Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
[5 / 1 / ?]

No.7295794 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Hey Guys,

You probably remember my name is John, and I want to apologize to every single one of you. I'm pretty sure most of you arent fat and are probably cleverer than I said, and if you guys want to look at lewd 2D pictures and stuff, then that's cool, everyone has a different life. The world is here to be shared, and I'm happy to share it with you guys. Most of you have probably got pussy before, anyway... I had a look around and there was a picture of a bitch being plowed by a guy with "hyper weapon" written on his dick. I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people... I do it myself, but not as well as you guys. I actually met my bitch through gaia, so I guess we're all a bit nerdy sometimes.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I deserve it after what I was like. I resigned from the football team and took up mahjong, and quit basketball when I realised the only people playing were niggers anyway. I also tried jacking off to a 2D twin tails girl holding leeks, which actually isn't all that bad. I only got straight A's because my mom fucked the principal, and my hot girlfriend is actually just a blow-up doll (She just popped; Shit was SO shit). You are all just reasonable people who should disregard what I said to you, don't open a gensokyo portal LOL (am I a newfag or what?). Thanks for listening, no hard feelings, right?

Pic Related: It's me, Im really, really sorry