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>GF's friend is over at our house
>she's gotten very fat over the past few years
>she says "That's just how the women in my family are. My mother, grandmother, aunts, we all have the same pear shape, its genetic."
>I bite my tounge for social consideration.
>GF sees me holding back, she knows exactly what I'm thinking so she opens Pandora's Box.
>"Anon isn't buying it, he's well-read on matters of finess."
>Alright, if you really want me to go there. Explain, "Genetics will have a great influence on how you carry fat but it doesn't predetermine that you must become fat. You have similar eating habits and similar sedentary lifestyle as the other women in your family, which causes your weight problem to manifest itself the way it does."
>She replies, "No, I've spent a lot of time counting calories, and I've calculated my BMR, and despite eating at a consitent deficit for the past year and a half, I've continued to gain weight."
>"Let me ask you one simple question. Does your body obey the laws of physics? Okay, then you obviously aren't eating at a deficit. You've either underestimated your caloric intake, or overestimated your activity level."
Every single fat person on earth will do the same arithmetic in their head. "Either this guy's well constructed argument is correct, and being fat actually IS my fault, or he's just a rude, know-it-all fat-hater who can't relate because he's never had to work at it with his great genetics."
They will always take the path of least resistance, and so your help will always fall on deaf ears.