anonymous
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>>7943441 10/10 I would lol again
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943494 False. Everyone hates us unless we've helped them before, but druggies and shit hate us ESPECIALLY because we kill their high with narcan whenever they overdose.
Plus, idiots like that hate anything in a uniform.
Anonymous
>>7943492 Cool bro. Who gets to drive the ambulance and run the siren?
inb4 5 years old
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>7943480 thats some unfounded hate. You dudes are seriously appreciated. Feels good in the knowledge that if something shit were to ever happen to me some bro's will be on their way to try and save my ass. Fuck the fatties, they are a wasted life anyway.
Anonymous
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>>7943509 maybe it depends on the area, i live in east orlando and that's what he's been telling me when he was interning at the hospitals. But then again, he hasn't even been hired as an EMT yet/
Anonymous
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>>7943428 I'm at work too right now bro. Gettin paid to be on 4chan. 8 hours down, no calls. Fuck yeah.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7943510 It depends. If a BLS Crew (Two EMTs) then we take turns. If an ALS Crew (One EMT one Paramedic) then it depends on the call, but usually the EMT will drive since the medic has more training.
>>7943515 I make 13.50 and have been doing it for 4 years. New EMTs around my area start at about 10 an hour. Shitty pay in my opinion.
0ni !XkVWv6xaUQ
I overdosed a few times before and I have the utmost respect for paramedics
Anonymous
I have a standing rule that every time I'm at a bar and see some EMT's, that drinks are on me.
Anonymous
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>>7943487 the story's not fake or i would've made it way better. the thing is, in the coast guard you have a bunch of junior petty officers with a lot more responsibility than what's available in the other branches so stupid shit happens a lot and a lot of people are constantly getting masted (ie doing backflips off of a smallboat and putting it on youtube). when you're about 3 months out of basic and trying to prove yourself all you're thinking is "save this guy save this guy save this guy save this guy" and, unfortunately, that means putting yourself in unnecessary danger a lot of the time. normally the cpr mask would be checked when doing the morning boat checks but as they say, complacency kills.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
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>>7943537 Because we are A: In a position of authority in emergency situations and B: We look like cops
>>7943541 Anytime, man. And if I've met you in a bar, thanks for the free booze.
Anonymous
>>7943532 >$10/hour Are you shitting me? Fuck, I work a shitty part time computer job at my uni and I make $9/hour. I've had my life saved by EMTbros, and after seeing you in action you deserve more than a dollar an hour more than I make reinstalling windows.
0ni !XkVWv6xaUQ
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>>7943555 That's minimum wage in the UK...
Anonymous
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the only people who hate emts are people who are not sober
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
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>>7943555 Yeah, it's a pretty low pay rate all things considered.
The upside is that we're treated well in-station, and school was relatively short (only 8 months for me)
Paramedics make a few bucks more per hour, and it's a lot more school and clinical time.
I actually start my degree program in the fall, so hopefully before long I'll be a supervisor and actually be able to live in something other than a one bedroom shack.
Anonymous
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>>7943532 I work the front desk at a timeshare and make $16 per hour and do nothing but give like 2 guys an hour an extra towel and browse 4chan and my boss loves me cause I never call him at home the one time a month i actually have a guest problem
Anonymous
>get a call, E-1, nonresponsive >in a project building/trap house (one way in, one way out), very worst part of my city (gary, indiana) >find out patient is on the top (25th) floor >elevators are out because someone vandalized them a week prior >finally make it to the top floor, spot patient lying face down on couch >just as we start trying to revive guy he wakes up and starts laughing >feel cold steel on the back of my head >get told it was a setup and that we're gonna be held hostage for drug money >start getting escorted to the very back apartment of the projects where we're to be held >midway partner turns around and decks guy behind him, i manage to wrestle the gun out of my captor's hands, killing him >gunshot attracts the attention of several floors >we end up having to fight through 25 floors of niggers, dope fiends, hookers, and gangsters >i take three slugs in the thigh, partner one in the shoulder, but we make it out >arrive just in time to save our driver who had been staving off hordes of attackers with the two pistols we keep in the ambulance
Anonymous
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>>7943586 >live in Gary, Indiana >2011 I hope you guys don't do this.
Anonymous
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>>7943341 >Narcan Is it true that makes people throw up from how suddenly it brings them round? I read that somewhere.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
Anonymous
>>7943603 too late faggot i saved that pic from before you pulled your post
sending it to every emt place in the country to bust you atm
Anonymous
parabol !d2KWnPbD9M
>>7943603 we already saw your face...
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>7943586 HELLLL YEEEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!
Anonymous
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I want to see his face. I missed it. Let me see your face.
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>7943283 My friend had a similar story, since he told us we had a new inside joke because the chair he brought to the room was wayyyy too small (average size) and he made up an excuse to get another wheel chair but called it a whale chair inadvertantly. She was raged.
Anonymous
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>>7943586 this is me totes buying that story
nugga
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wtf is going on, am i on the original 4chan now wtf.?
Medic Awesome !!/4CjiPbwZop
OP here >get called for lift assist >get there its two girls on the other unit >not the one who can pull there own > me and my partner end up lifting 300+lbs person ourselves >mfw when my back didnt hurt cuz of lifting
Anonymous
>>7943171 Much as I love fat people stories, that is one of the most evil fucked up things I've ever heard. It's fun to laugh at them, but basically murdering them through neglect is psychopathic. You're fucked up and I hope you get convicted with manslaughter.
>inb4 lololol white knight!!!!11one Anonymous
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>>7943706 >mfw when my back didnt hurt cuz of lifting Ha. This.
In every fatty hate thread I see (despite absolutely agreeing with them) there's always something about fatties being too heavy to lift. Of course, there are some massively overweight fatties as big as a house, but -- for instance, one I saw in the last thread I read -- when a guy complains about an ex girlfriend who got so fat that he couldnt pick her up at all and its likely she weighed just 180-200lbs, I fucking lol
Weak as shit do you even see what you're saying and how you're making yourself look DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
You're a hero OP
Medic Awesome !!/4CjiPbwZop
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>>7943639 oh well fuck it that company is outta business anyway
Anonymous
love this thread, so lulzy.not an EMT but I am a Lifeguard.>see landwhale heading over to diving board >hear massive amount of creaks and cracking the moment he steps onto it > bracing for impact >gets to the edge at which point the diving board is angling at 45 degrees > it snaps and the whale hits the back of his head on the cracked board > takes 10 people to pull him to the shallow end and even more to help him out of the pool with straps and pullies
Anonymous
>>7943727 Yeah, kinda this. There was an accident in town once, and I witnessed the immediate aftermath as I was coming out of a shop. A fat girl had been hit or something, I dont really know as she was on the floor. There wasnt a lot of blood. The ambulance came, and about three men jumped out. They seriously stood just looking at her for way too fucking long and fucked around.
Story in the paper said the girl died on the way to the hospital, and a statement said that the girl was 'Too fat to save' (although in fancier words). Now, fuck that shit. There were three men there, and while the girl was obviously mobidly obese, she wasnt landplanet at all. They could have taken her earlier. Or done SOMETHING besides just take one look at her and talk to each other.
>inb4 im a pussy yeah it got to me.
Anonymous
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>>7943776 who cares
be 500+ lbs, wind up in situation where you will likely die, need extraordinary care in order to breathe due to fat
you gonna die faggot, trust me, we are doing you a favor; you'd be dead in 5 years anyway, you hated yourself and wanted to die
you get your wish
Anonymous
FF/EMT here>it's 2 AM >tones drop for engine to assist the medics >I do nothing, since I'm on the truck >a few minutes later, tones for truck to assist >arrive on scene. it's a landwhale in a second floor apartment >the two medics plus the four man engine crew have gotten fattie off the bed and onto the big-boy reeves >they can't get him anywhere else because the apartment's so small no one can get good leverage to pull >lieutenant decides we should just take him out the window using the aerial ladder >oh wait fattie's too big for the stokes basket >we all tie ropes to the reeves so that some of of us can stand in other rooms of the apartment and pull >slowly, eight of us manage to get fattie to the stairs >we try to slowly drag him down the stairs but he basically just tumbles down he's so fat >at the bottom, with more space, it takes only six of us to get him on the stretcher >later one of the medics tells me the guy hasn't been out of bed for three years >two weeks later >tones drop for engine to assist medics >it's fattie come home from the hospital and needs help getting back inside >ohboyherewego.jpg >basically do the same thing in reverse except we all nearly throw our backs out pushing and pulling him up the stairs >officer tells the wife that the guy has to lose weight because it's a misuse of manpower to have all of us show up to help him get back into the house >"next time the transport ambulance will just leave him on the street"
Anonymous
>>7943826 I would assist her you dumb fuck
and I would not cop a feel either, sexuality has nothing to do with it
Anonymous
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>>7943776 This is not a question of whether you feel good with it or not, but rather a question of profitability.
It was her own choice to get fat (which is basically suicide - both mentally and physically). if she only had any brains she'd have been healthy and watched out to not get hit.
Natural selection at it's best.
Anonymous
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>>7943776 nothing of value was lost.
You people realize these things wouldnt happen anywhere outside the good old US of A right?
This thread sickens me.
Anonymous
>>7943873 forgive the mouthbreathing neckbeards who have never had the chance to touch a woman. Rape fantasies all day erryday, they don't understand how normal people get along
Anonymous
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>>7943755 hahaha, no shit. I'm a lifeguard too, and the same exact thing happened to me. Except we just had these 2 giant Samoan dudes that were there lift him out.
Anonymous
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>>7943437 >>7943437 >>7943437 10% bf faggot. Not fat.
And these stories talking about not saving fat people on purpose just reminds me of /b/.
Oh yeh, it's summer. My bad.
Anonymous
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>>7943426 OK Mr future doctor, what do you think the survival rate for 600lb patients is after a cardiac arrest?
Anonymous
parabol !d2KWnPbD9M
Quoted By:
>>7943873 >>7943886 Immah testing your morality.
Anonymous
>>7943826 >>7943868 here>workin the ambulance (as EMT, not medic) >tones drop for suicide attempt >arrive on scene, medic already there >it's a smoking hot blonde in her late teens wearing a hooters t-shirt and short-shorts >she's taken a lot of painkillers and drunk a lot of vodka, then called her mother to say goodbye >in ambulance it's just me and the medic in back >code 3 to the hospital >medic doing his thing, I'm helping when I can >the girl's pulse is getting slower and slower >medic shouts at driver "is there a convenience store around here?" >wtfamireading.jpg >"no why?" >"I need to piss, anywhere you can just leave me?" >"no" >medic tells me to hand him the bucket we use for vomit >he grabs it and half walks, half crawls to the corner of the bus >whips his dick out and starts pissing into the bucket and all over the ambulance >girl goes asystolic >I have to start chest compressions while the medic is pissing all over the floor >when he's done he comes back, changes his gloves, and helps me >the vomit bucket tips over, piss absolutely everywhere on floor >get to the hospital two minutes later, transfer patient to doctors >as we're driving back in the piss-filled ambulance I realize the girl had no panties on and her shaved twat was showing the whole time b/c her shorts were so small >not a comforting thought as I have to mop up all the piss back at the station Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943979 Funny.
But, hospital administrators were right to lose their shit over this and send out scary memos.
Anonymous
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bumping, amazing thread.
Tysterisk !vR1turEDd6
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>this thread has received 1 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7944035 >>7943868 here againA sadder story from right when I first started EMTing:
>get called to shitty motel for drug overdose >see police and medic vehicles (medics come in separate trucks where I am) in front of first floor room >go in, 350 pound fattie unconscious on bed naked except for socks >room is full of trash and stinks >three empty pill bottles on floor next to the bed >medic gives fattie narcan >fattie's eyes open and he seems to respond to voices but he doesn't say anything >partner and I haul him into sitting position >medic moves stretcher right next to bed >"if we help you up can you get over to that stretcher?" >patient groans >we heave >he sort of half stands up, then crumples to the ground unconscious >the three of us, plus the cop on scene, manage to haul him onto stretcher >medic: "before we go, anyone seen his ID?" >I notice a driver's license sticking out of the patient's sock >look at it >in the picture the man is smiling and thin >it says his weight is 160 pounds >the license was issued only a year ago Ever since I've wondered what happened to that guy in a year that took him from smiling and thin to over twice his weight and ODing on pills in a shitty motel.
Anonymous
>>7944246 >>7944246 Was a program on the telly a while back, featuring a guy who was put on some serious steroids to treat an asthma attack - caused him to put on 9 stone in 12 months. His body was biomechanically fucked
Anonymous
Nurse here. Reading you guys' pay blew my mind. Fresh out of school I started out at $20.05, which, after critical care bonus (medical PCU) and shift differential came out to about $25/hr. Jesus, you guys are underpaid.
Anonymous
>i was wondering how many EMT/Paramedics are on this board and wanna share fatty fat patient stories cuz i myself am a medic
Tysterisk !vR1turEDd6
>>7944297 Emergency personnel, teachers, all kinds of jobs that are overwhelmingly vital to our welfare and future... And they get paid like the retard that just managed to fuck up a cheeseburger at the drive-thru. A CHEESEBURGER.
But a guy that can throw a ball through a hoop semi-accurately gets paid millions.
Anonymous
>>7944297 I work at a fucking supermarket and I get paid $22.10 an hour to scan peoples groceries.
Granted I have been there for 2.5 years and I started on $14.50/hr, but still... I did about 4 hours of on the job training compared to you guys who did what, 8 months of school to get $10.50...fuck man, industrial action that shit UP.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944335 Depends on where you work. If the EMTs and medics work for a paid fire department they're usually in shape. If not, then the medics get faaaaaaat.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944356 >But a guy that can throw a ball through a hoop semi-accurately gets paid millions. >Chauncey Billups >Career .894 Free-throw shooter >Semi-accurately >LOL nope And he's not even one of the greatest of all time.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944356 That's just society. There are three million RN's in the USA, so we will never get paid big bucks. Not that I'm complaining. I'm a former poorfag, so $25/hr for me is great money. But $10 for an EMT is fucking outrageous.
Anonymous
>>7944356 >>7944358 >mfw I'ma be a po-po soon and make over $100k after 5 1/2 years. Anonymous
>>7944455 supermarketfag here, I'm going to graduate with a bachelors degree in EE in 2012, and make $85k+ first year after of graduation.
And that's not including work that I will be paid for during my internship during my final year (i.e. next year).
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943436 >>7944246 >>7944035 >>7943868 hereI used to have flashbacks and nightmares about two calls I went on. The first call was where two firefighters I knew were trapped when a building collapsed on them and Iwas on the crew that pulled them out. They lived but were both crippled. The other call was where a guy I'd been at the academy with was killed in a building collapse. A few days later I was in a supermarket and saw someone who looked like him while I was in the checkout line and I had a flashback and just dropped everything I was carrying to the checkout.
Strangely, I've never had problems with car accident victims. However, the first time I went to a car accident as an EMT:
>arrive on scene late on weekend night >small car hit a truck. front of car all smashed in >medic standing by car calls me over to him >get there, look down in car >can't tell what I'm looking at >it looks like a couple >only the man's head is in the woman's lap and not on his body >turn and jog away to side of road >throw up >hear the medic laughing That medic was an obnoxious fattie. Never had any nightmares or anything about that call though.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
Quoted By:
> MFW I went out on an E3 and came back to this thread still going strong
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7942983 >implying type 2 diabetes is the same as type 1 diabetes dumbasses on this board
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I always love talking to ambos when I get the chance, fuck they have the greatest stories.
Anonymous
What's the 'highest' level of paramedic? In other words, who gets paid the most. How do you become a paramedic in Ontario ( canada )
Anonymous
Quoted By:
and here i thought Bringing out the Dead was a fictional movie.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
Quoted By:
>>7944831 Not too sure about out of US, but here we even have some doctors that run on the trucks once in a blue moon.
Usually, the highest uh, "rank" you can go prehospital is a PHRN, PreHospital Registered Nurse. They can do everything paramedics can, but also transport a few types of drugs that medics cant.
A lot of people lately have just been going to nursing school, challenging the medic test, and running as PHRNs because nursing school is easier than medic class. But I think its bullshit because if you don't go to a medic program, you don't get the field experience you need.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943979 But glow worm is a great nick-name!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
This was a couple of years back when I was doing my rotations with the fire department EMS.>At a thrift store in the ambulance, have already left once for a call and left the stuff they were buying at the register. >Get a new call. >Shots fired, one known victim. >Location comes in, it's in the very shopping center we're at. >Haul ass to the ambulance and start it up, it's backed into a corner and we can see the whole shopping center. >See nothing going on at the store that the caller claims shots were fired at. >Talk to dispatch, find out the call is coming in on a pay phone. >Slowly creep up behind the caller while in the ambulance (using creep loosely, this district's ambulances are loud as fuck) >He hangs up, doesn't see us, runs off into his truck and hauls ass out of there. >It were troll. >Fail troll never thought to look around and realize the EMS being dispatched is literally watching him troll.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Working in theatres of childrens hospital >Ward phones to send up next patient, buisness as usual >"child" arrives, is a huuuuuuge continental landmass of a teenage girl >Doesn't bother to mention this on any of her notes >Refuse to anaesthetise her because of her weight (i.e. she would die) >Surgeon starts bitching >Point out that the theatre trolleys are only rated for 150kg (it's a fucking kids hospital) and tell him to fuck off.
Anonymous
>>7943776 >I'm not a professional in the field with any level of training or authority, but I feel perfectly comfortable and even morally righteous making arbitrary, emotionally-driven statements about what actual professionals are and are not capable of and can be expected to do. Fatasses are a disgusting lot, no doubt, but it's YOU that's the true scum of the earth.
The world would be a much better place if every idiot like you would just shut the fuck up and stay out of its way.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944292 >mfw this is what happened to me >mfw it was also my poor habits, but my habits were consistent with other somewhat anti-social teens who weren't as fucking huge as me >lose weight, still get downright depressed when I think about those years Fuck Asthma. Smoke weed every day out of a vape.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944831 finish your undergrad, go to a college, study paramedicine.
my buddy is half way through his two year program at humber. just started doing rideouts
Anonymous
Quoted By:
This thread makes me want to work out so that if I ever need help the EMTs will actually be able to get me in the ambulance...
Anonymous
Did someone say Medic?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943979 Best shit I've seen in some time.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Cheers to all down and dirty life saving health professionals.
Anonymous
>>7945624 > Be a medic. > Called to help by a fat as fatass guy. > Minor head trauma, start treating him. > Stumble on a damn damn rock. > Scrape knee. > Fat as fatass throws a sandwich at me. Anonymous
Quoted By:
Bump for more stories
Spainiard !pmjlHquN1U
Quoted By:
bamp, being drunk while reading this shit is the funniest i`ve done today, Keep em coming.
Wow @ all the EMT faggots with a god complex in this thread. The world sickens me.
Anonymous
What's the distinction between an EMT and a Paramedic? The name?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
washed-up former medic here...>got a call for a long-distance transport >this fat chick was going to shands for bariatric surgery (stomach stapling) >she needed it >she lived on her bed (full-on oversized hospital bed), and hadn't been outside in years. >last time she had been weighed, she was at 600 lbs...that was 4-5 years prior. >we had local firefighters there to provide lift assist >dig--we had to remove the front door, wheel her bed up to the doorway, back the ambulance up where we took three spineboards strapped together to make a ramp. >me, my partner, and six firefighters pulled her into the back of the truck--we had to remove the gurney and the locking mechanism--she rode from kissimmee to gainesville on the floor. >mucho grande >i had to take her bp by wrapping the largest "big momma" cuff around her wrist, auscultating her radial artery. >good times
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7946544 Technically 'paramedic' is just a level of EMT. When people say just 'EMT' they usually mean an EMT-basic who, as the name implies, has only a basic level of training. EMTs can do CPR and some other non-invasive stuff while medics can do a lot more, most notably giving the patient drugs. EMT school is usually only a matter of weeks while medic school is a matter of years.
Creatine Avenger !/HDrNz3K4o
Anonymous
>>7944246 >Ever since I've wondered what happened to that guy in a year that took him from smiling and thin to over twice his weight and ODing on pills in a shitty motel. Probably Starting Strength.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7946507 all i see is one faggot saging the best thread on fit in weeks.
Anonymous
>>7943586 Trolling is a art.
10/10
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7946951 That earlier post was a troll, but people do some fucked up shit with ambulances. Where I work people will steal anything that's not nailed down if we don't lock the ambulance when we're not in it.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
Quoted By:
>>7946657 God damn, bro
You're better than the CIA lol
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7946951 Normally when people post that sentence they use "an" instead of "a", thank you.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
itt: every fitfag is an EMT.>mfw
Anonymous
>>7946657 Motion to liferuin this security guard of medicine
Anonymous
>>7947390 Seconded.
scruffy.jpg
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943586 >gary, indiana >city, not a post-apocalyptic wasteland pick one
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7947390 ...
And thus ended an awesome thread on /fit/
I'm out. Too many /b/ refugees in it for the lulz.
Medic Awesome !!/4CjiPbwZop
for guy who wanted to know the diff be tween medic and EMTs
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7947406 >implying I wasn't the day /fit/ became a trial board Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7947400 >>7947390 Fuck off back to /b/
Anonymous
Anonymous
>security guard at hospital >walk in to work on time at 12 am >triage nurse goes flying into the waiting room as I walk in the enterance, "come with me. I'm going to need help" >walk in. 300 lbs woman is stroking out: stairing off at nothing, drooling >other nurses come running in with a bed >"help us get her on here" >6 people attempt to lift her dead weight. >flop her upper half on the bed, legs semi-dangling >look up. Her tall, 200-ish lbs husband is filling out paperwork. He's oblivious. >"she's incontinent" >old whale is shitting herself and there's pee on the seat. Hear farts. See her pants bubbling up around the ass >swing her legs up on the bed. >they wheel her in to the ER. I stay behind. >worst part of the job
Anonymous
You know, I've never really known what I've wanted to do with my life, but I figured being an EMT would be cool, so I was considering doing that. But seeing your guys' pay, I'm having second thoughts. $10 an hour? For the shit you guys do? That is fucking ridiculous.
Anonymous
>>7947863 Look into firefighting. Better job, better pay. Also, if you wanted to do emergency medicine as a career you'd become a medic, and they get paid better.
Anonymous
>>7947892 Okay cool. Thanks for the advice dude. Medicine interests me, but I just can't see myself being a full-blown doctor, so that's the main reason I was considering it. And apparently I got confused about the difference between a medic and an EMT, which these guys
>>7947411 >>7946627 >>7946625 cleared up. Thanks again.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7947406 God damnit was really cool having you here bro, I'm entering the public sector of Policing with an open and what I think is a fair mind, but going in with a few minor Mental Health qualifications to deal with the more erratic people, so I just want to say I commend ye.
File > Save As.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Dad is on donor list for lungs >2 years and 5 months later he gets approved >we arrive at hospital >we get asked to sit down by doctor >"sorry but we had to give them to an emergency patient" >find out this "patient" is a landwhale who smoked his entire life and was about to die anyway. >mfw
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Be lifeguard >Land whale frolicking in natural water habitat >Decides that he wants to drown >Who said fat floats better than muscle >Takes 3 out of 4 guards to get him out of the water >So big we had to drag him up the ramp >Not breathing, do fail Lifeguard CPR >EMTs arrive >Gives me the biggest "fuck you all for this" stare >Laugh and walk away because I was 4th guard and not my problem
Anonymous
>>7947701 >filling in the paperwork "Lol, she's shit all over herself again? W/e, I'm gonna scribble some stuff and pretend like nothing. C u guize, hope the bitch dies so I don't have to deal with her fat as fatass ass anymore."
>mfw Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7948120 I find that picture strangely erotic.
Anonymous
Fairfax county firefighter/paramedic here.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7948250 Aw shit, 703 nigga on my /fit/?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7947926 You sound just like me.
If I ever get laid off from my job I think I'd give being an EMT a shot.
Anonymous
>>7943480 Took a blood spatter analysis course, homicide detective teacher despised you, called you guys "Death Fairies" for leaving medical debris all over crime scenes and messing up evidence.
But I know it's just your job, so I don't hate on you when you make satellite spatter all up in my blood pools.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943868 >officer tells the wife that the guy has to lose weight because it's a misuse of manpower to have all of us show up to help him get back into the house This. I hate the fact that fatties who are beyond the realm of "I'm fat because of x legitimate reason" get special treatment in the way of "we need 4x as many people to help out with this" when they could be out there saving other people.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7944694 >implying type 2 diabetes isn't the same as type 2 diabetes >mfw Anonymous
Hey, I've got a question for y'all.. I'm all spaghetti-armed. Can I still be an EMT?
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7949388 No, obviously. Runnerfag here.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7949490 I don't see why not. A bit of strength would help though.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943171 >>7943171 >>7943171 greatest comment I've ever read on the internet
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943171 You are a saint, bro.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if i were you.
>be a medic >dispatched to defend position charlie >get there >revive two of my squad-mates >grenade takes them out >kill enemy, revive them again >building collapses on them >switch to recon
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943171 When I read this comment, I literally applauded you, alone in my bedsit. For each fatty that destroys hope in humanity, I hope there are people out there like you who restore that hope.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I'm just going to bump this.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7946657 go fuck up some more cycles you fucking failure
Anonymous
Anonymous
Not mine but a friend's:>Sea cow comes in for pregnancy >Decide they have to give her a C-section >Looking for her urethra to give her a catheter bag, takes 4 nurses to hold her giant vagina open >Start cutting for c-section, literally takes 12 incisions >Layers and layers of thick, yellow fat in the way >Get to baby >About 3 times larger than it should be since the mother ate like a pig and must've eaten tons of sugars during pregnancy >Baby is born with diabetes
Anonymous
Bouncerfag here,>start shift nigger tries to break into medical cupboard >subdue and arrest >nothing worth taking except maybe syringes in that cupboard anyway >suicidal kid needed to be searched >wouldn't comply >pin him down while nurse drugs him >sus individuals need to be moved away from the emergency area >fight, I'm okay >wifebeater comes in "she fell down some stairs" >help police arrest, get king hit. >the night goes on >junkies, drunks, suicidals galore >constant pinning, restraining, piss, shit and vomit errywhere.
Anonymous
>>7952729 here againOn that night I never once saw a doc get their hands dirty. I'm sure they did in med school and what not but the fact that the nurses, EMTs and the guards that do it full time put up with that for so many years is just fucking... wow!
Ever since that night I have gone out of my way to make sure that EMTs and nurses know my appreciation when I meet them.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7952491 >Baby is born with diabetes I hate on fat people who got themselves fucked up but I have nothing but sympathy for their kids. They have a long way to go just to get to where most kids start health wise and not because of losing the genetic lottery but just on account of their mothers being idiotic.
Anonymous
>>7952771 i worked with the best team of er docs...never afraid to get their hands dirty
>scumbag comes in drunk/overdosed >doc is examining him >dude pulls a knife out of his pocket >doc grabs both arms, slams him on to the gurney >wrenches knife out of his hand >im applying restraints >doc points knife into guy's face >yells "DON'T EVER PULL A KNIFE ON A CUBAN" mfw
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7952903 fucking hell....
I can't understand how seriously scummy you have to be to pull a knife on the doctor who is just fulfilling his duty to help you. I mean that is seriously low.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7952903 same doc...
>kid comes in tripping balls >ate a sheet of acid to hide it from cops >while doc is charting, he takes his pen and waves it in front of kid's face >continues charting like nothing happened >does it again a minute later >does it again >kid looks up at him: "dude, are you fucking with me?" >trollface yes, doc was fucking with him, yes doc had personal exp. with lsd, yes kid was seeing major trails
Anonymous
>join fdny, become emt at 18 >13 years late i only make 13.75/hr
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7952990 fdny? really?
you're making what emts make in shitty florida...
do the benefits make up for the pay?
i dunno, 13 yrs without your medic patch or fire school, you pretty much deserve what you make.
emt has always been an entry-level, stepping stone position--get your ass back in school
Anonymous
im a waiter
Anonymous
>>7953029 there are plenty of ways to pay your bills...
most jobs, you go home wondering if you've made a difference in the world or helped anyone
ems workers don't have that problem.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7948250 >>7948250 mfw you live in my county. How do you guys deal with the traffic? Jesus
Anonymous
Ausfag here. Im a full time uni student that works as a Shift Supervisor at McDonalds. And I make $21 an hour.
Supertrip !!VJLvF4JDk61
Quoted By:
>>7943388 >It costs more to keep 90+ year old fucks alive. Lands whales are doing you a favor by dieing early. No long term health costs.
Anonymous
>>7953099 I'm a 21yo foreign student in Denmark, and I, a third class person here, make 25$ per hour cleaning kindergardens for a living. wtf USA?
Anonymous
>>7953058 i give fitness advice on an online image board.
does that count as making a difference in the world?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7953058 i do hear what you're saying--trivial shit is rewarded more
you screw up an order, you may lose a tip cuz your fatass customer didn't get his grand slam or sweet tea
medic screws up meds, puts his pt into VF and he dies.
plus, what i said about making a difference isn't true in the majority of calls--people tend to keep on trucking with whatever stupid choices put them in the position of needing your help--you'll see them again...
but it's those exceptions--the trauma pt you actually help, or the code that is successful---those cases kill the burnout and keep you going
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7953146 of course it does!
i think you told me to do bodyweight squats for 100 reps,
and i did, and my legs blew up!
thanks man
Anonymous
>>7943341 >Didn't you already give him the Narcan? What does that have to do with what happened?
Quoted By:
>>7950722 FUCK YOU, BUSH WOOKIE SCUM
Anonymous
Quoted By:
oh dont mind us. just passin through the thread, givin u bumps
Anonymous
>>7943868 hereWow I can't believe this thread is still going. Since we've moved on to stories of fighting with unruly patients:
>get dispatched at 10 AM for a trauma >i'm in the back of the ambulance with another EMT who's a girl and only about 5'0 >we arrive on scene to find that the patient is a drunk >medic not there yet >it's a 'trauma' because he tripped on the sidewalk while chasing a dog and supposedly hit his head >guy is violent, doesn't want medical attention >cop says he watched the guy fall over and hit his head, also says there was no dog the patient just thinks there was >the ambulance driver and i manage to force him onto a backboard and strap him down and get him into the ambulance >the medic shows up >the medic is black >patient starts struggling to get off the backboard and shouting "I don't want no fucking nigger touching me" >medic, former marine, gets maaad but calms himself right away >medic says "sir, because you've suffered a trauma we have to cut your clothes off to check you for contusions" >patient screams "goddamn nigger get away from me you ain't touching my clothes I just bought this jacket" and so on >"it's procedure. it's for your own good." >medic grins while he starts cutting the guy's clothes off >patient tries to hit the medic and almost hits the girl EMT in the process, she's scared as fuck >medic tells me to put my arm across the patient's throat and press down if there's any more trouble >meanwhile the medic gets out restraint straps for the patient's wrists and puts them on the patient >guy still screaming about niggers Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7953769 continued>finally, when the guy's clothes are cut off, the medic checks him for trauma, there's none >medic says "since you're drunk i need to give you fluids" >pulls out case with IV needles >gets out his biggest needle >"accidentally" misses the guy's vein a couple times while sticking him >says "I'm sorry sir, it's tricky to do this when the ambulance is moving" >the ambulance hasn't started moving yet >the medic looks up at me and grins >trollface.jpg I'm amazed the medic managed to stay as calm as he did and I'm also really glad he cut that douchebag's clothes off. The guy wasn't a fatty though.
Anonymous
>>7953779 Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
This thread in a nutshell. Fuck all y'all.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>read entire thread >go to bed >see this thread still alive when I wake up >forgot where I left off >mfw
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943171 Nothing of value was lost.
Anonymous
>>7943586 A story like this would have a news report. Link?
Anonymous
>>7953887 >2011 >falling for obvious trolls I seriously hope you guys don't do this.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7953779 why you and your partners assault, pin down, cut the clothes off and stick a needle in a guy that was refusing medical attention?
Anonymous
>>7953918 Trolls trolling trolls
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7953139 Your country has what, 5 million people? We have over 300 million. I admit our country is greatly flawed, but the same system doesn't work for everybody.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7953955 >herp derp look how stupid they think i am. master level "trolling" i'm performing Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7953955 We need to go derper.
Anonymous
>>7953945 >>7953820 First, go read this:
>>7945161 But since you might be genuinely wondering why we took him, the simple answer is that it really is procedure. He was so drunk that he couldn't make his own decisions and a reliable witness ( a cop) said he had suffered head trauma. Right there we have to take him. We had to restrain him firstly becasue all head trauma patients get immobilized to protect their spines and secondly because he was violent and attempting to commit assault and battery of medical personnel. As for the clothes, that too is standard procedure for unkown, potentially full-body trauma (eg. the guy could have smashed his knee while falling). Now, if the guy had been less of a douchebag the medic could have checked over the clothes, or just removed clothes, but the guy was a dick and violent so the medic chose the more extreme course that the trauma algorithm recommends. As for the needle, well that was just being a dick back to the patient.
Anonymous
>>7954107 Pardon me if I don't want the medical professionals in my country to not be dicks to people.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7954145 They wont act like dicks if the person doesn't act like the biggest dick of all.
Turtletron !!5gEy6RCc+sH
Quoted By:
I don't see how you faggots can put up with it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7943036 i have to post this pic
Anonymous
>>7954107 bullshit, if he didn't want medical attention you should have fuck off
Anonymous
>>7954410 I'm no EMT or Medic fag or anything, but I can imagine that there might be some law or statute saying that if someone is under the influence of drugs or super drunk that it would up to the responding medical people to decide what to do.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Why oh why can't it be socially acceptable to leave these people to die?
Anonymous
>>7954428 he could walk, also run and talk
that is not superdrunk
ctzn
Quoted By:
somewhat related>call to assisted living home >patient is complaining of chest pain >nurses administered two doses of nitro >no relief >we arrive, ask her what she ate most recently >bacon this morning >mfw she has indigestion
Anonymous
Quoted By:
This thread. This thread forever. I've only been an EMT for a few months, so I don't have much of anything to share. Dem diabetus stories, posting, and nursing homes. :/
Anonymous
>>7952491 I'm raging over this one.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7954410 Legally drunk people can't make decisions- that includes signing legal documents (like a will), consenting to sex or medical treatment. Also, it doesn't matter how drunk you are, since every person is affected by alcohol differently, if you drank (at all) you don't make the calls about what is best for your treatment.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7954825 One of my "friends" who was a plus size model had to have that done. She was so big she had a personal dietitian throughout her pregnancy that kept screaming at her "holy shit stop with the sugar"
They thought the baby would have diabetes, it showed signs of it, but thank goodness it turned out okay once it was born.
Anonymous
>friend of mine at concert >some guy passes out and stops breathing etc. >friend rushes over and starts cpr >manages to revive guy after ~2 mins >guy then proceeds to punch friend in the face >friend gets knocked out >wakes up and wallet + mobile are gone >he saved some dudes life only to be mugged by him...
Anonymous
>EMT buddy and me go to KFC to eat >wait in line >suddenly nigger landplanet comes in and cuts infront >"We were here first" > Fatty nigger throws a tantrum >Suddenly looks at us and shut up, eyes go wide >collapses >"Should we help him?" > Friend is fit and has the mindset of /fit/ and /b/ > "fuck this nigger" > We leave >in the paper the next day : "Obese african american died due to cardiac arrest in KFC" or something along those lines > Head nurse calls us : "Weren't you two in that area yesterday?" >pokerface
Anonymous
>>7955308 okay wait, let me take a look at your story
a guy who goes in cardiac/breathing arrest gets revived, and feels instantly fit/energized enough to assault his savior?
how about no
Anonymous
>>7955323 how did the nurse know you were there again?
Anonymous
>>7955326 I don't know the exact time line he could of punched him in the face after 5 minutes, my friend wasn't specific on that because its irrelevant
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7955360 >>7955360 I don't know the exact time line he could of punched him in the face after 5 minutes, my friend wasn't specific on that because its im a fucking gullible retard and he was telling me bullshit of the most spectacular proportions knowing I would believe it anyways
FTFY
Anonymous
>>7955360 No, your friend wasn't specific because he's a fucking liar.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7955351 Ambulance must call in where they are every hour.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7955403 Since you know his friend better than him, right.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>be lifeguard >Landwhale and her Fatlets enter water >I tell mum to keep her kids away from the left side of the beach due to rip current >Landwhale starts spouting Herp Derp best swimmer in class 400 metres in 8 minutes Derp >Ignores advice >kid gets taken by rip >i go to get him on board >Landwhale mother Screaming he can make it on his own >Kid clearly doesnt know how to get out of a rip >I help kid back into shore >Landwhale mother complains that i interfered with her kid >ask to speak to Water Safety Officer >Give her details etc while explaining her didnt know how to get out a rip >Calls officer >he tells her to stop wasting council time >MFW >MFW i have no Face
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>First time on fit. >Saw this thread. >Laughed my ass off. >I think i might stay now.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>mfw I read this whole thread
Potter !modeI80/fI
Oh boy I can't wait to share some of these stories. I'm in fire training to become a firefighter right now but we have to take EMT classes and work with them.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7955323 I want this to be true.
YouCallWeHaul !6Ah/xXHN66
>>7953211 >>7953211 Assuming you're still reading through the thread:
Narcan is an anti-drug. We found out that the guy had taken some ecstasy, which causes some pretty severe nerve exxageration, including sexual feelings.
When the Narcan was about halfway through kicking in, he was coming out of it enough to wake up, but not enough to lose all the effects of the drugs he was taking.
Hence, when he woke up in an ecstasy craze and felt a nurses hand on his junk, he instantly orgasm-ed.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7957906 narcan is an opioid antagonist
NARCotic ANtagonist...get it?
so holmes was mixing ecstasy and a narcotic?
i reread, and you did say you didnt know what he was on, so maybe it did happen that way--reversing the narcotic effects while the stimulant/psychedelic effects of the MDMA were still kicking.
cool story
Anonymous
This needs to be archived.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
EMT-B in a town with no fatties
Anonymous
>>7957816 hey bro how easy is it to become a fire fighter?
I want to become one just cause it sounds like an easy /fit job.
Anonymous
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>>7958243 not very easy.
another EMT here.
the training and certification isnt too hard, but the problem is you gotta know someone in the fire dept already or be willing to move to bumfuck nowhere. think about it, theres like what. 2-3 firestations per town or so? like 10-20 firefighters or something at each station.
youre fighting for a space that only hires 30-60 people per town.
its like fighting for a really hot chick at a club full of equally hot dudes. you wont get it in unless you know the hot chick's best friend who sets you up or some shit
Anonymous
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>>7958243 not the same guy, but the physical part isnt too bad if youre /fit/
my first training burn was intense--going into a burning bldg encumbered by full gear--can't see shit--have to feel around for the dummy (180 lbs plus the same amount of gear im wearing), find him, then drag him out.
good times
Anonymous
>>7958212 chanarchive (dot) org
Everyone halp
Anonymous
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>>7958243 if you have a volunteer station nearby, i would recommend starting there before you invest too much time and money, etc
you'll meet some real characters, get your hands dirty, and see if you want to pursue it any further.
Anonymous
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>>7958365 it's already archived you dipshit
Anonymous
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I love this thread
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>7943532 I make pizza and get 10.50.
Getting a raise soon.
lolololollolololol
Anonymous
>>7958243 It's pretty hard to get a job as a firefighter but it's easy as fuck to become a volunteer. I started out by volunteering in a suburb of a big city, got myself a good reputation with the officers, and they helped me get paid fire and ems work. For big city departments they only hold the test every so many year and they can take years to get back to you after you take the test. The best course is definitely to volunteer first if you can. That also lets you see if you like firefighting enough to do it as a job. Not to mention, volunteer firefighting is great on its own since you get to know people and do something fun. Be warned though: vollie firefighters are often fat. Not landwhale fat, but surprisingly out of shape. In my old department a fat guy only got kicked out when he got so big he took up two seats in the truck...
Anonymous
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1st day on /fit/
Anonymous
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I'm in firefighter school right now and for the summer I'm taking my EMT-B class, and our first day of class was spent moving around all the different cots and stretchers and I swear some people in my class couldn't even raise a stretcher with a 55lb. mannequin on it.>mfw
Anonymous
>>7959480 agreed re: the fat thing...
basically, the vols are either young bucks looking to advance or lifers who can't go any further for whatever reason.
lifers blow up, are often smart as a bag of hammers, but will occasionally blow your mind with some wisdom, or at least some major bullshit
in school you're taught that scene safety is king: "dont do something dumb and become victim #2"
>greener than green noob vounteer am i >first on scene in rescue truck to mvc >car vs. telephone pole >i think my brand new uniform is like a superman suit. go running up to save day >get close to car, hair is now standing up on end >tingly feeling in legs >fatass lifer volunteer jerks me back, like three feet off the ground >points to downed power line >deadpans: "stay away from those" mfw i almost got my dumb ass electrocuted
driver was drt anyway
Anonymous
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>>7954463 Have you never been/seen someone who is black out drunk?
when angry and blackedout I've seen a guy fight his fucking way out of a bar.
wrecked 3 guys who were seriously trying to hurt him and kept off all the others who were trying to keep him calm, he then ran out of the bar and into a park.
They found him in the morning passed out in the park.
Anonymous
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budump this is awesome
Anonymous
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buuump I'm trying to think of other stories of fatties to tell
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7959875 Hah hah, what part of, "scene safety, BSI" didn't you understand? At least you lived to learn your lesson to grow into a respectable firefighter...?
Anonymous
>Called to Tx pt from one hospital to another >Can hear woman screaming from foyer >Obese woman fell asleep breastfeeding her newborn baby >Baby suffocated to death >No treatment >Tx woman to hospital screaming and crying all the way...
Anonymous
Anonymous
To those of you who took the EMT classes: How long are the classes and do they really drug test?
Anonymous
>>7962844 I didn't get drug tested for my EMT-IV class, but I would recommend stopping in case your school is different. You will have to undergo a physical and fill out a form about any trouble you've gotten into with the law.
Anonymous
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>>7962936 thanks for the response. I'm not worry about the physical or the past crimes part for that matter, i just want to make sure that if there is a p[possibility of being tested i take a break from my sweet sweet vape.
Anonymous
>>7962936 >>7962844 Wow my EMT class did not involve any of that--no drug test, no physical, no criminal record check or background check or anything. At least I don't remember anything like that. It was just an ordinary community college class and at the end we took the state test.
Anonymous
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>>7943632 Can you repost it?
Anonymous
>>7963113 ok hold on. What the fuck does being an ambulance riding person have to do with firefighters? I think im confusing emt with ems...
I want to become a paramedic in Ontario. What do i do?
Anonymous
>>7962125 yeah man, i know...
when i was volunteering i had only taken cpr--no training other than that and a basic orientation.
it did take me a few other experiences to really learn the importance of scene safety, thankfully i survived.
the problem is that most people go into ems wanting to help people--youthful exuberance and naivete will get you killed, though.
now im an instructor, and not a day goes by that my students don't hear about scene safety, ppe, and proper lifting techniques/body mechanics--im known as a real hardass on these concepts, and i have the bonehead stories i love to share: "DON'T make the mistakes i made--learn from them!"
hopefully my humiliating errors will stick in their heads so they actually will remember them
Anonymous
>>7963113 So you didn't take the Ntl. Registry test? Here in Tennessee you have to be approved by a doctor that you are in a fit state to preform as an EMT so there aren't any legal issues when you do clincials.
And if you have any felonies you cannot take the class, I believe. Not too sure on any of the hang-ups with that issue since I don't have any offenses.
>>7963191 I'm unsure how it is up in the Great White North (I'll ask my retired EMT/Firefighting father that just moved up there eventually) but in the U.S. most firefighters are encouraged to get their EMT or Medic license as the firedepartment is almost always the first to respond on scene. Hell, the local department will pay to send you to medic school here. I plan to take advantage of that if I get hired on.
Anonymous
all joking aside, have you ever been mugged or assaulted while on the job?
Anonymous
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>>7963341 Hah hah, you sound like my old professor; he'd share all sorts of fun cautionary tales (one very similar to yours and the downed lines) and I know his lessons stick with me - along with some of his goofy sayings.
I guess saying Baaaaad juju is preferred over, "holy shit, where's the rest of him?"
Anonymous
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>Respond to Code 2 transport >Pt going from hospital back to apartment after syncopal episode. >Find out pt is 600+ lb. landwhale. >So fat she goes into periods of apnea if anywhere near supine. >Lives on third floor apartment building, elevator is one of those tiny ones, maybe two people can stand in at most, no way gurney would fit. >Get the backstory, find out it took the municipal FD 4 hours to get her down the stairs, with several guys. >Already planning to tell the discharge nurse to fuck off, no way me and my EMT partner are going to attempt this bullshit. >Slyly tell the RN that I would only feel comfortable transporting if I know the pt could stand for the time it takes to go up the elevator. >Me, my partner, two RNs, and the LVN assist pt to standing. >She promptly passes out under her own weight. >Tell them no way. >Andnotasinglefuckwasgiven.jpg
Anonymous
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>>7963372 In my state NREMT is not required for the state, and my department didn't really encourage us to take it because they EMS officers didn't think it had any purpose for us.
>>7963191 Many US fire departments have ambulances which are staffed by firefighters who are also EMTs/medics or by people who join the department just to do EMS. In a lot of departments the attitude is "it can't be bad to have more training" so they encourage everyone to get medical training. In paid departments you often get a nice addition to your salary if you are a medic as well as a firefighter.
As for Canada, I think the equivalent of a US 'EMT' is called an EMR. They do paramedic training by province. According to google, you should check out
ontarioparamedic.ca Anonymous
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>>7963434 One of the women I rode with back on clinicals had both of her arms scarred quite severely where a homeless man had slashed at her arms at least ten times. She's a BIG gal tho, so she handled him quite well; she was at least 6'2" and made me look like a dwarf at 5'5"
Makes me wish things were like the old days where you could get away with having a gun with you on call.
Anonymous
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>>7963434 It's not quite being intentionally assaulted, but:
>three row houses on fire, arsonist set the middle house on fire and the other two caught >I'm on the nozzle (of the hose) in one of the side buildings >doing my thing putting the wet stuff on the red stuff when I hear this weird popping >my partner and I can't figure out what it is but there's more and more weird pops and ping sounds >hear the truck airhorn blasting outside--the signal to evacuate >get outside and find out that the popping was ammunition going off It turned out the middle house belonged to a drug dealer and he'd had a couple of cases of some kind of ammo on the second floor. Thankfully no one got hit.
I've also had a lot of very combative patients on the ambulance but that wasn't so much assault as just not wanting to go.
Anonymous
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I had a great laugh at this thread, thank you guys. Also just wanted to thank all of you emergency workers for your time, I honestly have the utmost respect for you. I want to Mary a paramedic, since they are so awesome.
Anonymous
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another fattie story, kinda:>pt discharged from hospital >going home via ambulance, cuz he is a parapalegic with a bunch of extra holes courtesy of local pd >probably 500 lbs >five or six er workers are helping us get him onto the gurney >weak side lets him slip and roll over >strange "pop" sound is heard >nurse says "aw shi--" just as the smell hits me >i figure it out >holmes had rolled over onto his colostomy bag >popped it >never saw a room clear out so fast
Anonymous
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Holy fuck this thing is still going
Anonymous
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Somebody archive this fucking novel. I hear it's epic but I'd like to read it tomorrow.
Anonymous
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It may be a but late for this post. I dropped out of high school, all I have is a GED. I've really been considering going to the local community college and taking EMS classes. Is it worth it? My only other choices are things like retail and flipping burgers. I'd like a job that keeps me on my toes.
Anonymous
i'm 6'1" and 300 lbs. the two times i've ever been in the back of the ambulance i've offered to get out and step inside. hell the second time was for a smashed foot that nearly severed some toes, but the ALL FEMALE crew refused and hefted me in. they were very nice and professional and waived off my apologies.
gettin !swoLe9XFSw
Anonymous
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>>7964369 wats wrong with meth ?
Anonymous
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Bump out of fucking nowhere
Anonymous
