How about a soccer mom thread? Don't have any stories of my own but I do have some saved.
Anonymous
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
Anonymous
>Dressed as SS officers, full on Hugo Boss >Riding with my buddy in a kubelwagen >We were in a hurry and didn't pack lunch >Park car outside some cafe >Walk in with all gear on so nobody takes it from the car, theft is always a possibility >Woman at table by the door freaks out >"WHAT ARE THESE MEN DOING DRESSED LIKE NAZIS" >We tell her to relax, try to explain ourselves >"SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL THE POLICE, THESE COULD BE MURDERERS" >We shoot her >Police arrive on scene >We shoot them >Rest of division rolls in moments later >I actually am an SS officer >France, 1940
Anonymous
>>11120824 >reenactment group goes to German restaurant in uniform and vehicles >food is ordered >beer is ordered >good time is had >pay check >go to leave >get home >no incident Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11120853 >go to same restaurant >recipe is changed >food not as good >same price >leave mfw I don't have a Panzer to crush the place
Anonymous
>get new AR-15 >relatives come over >go get rifle and emerge to show my brother-in-law my new rifle since we're both into guns >sister sees it from across the room >gives me a strange room >tells me that it's dangerous to have guns around her children >tell her nothing will happen >she scorns me and walks away She doesn't know much about guns and is generally afraid of them but I'm trying to educate her. Also I murdered all of my relatives shortly thereafter and my sister was actually right.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>be 12 >get airsoft gun >go through lecture about how people will suspect its real and freak out if i take it outside >dont believe people can be that dumb >forward to summer, im outside >neighbour soccer mom sees this airsoft gun >she stands there and yells "HEY!" and runs inside real fast >wtf >comes back out with phone, dials, holds it to her head and points at me >"theres a kid with a freaking gun wondering around here" in a loud voice >cops show up >i was on my parents' property the entire time, didnt provoke anyone >i get off clean and she is still pissed >mfw people are this dumb No further incidents to date.
Anonymous
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>be 8, parents give me a .22 rifle >walk/ride my bike around the neighborhood with it >not a single fuck was given
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11120943 My cousin wasn't quite a lucky.
Cop came and snapped his airsoft gun in half and told my uncle if he saw a kid with that he'd shoot them.
/k/arl
>Be soccer mom >Walking along trying to find bad people to scare away >I look at my asshole neighbor >HE'S DRESSED AS A NAZI >HE HAS AN ILLEGAL ASSAULT SNIPER >I call the police, that'll show him >Police are like wtf this is the 4th time you've called us >I be mad >I make snide comments about him at the homeowner's association meetings amidoinitrite.jpg
Anonymous
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>>11121048 Shitty cops, make the rest of us look bad... fucking assholes.
Anonymous
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>>11121057 If you're a woman or a faggot, yes.
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
>>11120943 >Grow up in the SE U.S. >Everyone treats guns like everyday household items. >Live in upper class neighborhood with a golf course. >Several of my older neighbors routinely shoot squirrels with .22's in their 1-2 acre yards during the weekends. >not owning guns is widely considered to be a sign of weakness and subservience to those smarter and stronger than yourself >parents own guns but don't ever use them >they tell me it is because only a retard would not own guns and also essentially because 'fuck the government' >I did see soccer mom soccer mom on occasion, but never about guns One time:
>one of my friend was climbing a tree with me when his soccer mom mom showed up >she immediately freaks and yells at here son >he gets startled and falls out of tree >I almost follow suit due to laughing so hard Other than some occasional BS Christfag shit and the heat, the South is pretty nice. Hell, a lot of my elected officials actively try to find out how the government can do less. Also, the current congressman from where I went to high school directly call Obama a Nazi right after he took office. Much lulz were had by all.
Anonymous
>>11121091 not orlando though. Its people from New York.
>you have a pistol those are illegal you know >no lol wtf >I thought those were banned >nope you can just walk in and buy a gun They don't believe me
Anonymous
>>11121125 Not really, I'm a New Yorker and plenty people have guns around here
/k/alashnikov !!DVfXEE2Q9GF
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>>11120853 "And not a single fuck was given that day"
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
>>11121125 Florida never fought an open war with the Federal Gov't, so it is not the South.
Anonymous
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>>11121133 its puerto ricans from the city usually
>>11120874 I'm glad someone else on the board plays Heer on the weekend.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
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>>11121194 >aids would like to have a word with you fucking lol
Anonymous
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>>11121194 god sometimes im glad aids is around
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
>>11121195 >cannot into War of Northern faggotry Anonymous
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>>11121194 Also, you mught want to remind mr. faggot that clinton was the one that Created DADT.
Honestly when are all the stupid fucks going to wake up that with this snooty bitch attitude of their's, no one is going to feel compelled to stand in their corner for anything.
Lethargic
Not a soccermom story, but a hippie story>Be entertaining some friends >One friend brings a +1 who just happens to be a bleeding-heart-liberal-hippie faggot 'man' >He hears I into guns, starts freaking out thinking I'm going to shoot him >Lolwut >Whatever, watching a movie and faggotman needs to go use my restroom (my bathroom is basically IN my room) >Been cleaning Nugget and SW Sigma earlier, still laying on my bed disassembled >Faggothippiebitchman comes out HOLDING MY PRECIOUS NUGGET yelling it's dangerous to leave loaded weapons out >Mfw at his last comment, then proceed to almost slap his shit >He never comes back over, imveryokaywiththis.jpg
Anonymous
>>11121194 >mfw when conservatard inbreds and republishits think Obama is anti-guns Anonymous
>>11121248 Shouldn't have left weapons unsecured with a stranger in the house.
I do around friends but that's because I've personally trained them to be very safe with firearms.
>>11121263 >mfw you think he isn't He's not as bad as the NRA and the like would make you believe, but he's far from pro-gun.
And don't you dare bring up the whole carrying in state parks thing.
Lethargic
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>>11121276 Ohhhh trust me. I learned my lesson.
Now they're locked up to a metal bar in my closet, behind my hanging clothes so they're really hard to notice randomly unless you know they're there.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11121276 >And don't you dare bring up the whole carrying in state parks thing It's a valid point, whether you like it or not.
Anonymous
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>>11120933 That retarded ferret makes me happy every time I see it. Can someone tell me why?
>Be 28 >Carried for 6 years >Have to move back in because unemployed >Throw shoulder rig on desk after long drive home >Nap >Why is there a gun in this house?! We don't need one! It could ricochet and kill someone! Answer me huh HUH! >ugh because without one you're prey to anyone that does >That will never happen! I never got mugged so you won't either! Not around here! >... The story still isn't over, my mom's a stupid retired liberal that has the most fun in her life at garden shows and open houses.
>here this frog lieks 2 partah Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>11121194 OH MY GOD
I'm never leaning back in my chair during a greentext thread again, fucking broke my head on the floor laughing
Anonymous
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>>11121304 Fact is, that would've never gotten through if he had his way.
Anonymous
>Be 14 >Living in L.A. (Lower Alabama) >Everyone carries an EDC blade, if not you are useless subhuman >Move to NC, think it's actually a southern state >Soccer Mom sees my EDC clipped to the pocket of my jeans >Proceeds to flip the fuck out, grabs me, and accuses me of being a slasher >My brain thinks about my EDC maybe being a weapon for the first time (In L.A. you pull a knife, your ass gets shot) >Recover fast, tell that liberal bitch that she resides in the United Fucking States so she could go jump into Hillary Clinton's gaping cockholster if she doesn't like me >Soccer Mom freaks >Calls parents >Parents tell her if she touches me again they'll call the cops Fuckyeah.jpg>Good feels ruined by the knowledge I now resided in a Southern state filled with liberal fucksticks. >Feelsbad.jpg
Anonymous
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>>11121194 >aids would like to have a word with you I fucking lolled heartily. 11/10
Anonymous
>>11121179 I'm looking at doing reenacting on the German side but the only groups near me reenact the SS Divisions, no Heer or Wehrmacht.
Anonymous
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>>11121313 > "tell that liberal bitch that she resides in the United Fucking States so she could go jump into Hillary Clinton's gaping cockholster if she doesn't like me" I lol'd heartily. keep being awesome, man.
Anonymous
>>11121313 now I am in 334 I have not once came across anything that retarded...knives are like assholes down here everybody has em.
Anonymous
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>>11121338 Wehrmacht bros for life. SS are cool, but not my thing.
Anonymous
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>>11121263 not sure if trolling....
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
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>>11121263 Just because he hasn't done much as president against them doesn't mean that he is pro-gun (arguing that he supports the 2nd is fucking pants on head retarded)
>Fast and Furious >preventing medical MJ card holder from owning guns which flies in the face of due process of law and the 2nd >stating that he supports the reinstatement of a federal AWB during his campaign >supporting the ban of all ammunition more powerful than standard 9x19mm when he was in state gov't Need I go on?
Supporting him for other things is fine, but stating that he will not do anything against firearms ownership if he had the chance is very silly.
IMO, Obama is the soccer mom's champion in every way imaginable.
>MF during the election when Castro has propaganda posters all over Cuba almost the same as Obama's; even with similar slogans Anonymous
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fuck, why does everything have to turn to politics? this is a soccer mom thread not /pol/
Anonymous
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>>11121298 i can say it did cause i live in the former capitol, and major port city of Pensacola, when at the time was protected by 3 large forts all the Yankees went to the largest Ft Pickens on santa rosa island. the confederates under braxton brag took Ft Barrancas and Ft McREE on the opposite sides of the pass and bay. and they exchanged shell fire for awhile.
Anonymous
>>11121313 It's getting worse and worse. Half of the people in the state now are from NY and NJ, and they brought all their preconceived notions about firearms with them. Get away from big cities like Cary, Raleigh, Huntersville, and shit mellows out.
At least our state house is getting some shit done, like castle doctrine and carry in state parks. They tried restaurant carry, but it got shot down..
Anonymous
>>11121349 I was in 251 myself, then I happened to move to quite literally the one bit of NC that is all liberalfags instead of good 'ol boys.
mfw
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>11121308 That story has been around since BBS.
Anonymous
>>11121436 lol my dad lives up in NC he about shit himself when he saw my glock in my backpack...then went on to tell me about how it was so safe...so fast forward to the middle of the night...two streets over someone was killed and robbed in their homes....mfw
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
Yeah, Florida did fight in the Civil War. It is a joke that people from the my area grow up in use against people from Florida that they never did (because it implies they didn't matter, had a low population then, are now filled with northerners, and usually know nothing about Florida during the war unlike most people from other old members of the CSA). How many people from Florida do you know that had a large percentage of their ancestors actually fight against the north rather than for it? I have heard it other places too. I guess it is not a widespread as I thought.>MFW everyone ITT now thinks I know nothing about anything >also MFW Virginians try to say that they were the only REAL Sothern state during the Civil War
Anonymous
>>11121503 And I'm sure that didn't teach him a fucking thing.
libs gonna lib
Anonymous
>>11121532 That is a shitty gif, you can't even tell what he's doing to imply the fucks he's giving. Youtube vid was great though.
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
>>11121551 watching everyone on gun forums everywhere freak out about his ridiculously unsafe, irresponsible, and pointless dirt shooting videos is hilarious.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
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>carry potato cannon to and fro car to forest >nobody but my neighbro has any idea what it is, and he gives me a firm nod when i go by (exchange shooting time for free sound tiger tickets, shit's crazy awesome) >i'm thinking of getting a mount for it on the bar of my homemade sidehack (pic related but not homemade, that ones sprocket broke) so i can go WOLVERINES and apfsds through russian engine blocks when SHTF because no-one knows what it is pic related, the sidehack with the broken sprocket, i'm going to re-build it ground up with better stuff because my homemade sidehack has been a-ok for 12 years of abuse and this new one is just sad.
Anonymous
>>11121545 he's asian his ways will never change...unless i stamp an A+ on my guns :D
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
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>>11121551 >>11121574 Also, I haven't bothered looking into it, but it looks like he lives in the GA/SC area, which would make him pretty typical for the non-fudd gun owners his age in that area.
>yes this is what i actually think of average Americans Anonymous
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>>11121595 Maybe a 1911A1... Out of 1911 students, you got an A and are #1. It's code for success.
Anonymous
>>11121304 >Be Alaska >Two state troopers are hunting and shoot a deer, it runs off and dies >State troopers see some guy driving by in a snow mobile, they ask him to help >Yeah sure guys, ill help out >Federallas show up and arrest the snow machiner for using a snow machine on federal park land he crossed into at the request of state police to get the deer >fuck the fed Anonymous
paris !JGpbUljp5U
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>>11121625 >that's retarded Anonymous
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>>11121532 You make a good point. I've only met a few people from Florida who had ancestors who fought for the South, and I'm not sure how many. Most people just don't know or don't care I guess.
> MFW I moved to Florida from Virginia I've heard more often that Virginia wasn't a real southern state. I don't understand how anyone could make the claim that its the only REAL southern state hurr durr.
Anonymous
>>11121625 Since the police would explain they asked him to do it, I don't see any permanent problems.
Anonymous
>>11121663 The feds still fined him and attempted to put him behind bars, the state troopers were only allowed to be witnesses to his innocence.
Anonymous
>>11121796 >only allowed Define this. I don't see how "We shot a deer, and we asked him to go onto that land with his vehicle to retrieve it" is "only allowed".
Anonymous
>>11121625 Wait a second, we're the cops uniformed or off duty, that definitely makes a difference.
Anonymous
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>>11121308 That is the best greentext story I've read in ages.
Anonymous
Here's one that happened this week to me:>be going to gun range >be only one there (only open to public F/S/Su) >good times are being had >angry-looking young lady (late 20's and fat) come stomping onto range >sees me standing at 25m bay blastin with pistol (concrete floor covered range) >fumingly waits for me to finish mag, am now busy loading fresh mags from box o' boolits >grabs MY rangebag, starts hitting me repeatedly (had 500+ rounds of 9mm in it so it was heavy and pointy) >pistol whip her, pop fresh mag in, detain her at gunpoint >whole time she's screaming "MURDERER!" >wtf lady >beginning to think maybe I ricochet'd one over the berm and killed her dog, i dunno. Nobody lives anywhere near the range other than the owner >range owner runs over from where he lives (he lives ON the range) >sees me, also draws on her, calls cops on cellphone continued
Anonymous
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>>11121850 Well fucking continue
paris !JGpbUljp5U
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>>11121850 oh boy, this is going to be good.
Anonymous
>>11121815 He was being charged by federal agents, not by the state. He had to get his own lawyer, and the only thing that the police could do was be used as witnisses. The feds would have charged the state troopers but they had substance tags because they lived in a village, this allows them to hunt essentially anywhere.
Alaska routinely gets in fights with the federal government over land rights. The state had to defend a old man who passed out on his boat and drifted into a national park.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>cops show up guns drawn >call ambulance for me, as I'm bleeding profusely from where she bashed my fucking head open with my own range bag >question her at gunpoint >find out she moved into run-down trailer like 2 miles away, could vaguely hear gunshots >walked to range to find the (and this is her exact quote) "mass-murdering baby-killing muhreens who are shooting God-knows-whose-childrens" (marked range with locked gate, members have keys to gate--also nowhere near a Marine base)' >police send car to her house, since she didn't have any ID on her >runs her ID, find out she's under house arrest for assault and battery, on court-ordered anti-psychotics for delusions of the Government being out to murder her >cops refuse to actually arrest her despite me vehemently trying to press charges >ambulance arrives >EMTs decide I need at least overnight hospital stay and more than 20 stitches, definite concussion and possible brain injury >cops still refuse to arrest her >spoke with lawyer yesterday, pressing suit against PD and filing personal injury suit against crazy lady >got out of hospital today. 34 stitches, no brain damage. Pic was today's lunch.
Anonymous
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>>11121889 Oughta just start disappearing agents.
Anonymous
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>>11121915 Why are people like that allowed to live? Nevermind breed.
Anonymous
>>11121915 sucks man. maybe if you get tons o money you can join the ranks of drake and get a sexy deck.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11121915 >bashed over head >eating vegetables OH THE IRONY
also, believable, my neighbor who just got evicted went insane, he told me
1: holograms in his house
2: fbi bugged in his house
he went mental and tried to attack me, so yeah, same position.
Anonymous
>>11121908 Well there's yer' problumz, how fucked did he get? Off duty basically makes them civs in this account
Anonymous
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>>11121915 Don't you have some friends that could just take care of her?
Anonymous
>>11121947 Not getting a red cent outta her, her only ID was a medicaid card.
The police will settle no questions asked but doubt if I'll get more than a half million out of it.
Anonymous
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>>11121993 Should've capped her as soon as you reloaded. Bet no one would've batted an eyelash.
Anonymous
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>>11121982 In the end I do not know, I just remembered the situation when reading this thread and tried to find it so that I could cite it. Last I heard he was getting fucked pretty hard.
nugget collector !!uQNUO9jTizl
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>>11121915 I probably would have shot her. She could have killed you. Some one even approaching an obviously armed person in a threatening manner has a pretty high chance of being extremely dangerous, let alone actually attacking an armed person.
Anonymous
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>>11121850 Well fuck. If that's all, throw me a couple thou, eh /k/omrade? I already have a gun picked out, so you know it goes to a good cause.
Anonymous
>be nogunz last year. >finally get license, purchase nugget and 50 rounds of nugget food. >going to gravel pit range, loading shit in truck. >bring out nugget, soccer mom neighbour happens to notice. >full brady mode engaged. >WHAT IS THAT >Er..... a rifle? >Starts giving me shit for owning a gun as they are sentient evil beings that magically rise in the night and murder children. >Explain to her that it's harmless unless I have it loaded, which I don't >Cunt starts fucking yelling now, repeating the same shit, ORDERS me to fucking get rid of it or she'll get the cops to do it. >Toss rifle in truck, ignore her and drive off. >Go to range, shooting for the first time, have the most fun I've had since I was a kid. >Come back. >Cops in my yard, cunt leaning off her deck with the biggest sneer I've ever seen. >Apparently she said that I had loaded my rifle and threatened her with it. >Cops know she's full of shit, but they have to investigate anyway. >Trying to clear it up with them >Bro tier neighbour across street comes over, he saw the whole thing and vouches for me. >She gets a ticket, assdevastated, yells at the officers, yells at me. Pulls shit like this all the time, everybody in town fucking hates her.
Anonymous
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>>11122080 And nobody has the balls to get rid of her... how sad.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11121993 half a million ain't bad.
half a million's actually beautiful.
Anonymous
>be in New Jersey in early 1990s >playing with non-firing M16 in the park wearing dad's Vietnam era uniform >cop rolls up, stops, stares at me >i salute >he salutes >drives off Present day...I'd be fucking dead with the trigger happy douches that patrol the streets in the Socialist Republic of Jersey.
Anonymous
>>11122122 Think of all the rifled spudgun barrels you could buy!
Dr. Fluke Hawkins !NFbC/Kci56
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>>11122080 I can believe it- even being from the South doesn't necessarily cure soccer-mom.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11122130 >80$ per 5 foot barrel >15$ for the rest of it >5263 accurate spudguns WHO WANTS TO JOIN MY ARMY?
plus, nice one broseph, the last time i mentioned i had a rifled spud gun was like, last month.
stay classy.
Anonymous
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>soccer mom sees me OCing while mowing my lawn >starts running at me, wailing like a banshee >starts pissing herself, collapses, cries >I blade out, draw and shoot her soccerball >out of nowhere it starts to rain dicks
Anonymous
>>11121962 Vegetables are part of a balanced and healthy diet... however it's strange that he's ONLY eating vegetables.
Anonymous
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>House is being renovated, too damn loud to game in peace >Pretty cool out, go outside and plug up laptop to exterior outlet >Was going to play snes games or something, but my wifi was fine so I fired up counter strike >2nd round all the Ts are dead, start defusing the bomb >Hear shouting >Old ass neighbor I don't see much of and barely even know starts flipping his shit >Starts blabbing about how my generation is emasculated and how im a pussy for playing this shit >Seriously something fucked up about him, alt+f4 and getting the fuck back in the house >Had /k/ open in the background, i swear to god he had to of recognized it because he went cool as a slate and started walking away like he was embarrassed Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you people
Anonymous
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>>11121915 Fuck. All those veggies would give me cramps. Forever a fat-fuck.
Anonymous
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>>11122181 err, and some fruit.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11122181 I think that glob in the middle of a salad like thing is Tuna.
You can even see on the 'receipt' thing its a Tuna Salad plate. Even though the thing just looks like a Dipping set (Which makes me think that could be a good meal. Tuna in the middle with scoopy vegies, breads, and other such around with a little thing of tomato soup, so you Dip the Dip.). I think that's also a chicken soup on the left of the peas. Hospital food doesnt leave for a lot of variety, Or Flavor!
Anonymous
>be 17 in government class >fat bitch of a teacher is trying to explain the difference between state and federal laws >uses gun laws as an example >lol, this should be good >explains that though the constitution guarantees the right to bear arms, the states can regulate them to pieces >starts to say that in our state, (GA), the law requires all gun owners to have a license and further bullshit >raise my hand and correct her politely stating that i own a gun, and i do not need a license for it >strange room from entire class >everyone is looking at me now >anti-social hood engaged >kid starts calling me out for being a gun nut >other kids join in >they get louder and more aggressive >people are standing up and moving towards me >i can feel spaghetti building up in my pockets >sweat is pouring from every gland in my body >kids take out gym socks and drop bars of soap in >they tie me to a desk and lay into me with the soap >i struggle to keep the spaghetti from flowing from my pockets >one bar of soap hits me in the nose and i lose control >spaghetti explodes from all of my pockets, showering the room in steaming pasta and tomato basil >the jets of spaghetti are propelling me around the room like a damaged helicopter >my assailants' bodies are strewn about the room, a few are writhing in pain on the ground below me >I loose consciousness as the flow of spaghetti accelerates >i awake in calculus covered in a cold sweat >get on the floor >everyone do the dinosaur
paris !JGpbUljp5U
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>>11122242 oh, i though that was hummus.
Anonymous
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>>11122129 lol yeah
before
>hello sir can I see your license and registration please Today
>Step out of the vehicle sit on trunk keep hands up for having a tail light broken
Anonymous
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>>11122156 Oh yes, how could I forget that thread. Jesus christ my sides that night, I think we may have archived the thread, too. But knowing chanarchive it probably got deleted.
Anonymous
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>>11122290 hahahah
more like this
Anonymous
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>>11122290 >the jets of spaghetti are propelling me around the room like a damaged helicopter I lost it there
BagelBoi53
>>11121421 You forgot to mention the bluest part of the goddamned state: Davidson. Half of the cars are Priuses, and everyone is either a snobby old Lexus-driving faggot, or some pot-smoking hipster. In short, NC is incredibly gay. I want to try to get out to a nice dry, hot, red place like Texas or Arizona.
>be walking home from school, 18 >have EDC knife in pocket, clip showing >walk past redlight, soccer moms going home from picking kids up at school >waiting to cross, take out knife from pocket to clean under nails >soccer mom sees knife >freaks >wind down window, yell past kid in passenger seat >NO DON'T DO THAT YOU WILL CUT YOURSELF >YOU WILL CUT SOMEONE >THAT IS SUICIDE >wat >light changes, put knife back in pocket, cross street >walk home >she follows me home >wtf >go in house, she stops outside, >PARENTAL CONFRONTATION ATTEMPT >Nope.jpg >she gets to stoop, I take action >beat the bitch with the entrance hallway >3 doors, glass knobs, even a table and lamp >concrete re-enforced walls, white paint >she never saw it coming
Anonymous
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>>11122430 Oh god, bro, be careful WHERE in Texas you try out because some places here are very humid.
Anonymous
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>>11122430 Texas isn't all hot and dry you know.
Anonymous
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>>11122454 why weren't you cc'ing a hallway in the first place?
do you need a permit for that?
Anonymous
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>>11122290 >the jets of spaghetti are propelling me around the room like a damaged helicopter I'm sick, my lungs are fucked up, and you nearly killed me good sir. I literally thought one of them has collapsed.
It would have been a good death.
Anonymous
>>11122454 That's a nice hallway, but I would do away with the tacticool glass nobs. Only mall ninjas buy that shit.
Anonymous
>>11122478 were you raised under a rock? glass knobs are classic, vintage pieces. he was being fucking classy. mallninja shit is those "high speed, low drag" stainless steel handles.
Anonymous
>>11122504 I dunno, I'm not much of a classy guy. I just like a standard surplus hallway, no bells and whistles or fancy doorknobs and shit. You know, something I can not only use to beat someone to death with, but also walk down with muddy shoes and go without vacuuming for long periods of time.
lol, I was just being an ass on purpose. I'm not that good at being funny; you, however, are.
Anonymous
ive got one pissed me off that it happened and the cops believed the bitch. Im filing a suit now too. >Be me TN resident >Loading truck for range day with some friends >Moist Nugget AR 15 other stuff in obvious gun cases >OC my FN 5-7 in Serpa with T shirt tucked in to pants > Soccer mom drives by in Explorer > Sees me carrying three gun cases to my car >Drives by seconds later again im carying ammo to truck >Comes by one last time I see her off a ways, I walk to road to stop her and see if theres a problem, maybe lost.. >She says she thought I had a bunch of guns and ammo in my truck >But was sure I wasnt a cop >Move my hand to gesture she sees 5-7 on my hip >EYES WIDE AS FUCK going to get murdered look engaged >She pulls out cell phone hits accelerator almost runs me the fuck over >Well I knew what was going on so I waited >Two cars speed up emergency traffic > Soccer mom drives up >Cops order me on ground >I stand there >Mom has sneer on face >Get nervous >Magpul fanny pouch reeks of old spaghetti >Chris Costa undies are tight on my boner >Hech my Koch glasses have sweet beads on lenses > Urge to kill rising >Fuck it I decided to draw down on the pigs >Gun turns to dragon dildo squirting fire from tip >Cops shoot me in the nuts three times even though they were aiming for head >Shit self Piss self Cum and piss and shit all over chris costas face >Shit all over travis haleys face on the ass of the underwear >My balls roll out of my 5.11 tac pants on the ground >Cops think they are grenades >Cops obliterate my fucking balls right in front of me >sadpandaface.jpg > browncummypiss runs all over my nice boots and 5-7 Im suing those fucking cops now. I miss my balls and Chris gentle beard picture grazing my dick
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122537 s'all good man. i appreciate that taste. i try to limit my hallway to stock knobs and everything. i'm a simple man. i'm thinking about shelling out the big bucks though and getting hardwood so i have major stoppin powah when i club people with it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Does anyone have the screenshot of the Bradyfag who was complaining (i think on FB) about how her neighbors allegedly had a ".50 caliber war" that lasted 10 hours and no one ever called the cops? oh god i laughed so hard when i first read that. hope someone has that.
Anonymous
Been away for a few months....did I miss some entrance hallway fiasco?! So confus...
Anonymous
>>11122616 Remember strange room? It's kinda like that
Anonymous
>>11122543 11/10
Thought it was a legit story. Well played sir. Well played.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122623 That was about the time I departed. Anyone got thead?
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11122616 Last month or the one before (I dunno, time goes so fast these days...), this guy told a greentext story about how his father had beat some guy to death in their hallway while he was in his room behind a closed door. However, he made a typo and made it sound like his father beat a man to death WITH the hallway. Much hilarity ensued in the thread after that, I really should have screencapped it because it was funny as hell.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122636 by how he built it up i was a little sad it wasn't. i love hearing about bitchy hipsters/soccermoms getting their asses handed to them by the law.
Anonymous
Haven't posted this on in a while:>Walking ten blocks to a basement show one evening >Hotter than balls out >"Black was a bad choice..." >Figure I've got plenty of plain black Ts, might as well cut the sleeves off >Remove shirt, pull out knife, sit on corner and start cutting sleeves off shirt >Politely nod to any passers-by, no one seems to care >Almost done, when cop car comes screaming up the street and stops thirty feet from where I'm sitting >wellthiscan'tbegood.jpg >Cop exits car >"Do you have a knife?!" >I hold up knife by the blade, between thumb and forefinger >Cop draws on me, "DROP THE KNIFE!!!" >I toss the knife away from me, get on my belly, and do my Sleeping Jesus impression
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>recieve nugget in mail, plus 1000 rounds of nugget food. >assemble proud soviet attire for day at range. >driving through town, soccer mom convention on one of the roads, driving past. >soccer moms turn their heads as one, and the world falls silent, they can smell the cosmoline. >charge with the force of a thousand wheezing buffalo, their footsteps shake the earth. >attempt to speed away, but they hastily pile into two dozen minivans and give chase, screaming about baby-killing assault weapons. >flick secret switch in car, morphs into /k/ designed prius chopper. >circle strafe convoy of soccer moms, their screams bring joy to me this day. >fly home, triumphant victory I thought. How wrong I was. >with use of twitter and the brady facebook page, they organize a strikeforce to verbally assault me unprepared. >they arrive at night, they start banging against my doors and windows like the undead. >FIX BAYONETS. >Charge out back door, cunt punt the first and bayonet the second. >done ushanka and mosin, sprint till innawoods. >they're not far behind, their mass is felling trees as they charge through the forest. >set up snares and pit traps to slow them down. >find cabin of fellow /k/omrade, inside is an assortment of firearms and shittons of ammunition. >begin a partisan campaign against them, conducting ambushes outside town halls whenever a child dies, planting mines in driveways and sniping key leaders and VIPs.
Anonymous
>>11122656 fuck, that was only in the last couple of months? damn, it feels like that happened longer ago than that.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
cont. from
>>11122661 :
>Cuffed and searched >"Yes, officer, this is my valid ID. No, officer, there's nothing dangerous on my person you need to worry about..." >Cop asks me what I was doing with the knife >Tell him I was cutting the sleeves off my shirt >He sits me up, sees my t-shirt minus one sleeve, and the other sleeve half cut-off >Rookie goes pale as a Ginger kid >"Fuck! ...Man, I was about to shoot you..." Been friends ever since with the cop ever since. No charges pressed. Turns out some paranoid soccer-mom type phoned in a "shirtless man lurking mencingly with a knife," or something. I got turned loose, and got to the place I was headed for before the show even started (lazy crust punks...) I even got my knife back after a couple days.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122669 Honestly, it could have even been 3 months ago, but it was definitely this year... I think. Time goes by so damn fast it's hard to even keep track of it anymore.
Anonymous
>"Liberals" call cops and sneer as you are arrested for exercising both a civil right and constitutionally protected right. >Cry when cops are called because they cause property damage during protests. All of my hate. I mean there must be so much cognitive dissonance there that it could run an FTL engine for fucking ever if it was fueled by stupid.
>>11122478 'dem glass knobs are original to the house, built in '23
Vintage all the way.
Anonymous
>>11122724 >FTL engine mahniggah.jpeg
Anonymous
>>11122736 All joking aside, that must be a pretty nice hallway then.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122751 ONE HIT FROM THIS, AND IT'S ALL OVER
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122724 Those are the kind of liberals that give the rest of us a bad name...
I'm sorry, but I'm big on protecting ALL of our civil rights, not just the ones on the Democratic Party's talking-points. You have no idea how many progressiver-than-thou fucktards I've had shout at me for being a staunch gun-rights supporter.
Not a big fan of the NRA, though... GOA and JDFO get all my support, but LaPierre can suck a Cox.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122724 >>11122747 this analogy makes me happy
Quoted By:
>>11122751 Good old family heirloom house. Pretty small, but cozy.
Anonymous
>be shooting 12ga and mosin with my bro >on range on fenced private property >have shot guns here for years >dad and uncle used this range years ago too >new neighbors 1/2 mile down road on other side of ridge. >we are done shooting and walking back to vehicles >see short stubby woman with a ragged bun hair-do struggling to cross over barbed wire >notice she also has what looks to be a snub nozed revolver >screams hey! HEY! stop! *points gun up in air* >stopms foward at us with pistol leveled at us >bro raises his m44 and asks what her problem is, you're on marked private land >my kids are trying to play and you have scared them so badly with your automatic gunfire they wont come out from under thier bed >thier ages are 2 and 4 and they like to play powerwheels barbie (an exact quote that we still make fun of) >tell her we are calling the police if she dosent leave, armed trespasser on our property > she heads towards the road, says shes calling the police for threatening her kids >mfw the local (not state) cops actually show up and say that we were shooting at her house >THEY HEARD THE BULLETS GO BY THE WINDOW >cops start giving us a safety lesson, says a 50 yard range is deadly cause of ricochets of off dirt backstop >nod and smile >this shit is still ongoing to this day >her pos husband gets drunk and rides a dirtbike w/ no muffler up and down the county road >they like to mag dump some type of pistol in the wee hours of the morning to be assholes >i guess the drunk fathers guns arent scary >find out that neighbors wife's sister is in jail for meth production. Her kids taken away by the state. >HOORAY KENTUCKY
Anonymous
Not mine but my friend's dad has a pretty good one.>Friend's dad decides to do yard work because the bushes out front are getting out of hand. >Grabs the usual gardening gear from the shed out back. >Puts off duty Glock 26 in leather holster and OCs it out front. >Does this because the Dept. warned of threats from local gangs. >Starts getting to work trimming and mowing shit. >New neighbor who moved in pulls into her drive way. >Still has California plates (you can see where this is going). >Waves in a neighborly fashion as she exits her car before he goes back to trimming hedges. >Out of fucking no where, he takes a bat to the back of the head. >She just came back from Softball practice. >Friend's dad is unconscious, bitch takes his gun from the holster and runs back into her house. Continued...
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11122863 >rounds ricochet off dirt okay occifer.
also, if she her gun at you, i would shoot the shit out of her.
would've made the world a lot better.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122902 oh man, if this turns out to be some bullshit story i'll be pissed. it sounds good.
Fenaeris !!J3OpZKITqn8
Quoted By:
>>11122724 >I mean there must be so much cognitive dissonance there that it could run an FTL engine for fucking ever if it was fueled by stupid. So many lawlz were had.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>turn 21 >at friends house >his mom asks what i'm doing today to celebrate >going to buy myself a new pistol >OMG NO GUNS IN MY HOUSE! GUNZ R BAD >pokerface.jpg >i never said i was going to bring it here at all ever.... >but gun owners live in fantasy land! >get up and calmly leave >me and friend still lol about it
Anonymous
>>11122902 MY RAGE IS SLOWLY BUILDING UP
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
>>11122902 anticipation, it's killing me
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122902 *startship troopers "Would you like to know more" announcement pops up, SPAMS YES BUTTON*
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122988 >>11122996 srsly. if this man is a troll, my jimmies will be excessively rustled.
>>11122902 Oh and ya that's it.
>bitch claims to never have done it says saw some Redguard kid >never got the gun back and he hates that bitch to this day paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11122902 I AM FIRE BALLED ANTICIPATING FOR THE ENSUING RAGESHOT
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122902 FINISH THE FUCKING STORY!
Guys
Quoted By:
>>11122902 Best trolling method ever. Begin story then just leave.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123009 >click email >sage I SEE YOU TROLL
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122902 Type this shit out in notepad before posting dumbass.
Anonymous
>>11122902 >Five minute later, cops roll up >They radio for EMTs, Officer down >They see his gun's missing and that he's on the ground. >Gun Missing on the Ground = Shot and robbed. >They approach and see he isn't shot >Wake him up >EMTs arrive a few minute later. >Dad's getting checked out. >Minor concussion >Cops ask what happened. >Dad says he was assaulted, dun'k know who done it, and he asks where his gun is. >Two more squad cars show up. >Start going door to door to ask questions as Dad's being checked out. >Softball Mom's house is first. >She answers the door gun still in her hand More coming up, stay tuned /k/...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123032 You are shit at story telling. Kill yourself
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123032 TYPE IT OUT ON NOTEPAD,
STOP THE SUSPENSE.
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
Quoted By:
>>11123032 oh my god, you are the slowest typer in the world
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123032 GOGOGOGOGOGOG TYPE THAT SHIT OUT
*grabs noms and drinks* ITS STORY TIEM GENTS!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>She answers the door gun still in her hand Oh god the suspense. Alls I imagine is this cunt getting her world turned upside down. So beautiful. Please continue.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123032 oh god sir. you're going to kill me by the end of the night if you keep this up, but please do carry on. i must know...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123032 >She answers the door gun still in her hand this is gonna be good.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
F5 BUTTON! Y U NO DEPRESS FASTER?!
Anonymous
>>11123032 >"Ma'am, we're here to ask some questions regarding the recent assault on an officer." >Oh no! Where'd it happen? >Officer wuts >"Right next door ma'am." >Her face goes bone fucking white. >"I see you have your defense weapon out, how long have you had it?" >Oh look, [Insert bullshit excuse here]. >"Hey [____], was your gun a Glock 26?" >"Yeah! >Bro cop knocks on the door again. >Guns drawn. >Open the door >Get on the floor >Miranda rights. >She's charged with possession of an illegal firearm and assaulting an officer. Climax is coming up, fellas.
Slow because fuck captcha.
Dan the Viking
Quoted By:
>>11123099 YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123099 >charged with possession of an illegal firearm and assaulting an officer. Is that all? I'm no lawyer but I feel like they could have piled on a whole lot more charges.
Anonymous
>>11123099 my heart skipped a beat when
>open the floor >get on the door i thought you had us there for a minute. you sly little fucker. now fuckin continue man
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123116 fuck. open the door, get on the floor. how did i mess that up?
Anonymous
>>11123099 >mfw I read "get on the floor" >thought the next line was going to be about walking dinosaurs paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123099 I WANT TO GIVE YOU A SWEDISH MASSAGE.*
*accent optional
Anonymous
>>11123131 You are everyone in the thread.
Papulu !dCodef2d72
Quoted By:
>>11123131 >>11123116 My thoughts exactly.
Anonymous
>>11122863 Similar story to this from back when I lived innacreekbottoms inna IL
>be out on farm, general maintenance/fuckery, maybe shoot a coyote if one trips over me >be shootan at baby turtles at the dam of one of my ponds with .44mag revolver (was great fun to see huge geysers containing bits of these invasive bastards) >vvvrrrmmm....vvvvrrrrmmmmm >wtf is that? (pretty faint and due to creekbottom/ravine couldn't tell where its coming from) >spot big-assed snapper sunnin itself on a rock on the dam >line up, cock, start to squee-VRREEEEEEEMMM >dirt bike comes flying up backside of dam (50deg incline), sails over the turtle, and lands 20ft into the pond >FYI, pond is 11 acres onto marked private property by closest direction, mostly heavy woods and deep ravines >9 yo boy comes spluttering out of pond, grinning like a fool >sees me with pistol and thoroughly pissed-in jeans >screams like a little girl >here comes mamabear up the backside of the dam on one of those Gator-thingys >looks at me. Looks at kid standing waist-deep in my pond. Looks back to me. Pulls shotgun off hood-rack of Gator >I dive for cover, yell at her to drop her gun and GTFO my property >YOU BASTARD YOU HURT MY BABY BOY BOOOOM >YOU COCK SLOBBERING NORTHERN LIL GIT BOOOM (mind you i'm in midwest Illinois on the family homestead) >I'LL LEARN YA NOT TO MESS WITH THE [redacted] FAMILY BOOOM (at this point kid is now cowering innamud on the dam with me--she's now shooting at her kid too) continued
Anonymous
Anonymous
Dan the Viking
>>11123140 >Swedish Massage >Not Norwegian Handshake Anonymous
>neighborbro apparently hears her screaming, calls game warden >game warden comes flying down tractor path to dam in his truck, lights goin (he lives only like a mile away) >she SHOOTS AT THE FUCKING MARKED GAME WARDEN TRUCK >game warden slides truck to a stop, uses engine block as cover, and hits her square in the right nipple on his first shot >goes to check her, she's still alive and not too terribly injured (apparently getting your tit shot isn't life threatening) >"anon, cover her while I call an ambulance" >ambulance takes half hour to get there, little kid is screaming, biting and kicking UNIFORMED GAME WARDEN for shooting his mom >ambulance shows up, EMT's wat when they see overweight middle-aged woman writhing on ground, little kid cuffed at both hands and one leg to a game warden's brushguard, a 20-ish man covered in mud, piss, and turtle-bits, and a game warden who looks like he just witnessed the Tet Offensive >load mamabear in ambulance, she won't stop writhing so they have to strap her down in like 9 places >DSS eventually shows up to take kid, DSS officer gets bit bad enough to require stitches, takes kid away >game warden helps me pull dirt bike outta my pond, calls gamewardenbro to bring a trailer for the bike and Gator for evidence >find 5-gal bucket of Morel mushrooms in gator >backtrack the dirt bike (little shit completely tore up bottom of ravine, STILL having erosion problems on one hill he ripped the fuck out of 8 years later) continued...sorry this is a long one
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123099 >posting so goddam slow Anonymous
Quoted By:
>With my ex gf at wal mart >in line to buy shit >carrying Cold Steel Rajah in my pocket >Soccer mom and kids behind me >Reach in pocket to grab wallet > soccer mom screams OMGAWRD HES TAKING OUT A KNIFE takes kids and runs away >MFW I was getting my wallet to pay >MFW rajah is probably to big to edc
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123155 >obviously doesn't get Ty Burrel reference Anonymous
Last one hopefully.>find where they'd taken an axe to my fenceposts and laid a 13ft section of fence flat so they could drive across. The section of fence they cut down had TWO no-trespassing signs >gamewarden snapping pictures like a rookie photographer in the Playboy Mansion >goes and gets his truck >able to backtrack dirtbike all the way to some shack out innawoods on another dude's property, looked to be handmade outta scrap lumber and tarpaper >beercans, Wendy's bags, shotgun hulls, and dirty diapers everywhere (they never did figure out if the diapers were from the 9yo or from never-found baby) >go find landowner >landowner had no goddamned clue they were there, royally pissed due to extensive damage to his land/pollution >lady recovers within week, cannot make bail, stays in jail for 8 months till trial. Kid anhero's at DSS kids' shelter, leaves suicide note saying he's gonna "haunt the muthafucka who shot his mama" (kid was white, mom was white) >be on witness stand during trial, being questioned by defense attorney (who wasn't really trying) >attorney has me describing kid coming sailing over dam into pond >asks me if I shot at him >lolnope >defense brings out my pistol as evidence >all 6 chambers STILL LOADED >entire court gives attorney strange room >attorney massively blushes, quickly puts pistol away >attorney asks why I provoked mamabear dammit nope 1 more
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123163 >little kid cuffed at both hands and one leg to a game warden's brushguard laughing so hard at this
Anonymous
>>11123163 OK last one finally
>cut attorney off mid-question, outright cuss him out about how HER kid NEARLY HIT ME on a VEHICLE HE WASNT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRIVE on MY LAND after CUTTING DOWN A MARKED NO TRESPASSING FENCE while POACHING MUSHROOMS\ >mamabear, who is sitting next to her lawyer, FREAKS >while still cuffed, she grabs her lawyer's (occupied) folding chair and starts hitting the judge's stand with it while going off about Northerners and how the South got the shaft (we're STILL in Illinois)' >gets batonned unconscious by bailiff >court goes in recess >be waiting in hallway, now have 2 sheriff's deputies no more than 4 feet from me at all times >judge calls us all back in >bitch unanimously adjudicated mentally deficient, life in happy home >never did find out her legal residence or anything about her other than what she told cops, due to no ID, fingerprint record, anything >game warden helps me rebuild fence with funds the Warden's Dept got from selling the Gator >reeeaaalllly shoulda shot the bitch Anonymous
>sitting at home, average night >have my CZ-82 on me at all times >hear knock at my door >sweet, pizza's here >open to find some half drunk frat asshat >"can i help you?" >"yo bro, here for the party man" >"theres no party here dude, you got the wrong address" >go to shut door >retard jams his foot in door >wellfuckme.jpg >DEFCON 1 mode engaged >draw CZ-82 >"leave, now" >he slams himself into my door >shoot him once >he goes down >call cops >tell them what happened >cops are chill about it, take dude to hospital >his BAC was about twice legal limit >his mom goes to press charges >lolwut.jpg >case gets thrown out by judge >bitch goes full fucking crazy mode in court room >calls me a psychotic nazi, claims i bribed judge and entire police force is corrupt and "out to get her" >she gets escorted out >apparently she had a blog, and went postal on me, judge, and cops >blog basically called us all a bunch of baby killers and all that fun shit >she tries to sue me for "trauma that i incurred to her son" by defending myself >new judge, doesnt throw out case >my lawyer does some digging on her and her son >finds her blog >end up proving it was self defense, counter sue bitch for libel >win >get a couple grand from the fucker >her blog gets baleeted >she has to do community service its weird, you expect it to be deafening without ear pro, but really its not that bad, its like 4th of july in a way.
Anonymous
Peeps posting them stories - ante the fuck up, thank you! :) Also, this shit needs to be archieved. I can't be bothered to because I don't know how. Just full of potential man.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11123099 >She gets dragged out in hand cuffs, squirming and shout lawsuit threats. >Gets slapped with resisting arrest too. >Bro cop hands dad his Glock back. There's a huge fucking scratch on the polished slide. >Dad's jimmies: >[] Unrustled >[x]rustled >Tells bro cop he'd like to file charges for vandalism and petty theft. >Bro cop agrees. >Open the door. >Toss that cunt inna cruiser. >She's balling her eyes out. >Dad's still getting checked out by EMTs, who now have huge shit eating grins on their faces. >Two cops go in her house to take pictures for evidence. >They come out with a small vial of illegal steroids from her purse. >She's throwing a temper tantrum in the back seat. >Charges: >Assaulting an officer >Assault with a deadly weapon >Illegal possession of a firearm >Illegal substances >Vandalism >Petty Theft THE FINAL IS COMING UP HOLD ON TO YOUR JIMMIES.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123196 GHAWHAWHA YOU DO NOT KNOW THE FACES I AM MAKING RIGHT NOW
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Are you typing with your toes or something?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123183 Should have shot her and the kid and never said a thing about it.
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
Quoted By:
>>11123183 thats fucked up dude, like every part of that
Anonymous
>>11123196 My jimmies are gone.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123196 oh jesus christ there's so much. i'm sorry though but that dirt bike shrooms story kind of overshadowed this now...
Papulu !dCodef2d72
Quoted By:
>>11123196 TYPE FASTER DAMNIT!
Anonymous
I am a liberal, and I can tell you that these "people" aren't liberals, they're socialists. True liberals believe in liberty and the freedoms laid out by the Constitution and its amendments.
Anonymous
>>11123227 Mine have gone to plaid.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123196 MY JIMMIES HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN A NOOSE SIR, NO NEED TO ASK ME TO.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123196 >>Assaulting an officer >Assault with a deadly weapon >Illegal possession of a firearm >Illegal substances >Vandalism >Petty Theft That's more like it. Though I would have thrown in trespassing and being a communist just for the hell of it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123196 inb4 walk the dinosaur
PLEASE NO!!!
Anonymous
>>11123240 man, i haven't watched that movie in forever
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>be 16 >gather airsoft gear >go to woods across the street from school for a friendly game >pull into parking lot >take out weapons >soccer moms giving us strange looks but none say anything >we realize this might not be our smartest idea ever >say fuck it, go inna woods shoot each other with plastic bbs for 4 hours >come out and its dark, nobody around >go home jack off and eat and sleep >everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
Papulu !dCodef2d72
>>11123258 >>11123240 Fuck you guys.
Now I need to watch it!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Oh god so much good content I'm exploding.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123196 WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE JIMMIES?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123163 >covered in mud, piss, and turtle-bits >turtle-bits lol'd good there
Anonymous
>>11123261 NOW HEAR THIS: LUDICROUS SPEED
LUDICROUS SPEED, GO!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
If i'm ever in a situation like this and I can't just fucking shoot them legally, I am going to sue and press every damn charge I can, just to be a prick.
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
Quoted By:
>>11123269 oh my god, last time i watched that movie i was too young to understand the jokes.
holy shit.
must watch
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123261 >>11123258 >that feel when >can't get spaceballs dvd, it's on my boat in the cabin ;_;
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123228 Already archived, didn't noticed before. My bad. Let the good times roll :)
Anonymous
>>11123196 >Friend and I get there >EMTs, EMT's er'rywhere >Friend asks what happened to Dad >Story >We both laugh hard >Cops throw vial in evidence bag >EMTs clear bro dad. >He gets up to go inside by himself because fuck assistance. >Open the door >Get on the floor >Dad stood up to fast >We help him inside and into his chair >Give Glock to bro cop for evidence >Turn Heartbreak Ridge on for dad as friend and I whip up some steaks. >Good rest of the day >Finish yard work for dad next day as cops clear her house out for evidence. >Multiple vials >Pirated films >Weed Now, would anyone like to hear the impending court story? And can I get a screen cap of this?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123261 >>11123269 if someone would stream that shit tonight i'd be in on that
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 Please, don't stop on our accounts.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 Legal interest is piqued
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 yes
its archived
Anonymous
>>11123283 So was she a dealer? I really don't understand why a chick would take steroids.
Anonymous
>>11123283 oh my god yes.
every time you do that open the door get on the floor, my heart practically drops, and a little rage builds up. are you a wizard?
Papulu !dCodef2d72
>>11123269 MFW I say that as I am editing footage and I need to speed past some shit.
>>11123283 CLOSURE! And please go on.
Anonymous
>>11123283 I would love to hear about the court story but I fear the heat death of the universe may happen first at the rate you are posting.
Anonymous
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123306 i'm also loving all the sci-fi/science lingo getting thrown around in this thread
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 Let us know how good it went for the old man.
I want to know how badly he fucked in a civil suit.
Anonymous
>>11123283 so what exactly happened here.... your uncle got stung by a bee while mowing the yard?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123316 no need to ruin the moment for us here
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK Mon 19 Mar 2012 08:48:00 No. 11123322 Report >>11123316 sorta
replace the sting with a bat and the bee with a crazy-ass bitch who was apparently pedaling drugs
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123269 JAHOWL, LORD HELMET!
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11123327 I knew it! I'm surrounded by Assholes!
Papulu !dCodef2d72
>>11123331 Thank you good anon!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123322 wat was her motive for the asslt and theft of the weapon
what a crazy meth bitch
Anonymous
>>11123300 She played softball for the city team...
>>11123302 No, I just like throwing in a bit of minor trolling...
OKAY /k/, COURT STORY COMING UP. WILL TRY TO CONDENSE IT.
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK Mon 19 Mar 2012 08:51:00 No. 11123347 Report >>11123335 Gunner's mate first class Phillip Asshole
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123340 Don't condense it, just pre-type it and post as quickly as possible.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
f5 f5 f5 f5 so much glory
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123335 look lord helmet, they're jamming our radar!
...strawberry, only one man could be evil enough to give me strawberry...
...LONE STAR!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
POST FASTER YOU FAT BEARDED BITCH!!!!
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK Mon 19 Mar 2012 08:54:00 No. 11123366 Report >>11123360 Raspberry, actually.
Anonymous
>>11123360 ITS THE RASPBERRY YOU ASSHOLE!
Anonymous
>>11123347 we only have the 5-inch starbursts.....
Anonymous
Quoted By:
surelyanonwilldeliver.jaypeegee
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122597 holy fuck that was me who posted that incoming
you made my fucking night for remembering
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123337 not a problem, im saving all the lulz
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11120650 >don't mind me, just watering my cunts Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11121125 I've never actually experienced the stereotypical New Yorker who is anti-gun. Everyone I show my moist nugget to is pretty interested in it and not judgmental at all
And I don't even live upstate, not the city either tho
Quoted By:
Fuck you guys, I haven't seen Spaceballs since 10th grade in Spanish class. For some reason, it was in English, uncensored.>canned air get
paris !JGpbUljp5U
"sir" "what?" "are we being too literal?" "no you fool we we're following orders, we were told to comb the desert so we're combing it." "FOUND ANYTHING YET?" "nothing yes sir!" "HOW ABOUT YOU?" "not a thing sir!" "WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?" "WE AINT FOUND SHIT."
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I know what I'm about to put on TV.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123382 Ryback can't answer the phone right now, he's in the middle of a gun fight.
Can I take a message?
SlavshitFag !f.0wTMEk6w
>out seeing a movie with some friends >decide to check out Dick's gun section afterwords >have my Gerber Para clipped on my back pocket >friends and i check out guns >dont really find anything, go to leave >walking back from car hear >"excuse me, what do you think youre doing?" >look around >see fat bitch with kid holding, i shit you not, a goddamn soccer ball >"are you talking to me?" >"yes im talking to you!" >"ok, what the hell do you want?" >"i want to know what you think youre doing!" >"im walking to a car with my friends, what does it matter to you?" >"im talking about that KNIFE youre carrying! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? THOSE ARE DANGEROUS" >"look, lady, the law states i can carry it, im not doing anything wrong, but youre crazy, and im going to go now" >she yells "HEY HEY STOP STOP HEY STOP" >fat bitch running at me and my friends >we ignore her and walk back to the car >she tries to physically stop us from leaving >get in car >she stands behind the damn car >she pulls out her phone and starts calling the cops >5 min later, cops show up >"THAT MAN IN THERE HAS A KNIFE" >"is that it?" >"YES" >talk to cop >knife is legal to carry, legal size, etc. >explain everything to him >she gets fined for wasting his time what fucking posses people to just go batshit insane?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 I'm gonna go smoke and if this god damn epic masterpiece of a story is not completed by the time I get back, my jimmies will indeed be rustled.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123366 >>11123368 hehehe just checking...
Anonymous
>>11123402 You fuckers. Hilarious stories AND spaceballs? How can I say no?
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK
that asshole that made people want to watch spaceballs !!HmthYYVMZTK Mon 19 Mar 2012 09:01:00 No. 11123424 Report Quoted By:
heading off to bed, will check on this thread come morning
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123411 I wish I knew... I really wish I fucking knew. It's like they literally have nothing better to do than fuck with you... jesus christ.
Anonymous
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123416 this gives me an idea.
tomorrow, we stream spaceballs.
Anonymous
>>11123432 100% for this. hopefully i'll be on when you do
Anonymous
>>11123432 You best do it nigger. I'll reenact the space alien scene at the diner with my penis if you don't.
Anonymous
>>11123340 >about four months later >Be inna court with friend >Softball Mom got herself a damn good defense because mom and dad had money. >She says he provoked her by fiddling with his Glock in its holster >Half the god damned dept. is there >They put her on the stand >Dad's lawyer starts questioning >OhBoyHereWeGo.jpg >Asks her why she assaulted an officer >"Because he was waving it around and threatening to shoot me with his weapon." >"Okay, why did you feel the need to run across 15 yards of grass and gravel to physically attack him instead of running into your home and calling the cops?" >"Because he said he would shoot me." >Lawyer wuts. >"You attacked him, head on, knowing full well he had the training and ability to draw and fire before you reached him?" >"Yes." >"Even though these photos prove otherwise." >Photos were of bro dad's foot prints in his gravel yard proving his walking pattern >ICanExplain.jpg >Lawyer's got her cornered. >LetMeTellYouWhyThat'sBullshit.jpg >Rips her a new one on stealing his firearm and not doing the rational thing. >Dept. bros are trying hard not to cheer >Jury rules guilty on counts of assault and theft.
Quoted By:
>>11123411 baby-seeking knives are dangerous, and you should be ashamed
of having not stabbed her soccerball.
Pop that shit.
That reminds me of a knife story.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123416 >BARF! >Not in here you don't mister, this is a Lexus! >No, thats my name! >What kind of a name is Barf? >I'm a mog! Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123440 >>11123438 it will probably be around 11 or 12 tomorrow, i have to download livestream podcaster and get someone to see how it works.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123443 americafuckyea.mp3
Anonymous
>>11123443 Itstimetostopposting.jpg
paris !JGpbUljp5U
Quoted By:
>>11123443 didn't get drug possession?
I CALL RETRIAL.
also, way to welcome the neighbors.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11123465 nope. Go back to bed.
Anonymous
>>11123452 you on eastern time?
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123478 yeah, it's 1:09 now, and i have to wake up early, so not tonight.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123465 >>11123471 >>11123475 proceed.avi
nope.jpg
aspie with a cool starry bra. missing however is LEO total lack of situational awareness. ride a desk for a few months rotate out maybe hang out at academy get his ass back in fighting form.
thanks tho
Anonymous
Quoted By:
but....but....this is so much fun.
nobody important
This happened to me right after I got my CWP.>CCing my Bersa Thunder 9. >Go to Wal-Mart for better clothing to CC with. >Wear a tshirt (A little small) >Get pants and a couple of shirts. >Go to food section. >Chips on the top shelf. >Fucking Doritos. >Reach up to get said chips. >Fucking butt showed. >Hipster employee comes around the corner and sees butt. >Hipster freaks out and runs to get manager. >Oh god here it comes. Continued
Anonymous
>go to friends in-laws house a few miles outside of town >they own about 30 acres of wooded property with a stream running through >stream has carved about a 30 foot drop down from their property, property line down the middle of stream and neighboring land is about the same elevation as stream. >sweet old partially collapsed barn with another tall cliff behind it for us to shoot at >clear brush to make a good opening to the barn to shoot through >hear kids playing down by the stream >"hey kids, we're going to be shooting some rifles up here so we think it would be safer if you left the area" >they are on friends in-laws side of the river anyways >watch them walk off to the house on the neighboring property >start shooting nuggets, psl, 12 gauge, .44 magnum and .22's at the old barn >20 minutes later get call from in-laws >there are several cops out in the driveway, you guys need to come out here >walk back up to the house, 3 cop cars in driveway >problem officers? >the neighbors over there said you guys were shooting while their kids were in the area >explain the situation, they want to see where we were shooting anyways >show them the area, we were even wearing safety glasses and ear plugs >all of the guns except one nugget are mine >oldest officer keeps eyeing them and the Ron Paul signs all over my Jeep >they are satisfied with all the safety precautions we've taken >just tell us to be safe and suggest calling the neighbors before we shoot next time to try and avoid the situation recurring. >continue fucking that barns shit up >good day >.gif related
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123493 understandable. i'll be sure to look out for you tomorrow
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123513 i can smell the cheese, hear the peasant cackling, and see the grease on the counter already.
Anonymous
>>11123443 >Two days later >Dad's at home resting >Friend and I go to the court to see the remainder of the case >They're discussing her possession of steroids and MJ. >She forwards this bullshit excuse about how it's for her headaches and shit. >Lawyers don't buy it one bit. >Arizona doesn't let you smoke weed or do roids for headaches >She loses her spot on the City team. >Guilty on charges of possession of Illegal substances >She starts balling again >Friend and I told to leave because we're laughing to loud. >She ends up serving about 65 years for all of it, no parole EVER. Later...
>Dad takes her back to court and sues her for damages and now HE has headaches >Sues her good >Gets about 1.1M USD from her >Friend gets paid through college >Dad retires early >Pays off all bills >Buys new car, gun safe. >Already had his Class 3 and FFL >Buys automatics for shits 'n giggles now that he has the money >Gives rest to Police dept and sets up a trust fund for grand kids when they arrive. Anonymous
>>11123518 >>11123518 >(appear to) be male >lean like a girl Lol
>be highschool artfag >have art project, involves lots of detailed cutting >ask teacher to borrow one of her good exacto knives, since mine's shit >teacher's cool with it >sign it out n shit >lots of students do the same >put it in binder with art shit, continue through day as usual >go home >do project >enjoy making art, success >pack things for tomorrow >vidyagames, then sleep >next day, go to school >security check at doors >hand over bookbag, walk through sensor >knife is in my binder, not on person >newguy on the job >THERE IS A KNIFE IN HERE CODE RED >CODE FUCKING RED >school goes into lockdown >woah bro >send me to office with two guards >parents are called >locker is searched >"it's for an art project, I signed it out and brought it back" >art teacher is called down >art teacher rips new security guard a new one >other guards thought it was an actual knife from the way he acted, didn't question it >guy gets fired >all is well I loved art class.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123527 at what point does the dinosaur enter and Bel Air become the setting?
Anonymous
>>11123527 >bitch is stupid enough to assault a police officer >has a million dollars Seems fishy to me
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123535 a normal-looking blond twink and an assault rifle.. what else does one need
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123527 This is all I ever wanted in a greentext story :D
Could someone re screen-cap the story with the extra stuff?
Anonymous
>>11123518 I've never seen a guy lean like that, girls always do that shit.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123402 >>11123402 >>11123402 did you guys know that the "we aint found shit" guy is Tuvok from Star Trek Voyager?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123535 Hey, I have only been able to shoot outside 3 times before and that was my first time shooting the 7.62x54r cartridge, cut me a little slack
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123536 >mfw my art school gave me a box of xactos they didnt need Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123549 Would have to sell house and things if she couldn't come up with it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Be shooting on the farm with my Chinese m14 >Finish shooting and cleaned up my shit, go in the living room to watch TV >See cop car going around the neighbourhood >ohboy.jpg >2 more cars show up >Show them my ID and PAL >The conservation officer gives me shit saying how if I missed the 30 foot sand berm i could hit hit some one. Even when its just fields and woods behind it >Nod and agrees >They told me a neighbor called and was concerned that a bullet might hit the berm and ricochet and hit his house >He was concerned a bullet might bounce off the berm and hit his house 1.5 km away >Counties to call the police every time He hears shots >Its been 2 years now and I got to know the police in my area pretty well
bowtie !lvh0ucuLHw
Quoted By:
>>11123556 thats 54R in semi auto.
i'd lean too. unless you guys are talking bout how he leaned backwards before even taking a shot
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11122156 was this when the ramen-werfer was discussed?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123239 they aren't socialists. socialists' goal is to pool resources to distribute to the greater good. has fuck all to do with any of this non-socioeconomic bullshit. these people are just plain retards.
nobody important
>>11123513 >Manager comes over (That was quick) >Show me your CWP. >LOL nope. >Manager denies me from leaving area. >Has hipster worker call cops. >Shit. >Cops come and takes me outside. >Go outside escorted by cops. >Cops ask if I have CWP. >Show CWP. >Cops start to leave. >Manager starts yelling that there's a no weapons sign on the door. In SC the sign HAS to be 8x11. His was nowhere close.
>Cops inform him of the law. >Manager keeps yelling telling them that he is going to sue. >Cops laugh and threaten to arrest him. >Buy my things and go home. Not too bad. But my only story.
Anonymous
>>11123581 lucky you didn't lose your license for failing to conceal, and that you didn't get e. coli from consuming any food product cooked at Wally World
Anonymous
>Shooting in State Forest >The pit we are in is actually marked by the rangers specifically for shooting, and has various gun safety signs on trees and such. >Group of female hikers runs up to us >In the middle of shooting, they did not even notify or yell at us they just ran up to say something while the range was hot. >They obviously went over a mile out of their way to talk to us, the hiking trails are nowhere near the shooting pit/off-road trails area we are in. >Middle aged hipster female taps on my shoulder and asks for my permit. >Point to my discover pass (state park pass) hanging in my truck. >"No, for your weapons" >Try to explain you don't need a permit or license to own or operate a firearm in the state of Washington. >She won't let me finish sentence. >Yells that I am going to kill someone or myself. >Her friends starts whining and screaming that she has already called the cops. >My friend calls the non-emergency line at the same time. >Cops tell my friends a state patrol SUV will be up there in 15 minutes (rangers were over an hour away). >State Patrol K-9 SUV rolls up. >Cop almost completely ignores us and has the dog check their packs. >Dog sits. >Cop searches bags and finds weed, meth, and a few pill bottles. >He explains to me that he's busted these people before for drug possession, compliments my 870 and tells me I am good to carry on. >Everythingwentbetterthenexpected.jpeg
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123549 You clearly have never been to the entirety of Oregon or California, Chicago, Detroit, NYC, Buffalo, Charlotte, the entirety of New Hampshire, etc etc etc.
There are PLENTY of people who have money but no common sense. Hell there are millionaires that aren't even aware they're SUBJECT to all the laws, cuz rich.
And then there's the possibility of various insurances paying on her behalf--homeowner's, general liability, etc etc.
Anonymous
>>11123581 Everytime i see one of those signs i check, and they always say "no concealed weapons"
>mfw i can open carry ar15 at the public library if i want Anonymous
Anonymous
>>11123593 >>11123581 >>11123411 WHY DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THESE COCKSUCKERS?
You seem the type to immediately entrap yourselves, waive Miranda, and create more shit than you're being baited to get into.
Ignore them. If it gets physical, defend yourself.
No one has ever gotten in trouble for keeping their mouth shut.
nobody important
>>11123592 Cops did warn me. And the Doritos were bagged food. I would never buy any food from them.
Anonymous
>>11123625 >No one has ever gotten in trouble for keeping their mouth shut. except for those POW's that won't talk.. they get in trouble
>>11123563 That same teacher let a couple of other kids n' myself take home the paint and general supplies that would be thrown away for replacing at the end of the year. I left that day with two gallons of paint, (high quality acrylics, mix n match) at least a twenty decent brushes, shitloads of paper, and a full set of used, but not unusable, prismacolor pencils. We had worked on a massive mural all semester for the school gym, she passed us with perfect grades, and knew that the supplies wouldn't go to waste with us.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123640 Don't get shot down or outflanked.
First unwritten rule of SERE.
nobody important
>>11123625 I just told my rights, nothing more.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123636 Cool cops. Those Doritos motherfucking better best been those Cool Ranch flavored ones.
BroCops4Life !yV1dD/fQh6
>>11123527 >>11123443 >>11123283 >>11123196 >>11123099 >>11123032 >>11122902 Wow, I took up more posts then I though...
>can not into copy & paste from notepad. Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123618 >618 >61+8=69 >6/9=.666 >mfw devilpost Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123603 >Im in Florida >I see those signs >Not give a fuck because the worst that the business can do is tell you to leave assuming that they actually notice. >MFW Upstanding African American Citizen !NpQNoGunZ.
Upstanding African American Citizen !NpQNoGunZ. Mon 19 Mar 2012 09:34:00 No. 11123688 Report Quoted By:
>somethingsomething rangesomethingshootingsomething >somethingsomethingcrazy liberal something screamssomethingbabykillingsomethingLETMESEYOURPERMIT >somethingsomethingpolice >somethingsomethinglib=buttfrustrated >somethingthreatened with wasting something's time something >continue to somethingsomething for the rest of the something >MFW fucking soccermoms
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123653 >>11123653 "Manager denies me from leaving area."
Get a lawyer for look into whatever state statutes reference elements of false imprisonment.
Fuck that asshole wannabe with a dry dick
Anonymous
>Go to bass pro shop range connected to shopping mall (most convenient range in suburbia) >Dad is inexperienced with his firearms/etiquette >pro shop puts their trigger locks on your guns so you can carry them through the store to the range where they will be removed. >In store, Dad takes 1911 out of range bag >Takes gun off the counter to unlock it >Sweeping the living shit out of soccer mom with stroller 12ft away at the store entrance. >Its a sissy stainless 1911, easily identifiable as a gun by a soccer mom >shit is flipped >runs out of store screaming with kids >nudge my dad to put the weapon back on the counter which keeps it semi-out of sight (c'mon man, we're in a mall in Illinois) type of thing. >Old guy who checks the weapons in laughs it off >Leaving range 1+ hrs later > 5 cops outside the store >feelsbadman.jpeg Dads. AMIRIGHT?
nobody important
Quoted By:
>>11123603 In SC the sigh HAS to be a certain size to be considered legal. If not then the owner of the business can only deny your business, nothing else.
SlavshitFag !f.0wTMEk6w
>>11123625 dude, chill the fuck out.
how the fuck am i supposed to know some fat bitch is going to go psycho? and people dont just leave you alone because you ignore them, i tried to ignore her, and just leave, and she then went and physically prevented me and my friends from leaving til the cops showed up.
paris !JGpbUljp5U
>>11123643 nice, at my old art school, we had full use of table saws, grinding wheels, every hand/ powertool you could think of, and full access to an art studio, which was basically sherwin williams coupled with every bit of piping and material you could imagine.
but for a schools art class, you had it made.
>that feel when the state payed for 3x what a normal public school kid needs during k-12 in my 4 years at that art school. IPlayAirshitOnWeekends !yV1dD/fQh6
Anonymous
>>11123188 anon, I too live in college town, attending uni, in shitty apartment, and am contemplating getting cz82 for carry/defense reasons. would you recommend it for the aforementioned duties? have a 9mm 1911 that pulls my pants down when I carry it, so can't carry that bitch. can you readily get 9x18's?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>be a senior in high school >take new Criminal Justice class >teacher is a bro-tier cop from Houston >all kinds of crazy stories (some hilarious, some sad) >firearms are discussed often >a rather unintelligent blonde makes a comment about clips >five of us (including the teacher) say "they're magazines" at the same exact fucking time >our faces when
Anonymous
>>11123700 when they get physical and your ability to defend yourself enters the picture... justifying your display/carry of a self-defensive weapon.
you man the fuck up... and stop "reporting" to people just because they demand shit without any cause or authority to do so. block me and my friends from walking.. i walk around you. you obstruct my traffic, i drive around. you touch me, i defend myself.
whether that ends with you in a pool of blood is up to you.
I don't owe anyone an explanation unless its a lawful request by a sworn officer of the law.
Anonymous
>>11123719 >have a 9mm 1911 that pulls my pants down when I carry it, so can't carry that bitch What you should be getting is a fucking leather belt, a holster, and some goddamn self respect.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123719 its a little heavy, not as heavy as a 1911 though. i liked it personally, most website have em for ~$200 (check out Wideners, they usually have em) and i had no problem finding 9x18 rounds at my local shops.
It was a little bulky, but not to the point where it was unbearable. If you have a proper belt it shouldnt be a problem.
As far as holsters go, just go to a shop that has a large selection and try ever one out. And if it fits a CZ83, it will fit the 82, which makes online shopping a LOT easier as theres not a lot of places that sell 82 holsters, but 83 ones are out there.
For $200 you really cant go wrong, i love it.
Anonymous
>>11123739 I think you're underestimating how satisfying watching someone be righteously cockslapped by the long dick of the law is. ESPECIALLY when they think theyre in the right.
Quoted By:
>>11123703 God damn, you must have gone to heaven for an education. I am drooling jelly here.
I still haven't used up all of that paper, the pencils are still great, and most of the paint is still usable, years later.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Dad is from Pennylvania >was never into guns >slowly teaching him state and federal laws Feels good, man. I raged when he asked me if I had to carry around proof that my rifle really was mine, but that was over a year ago and he has improved since then.
Anonymous
SlavshitFag !f.0wTMEk6w
>>11123739 i dont think you get it, if somebody hits me, shits going down, but if theyre just being annoying im not going to punch them, and im sure as hell not going to have my buddy back up a car with a person behind it.
Bitch got what she deserved, a nice ticket for a bullshit call, im not going to "defend" myself from somebody who isnt even a threat.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123692 >dad, my friend, and i are at the range >shooting 1911s in 2 stalls >dad wants me to try his out, finish the magazine >instead of laying it on bench, walking up to me during a reload, letting me know, etc. >walks up to me while I'm loading a magazine >with his 1911 in hand >loaded >finger on trigger >safety off >pointed at me >DEFCON >"HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT THAT DOWN DON'T POINT IT AT ME" >"Son I wanted you to-" >"DON'T POINT A GUN AT ME" Few years later her gets arrested for illegally carrying a pistol, committed to a mental hospital for suicidal thoughts, and now can't own a gun for a few years. Problem was, my AR15 was in the safe at the time. Hopefully when he gets them back he'll be a bit safer this time around.
Anonymous
>>11123792 i'm with you... just rather let the ocifer do the talking...
i don't give these brainwashed drones the satisfaction of arguing with them.
Anonymous
>>11123812 Miss.
Afraid 'tis you of whom is the not of the getting of "it."
Don't talk to them. Don't provoke them.
When ready, leave, if they get in the way, see
>>11123739 Cool story on the possession and self-righteous hypocrite junkie. I can smell the dreds from here.
SlavshitFag !f.0wTMEk6w
>>11123834 they think theyre in the right and that youre crazy, and by arguing with them, in their mind it proves you, and people like you, are crazy.
then they call the cops, cops show up, and tell them how thats bullshit
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123861 you will lose the battle arguing with fanatics
Anonymous
My only soccer mom related story. No real rage or anything.>Go to HR after returning to a job after a year and a half halfway across the country trying my hand as a ranch hand to fill out application to get old job back. >One of the ladies I was friendly with asked what I did in my spare time out there. >I told her if I wasn't out hunting coyote or coon I was target shooting. >She asks if I still have them >I say yes. >She asks why >I reply, because I find shooting them on the range to be relaxing, prefer it over hunting actually. >She shrugs says they are dangerous >I say its no more dangerous then driving a car or crossing the street. >She dismisses me, I get the job back regardless of her disagreeing with me on guns. >MFW everything went better then expected
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123905 how many times did ya stem the rose?
SlavshitFag !f.0wTMEk6w
>>11123854 >dont talk to them you dont know what they want until you do talk to them
>dont provoke them YOU DONT SAY
>when ready, leave like i said, im not running a bitch over, are you retarded?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123974 lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas.
have fun.. but please obtain some reading comprehension. sleep well
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123283 >>11123283 >>11123283 >>11123283 >>11123283 >>11123283 NO YOU DUMB FUCKING NIGGER.
SAND NIGGER
SAND NIGGGER.
SAND NIGGER
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123188 what happened when you shot him? where did you shoot him and what did he do?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123527 >Gets about 1.1M USD from her No he didn't.
>Already had his Class 3 and FFL Do you know how I know this story is bullshit?
Anonymous
>Live in Canada >Dad owns guns >Moms family doesn't like guns but shes fine with my dad and I owning them >Most of my friends own guns >Most of my co-workers own guns >Never been hassled by soccer moms >Never been hassled by police >My boss hassles me over being an "IPSC weenie" because I don't shoot BP and own "tactical" firearms. >Once I went to a house party and this wierd guy that lived there was really keen about showing everone his SKS, tactical vest and knife collection. >Everyone goes upstairs and ooos and aaaahs >Douchebag blurts out "what do you need a gun for anyways?" >I say "well how else are you going to shoot things?" >Wierd guy smiles, some people chuckle, douchebag gets asspained and shuts up. >Night proceeds as normal. >Did I say I lived in Canada? >What I meant is that I live in MOTHERFUCKING ALBERTA
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>11123183 >>11123178 >>11123163 >>11123150 feral humans prove humans are just animals.
good job on Darwin awarding her, assuming she had no other children, and won't procreate anymore.
Anonymous
Czech-Texan !!8jJB7n5v2/7
>on grandpa's 300 acre land in San Saba, TX >out at fence by the road, checking it because cows got out the last night; all the while carrying my Remington 1100 in .410 because Copperheads are common >enjoying the fuck out of the central Texas weather and landscape >see Copperhead, face away from the road, make sure there's nothing behind my target I don't want to shoot, etc. >shoot. at the same time, a Ford Explorer goes by >it stops and backs up to me, see the Jew York plate >fat bitch steps out. "WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN?! YOU'RE JUST A KID!" (I was 17 but I looked like I was 14 and still do) >"Ma'am, there is nothing in Texas law that says that a minor can't have a gun if the property owner gives permission. The property owner is my grandfather" >she waddles across the cattle guard >"Ma'am, please get off the property." >"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME YOUR GUN SO I CAN TURN IT IN!" (she actually said this) >I must've wtf so hard, my grandpa could sense it because here he comes in his truck >grandpa steps out with his 1911 he carries around on while on the ranch (he's a big Irish guy with arms the diameter of a truck tire. he was born in Texas, but both parents were 100% Irish) >"HE HAS A GUN TOO?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU HICKS?!" >grandpa takes a look at fatty and says, "I coulda swore I put a Cattle Guard there so cows couldn't cross over..." >burst out laughing, fat bitch gets mad and bitch slaps me >grandpa's Irish blood starts to boil, the ground shakes, Irish folk music resonates in the background, his hair turns red and he transforms into a Super Irishman >just kidding continued
Anonymous
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>>11124084 shit i live in alberta and most people are astounded by the fact i own guns. they get all wide eyed and go, "REALLY?", and the people that do own guns have old .303s or 30-30s use them a couple times a year for hunting and ive been asked twice if my cz 858 was airsoft.
Czech-Texan !!8jJB7n5v2/7
>>11124292 >he gets furious, pulls out his 1911 and screams, "I SHOULD SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW FOR TOUCHING MY GRANDSON! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY, YOU GREASY, YANKEE PIECE OF SHIT!" >stumbles across the cattle guard and gets in her SUV >"She's gunna get the Sheriff, Pawpaw. We should wait here." >20 minutes later, here comes the Sheriff and his partner with the SUV >"Mac, this here lady said you pulled a gun on her, is this true?" >"Yes, Joel. She stepped over onto my property and hit my grandson" >I say, "Yeah, there was a Copperhead and I shot it, she drove by as I did so, everything else that happened is as my Pawpaw said" >show him the corpse of the Copperhead and the scratches on my cheek from the bitch's nails >he cuffs Shamoo >grandpa and I decided not to press charges but fatty still spends a day in jail >San Saba, fuck yeah Anonymous
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bumpin with dragon dildo defense
Anonymous
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>>11124292 >>11124304 I laughed pretty hard.
Anonymous
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Something my friend told me from Alert Bay, a little fishing village that's 95% natives off the coast of BC, Canada. Town is enforced by a detachment of ~10 RCMP for a few hundred natives, as per usual native towns, crime is heavy and drunken. Officers shipped in from out of town. >called in for domestic disturbance (happens every night, multiple times) >2 officers get out of car >drunken native bitch charges them with a knife >out of surprise, she manages to slash one of them while his partner mag dumps on her >rest of RCMP detachment has to come out in force to fend off rabid drunken native mob that forms afterwards, patrol in force and bring in more officers and the heavy gear cause the native animals were being extremely aggressive and confrontational towards the police for "murdering their sister">despite the fact that 2 or more native wimminz get stabbed to death annually in the shithole by other natives
Anonymous
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>Be in California >Be in San Francisco >Be at San Francisco State University >Be in English 214 >Liberal English professor begins conversation about guns >Initiate brainwashing >Kindly and calmly, opposing side presented >Ignored cause GUNZ R BAED! >Gun owners are murderers! >I own a gun. >Suddenly, a wild soccer mom appears! >MURDERER! >Followed by a group of wild hipsters! >GUNZ R BAED! >Kindly and calmly explain >Despite being in the military for 5 years, I've never killed anyone >Never even pointed a loaded gun at a person >BABY KILLER! >Professor calms his flock >I Mention bill of rights >Professor tells class I am hell bent on the destruction of America >Remind college professor how America was founded >WE HAEV EVOLVED FROM THEN! >I inform class that a gun is a tool >Like a hammer >Proceed to tell detailed plan on how someone could kill the whole class with a hammer >Arrive first >Attack by surprise >Kill one at a time as they entered class room >Chairs move away >The person controls the tool, not the other way around >Professor evil eyes >I smirk >Tell professor that if guns go around killing people, then my computer is why my last paper had so many errors >My pencil caused my low score on the quiz >And my car is to blame for me being late to class >Professor attempts to move on >Mention plans to go shooting this weekend >Soccer mom screams "WHERE? I DON'T WANT TO BE SHOT! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME!!" >Sigh...
Anonymous
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>>11121421 Triangle reporting in. I sell at the flea market at the state fairgrounds on occasion. There are guys there who sell knives and nothing else. One weekend, I was setup next to one of them and, I shit you not, 7 people came up and asked if it was legal to sell KNIVES. One even came with the security guard. ALL OF MY WAT.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>be in highschool in NYC in 2003 >one of the worst schools in the city 8% white out of 4,000, 60% dropout rate that year 20%teen pregnancy that year >have history of being fucked with for being white, already been jumped and stabbed before >uncles a detective 1st rank so helps pulls some strings and helps me get paperwork to legally carry around mace underage, gives me his pba card as well and tells me I should probably get a knife, I take his advice and buy a small folding knife from chinatown >every morning I have to show the double digit iq redguard security my permit for the mace because "mayb it expyrd 2day" >they never learn I have a knife because the metal detector goes off for the mace already >I'm eventually known as "dat pussy asz wyt boi wit mace" even by the teachers >black philisophy teacher with a hard on for malcolm x berates me for carrying the mace, asking me why I don't feel safe in a "learning environment" >bite my tongue because I know I can't win Cont.
Anonymous
>>11125644 >time passes, the guards get lax on me and most people eventually accept me >philo teacher and his black panther brethren in the phys ed. Department still shit on me, even more so once I made the basketball team >we play our rival school and they decide to jump us in the locker room after we win >we're outnumbered 3:1 >grab my keys (mace is on the keychain), and my knife >start spraying mace everywhere and flailing my shitty little 4in knife around like crazy >they break rank and rush the exit of the lockerroom, coaches start bugging out trying to find out what the fuck is happening when they see me running out after them in my boxers with mace and a knife Cont.
Anonymous
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>>11125721 Bumping for morning/daytime /k/, with a plea for continue.
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>11125721 bump for continue.