/k/ - Weapons » Thread #15665672

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:05:12 No.15665672 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>15665858 >>15665949 >>15667469 >>15667897 >>15668016 >>15668033 >>15669200 >>15672083 >>15672443 >>15672798 >>15673511

Now that the kiddies are going to bed, Let's have a good old-fashioned war stories thread. Anything and Everything, if it happened while you were in, I want to hear it.

>Be me, 2008, Afganiland
>Have to go talk to one of the ANA sergeants for some shit or another
>Knock on his door
>2 men and a kid walk out
>Wondering what the hell just happened
>ANA guy calls me in, adjusting his belt as I come in
>Bring it up with some of my buddies, Tells me that they'd been fucking the kid, we all have a good laugh

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:14:30 No.15665858 Report

Quoted By: >>15665902 >>15665943 >>15665997 >>15668251 >>15673511

>>15665672
Does that really happen?
I've heard stories, but I'd always passed them off as tall tales...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:17:08 No.15665902 Report

Quoted By: >>15667697

>>15665858
children in the shitholes of the world being treated like chattel? yes... yes that happens

⑨mm !!d3+8gNQclt9

⑨mm !!d3+8gNQclt9 Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:19:17 No.15665943 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665858
You don't watch much VICE guide do you?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:19:33 No.15665949 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
>>Bring it up with some of my buddies, Tells me that they'd been fucking the kid, we all have a good laugh

Rape/abuse has a way to bring cultures together, doesn't it?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:21:26 No.15665989 Report

Quoted By: >>15668556 >>15671459

bumping with story time from russia

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:21:49 No.15665997 Report

Quoted By: >>15669626 >>15669693

>>15665858

Lemme put it this way. Dudes in afghanistan would rather fuck a boy or an animal than a woman.

On a similar note, an afghan security dude in one of our towers was bragging about banging his 11 year old wife.

Sick shit happens in the world.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:58:15 No.15666665 Report

Quoted By: >>15666692

War stories, eh?
I always enjoyed it when the new bloods complain about how hot and heavy our plate carriers are. Gave me an opportunity to tell my story about how I got shot in the chest.
I suppose that after telling you that much, I've got to tell you the whole thing. Let me get a drink and I'll type it up.

Feelguy

Feelguy Mon 08 Apr 2013 07:59:30 No.15666692 Report

Quoted By: >>15666926

>>15666665
Bet that shut them up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:05:54 No.15666803 Report

Quoted By: >>15668288

On behalf of my buddy.

> Deployed Inna-Iraq
> Early morning mission to ride convoy out to supply some Muhreens.
> Driving with no lights, when starting taking fire.
>Lead truck goes down, dismount and cover AoR's.
> Sound of fire sounds huge.. Like heavy gun huge.
> Realize they are taking fire from a .50.
> Get on the radio for cease fire.
> Takes seven minutes for it to get to the Army guys engaging them from the other road leading into the town.
> Only time he got shot at on that deployment was by the Army.
> Muhreen Stronk.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:13:39 No.15666926 Report

Quoted By: >>15666983 >>15668118 >>15669454

>>15666692
Sure as hell.

>Be me, October 17, 2004, Fallujah
>Clearing houses and shit
>Finish the house we were one, move into an alley to get to the next
>I'm the lucky bastard on point
>Raghead peeks around a corner, sees us, lets off a burst of PKM fire and ducks back around the corner
>I take a couple to the chest, get knocked on my ass
>Raghead decides to come back for sloppy seconds, gets lit up
>I decide that a couple of broken ribs is nothing and go back to clearing houses
>Sergeant says 'Fuck that, you're going back and getting checked out'
>Flip him the bird, head back to base

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:17:08 No.15666983 Report

Quoted By: >>15667139

>>15666926
As much as 3 broken ribs sucked, at least I wasn't the one that found a dshk pointed at the door while clearing houses.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:26:20 No.15667139 Report

Quoted By:

>>15666983
>at least I wasn't the one that found a dshk pointed at the door while clearing houses.
W-what? Holy fuck, did he died?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:35:09 No.15667272 Report

Quoted By: >>15667612 >>15669416 >>15669648

(second-hand, from a guy I work with)

>he's inna Iraq
>goes to some market and Iraqis are selling bootleg Game Boy games
>they are always "400 games in 1" or "1001 games in 1" or "999 games in 1"
>some arbitrary number "___ games in 1"
>most of them just cause the Game Boy to crash
>one day, sees a legit looking Pokemon Silver
>identical looking box and everything
>buys it
>puts it in his Game Boy and starts playing
>it's just Super Mario Bros. (the one for NES) with Pikachu instead of Mario

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:47:31 No.15667434 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 08:50:09 No.15667469 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
I just have my father's stories. sorry. None of my own.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:00:25 No.15667608 Report

Quoted By: >>15667636 >>15667693 >>15667990 >>15668035 >>15668354 >>15668631 >>15669472 >>15671335 >>15676032

Pops story

>1960's
>be marine radio operator
>tell CO you want a rifle because fuck just having a .45
>qualify expert
>m16 next day onnajeep
>Get to Nam
>small as country the helo that dropped you off was flown by a kid you were in boot with
>shafted straight to FOB with unit
>4AM patrol around fence
>dead outside not even a fucking chucklefuck taking potshots at the guards from a few hundred meters out
>Gotta piss have a smoke while you piss on a tree
>flashlight is off but moon is bright and full
>patrol buddy is loading a spare mag while you piss
>see innawoods a couple gooks
>tuck dick away and back away from woods
>take cover behind a couple sandbags
>call it in movement on southern border of fence
>friendlies outside fence requesting assistance
>spotlights flare up and shine into the woods
>dad lobs a grenade as well as his buddy
>grenades go off and a hail of gunfire ensues
>.50 is mowing down the treeline and a couple m60s are cleaning up the stumps
>ceasefire
>no movement
>sunrise investigating damage
>no one was hurt
>the gooks in the woods were all found dead
>10 total, no bullet wounds
>my dads grenade and his buddies grenade killed them
>everything else was just wasted ammo
>he said the only thing more exciting was when some kid tripped out on acid and bum rushed into a tunnel and wasn't seen until 2 weeks later and he had 56 severed thumbs with him

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:00:49 No.15667612 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667272
i would pay money for that conversion

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:03:25 No.15667636 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608
thats a lot of thumbs

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:08:27 No.15667693 Report

Quoted By: >>15667721

>>15667608
>>he said the only thing more exciting was when some kid tripped out on acid and bum rushed into a tunnel and wasn't seen until 2 weeks later and he had 56 severed thumbs with him
Holy shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:08:32 No.15667695 Report

Quoted By: >>15667872

Story from my cousin
>inna Vietnam
>be door gunner
>helicopter goes down
>dismount m60
>pilot and 2nd door gunner are okay, copilot is fucked up
>hump over 20 clicks through woods
>didn't see a single fucking gook
>4-5 clicks from base
>see a jeep
>signal them down
>get told that you just humped through one of the most gook infested areas
>get engaged from all sides
>20 of my cousins 160 confirmed kills weren't even in a helicopter

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:08:48 No.15667697 Report

Quoted By: >>15669478

>>15665902
its mostly those Pashtuns, they love their little boys but will murder you for being openly gay.

i remember reading some articles about female medics in A-stan having to explain basic sex-ed to married couples since the man had no concept what the vagina was for and couldnt figure out why they were having trouble making a kid through anal sex.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:11:48 No.15667721 Report

Quoted By: >>15667751 >>15667811

>>15667693
Yeah from what my dad told me, the kid had got lost after he came down from his trip and ended up mapping a good portion of the tunnel system and the 56 men he killed were all found in the tunnels, all missing thumbs. My dad said he hated being in the fucking tunnels.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:14:23 No.15667751 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667721

>56 thumbs from 56 different people

Sweet holy baby jesus.
That guy just got 2x more awesome than originally thought.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:20:53 No.15667811 Report

Quoted By: >>15667953 >>15673875

>>15667721
Was in the left hand thumbs or the right hand thumbs?

Did he get any medal? That medal of honor citation
After tripping on LSD pvt Awesome found himself lost in a VC tunnel network. He then then proceeded to map a good part of the tunnel providing valuable intel as well as killing multiple enemies and taking their thumbs as trophies

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:27:20 No.15667872 Report

Quoted By: >>15667979 >>15668551

>>15667695
>160
that's quite an honor guard...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:29:20 No.15667897 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
That fucking picture, that is an Australian soldiers mentality in a fucking nutshell

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:30:29 No.15667912 Report

Quoted By: >>15668602 >>15671561 >>15672182

Grandpa told me this before he passed away
>ww2
>DDay
>rushed the fucking beach
>he said he was running so fast that by the time he got to the barbed wire he realized no one was around him from his unit
>said he lobbed a grenade into a bunker and a dirty kraut flew out and splattered all over some poor medic hiding behind a pile of sand
>said once they took the beach he got to burn the last few krauts out of the bunkers
>said he threw a thermite grenade into a concrete MG nest because that's all he had
>fucking poor bastard came running out on fire with thermite burning through him
>he remembers making a giant mound with the dead Germans
> Found some nice leather boots on one bastard that had a diary and some photos of a beautiful kraut girl
>got a nice switchblade and a grenade off of another
>held up in a small French town
>3 units were all surrounded by Germans
>they hid in a basement for 2 weeks
>they had patrols that would scavenge at night
>one night he is rummaging through a burnt down bar
>fucking Kraut officer out for a drive
>the officer stops for something and gets out of his car
>snuck up behind him and slit his throat from ear to ear
>got 3 bottles of vodka and a bunch of food
>the officer was going to take the shit to his men
>stick the kraut back in the car and push it behind the bar
>men are all okay
>the krauts are pulling out
>launch an offensive as they leave the city
>4 dead Americans and 32 dead krauts later
>find some plans for offensive
>counter offensive
>178 confirmed kills later
>my grandfather returns home from the war

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:32:47 No.15667940 Report

Quoted By:

>be my dad's good friend
>be radio operator innaNam
>be wounded and stuck in rice paddy for the night
>pray entire night
>make hundreds of promises to God, including asking woman he was dating before he shipped out to marry him
>inna morning he is rescued
>goes home, marries woman, she later leaves him and takes everything

Such is life

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:33:59 No.15667953 Report

Quoted By: >>15667998

>>15667811
Not sure which hand, my dad said he got shipped back stateside after the incident because the tunnels and acid must have fucked with his head, probably got medals for something

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:35:45 No.15667979 Report

Quoted By: >>15668088 >>15668290

>>15667872
Yeah he shot himself 3 years ago after his cunt wife left him. Took the kids, the house, his business, even the dog. Never liked talking much about the war

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:37:14 No.15667990 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608
56 FUCKING THUMBS?!?!? THERE IS NO FACE THAT PORTRAYS WHAT I AM FEELING

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:38:43 No.15667998 Report

Quoted By: >>15668026 >>15668078 >>15668090

>>15667953
What did he have for weapons?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:40:57 No.15668016 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
June 2008
We respond to 2 nd platon troop in contact call.
In the back of the MRAP standing and getting ready for ramp drop
MRAP hits a pot hole and i go into the ceiling.
M4 follows the upward thrust into my face and knocks my teeth out.
Come to seconds later and spit my fronts out.
Spend the rest of the day with the grunts, LT, the beeb kids of Qarguli village lolling at me.
Moral of the story......always buckle up.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:41:40 No.15668023 Report

Quoted By: >>15668043 >>15668181 >>15668217 >>15668387 >>15673463

>Be dad
>Be complete POG inna Marines
>Be 1991
>Inna Iraq
>Have to haul in supplies to some Tank unit
>Get there and hunker down for the night
>3AM rolls around
>BOOM
>Everybody bricks
>Dad grabs M16 and struggles to get outta sleeping back
>Commotion dies down
>No enemy fire, one casualty
>Some tanker crew walked out into the desert to piss
>Stepped on an anti-tank mine
>Only bits and pieces of him are left
>Dad's POG unit collects all they can and bag the guy
>They leave the next morning
>Dad's Face when he had to sit next to Napoleon Blown-a-part on the way back

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:41:51 No.15668026 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667998
Im guessing a knife...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:42:16 No.15668033 Report

Quoted By: >>15668116

>>15665672
>My dad mentions in passing that his father was a pilot in the RCAF during WWII
>Get all stoked, I never knew this
>I inquire about it, wondering if there are any cool stories or anything from the experience
>He was stationed in like Burma or some shit like that and just chilled for like 6 years
That's about it. Now he's a funny old racist Scotsman who lives to golf.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:42:33 No.15668035 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608
>he said the only thing more exciting was when some kid tripped out on acid and bum rushed into a tunnel and wasn't seen until 2 weeks later and he had 56 severed thumbs with him

Lol, there are pretty crazy badass motherfuckers in Vietnam.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:43:15 No.15668043 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668023
>Napoleon Blown-a-part

Thunderr300

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Thunderr300 Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:44:49 No.15668055 Report

Quoted By: >>15668153 >>15669066

A buddy of mine that was in 10th Mountain told me this story after he got back from Afghanistan...
>Be in Afghanistan
>Be in some Hajji's house
>The interpreter and the Hajji that owns the house are talking, he and his buddies are standing with them in the living room
>6 year old kid walks in from another room
>Shoots his father( the Hajji that the terp was talking to ) in the head twice with a Tokarev
>Soldier tackles the kid, and gets the gun from him, then clears the weapon
>After they gain control of the situation, the terp talks to the kid
>MFW he says the kid shot his dad because he was fucking him and beating his mom.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:47:13 No.15668078 Report

Quoted By: >>15668112 >>15668124 >>15674194

>>15667998
Well this is how my dad had heard it and what he remembers from that night

>a bunch of guys inna tent hanging out
>one kid is breaking out some drugs
>sold some pot and acid
>next day the unit is patrolling
>kid put the tabs he bought in his helmet
>forgot about them
>sweating and mumbling
>said he tossed his pack and gun down for a breather
>someone finds a trap door for one of the tunnels they had been searching for
>kid supposedly just walked over with just his sidearm a knife and a light and the acid kicked in
>he screamed jumped in the hole and into the darkness he went

I guess they had looked in the tunnels for a couple days but came up empty handed. From what my dad said the kid found an exit from the tunnels a few hundred yards from the FOB.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:48:54 No.15668088 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667979

All of my rage.....

May he rest in peace....

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:49:03 No.15668090 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667998
I'm picturing Brock Samson's knife.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:51:12 No.15668112 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668078
Haha
>forgot about acid

Probably fucked him up more than they could figure out back then.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:51:52 No.15668116 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668033
My grandpa was army intelligence in Burma, had his own little army of ghurkas that he ordered around. Mainly hunted jap forward observers. He never talked about Burma much, and I regret not asking. I have a pic of a Jap officer saluting him as he walked by, and he told me he had a pet monkey given to him by a B-25 crew when they left. Everyone hated that fucking monkey. They used to give it beer so itd pass out and shut up. You guys heard of Col. Peter Dewey? Google him, first KIA of vietnam. He was with my grandpa the day he died. They were waiting for a plane or boat or something when Dewey decided to go back to the house for something to eat. Grandpa said he wasnt missing his ride home for anything. He was mistaken for a Frenchman and the natives opened up with an MG.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:52:13 No.15668118 Report

Quoted By: >>15668143 >>15668144

>>15666926

I remember this story. You posted it in a thread about being shot; said you took a few from a PKM to the plate carrier. Glad you made it back alive.

From my old man's Navy days during the tail end of the Cold War

>Admiral is inspecting the ship
>He's in a shit-tacular mood; nothing will please him
>Some chucklefuck sailor does something stupid in his presence
>Admiral orders the officer in charge of my old man's area to bust the chucklefuck to E3.
>Admiral leaves, officer is dumbfounded
>Asks my dad if he heard right; my dad nods, knowing full well what the Admiral just said
>Officer wonders if he should tell the Admiral
>Dad tells him knock yourself out, sir.
>Officer busts the sailor to E3
>He was an E2.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:52:57 No.15668124 Report

Quoted By: >>15668139 >>15668736 >>15669512

>>15668078
>taking acid in Nam
holy lord nigga. I've done acid once, and at no moment did I think "This would be better in the jungle of Vietnam fighting for my life"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:54:33 No.15668136 Report

Quoted By: >>15668165 >>15669619

>be in afghanistan 06
>be dumb as shit
>people more important than me doing key leader engagement with sand people
>standing outside "pulling security"
>shooting shit with semi-english speaking sand people
>they steal things from me like my patches and eye pro but its kind of funny
>learn words in pashtun from old man who clearly speaks english but is having fun taunting me
>suddenly realize I am being watched by some guy standing on a roof with an AK and a chest rig
>wut.jpg
>suddenly sniper shot from nowhere
>man with AK disappears
>sand people running everywhere
>run and take cover behind a house
>everyone is calling out for 3 Ds
>asking if anyone is hit
>another guy in my squad on the other side of the village got hit in the chest, seems to be okay
>suddenly insane burst of fire from another hut in the village about 100m away
>tactically shit pants
>more demands for 3 Ds, everyone asking who's hit
>suddenly man with AK dragging corpse out of nearby hovel
>smiles and waves to us
>nothing else happened that day

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:55:09 No.15668138 Report

Quoted By: >>15668447

2008 iraq
Foot patrol in Yusufifah
Walking in an open field and i smell distinct scent of maryjane
Look down at the calf high shrubs and grab one to show SSG Mead.
He confirms my suspicions( never actually seen it in fresh form).
Snatch
Dry
????
Profit?
Nope.... LT caught wind and i had to scuttle my find.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:55:13 No.15668139 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668124
Oh god my sides are in orbit

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:55:26 No.15668143 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668118

>CO's face when

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:55:33 No.15668144 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668118
My sides were not ready for this punishment....

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:56:28 No.15668153 Report

Quoted By: >>15668189 >>15668206 >>15670123

>>15668055

>Be innasurge
>Be innastryker brigade
>Mortar buddy from my old company goes out on a convoy to investigate a tip about one of our cops that we handed over to the Iraqi army being overrun by kebab.
>Gets blown up. Dies.
>There but for the grace of murderkube did they hit the driver's hole and not the ammo in the back.
>Four months later. Be onnasame stretch of road doing a dismounted clearance.
>Stryker VC reports seven guys in the woodline with RPGs, PKCs, AKs and bundles of... something.
>Be onnam203
>Take a drag offa death
>REMOVE KEBAB
>Don't even fire the M4
>HEDP all day, erryday
>Laughing my fucking ass off the entire time like a maniac.
>Go back for Battle Damage assessment
>Find PKC gunner perforated by fragments.
>IED emplacement team.
>Bag that fucker up.
>CCP is also smoking point back at the COP.
>Deposit gently used Kebab in front of the female cooks in the CCP/Smoking point
>"THAT'S HOW IT'S FUCKIN' DONE, LADIES! WOO!"
>Drive off, fuel up and jerk my pud inna porta john. Not because I whacked some dudes but because it was just that time again.

And that, /k/ was my hollywood revenge.

captcha: Russhed brew

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:58:07 No.15668165 Report

Quoted By: >>15668204

>>15668136
sand person operating operationally.

>all of my wot...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 09:59:40 No.15668181 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668023
>Dad's Face when he had to sit next to Napoleon Blown-a-part on the way back
I know that's nothing to laugh at, but holy fuck I laughed

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk

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Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:00:15 No.15668189 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668153

Forgot pic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:02:06 No.15668204 Report

Quoted By: >>15669102

>>15668165
Maybe it was just me but he looked white, like Russian or something. I never got that close.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:02:16 No.15668206 Report

Quoted By: >>15668414

>>15668153

I can only interpret bits and pieces of your story.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:03:20 No.15668217 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668023
Fucking capped.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:04:52 No.15668232 Report

Quoted By: >>15668277 >>15668521 >>15668822

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:07:40 No.15668251 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665858
Look up "tea boys"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:08:06 No.15668258 Report

Quoted By: >>15668427

FEB 2008 Iraq
On a foot patrol and iraqi dog about to charge me.
Its habbeniing(about to finally hush a puppy).
I square up, raise M4, red dot its head, pull trigger.
EPIC FAIL!!!!! Missed dog and hit the sheep behind it.
Had to pay beeb 60 bucks for it.
Moral of the story? Always lead a moving target.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:08:49 No.15668265 Report

Quoted By:

Any AF itt? I was thinking about going Structural in the Air Force. Honestly, I don't have many prospects and my goal in life is to build a house for me and my wife, and structural seems to teach you almost everything you need to know for that. Plus, I could potentially get work or start my own business after my enlistment. I know air force is kind of faggy or whatever, but anyone have input on this? I don't imagine life in the AF would be too bad, and my wife wants to live in Germany

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:09:39 No.15668277 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668232
That kind of close combat must fuck you up all kinds of bad.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:10:36 No.15668283 Report

Quoted By: >>15668335

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:10:58 No.15668288 Report

Quoted By:

>>15666803
your friend got shot by a .50 cal?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:11:12 No.15668290 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667979
i wish many valkyrie bjs upon him

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:11:29 No.15668294 Report

Quoted By: >>15668313 >>15668321 >>15668332 >>15668342 >>15668360 >>15668785 >>15668840 >>15669032 >>15669080 >>15669237 >>15669361 >>15669827

My great-uncle only told me one story about his time in WW2. He was a Sergeant in the 100/442 RCT, the segregated Japanese unit in the US Army.

>Attacking the Gothic Line, very damn near the end of the war
>Have to climb a cliff in pitch dark to be in position to flank German emplacements, otherwise it'll be a slaughter
>No climbing equipment, no light, no sound
>Great-uncle is a five foot three japanese man with a BAR and a pack that probably weighs more than he does
>Great-uncle's platoon is second in line up the cliff face
>Halfway up, hearing strange whooshing sounds
>Not falling rocks or enemy fire
>Guys in the platoon above him are falling off of the cliff to their deaths
>Guys know that if they yell, they'll probably alert the enemy
>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence
>Great uncle keeps climbing
>Most of the unit makes it to the top, and they push the Germans off of the ridge after heavy fighting

This was the only story I ever heard from him about the war, and I heard it about three months before his Army-ration Lucky Strikes caught up with him and killed him from emphysema. He didn't like to talk about the his time in the Army because the rest of the people in my family complained that it was boring, while they endlessly chattered about being interned during the war and how horrible it was, etc. I'd give damn near anything just to talk to the guy now, instead of as a little kid.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:14:20 No.15668313 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294

> They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence

Holy shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:14:27 No.15668314 Report

Quoted By: >>15668364 >>15668375 >>15668380 >>15668385 >>15668388 >>15668417 >>15668478 >>15668536 >>15669470 >>15671188 >>15671428 >>15671536 >>15671749

>inna sandbox
>some poor bastard in our unit got some hemorrhoids
>he gets picked on fucking constantly and all sorts of shit always gets so pissed off
>he fills one of his mag pouches with tubes of prepH he liberated from the medical tent
>be on patrol
>pretty fuck sure we are lost
>kid with the prepH is saying he needs to stop for a minute
>a couple camel jockeys are approaching us
>deemed non threat
>talking to camel jockey
>his camel spits on the kid that's rubbing the prepH in his ass
>everyone is laughing
>this kid is clearly butthurt
>Translator in out unit explains to the camel jockey why the kids hands were down his pants
>camel jockey laughs and makes a gesture of a fist going up a ass
>then the camel jockey I shit you not utters in English "is what you get when you take it in the ass fag boy"
>everyone is fucking laughing uncontrollably
>this kid gets so fucking mad at this raghead he takes a grenade and shoves it up the camels ass and runs as fast as he can
>everyone hits the deck
>the raghead is covered in camel
>everyone is covered in camel
>make our way back to base
>some officer asks us why we are covered in blood
>before I could say anything squadmate points right at the kid with the hemorrhoids and says "this fucker shoved a grenade up a camels ass."
>no really what happened
>i say "Sir a grenade went off and covered us in camel."
>officer looks at the kid funny and says "why the fuck did you shove a grenade up a camels ass son?"
>he says "because I didn't have enough preparation H for the both of us."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:14:53 No.15668317 Report

Quoted By: >>15670144 >>15671198

Told by a 1st Seargent in my company.

> Be swedish soldier inna Kosovo.
> Kosovo "government" is having some sort of disagreement with the UN forces.
> Decides best way to show their muscles is to cut the supply of snus (dip) to the swedes.
> Most swedish soldiers uses snus.
> Sending a company of heavily armed swedes into an abstinence-fueled rage is NOT a good idea.
> CO decides enough is enough. Loads up an APC with the biggest, hairiest, most viking-looking moutherfuckers on base.
> Hauls ass to the offending checkpoint where the snus is being held hostage.
> Liberate said snus at gunpoint.

Never fuck with the snus.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:15:33 No.15668321 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
>>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence
Holy shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:15:58 No.15668327 Report

Quoted By:

I don't know the exact details leading up from this, but my ex-stepdad has a pretty fucked up 'Nam story.

>set rifle down
>find tree
>taking a piss
>hear "click"
>gook pops out of bush, weapon malfunctioning
>charges at him with knife or bayonet or whatever
>ends up in hand-to-hand struggle
>ends up shoving his thumbs through the guy's eyeballs and decapitating him with his own knife
>leaves the gook head on the body with the face in the crotch as if he was sucking his own dick

He was a pretty fucked up dude. I wouldn't doubt if this one was actually true.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:16:12 No.15668332 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294

>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence

Good lord

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:16:17 No.15668335 Report

Quoted By: >>15673583

>>15668283

Weapon of mass defectation

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1357439920112.jpg, 58KiB, 520x759

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:16:36 No.15668342 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:17:28 No.15668354 Report

Quoted By: >>15668359

>>15667608
>>15667608
His name didn't happen to be Merle Dixon by any chance?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:18:13 No.15668359 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668354
No lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:18:13 No.15668360 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
Way too hardcore for me

Wildcard !!nXaWmBY5C3d

Wildcard !!nXaWmBY5C3d Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:18:57 No.15668364 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
>he says "because I didn't have enough preparation H for the both of us."
Where are my sides?!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:20:09 No.15668375 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
>this kid is clearly butthurt
>not enough prepH

Oh god my sides have reaches maximum warp speed

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:20:29 No.15668380 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314

My sides could never have been ready

Papulu !dCodef2d72

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO dontfuckwiththedudeputtingprepHo (...).png, 40KiB, 982x509

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:21:04 No.15668385 Report

Quoted By: >>15668478

>>15668314
Capped

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:21:08 No.15668387 Report

Quoted By: >>15669022 >>15669245 >>15669493

>>15668023
>Thinks AT mines are set off by light-as-fuck human footsteps.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1358113466526.gif, 485KiB, 245x200

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:21:25 No.15668388 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Angelofthemurdercube.gif, 392KiB, 500x280

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:23:26 No.15668414 Report

Quoted By: >>15668435 >>15669815

>>15668206

Okay, in 2008 in Iraq, we were clearing a notoriously ambush prone stretch of road to go occupy a COP to assist the Iraqi army who'd taken it over.

Four months before hand, we got some bad intel and when a platoon with mortar support went to check it out. The tip was bogus and they hit an IED, killing the driver of the mortar vehicle.

When we got there, months later, on that same stretch of road, we ran into an IED emplacement team on the same stretch of road and we unleashed hell. .50 cals rocking, firing my m203... the whole nine yards. We make what was probably the IED team that killed my friend very dead in very short order.

Laughed my ass off the entire time, bagged up one of the casualties and dumped him off in the smoking area/Casualty collection point right in front of the female cooks.

Proceeded to jerk off because it had been a couple of days.

tl;dr? Fuck bitches, freebase hoppe's #9, shoot kebab for their skittles and arizona juice.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:23:41 No.15668417 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
I am crying and my sides are in another dimension

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:24:43 No.15668427 Report

Quoted By: >>15668512

>>15668258
pog life

Papulu !dCodef2d72

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:25:14 No.15668435 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668414
>Fuck bitches, freebase hoppe's #9, shoot kebab for their skittles and arizona juice.
Way ahead of you on that one bro.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO KaS.jpg, 38KiB, 670x498

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:25:29 No.15668444 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:25:49 No.15668447 Report

Quoted By: >>15668492

>>15668138
420 blaze it fgt

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk

Blac/k/ Theorem !VIH3wcLbRk Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:27:35 No.15668478 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668385
>>15668314

This is the most glorious thing ever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:28:33 No.15668492 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668447
Wish it were that easy. Kinda hard to do when everyone starts grabbing and LT finds out what it is we're grabbing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:29:02 No.15668498 Report

Quoted By:

This thread needs to be archived...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:30:07 No.15668512 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668427
Hey not everyone has an i kiled a beeb story. But you know its funny :)

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1364535720915.jpg, 31KiB, 356x364

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:30:38 No.15668521 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668232

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:32:05 No.15668531 Report

Quoted By: >>15668793

The only real close call I had was when my dumbass 12b self stepped on a "toe-popper". The ground we thought was already swept, and it had tarps all over it. When I stepped on an area of tarp, I heard a telltale "click" noise. "Yo, what the fuck was that?" said my soon-to-be black Jesus. "Uhh, I think I stepped on a toe-popper." "Hold up", he said, and left the warehouse area for who knows long.

Honestly, I thought he left me to die. It felt like an eternity before he got back with some equipment.

Black Jesus took his knife and shaved the sole of my boot off. We then used a wedge to keep pressure on it while I lifted my top half of the boot off of the sole, and found some sandbags to keep it weighed down and some grenades (lol noc4 useless 12b's) to set it off.

It was the longest, most tedious 2 hours of my life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:32:16 No.15668536 Report

Quoted By: >>15668563

>>15668314
i don't think anything can ever top this

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO dowhatyoumust.jpg, 283KiB, 999x666

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:33:44 No.15668551 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667872
Imagine that welcoming when he meets them at the gates of Hell.
>HFW

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:34:11 No.15668556 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665989
Those are fucking intense stories. Where is that trip now? We could use him.

Papulu !dCodef2d72

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:34:41 No.15668563 Report

Quoted By: >>15668579

>>15668536
If some dude posts a story about hate fucking a camel in front of the hadji owner and then running said camel into a known IED.
The only way that can be topped.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO thewaronterror.png, 50KiB, 1335x157

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:35:59 No.15668579 Report

Quoted By: >>15668585

>>15668563
here are some ones that i have saved

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO thewaronterror2.png, 75KiB, 1324x237

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:36:32 No.15668585 Report

Quoted By: >>15668600 >>15668928

>>15668579

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:37:35 No.15668600 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668585
Oh god this is amazing

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:37:43 No.15668602 Report

Quoted By: >>15668617

>>15667912
>Found some nice leather boots on one bastard that had a diary and some photos of a beautiful kraut girl
Fuck the sentimental side of war dammit my feels...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:39:29 No.15668617 Report

Quoted By: >>15668641

>>15668602
It hit me too, right in the feels.
God damn it Brooklyn, why did you have to die?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:40:42 No.15668630 Report

Quoted By: >>15668639 >>15669193

I have one story, though I wouldn't classify it as reliable at all.

My cousin, see, his grandfather was Brazilian-German. Fought in the Eastern theatre. He died before I ever met him, but my own grandfather passed on some of his tales. Now, my gramps is known to embellish and outright fabricate stories for entertainment, but I reckon there's a lot more truth than not in a tale like this.

My cousin's gramps, let's call him Fritz, was an engineer. Radio, mostly. Well decorated. Pushed up all the way to Russia with a tank unit. Then they started to get pushed back. And back.

All the way to Sevastopol. In the middle of winter.

Orders were to stay and hold. And they held. MGs would overheat, ammo would run out, and the russkie corpses would literally pile one atop the other.
But they kept coming.
They'd have some moments where the attacks lulled, but then came back in full force. And again bodies piled on bodies, but unlike the Russians the krauts didn't have any reinforcements. No backup, no ammo, no rations, no nothing.

At some point the new waves of soldiers start getting closer, until the germans notice they're women. Turns out they had killed all the men, so now all the women were throwing themselves at their makeshift fort.

They were doomed, of course. Fritz's officer apparently took pity on him, or perhaps chose him. He got him a pass out of there. Hopped on a train carrying wounded, met with a matron. Matron told him to dunk his (perfectly fine) leg in a bucket of blood, sit tight and look fatigued (check that box).

When inspection comes, they simply look at his papers, his decorations, and nod.

Very few made it out of Sevastopol.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:41:04 No.15668631 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608
And people have the temerity to suggest that the US military is not good at its job.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:41:15 No.15668639 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668630
He continued to fight, eventually being captured in Berlin, or thereabouts. Luckily for him, it was by the French. He lived some time as a POW, but thanks to his high technical ability and proficiency, he got to be under "house arrest", of sorts. Became buddies with the french, even.

After the war, he went straight back to Brazil. The family believe he had a wife during his time in France, a frenchwoman possibly, but she may have died. Details are unclear.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:41:21 No.15668641 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668617
Dont even go there ;-;

That Guy Mod. 1 !!UsGxSBa99SO

Tales of the breach man

That Guy Mod. 1 !!UsGxSBa99SO Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:46:01 No.15668673 Report

Quoted By: >>15668710 >>15668891

>2008
>Assigned to Brigade High Values
>Have actionable intel on HVT in our battle space
>Get told do it time now because they guy is possibly time-sensitive and has a history of eratic movement
>Set up, fusion cell tells us CI said all the doors are wooden or plastic
>lol wat u sure m8
>Yep
>Ok head off to make a bunch of linear flex charges out of det cord
>Use three strands
>Get in tracks, head off to do our thing
>Get there
>Big fucking metal gate leading to courtyard
>Back IA truck through wall, pile out like ants
>Set up security, I get to the door
>Motherfucker it's metal, I don't have a charge for this
>SL: Fuck it hang that shit we need to get in
>Okay, hang that shit on the hinge side
>Squad breaks security hides behind bradley or in corner
>Boom
>Door flys off it hinges and into the room
>Cut in such a way that a MAM on the other side catches a 6 inch long triangular piece of metal clean in the chest
>Bleeds to death on the floor
>Oops

Papulu !dCodef2d72

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:50:14 No.15668710 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668673
Damn, that shit sounds fucking disturbing as fuck.
>All he wanted to do was fuck his virgins
>All he got was a 6 inch triangle of door to the chest.
Any more stories?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:52:24 No.15668736 Report

Quoted By: >>15668826

>>15668124
"You know how this could be better? 90% humidity, biting insects, snakes, oh and a little Asian man that would very much enjoy killing me!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:57:16 No.15668785 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence

Mother of God...

That determination of falling to your death in silence in order to not reveal your friends... admirable.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:57:27 No.15668786 Report

Quoted By: >>15668836 >>15668851 >>15669219

>On Guard duty in Afghanistan
>Twelve hours of brown nothing.
>Hour 5, notice Donkey at 300m
>Hour 6, Donkey has progressed to the 150m mark, is grazing.
>Hour 7, Donkey has made it to the wire and is grazing *DIRECTLY* in front of claymore #15.
>Donkey now has my undivided attention.
>Bad move Donkey.
>Hour 8. After giving the Donkey one hour to remove itself from the wire, I now consider it a threat.
>Radio - "TOC, this is Tower 2, possible contact in sight, request NCOIC for eyes-on, over."
>Radio - "Tower 2, we're looking through the J-lens, we don't see anything. Give a proper sitrep, over"
>Fuck. Radio - "TOC, contact is in range and making a gesture at me, send NCOIC for eyes on."
>SGT Coolguy shows up, "Wtf, Anon?"
>SGT Coolguy sees Donkey.
>Sgt Coolguy realizes clacker #15 is on the wall.
>SGT Coolguy reaches for clacker
>Fuck dat, PFC uses SWIFT, it's super effective!
>*click*
>BOOM! FUCKING SENT THAT DONKEY TO HAJI HELL
>Sgt Coolguy is trying to reprimand me but is laughing his ass off. I am spitting on the floor, in front-lean-and-rest now.
>Radio's going berserk
>Sgt CoolyGuy gets his shit together. "Radio, this is Sgt Coolguy, contact confirmed blah blah blah - was animal VBID, donkey had explosives blah blah."
>Smokes the shit out of me for that. We laugh about it the whole time because TOC sent EOD to pick up Donkey bits.
>Major win.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 10:57:58 No.15668793 Report

Quoted By: >>15668829

>>15668531
I would have made some chocolate pudding on the spot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:01:02 No.15668822 Report

Quoted By: >>15671168

>>15668232

I remember that story, some part of me hopes it's not true.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:01:22 No.15668826 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668736
Wow, it's like that time I dropped acid in Bayou La Batre.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:01:24 No.15668828 Report

Quoted By: >>15668885

Tale of a badass getting fucked by the beurocracy.
2008 yusufiyah, iraq
2nd platoon caught in ambush while patrolling a canal.
Doc Swemba gets hit in the plates and falls into the canal and gear sinks him under.
SGT Rolle dives into the water to rescue him.
Both resurface 100 m downstream and SGT Rolle carries Doc Swemba back to the platoon.
SGT Rolle assesses Swemba and finds no wounds and leads the platoon through the ambush.
The entire platoon puts him in for a Bronze Star w/ V DEVIVE.
Brigade wont put it through because he signed a Dec statement before deployment ( declination statements bar you from any favorable actions).

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:01:29 No.15668829 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668793
>now the longest, most tedious, worst smelling 2 hours of your life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:01:56 No.15668836 Report

Quoted By: >>15668899

>>15668786

I chuckled

cap?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:02:35 No.15668840 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294

>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence

fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:03:50 No.15668851 Report

Quoted By: >>15668867 >>15668874 >>15668941

>>15668786
Holy fuck. That is the best thing you could have done in that situation. Fuck donkeys

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 095863.jpg, 70KiB, 625x375

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:04:42 No.15668857 Report

Quoted By: >>15668987 >>15669025

How many of you guys got to have stray dogs as mascots?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:05:59 No.15668867 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668851
Voice of Scwarzman: Its ok its just a dumb old donkey heee haaaw.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 81KiB, 450x450

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:07:09 No.15668874 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668851
its a waste of a Benjamin but still hilarious as shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:08:28 No.15668885 Report

Quoted By: >>15668922

>>15668828
Why would a person sign this?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:09:06 No.15668891 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668673
Shit that happened in a fucking tom clancy novel--is it that common?

Also the hell is a MAM?

(PS not calling bullshit on your story or anything)

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:10:00 No.15668899 Report

Quoted By: >>15668921

>>15668836
Are you asking if a corrective action plan occurred? It kind of did. I got a counseling statement for "insubordination" and had to do extra KP duty, which was fine because I ended up getting out of guard duty for washing dishes in the mess hall on our "refit" days. Didn't get an Article 15, though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:12:01 No.15668921 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668899
Too bad you didn't get an admiral to bust you up a rank

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:12:01 No.15668922 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668885
He had orders to Korea and didnt want to go without his family. Got the orders right after getting back from Samarrah. Crazy thing was he wasnt even mad about getting the award kicked back. Everyone else was real pissed about it though. He's probably laffing it up now making 3 times what he made with some
PSC

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:12:48 No.15668928 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668585

>Gorilla demon

My farken sides...thry do me pain!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:14:32 No.15668941 Report

Quoted By: >>15669081

>>15668851
>Fuck donkeys

trust me, over there they get fucked A LOT

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:15:27 No.15668951 Report

Quoted By: >>15669255

Grandfather's Story
>be working in a gasoline station in manila
>out of nowhere american soldier comes in
>soldier is a rookie, scared as shit, separated from squad
> my gramps keep him company
> Rest of the squad finally finds the soldier.
>soldier gives my gramps a cigarette lighter.
> Grandfather kept that lighter for the rest of his life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:19:55 No.15668987 Report

Quoted By: >>15669007

>>15668857

That dog looks happy as fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:20:25 No.15668991 Report

Quoted By: >>15669264

This is a new one from 03
>88ms in Kuwait before the invasion
>they go to deliver water to camp bureing back before it was even called that
>middle of the night they get lost
>LT stops convoy for the night
>they wake up first light to the Iraqi border
>T-62 or 72s lined up right there
>Iraqis looking right at them
>LOL sorry the invasion haz not started yet
>they high tail it out of there

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ok.jpg, 10KiB, 266x239

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:21:02 No.15668997 Report

Quoted By: >>15669031

So Grandpa you were in the navy? What did you do?

> I don't want to talk about it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:22:09 No.15669007 Report

Quoted By: >>15676352

>>15668987
Hadjis aren't trying to beat it to death.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:22:41 No.15669014 Report

Quoted By: >>15669278 >>15669744 >>15671272

>2009, Afgashitstain
>got a word from intel that small caravan - few donkeys and dozen or so ragheads - was seen during the night, heading to the 'village' about 5 miles from camp
>'village' is few half-ruined clay huts, habitated only from time to time by nomadic sheep herders
>"possible heroine transport"
>patrol send to investigate
>seregant was all "we are 200 miles from nearest border, why anyone will transport dope here? Something is fishy there"
>decided to go around the village and approach it away from the road
>as we get there, we seen ragheads (un?)loading fucktons of weapons and something that looks like artillery shells on pack animals.
>radioed the base, got permission to engage
>M249 gunner fires a burst
>god only knows what he hits, but following expolosion was FUCKING HUGE. Rock, sand, dust, pieces of ragheads and donkey meat flying everywhere. Everybody hit the deck to hide from shrapnels
>dust settled, everybody is stuned and shocked. But wait a moment ...THE FUCKING VILLAGE IS NO LONGER THERE. VANISHED. GONE. There's a 5 feet deep crater in its place.
>our radio went wild, everybody is asking what the fuck just happened. Blast was so fucking huge that tremor knocked over some tents in the base.
>after the investigation they told us that it must have been an underground stash there, full of explosives and ammo and it goes SYDET after the M249 round detonate something from the transported cargo.
>everybody from that partol were half-deaf for the next week.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:23:55 No.15669022 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668387
>IED
>AP Land Mine
>Some other type of explosive

Some tired as fuck POG isn't going to remember what explosive it was when he's busy picking up the casualty.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:24:09 No.15669025 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668857

Makes me sad to think of all these guys who get left behind at the end of the tour.

Red Dawn !HUMKYrK8X.

Red Dawn !HUMKYrK8X. Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:25:24 No.15669031 Report

Quoted By: >>15669282

>>15668997
I ran into this with my grandfather. We'd be watching some modern military (mid 1990's) special or movie and he'd casually mention that he wish he had 203's in against the Japanese or that A-10's would have made short work of some areas. He wouldn't say anything else.

When he died we went through his personal papers and he was in the OSS. Short story is he was in the Army for two years then joined the OSS and was sent to train soldiers how to fight the Japanese using small unit combat tactics. Guy was a fucking badass and we never knew. He did that until 1944 when he was struck with a very bad bout of Malaria and spent the rest of the war in Australia.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO madre de dios.png, 78KiB, 460x445

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:25:31 No.15669032 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
>They suck it up and fall to their deaths in total silence

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:28:23 No.15669051 Report

Quoted By: >>15669205

I have a buddy i worked with who would tell me random shit about his time in the middle east. I was never sure if he was serious or not about the hajibs fucking each other and only using the women for babies.

I know he did tell me one story last week though.
I'll tell it from his point of view:
>Sitting in the guard tower, middle of hte day, bored as shit.
>Buddy nudges me and points out to a flock of sheep.
>Guy walks right up to a sheep, drops trow and starts fucking the shit out of it.
>Sheep tries getting away, it moves a couple steps, the guy grabs onto and pulls it back and keeps going.
>Guy finishes fucking the sheep, pulls up his pants and goes along like nothing happend.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:30:58 No.15669066 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668055
badass kid

Deadpool !!kBsp4Ukt12d

Deadpool !!kBsp4Ukt12d Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:32:48 No.15669080 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
>fall to their deaths in total silence

Jesus fucking christ.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:33:06 No.15669081 Report

Quoted By: >>15669103 >>15669152 >>15669394 >>15675357

>>15668941
Reminds me of an other story.
>Two months later on same deployment, at new COP
>In Tower One w/ thermals, fucking around
>Guess what? It's Thursday
>Between 50 and 75m away is campsite for workers (local haji that do construction and shit on COP)
>Scanning tents because the hills are asleep and I'm bored as fuck.
>See Haji A fucking around. Wtf he doin?
>Haji A takes some kind of box out of his tent and looks around. It's late as fuck, I think this mofo has a bomb.
>Call it in.
>In the mean time, Haji A has walked over to a Goat and placed what I now figure to be some kind of feed on the ground in front of it and placed the box behind it.
>No fucking way.
>Haji A is now kneeling on the box and, in glorious thermal-optic-vision, is fucking that goat.
>He's fucking that goat.
>Oh my fuck he's fucking that goat for real.
>Goat starts to bleat and shit but sits there, taking it.
>Sgt Different shows up.
>"Wtf PFC?"
>Stammer, can't get my shit together, hand him thermals and point.
>"I don't see shit... what are you looking at, it's jus....what the fuck? HOly fuck no way, he's fucking that goat."
>I've now got my night vision and can see that Haji A's rape of the goat has awoken Haji B, to whom said goat actually belongs.
>Haji A, with hard-on waggin' around, hops off and tries to run
>Haji B is in pursuit with an AK.
>SHITFUKFUK
>Sgt Different's on radio, I'm laughing my ass off, screaming "udrigi! udrigi!"
>Half the camp is running around while two assholes tear through it, one shooting at the other.
>ANA finally show up and take care of shit. Haji B wants Americans to pay for the goat because we watched him fuck it.
>Doesn't happen, goat gets ritualistically killed and burned.

Thursdays aren't just for boys.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:35:39 No.15669102 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668204
maybe it wasn't just you
some of the Russian army guys went native at the end of their Afghan war.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:35:41 No.15669103 Report

Quoted By: >>15672225

>>15669081
"Udrigi" is stop in Pashto, for clarity's sake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:41:58 No.15669152 Report

Quoted By: >>15669177 >>15669187 >>15669266 >>15669436

>>15669081
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2e8_1323253374

relevent to the thread

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:45:21 No.15669177 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669152
Dear god, they're fucking disgusting. may those dirty animal fuckers be shuffled off this mortal coil by a few grains of hot lead.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1348839714758.jpg, 2KiB, 92x126

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:46:29 No.15669187 Report

Quoted By: >>15670061

>>15669152
Oh god I fucking lol'd, even Kiwi's arent that bad

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:47:08 No.15669193 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668630
> Fritz's officer apparently took pity on him, or perhaps chose him
chosen is more likely. they did that in Stalingrad too

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:48:42 No.15669200 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672

You are now aware that night time 4chan is better not because the kiddies are asleep, but because the Europeans aren't posting.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1303481276730.jpg, 23KiB, 500x334

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:49:38 No.15669205 Report

Quoted By: >>15669247 >>15669418

>>15669051

I have a similar story from a guy, who had a sister in my class in highschool... he probably shouldn't have told us this story. He was a medic. (sadly he died in a motorcycle crash 9 years ago)

>Early Afghanistan War
>Convoy on route
>Stops to be friendly with local children
>Pulls out candy bars and gives them to kids
>Him and buddy are eating Snickers on the truck
>Notice Commotion in herd of sheep next to road
>Guy is going at it furiously with the sheep
>Keep eating snickers bars...
>Finish Snickers Bars...
>...
>He's finishes fucking the sheep 15minutes later
>Stands up, Waves at convoy (they wave back) and then starts fucking another sheep.

He was decidedly impressed at the man's stamina for sheep fucking... And while he was telling us this story, in our Spanish class (mostly 9th graders) , someone asked 'they really just DO that?!' he replied 'Oh yea, they just get right up there' *raises leg, puts foot on desk* "and start going at it". *starts air humping while making *baaaah* noises*

our teacher was hiding her face on her desk laughing.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Screenshot from 2013-04-08 02:51 (...).png, 72KiB, 1001x402

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:51:40 No.15669219 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668786
Screencapped

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:54:46 No.15669237 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294

There's a reason why that unit is the most decorated US unit in WWII...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:56:05 No.15669245 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668387

Oh, it happens, trust me

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:56:14 No.15669247 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669205

Well there go my sides.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:57:00 No.15669255 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668951
A good man.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:57:54 No.15669264 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668991
More pog than the guy who accidentally shot a sheep

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:58:02 No.15669266 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669152
my buddy went to afghanistan. he told me that they had a number of donkeys to trade/give to locals in return for information, hearts/minds, that kind of bullshit.

apparently, they ended up having to have 2 guys guarding the donkeys 24/7 because the locals were sneaking in and fucking them so often.

seriously, mudslimes are fucking animals.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1356690756604.jpg, 39KiB, 385x526

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 11:59:48 No.15669278 Report

Quoted By: >>15671272

>>15669014
Screencap requested.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:01:08 No.15669282 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669031
Are you me? My grandpa was the same way, except in the army in Italy. He was in Europe from Anzio to the end of the war, and he only told me a few stories about what he did there.

I talk to my dad about this (grandpa is mom's dad) and he tells me lol he was in some company...something's raiders that was a precursor to traditional special forces.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:03:18 No.15669296 Report

Quoted By:

My father generally doesn't say much about actual incidents in Vietnam, but will talk about the weapons, tactics, his noncombat experiences. He's been opening up more and more as he gets older so maybe I can ask about the grenade that got him a purple heart eventually.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:10:08 No.15669331 Report

Quoted By: >>15669356

buddy told me this a week or so ago.

>out in Afghanistan at the FOB
>have a half-wit PFC attached to his unit
>half-wit is actually a pretty cool dude, redneck as fuck
>half-wit usually just does bitch work around the FOB
>artillery piece is brought in
>setting it up
>half-wit wants to try it out
>friend lets him, starts hucking rounds at the hill out in front of them
>a few rounds go over hill before halfwit get it right
>forget about it until that evening
>local sheepherder comes by
>the back of his pickup is literally filled to the brim with exploded sheep

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:13:48 No.15669347 Report

Quoted By: >>15669397

Last story before I go visit hell on more hajis in my dreams...
>First month of deployment, don't know shit bout fuck.
>Doing pat-downs on locals and ANA coming into base.
>One comes in, tells terp that he knows where an IED is (he's expecting to get paid for the info)
>Call in, he gets escorted to intel
>Few minutes later, light up my first Haji cigarette - a "Pleasure Light."
>Drop my cigarette, tactically shit my pants.
>Lock gate, take knee, pull security
>Squad Leader comes running up, says, "Haji just blew himself up."
>Oh fuck, a suicide bomber.
>"No. He was trying to diffuse the IED by smacking it on a rock."
>"...what the fuck, sarge?"
>"HE SMACKED THE BOMB ON A ROCK TO DIFFUSE IT. That's what his friend said he was going to do."
>Turns out, guy I let in with info on IED was about to make a lot of money ($1000) for the info and a positive ID.
>No money for you. Bomb's gone, your friend's gone.
>His family Taliban now.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA.

11Boom !UzGEvznqA. Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:15:02 No.15669356 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669331
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KILL ZONE!!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:16:03 No.15669361 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
Welcome to the 442nd. A bunch of hard-ass motherfuckers straight outta Japanese-American internment camps looking to prove themselves loyal for a country who thought them as enemies. There was a senator in Hawaii who lost an arm and was in the 442nd. He had the most power in the entire committee, up until he died. I can only wish I could live up to their sacrifices.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:21:21 No.15669394 Report

Quoted By: >>15669495

>>15669081
The cradle of civilization, boys.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:21:54 No.15669397 Report

Quoted By: >>15669410 >>15669412

>>15669347
It took me like 5 reads to realize you said he smacked the BOMB on a ROCK and not a ROCK on the BOMB.

What the shit Hajib?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:25:16 No.15669410 Report

Quoted By: >>15669419 >>15669445

>>15669397
Hadji EOD isn't the most consistent.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:25:43 No.15669412 Report

Quoted By: >>15669480

>>15669397

If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:26:11 No.15669416 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667272
I have that fucking game. Picked it up while checking flea market in Saigon bout 10 years ago. Had all kinds of Pokemon games on it and fucking Link's Awakening.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:27:17 No.15669418 Report

Quoted By: >>15670306

>>15669205
ROTFLMAO
Someone needs to screencap the fuck out of that post.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:27:19 No.15669419 Report

Quoted By: >>15669434

>>15669410
Something tells me they don't get a lot of training, or retirees.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:29:29 No.15669434 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669419
Very cost-efficient, though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:29:36 No.15669436 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669152
>http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2e8_1323253374
"Guy is a fuckin pro" (1:38)

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:30:54 No.15669441 Report

Quoted By:

Here's a story my buddy told me.

>Rolling through turban town
>Was a spotter for some sniper at the moment
>Chilling in the humvee on the way back to base
>Some raghead jumps out into the road and fires an fucking Cold War-era RPG at the vehicle
>rocket falls apart before it gets to the humvee and lands harmlessly on the ground
>Both the soldiers and the raghead stare for a good minute
>Three of the other guys in the humvee jump out and beat the shit out of the guy with the butts of their rifles
>Picks up the RPG, has a nude woman carved into the wooden part
>Take the unloaded RPG back to base

Now he's going to college for computer science.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:32:08 No.15669445 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669410

I picture a MacGiver-esq Hadjji carefully and precisely removing several complex anti - tamper devices only to extract it and stare decisively at that rock

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:32:42 No.15669454 Report

Quoted By: >>15669462 >>15669467 >>15671520

>>15666926
>7.62x54
>a couple of broken ribs

Is there something I'm missing?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:33:52 No.15669462 Report

Quoted By: >>15669474

>>15669454

Low quality iraqi ammo?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:34:46 No.15669467 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669454
2 inches of Ceramic armor.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:35:16 No.15669470 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
>>he says "because I didn't have enough preparation H for the both of us."
My sides have grabbed SKS and gone inna woods.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:35:35 No.15669472 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608

Smoking whilst on clearance patrol or static tactical area guard.

Shigdig.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:35:43 No.15669474 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669462
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaS_2l8nGdg

Nah. .30 cal rifle round won't pen a vest +sapi.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:36:50 No.15669478 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667697
Cousin is UK corpsman equivalent, had a nice beard while he was in 'ghan. Told me all about Afghan customs, about beards being a sign of wisdom and authority etc.

Anyway.

Tells me about ANA group he was working with, mixed group (Pashtuns, some Iraqis, Tajiks). Tells me about how tribal they can be, that the Pashtuns used to keep the others in line and be really aggressive to them. He told me about one time he was taking a leak and a Pashtun raped a young Tajik guy who was in their group, "to put him in his place" or something.

The things we take for granted, huh?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:37:07 No.15669480 Report

Quoted By: >>15669483

>>15669412
He fucking blew himself up, it was pretty stupid

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:38:23 No.15669483 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669480
It worked out alright for everybody else though. And didnt require a $20,000 EOD robot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:40:29 No.15669493 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668387
they have these ceramic caps that go off if they're broken, and if they're placed in tall grass you can put sticks in them so a tank's hull will set them off if the tracks miss them. They're fragile enough that you could break one and set it off if you accidentally kicked it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:41:02 No.15669495 Report

Quoted By: >>15669505 >>15669508 >>15669518 >>15670103 >>15671362

>>15669394
I know a woman who, at age 16, sewed her own fursuit and tried to go to a furry convention to have anonymous sex. I've met a girl who got pregnant because she thought that if you took a shower after sex you wouldn't get knocked up. I know a guy who got herpes because he shared a teddy bear with an installed vagina with a stranger. I know a guy who got third degree burns on his crotch because he poured gasoline on his pants and lit it to prove how tough he was. I've met a guy who said he can't get STDs because he's a top. I was friends in high school with a girl who knowingly slept with her first cousin. The guy who used to live in the house across from mine got arrested for cooking meth in his yard. The woman who lived in the house next to meth guy got kicked out because she told all the neighbors that she was cheating on her husband; when he kicked her out she blamed everyone for telling him. The guy who lived down the road bought a new house and decided that it was taking too long to sell his old house, so he defaulted on the mortgage so the bank would foreclose on it and he wouldn't have to deal with it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:43:09 No.15669505 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669495
We aren't holding our heads high, but at least we don't make a (major) habit out of fucking animals.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:43:28 No.15669508 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669495

tl;dr, people are uselessly fucking stupid.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:43:46 No.15669512 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668124
>holy lord nigga. I've done acid once, and at no moment did I think "This would be better in the jungle of Vietnam fighting for my life"
LMAO

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:45:13 No.15669518 Report

Quoted By: >>15669533 >>15671261

>>15669495
Well, at least we don't fuck donkeys. As far as i'm concerned that's a feather in our cap.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:47:24 No.15669533 Report

Quoted By: >>15669540 >>15669580

>>15669518
You say that, but you've never been to Alabama, have you?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:48:13 No.15669540 Report

Quoted By: >>15669558

>>15669533
Be careful with those liberal myths.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:48:17 No.15669541 Report

Quoted By:

my great great grandfather was claus schenk von stauffenberg he tryed to dead hitler, i have his stationary and gloves.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:48:20 No.15669543 Report

Quoted By:

>ask grandpa what he did in WWII
>I was a cook on submarines,sort of
>What do you mean grandpa?
>I was a shit cook and one of our torpedomen was a great cook, so we switched.

He's dead now, but he was a crazy motherfucker.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:51:23 No.15669558 Report

Quoted By: >>15669567

>>15669540
This. There are people that fuck animals of all shapes and sizes. The majority are not rednecks. Does everybody remember that boeing engineer who died a while back because he had anal sex with a horse and died from internal bleeding?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:52:40 No.15669567 Report

Quoted By: >>15669573 >>15669689

>>15669558
Remember? I saw the movie about him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:53:30 No.15669573 Report

Quoted By: >>15669586

>>15669567
There was a movie?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO IMG_1170.jpg, 2MiB, 2592x1936

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:54:28 No.15669580 Report

Quoted By: >>15669599 >>15676723

>>15669533
>Alabama

This was one of my trips there. Didn't see anyone fucking sheep here, or in Mobile.

as for the thread Ill tell you what my buddy used to do:

>SGT in Army infantry
>OIF
>Rolls around in humvee
>punctures soccer balls with knife and throws out to hajji kids
>has a giggle at their excitement turning to severe dissapointment
>survives and IED blast at one point, has not told me about it
>Comes home and gets shot in the ankle by some fuckwit who dropped a .45

ehs a pretty cool guy, has a CIB and doesnt afraid of anything.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:55:05 No.15669586 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669573
Yep, it's called Zoo.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:57:19 No.15669599 Report

Quoted By: >>15669611

>>15669580

>Mobile

Now, once you get to some of the smaller towns like Fort Payne or Mentone, you'll see weird shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 12:59:18 No.15669611 Report

Quoted By: >>15669625

>>15669599
I went to college with a chick from Fort Payne, the only weird shit she mentioned was the snake handlers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:00:29 No.15669619 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668136
>be in afghanistan
>be dumb as shit

Pick 2 forever and always!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:01:26 No.15669625 Report

Quoted By: >>15669635

>>15669611

Yeah, the snake churches are a thing there.

A few girls from thereabouts stick snakes in their pussies.

I worked at a summer camp there with a guy who'd been in the army for 7 years straight, I think he was an LT or something

But he went jogging one day and came across one of those churches chanting and such and noped the fuck back to camp

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:01:34 No.15669626 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665997
> 11 year old wife

I see nothing wrong in this. Sex before marriage is a sin.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:02:21 No.15669635 Report

Quoted By: >>15669639

>>15669625
>A few girls from thereabouts stick snakes in their pussies.
what?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:03:09 No.15669639 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669635

Yeah, some Fort Payne chicks I met were into that sort of thing.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1.jpg, 24KiB, 340x292

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:03:57 No.15669648 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667272
>This story

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:09:27 No.15669689 Report

Quoted By: >>15669698 >>15673010

>>15669567
The faggy movie-movie, or do you mean mrhands.wmv? Funfact: the mrhands video is not the incident he died from.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:10:03 No.15669693 Report

Quoted By: >>15669708 >>15669763 >>15669783 >>15676759

>>15665997
>Dudes in afghanistan would rather fuck a boy
> or an animal than a woman.

I took a class in college about gender roles in the middle east (yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a total faggot college boy). One of the things the professor told us that stuck with me was that in a lot of peoples' minds over there, it's not "gay" if you're the pitcher. Like, the guy taking it is a total homo who deserves contempt and derision, but the guy giving it to him, well, that's understandable if he's not married or his wife isn't available.

>afghan security dude in one of our towers
> was bragging about banging his 11 year old
> wife.

Hey, she was probably happy to do it, since her culture's telling her it's her wifely duty and all. some crazy stuff over there.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:11:06 No.15669698 Report

Quoted By: >>15669722

>>15669689
They made a genuine documentary.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_%28film%29

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:14:01 No.15669708 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669693
Thats some fucked up shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:17:19 No.15669722 Report

Quoted By: >>15669758 >>15669792

>>15669698
You weren't kidding, that is kind of fucked up. What is even more fucked is the media praising it as "breaking the last taboo".

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:21:55 No.15669744 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669014
I would hate to do the paperwork for that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:25:39 No.15669758 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669722
Well the media is just as degenerate as those fucks fucking animals.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:26:42 No.15669763 Report

Quoted By: >>15669783 >>15671501

>>15669693
>it's not "gay" if you're the pitcher

Same in old Roman culture and greek culture too if I remember such as the Spartans.

Not exclusive to the middle east.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:30:43 No.15669783 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669693
>>15669763
same with prison

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:32:11 No.15669792 Report

Quoted By: >>15669795 >>15669814

>>15669722

Am I the only person who doesn't terribly care what your sexual desires are as long as it doesn't end up hurting someone else?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:33:17 No.15669795 Report

Quoted By: >>15669808

>>15669792
FUK U FAGGOT WE GOTTA BAN FAG MARRIAGE AND ABORTIONS CUZ JESUS AND MURKA

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:36:51 No.15669808 Report

Quoted By: >>15669817

>>15669795
And day/k/are is here, time to go to bed.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:38:30 No.15669814 Report

Quoted By: >>15669830

>>15669792

what if someone else's sexual desire is getting hurt?

what then??????

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:38:38 No.15669815 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668414
>right in front of the female cooks
Why?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:39:25 No.15669817 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669808
Yeah, you better fuck off, faggot. We don't like your kind around here. Now leave before you spread your disease, you yogurt gulping, fudge packing fairy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:41:54 No.15669827 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668294
>Guys in the platoon above him are falling off of the cliff to their deaths

That's enough internet for the day, time to get drunk for my fellow Jap-Americans.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:43:35 No.15669830 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669814
If they want to be hurt, then that's fine with me, they can proably find someone who's be willing to inflict it.

If they want to hurt someone and they cause it on someone who doesn't want it, then that's wrong.

As long as there's mutual consent between the parties involved it's pretty much OK with me. I'm not going to get into other people's lives because of what they want to do in private.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:52:48 No.15669850 Report

Quoted By: >>15669870 >>15669874 >>15669894 >>15669975

>innathailand (WOOOOOOOO)
>buddy is only intersted in drinking cobra blood
>not booze, not girls, not "girls", just cobra blood
>ask a cabbie
>only legit cabbie in thailand, just looks at us horrified
>ask next cabbie
>shady as fuck. tells us to get in
>driving _ridiculously fast_ through Bangkok
>cabbie is yelling angrily into phone the whole time
>no white/tourist people anywhere
>welcometothethirdworld,jpeg
>turns down narrow as fuck alley
>no room to turn around
>giant red doors in front of us
>bad feeling guy in head finally wakes up
>cabbie still yelling
>buddy is oblivious
>pulls up to doors
>honk, honk, honkhonk
>Fucking geese?
>Geese everywhere
>pulls us out of car
>ohgodpeckingmyeyes
>world goes dark
>buddy is sobbing
>wake up in shanty hospital three days later
>never see buddy again
>god i love thailand

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 13:58:29 No.15669870 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669850
Should have used lasers man, geese hate lasers.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1364516790265.jpg, 15KiB, 250x250

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:00:18 No.15669874 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669850
>your buddy being greeted by his new co-workers

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:05:04 No.15669894 Report

Quoted By: >>15669909

>>15669850
>MFW every white guy who I see in Thailand looks like a pedophile

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:07:27 No.15669909 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669894
That is because everyone who goes to Thailand or the Phillipines is a pedophile. They either want to stick their dick in little kids or ladies that look like little kids.

And there is nothing wrong with that. As long as they aren't fucking 1st world kids.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:18:42 No.15669975 Report

Quoted By: >>15670049 >>15672873

>>15669850
I keed, I keed
>cabbie honks
>door opens up
>some kind of checkpoint
>two thais with AKs
>yep, bad idea
>cabbie says a lot of things very quickly in moonspeak
>guard in all black suit just stares at us
>radios somebody
>lets cabbie drive in
>get out
>giant compound, high walls, trees, lots of water features, kinda like a temple
>giant gold cobras emblazoned on side of building
>we have arrived
>led to rock circle
>sitting indian on rocks, fucking uncomfortable in shorts
>buddy is excited as fuck
>wait like 15 minutes
At this point the most ridiculously sterotypical asian monk appears. has a bald head, lots of wrinkles, tanned to a crisp, long ass white beard to his knees, thin as a rail and bony everywhere, wearing dirty ass robes that barely stays on him.
>he's carrying a basket
>herewego.jpeg
>monk starts dancing, chanting loudly
>guard brings him HUGE knife
>opens basket
>pulls out cobra
>flails it around
>holds it close to our heads
>jesus christ what am i doing
>knoifes the cobra, from head all the way down
>blood gushes out, into little glass on ground
>drapes dead snake around his neck
>goes back to basket
>itsanothercobra
>does _exact same thing_
>two glasses of cobra blood

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pudgu.png, 17KiB, 544x436

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:20:16 No.15669983 Report

Quoted By: >>15669997

Only story I have is from a family friend who served as a truck driver in Vietnam.

>be inna jungle delivering some infantry between bases
>hit a mine and everyone tactically loses their shit and thinks its an ambush
>jump out of the drivers seat wondering what the fuck is going on
>unlucky private steps on another mine
>kills 9 men wounds the others
>family friend takes shrapnel and loses most of the left side of his face, left arm pretty fucked up
>left eye and ear totally useless now

Interestingly his brother in the infantry made it through completely unscathed, and his other brother was denied access because lol2manybrothersincombat.

>tfw no qt donkey fucking stories

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:22:56 No.15669997 Report

Quoted By: >>15670013 >>15670020 >>15670143 >>15670164

>>15669983

>Mine
>Kills 9 men

what

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:25:01 No.15670013 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669997
People die when they are killed anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:25:40 No.15670020 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669997
Probably either ignited something or it was a group of them all in the exact right place. If said private stepped on a mine right next to a gas tank, well, there goes that truck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:30:13 No.15670049 Report

Quoted By: >>15672231

>>15669975
>monk shoves first glass at me
>blood is already curdling
>nope.jpeg
>politely offer to buddy, so he can go first
>accepts
>get second glass
>small victories
>monk start screaming different chant
>bottoms up
>texture of milk, taste of ass
>choke down
>blood running out of mouth, down shirt
>buddy is already vomitting
>monk hands us two more glasses
>don't care what it is, must drink
>tequila
>motherfucker
>offers us the livers
>"politely" nope
>get led out of doors
>AK guy shuts them on us
>realize the cab is gone
>two white dudes, covered in blood, middle of the asshole of Bangkok
>buddy looks at me
>"Let's find a bar."
A good day in Mother Green

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:32:34 No.15670061 Report

Quoted By: >>15670087 >>15670090

>>15669187
There are more cows and sheep in Australia, "mate."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:35:03 No.15670087 Report

Quoted By: >>15670150

>>15670061
But New Zealand has more sheep per-capita.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:35:40 No.15670090 Report

Quoted By:

>>15670061
I have personally archived everything in this thread up to this post i replied to. My program saves it all as one big image file so i will chop it down when i get home from work. All these stories will preserved friends.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:37:32 No.15670103 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669495
>bank forecloses so he "doesn't have to deal with it"

That guy sounds like a champ

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:40:31 No.15670123 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668153

you write like a tryhard.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:44:51 No.15670143 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669997
They probably placed a boatload of AP mines around some AT mines in an area with little cover, so when everyone disembarks in tight formation in a daze they get fucked

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1364433778971.jpg, 156KiB, 736x736

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:44:55 No.15670144 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668317
Du gamla du fria.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:45:41 No.15670150 Report

Quoted By: >>15671979

>>15670087
Animal abuse in Australia and New Zealand is just the stuff of off-kilter humor and poking fun (no pun intended). You always trade shit insults with Aussies and Kiwis about sheep shagging and roo fucking etc but it's usually unfounded.

Unlike Afghan.

And Wales.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 14:48:14 No.15670164 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669997
Yeah pretty fucked, the impression he got was that it blew when everyone was all grouped together rushing to get out of the back.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1363909518219.gif, 2MiB, 230x173

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 15:12:51 No.15670306 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669418
>ROTFLMAO

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:01:14 No.15671168 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668822

i can actually confirm the story , my father was in the war (he was kebab) , he fought , was wounded 3 times , survived and has bad ptsd , he too said he wished he never joined that war , said shit things happened to good people , and only the bad ones got rich of it , the many many kebab removers fought for us , they where either killed or are still alive , damn good respectable men .

i still ask myself today why did this shit had to happen to us ?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:04:33 No.15671188 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314

my sides wherent ready for them hemoroids

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:05:36 No.15671198 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668317

>snus
>not being named anus as a unit
>shiggery niggery

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:16:36 No.15671261 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669518
and this is why I love /k/. It's the little things.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO boom.jpg, 66KiB, 1019x336

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:19:03 No.15671272 Report

Quoted By: >>15672071

>>15669014
>>15669278
capped

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO thats a lot of thumbs.png, 32KiB, 1077x547

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:28:00 No.15671335 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:30:41 No.15671362 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669495
>I was friends in high school with a girl who knowingly slept with her first cousin
i'd be friends with her too
>so he defaulted on the mortgage so the bank would foreclose on it and he wouldn't have to deal with it.
if he owed more on the house than it was worth, then it was a strategic decision.

Klaus_Jäger !!NOwbmsVEU0S

Klaus_Jäger !!NOwbmsVEU0S Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:39:35 No.15671428 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
My sides can't repel fire of this magnitude!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:44:07 No.15671459 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665989
>capping threads as wide as possible
don't do this

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:46:13 No.15671484 Report

Quoted By:

>Grandad was a plane mechanic with the RAAF during WWII
>Pilot of the bomber he's assigned to idles the engines for too long after landing, floods the engine and all 36 or so spark plugs have to be changed
>Grandad tells him not to idle after landing and explains why
>Next time pilot does the same thing but deliberately this time so grandad boards the plane and turns the engine off
>Ground crew boarding the plane whilst its in use is a BIG no no
>Pilot's tell CO
>Grandad gets pulled up by CO and disciplined
>Grandad says to pilots/crew "You know, I used to care about this bucket of shit, but if it never comes back they'll just give me a new plane"
>Pilots never idle engine too long again. Are super nice to my grandad. Give him cigarettes and chocolate as gifts

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:48:53 No.15671501 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669763
>greek culture too if I remember such as the Spartans.

Except the Spartans didn't see being the catcher as being contemptible. It was just what the younger of the pair did as part of his "apprenticeship" so to speak. Eventually, he would take on his own apprentice and the whole thing would start again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:50:52 No.15671520 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669454
yes, there is.

Specifically, level IV multi-hit equivalent ceramic armor plates.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:52:30 No.15671536 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
My sides just punched holes in the walls.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 18:55:11 No.15671561 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667912
Fake story confirmed for fake. Your grandpa was a liar and a faggot.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1360683612560.jpg, 36KiB, 212x272

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:14:28 No.15671749 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668314
>"is what you get when you take it in the ass fag boy"
>hadji's face when

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO want.jpg, 17KiB, 240x240

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:35:21 No.15671956 Report

Quoted By: >>15672015

re-relayed to me by dad from his dad, may or may not be true

>be grunt in WW2, 1942, deep at night
>heavy fighting went on for days
>be hairy Russian peasant with pride beard
>drop off all equipment other than the helmet and his lucky straight razor
>well, it's yet to be "lucky"
>walks innawoods for a while to take a shit
>hears rustling and kraut mutterings
>shits gigantic bricks
>out the trees walks german officer, not noticing our pooper of doom
>he's got the MP-44, Walter and shit
>casually takes a piss off the small hill above our squatter of vengeance
>guy finally mans the fuck up and charges the german
>it so happens that he grabs him by the dick out of nowhere and sticks the razor against his balls
>Kraut never saw a screaming hairy bearded Russian coming to take his testicles and mutters something like "U-urus! Halt"
>not one of them speaks another's language
>somehow the shitter of justice manages to escort a full clad officer back to his base a hour later
Intelligence they managed to pull out of Kraut proved invaluable
The guy then considered the razor his lucky charm and always carried it on his belt
Him and my grandfather went all the way to Europe and went missing in action at 1945

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:38:38 No.15671979 Report

Quoted By:

>>15670150
I'm from New Zealand.
Me and a mate had a two piece band for a while that just poked fun at all that shit. I still remember some of the lyrics to "We learnt it from the goat man" and "I'm in love with my cousin".

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:43:48 No.15672015 Report

Quoted By: >>15672047

>>15671956

went to europe instead of getting purged by that georgian fuck stalin.

Good.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1365354906912.jpg, 16KiB, 245x366

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:48:03 No.15672047 Report

Quoted By:

>>15672015
Not a step backwards they said.
Is for freedom of motherland they said.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO k-stories_bigbadaboom.png, 23KiB, 1264x306

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:50:49 No.15672071 Report

Quoted By:

>>15671272
>jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 19:52:37 No.15672083 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
Alright OP, I've got one...
>Great Grandfather
>Europe WWII
>Grandfather was Captain of Able Battery
>Having breakfast during a stop with Headquarters Battery
>They hear a buzzing above them, then a bright flash, followed by the scream of something coming down
>Everyone hits the deck/dives for cover
>One guy in the woods taking a shit comes bursting through the bushes with his pants still down
>Gigantic THUD
>No explosion
>A V1 Buzz bomb had fell upon their position and didn't explode
>Grandfather was under the kitchen truck
>Took pictures with it
>Told me "Those germans couldn't design a bomb worth a shit."

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mootnukem.jpg, 11KiB, 230x219

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:06:20 No.15672180 Report

Quoted By: >>15672410

Once of my NCO's told me about when they took an airbase from the Iraqi's at the start of OIF

>Be inna armored unit
>Take airfield
>Just outside of base when Iraqi Troops roll up in shit trucks with .50's on them, start firing at the base and their position.
>Radio blows up
>Suddenly, Bradley enters the battlespace
>Vehicles panic, start fleeing, others get hit and destroyed
>One vehicle flips
>Passengers jump out, start trying to dig into sand to hide themselves
>Bradley saw their position, instead of firing on them, runs them over

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:06:36 No.15672182 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667912
Fake and gay.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:12:23 No.15672225 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669103
Its Wadarega you dumb cunt

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:13:16 No.15672231 Report

Quoted By:

>>15670049
Man I went to Thailand and all I did was get get drunk, scuba dive and bring home a wicked case of food poisoning.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:36:18 No.15672410 Report

Quoted By:

>>15672180

You cannot prevail against the weight of my tank!

Le French

Le French Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:39:02 No.15672443 Report

Quoted By: >>15672617

>>15665672
here's a story from a buddy who was in A-stan

> guys on patrol are told to win hearts and minds
> usually give candies to kids
> in a village they go by often, there's that teen
> he usually follows the soldiers and beat the other kids to get candies
> one day the soldiers are fed up with it
> they take the kid and give him a candy from MRE
> those are not candies, only firestarters that look like big menthol sweets
> give it to the kid
> starts to eat it, doesn't like it. Not at all.
> Soldiers look angry at him " What ? You don't like my candies ? They don't taste goo enough for you ? "
> Teen finishes candy saying it's quite good in fact.
> Leaves
> Never asked for another candy.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Dr. who.jpg, 48KiB, 640x352

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 20:54:53 No.15672617 Report

Quoted By: >>15673471

>>15672443
that is way lamer than half a hundred thumbs over two weeks

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:15:27 No.15672798 Report

Quoted By:

>>15665672
From my dad (101st Airborne, drafted and sent into 'Nam during the Tet Offensive):

>Be inna camp
>Some guy leaves to take piss
>Some guy come running back holding his pants up, Charlie is in hot pursuit
>Did you ever hear the one about the Gook that walked into a BAR?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:23:04 No.15672873 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669975

confirmed that you have never been to thailand or more than likely out of moms basement

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:36:58 No.15673010 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669689
Well I feel a lot better about masturbating to it now

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:47:26 No.15673151 Report

Quoted By: >>15673226 >>15673304 >>15673405

>in sandbox (Iraq)
>FOB in the middle of BFE
>first ones at the FOB
>resupply convoy is a day or two out so we gotta clear the route for IEDs
>no clear cover for hadjis so we are looking for pressure sensitive shit
>see a goat
>its walking in front of us aimlessly following the road
>goat trips
>wires wires everyone get down
>clear sectors confirm no bogeys
>grab multi tool and approach
>gently snip wires
>follow 2 wires back, find 2 buried 155's
>follow the main wire back to find a telephone
>rigged for a phone call boom
>goat is now watching us
>give goat a bite of my candy bar for finding IED
>goat follows us back to base
>next day on patrol goat is walking in front of our squad probably hoping for some more food
>goat charges foreward and finds something to chew on
>he pulls on whatever he is chewing
>fucking det cord that was wrapped around 4 smaller mortar shells
>goat ate through the det cord
>Fuck it he deserves a whole candy bar
>come upon an overturned bus
>someone jokingly put his helmet on the goat and told him to go find a IED
>goat walks around the bus
>hear a gunshot
>see the goat take off running
>apparently a hadji sniper saw the helmet and shot too soon
>squadmate peeks around the bus and sees a small shack maybe 150 yards out
>backs up and lobs a HE with his 203
>scares hadji out from behind the shack
>mow him down
>goat returns
>private dumbshit can't find his lid now because the goat must have dropped it
>small enough shack we just torch it
>get the bus moved with 2 winches on 2 humvees
>goat follows us back to base
>we bring him in and feed him
>make a sachel that said EOD goat
>next day
>establish patrol and small squads on resupply route
>walking around just doing a quick check for shit
>goat charges off into the distance
>hear a scream
>look and see goat attacking a hadji that was hiding behind a outcropping
>hadji shoots the goat with his pistol
>MAN DOWN take out hadji
>that night we honored the goat by feasting upon his corpse

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:54:06 No.15673226 Report

Quoted By: >>15673250

>>15673151
Goats are such bro animals.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 21:56:48 No.15673250 Report

Quoted By: >>15673333

>>15673226
The hell they are, they LOVE biting people.

They're just as bad as camels.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:01:06 No.15673304 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673151
>operator goat

A true American hero.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:03:52 No.15673333 Report

Quoted By: >>15673375

>>15673250
You gotta bro out with the goat first dude

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:05:15 No.15673351 Report

Quoted By: >>15673566

Someone please screen cap goat story

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:07:25 No.15673375 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673333
Perhaps, but the first goat I met introduced itself by biting my ass (literally), so I wasn't too inclined to give it any candy.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO goat.gif, 2MiB, 288x216

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:09:52 No.15673405 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673151
GOAT goat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:12:13 No.15673439 Report

Quoted By: >>15673489

Uncles story
His name really is Dan he wasn't a Lt though
>inna bush BFE nam
>tunnel duty
>Dan is on point
>has his flashlight and his .45
>patrol buddy behind Dan says he thinks the tunnel is getting more narrow
>comes to a fork
>what do?
>they decide not to split up and just go left
>the tunnel starts to open up
>they hear some faint noise so they kill their lights
>sounds like English almost
>they press on
>they see lights around a bend and duck back
>guns ready
>they hear English
>sounds like friendlies
>they blink their flashlight and say American friendly
>instaquiet
>say again American friendly
>company so and so squad whatever
>hear back, American friendly we are coming out
>see some marines that were humping through the tunnel
>its clear they have been in the tunnel for about 3 hours they got lost but it looks damn empty
>we saw a fork maybe 200 yards back
>alright lets check it out as long as you guys know the way out
>get back to the fork
>start down the path
>what is that smell?
>press on
>smell is getting worse and worse
>they come upon a big opening
>electronics, guns, ammo all sorts of shit
>no one home
>god what is that fucking smell
>they keep pressing foreword into another tunnel
>the tunnel opens up
>they can stand up but still single file
>the smell is almost unbearable at this point
>turn a corner and find a pile of dead Vietcong
>floor to ceiling
>dead
>they are like wtf?
>so they are talking about what do do
>hear some faint screams
>it sounds like from the other side of the pile
>they start to move the bodies
>screams are getting louder
>there has to be 50 gooks here
>small cave in on top of the end of the pile
>the screams stop
>keep digging
>find the rotted bodies of 2 American POW's
>they nope the fuck out of the tunnel and report what they found

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:14:27 No.15673463 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668023
>Napoleon Blown-a-part

Fuck you, man, my laptop is now covered in saliva and milk. I think I broke a fucking rib.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:15:26 No.15673471 Report

Quoted By:

>>15672617
you don't hear stories that good that ring true that often...
i've heard about hillbillys shooting down zeros, shooting down a B-52, getting blown up on a pow train in germany, getting hit by a kamakazi, and busting an m16 apart on a vc's head and using his ak the rest of the war... but tripping out of the tunnels with 52 thumbs is something different.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:18:12 No.15673489 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673439
I'm surprised that story didn't end with
>Operationally sneak through side hallway to bamboo door
>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO naji.jpg, 15KiB, 400x224

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:20:57 No.15673511 Report

Quoted By: >>15673534 >>15673592

>>15665672
>>15665858
Najibullah Quraishi did a documentary about this, its pretty fucked up.

It's just a horrible fucked up country in general.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:22:31 No.15673534 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673511
I know an Afghan kid who bragged to me about fucking his female cousin in the ass. Smart and nice guy, but damn he had some perversions I tell ya.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO most bro goat.png, 84KiB, 627x907

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:25:52 No.15673566 Report

Quoted By: >>15673823

>>15673351

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:28:06 No.15673583 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668335
*defacation

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:28:36 No.15673592 Report

Quoted By: >>15673924

>>15673511

Afghanistan is famous for it. It used to be that the higher-ups almost exclusively preferred young boys to anything else.

Worse than /b/.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:50:24 No.15673823 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673566
Thanks

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:55:57 No.15673875 Report

Quoted By: >>15673892

>>15667811
>take half-dose of LSD
>brain goes into motherfucking Cray supercomputer mode
>come out 12 hours later with a detailed map on a huge sheet
>no clue how you drew such a huge map while in those tiny tunnels

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:57:22 No.15673892 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673875
shit's cray

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 22:59:35 No.15673924 Report

Quoted By:

>>15673592
That's higher-ups everywhere. People in higher circles of power anywhere in the world are disproportionately pederast, possibly even majority-pederast. I'm not sure what the connection is, but it is definitely there.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 23:24:07 No.15674181 Report

Quoted By: >>15674193

Grandfather:

>>Be Petty Officer in Royal Navy.
>>Be innasubmarine HMS Trenchant in the Pacific.
>>Captain Arthur Hezlett spots lone ship approaching.
>> Jap merchant, unarmed.
>> Sub surfaces and deck gun is manned.
>> Immediately people start raining over the sides, Korean forced workers.
>>Boarding party investigates, finds tonnes of ordnance, the ship is destined for Java.
>> Japanese troops on board emerge from below decks, boarding party nopes the fuck off the ship.
>> Ship is sunk along with the Japs, Koreans planted on the next neutral boat they see.

Just an average event, but it's a better day's work than I've ever done.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 23:25:41 No.15674193 Report

Quoted By:

>>15674181

Also the largest ship sunk by the Royal Navy during the war in the Pacific was sunk by Trenchant, but it isn't much of a story.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO operatorchan.jpg, 324KiB, 520x759

Anonymous Mon 08 Apr 2013 23:25:43 No.15674194 Report

Quoted By:

>>15668078
His face when......

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO shit wars.png, 146KiB, 1310x1214

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 00:33:44 No.15675076 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 00:49:32 No.15675273 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 00:55:51 No.15675357 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669081
You don't happen to be Danish because I used to play WoW with a guy who told basically the same story.

I just remember it involved thermals, fucking and a lot of laughter.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:00:40 No.15675435 Report

Quoted By:

Be a volunteer at VA hospital Vietnam vet comes in all the time is a total bro, wears his medals on an old army jacket.
>inna Vietnam
>get taken POW
>6 months in a camp daily torture
>more POWs come in
>make plans for escape
>one of the guards likes to fuck POWs in the ass and sodomy n gay shit
>find piece of barbed wire from cages
>guy goes in to get daily railing
>gets barbed wire wrapped around his neck and choked out
>take knife and pistol and rifle
>sneak to the makeshift armory (atleast the hut they kept the extra guns in)
>arm everyone
>guards patrolling and in the guard towers taken out
>they light up the poorly constructed barracks with diesel fuel and cut down the hut with AKs and M16's
>2 gook officers come running out and realize they are fucked
>one officer literally gets a red hot rifle barrel shoved up his ass
>the other officer is skinned alive
>they arm themselves with just about anything they can find
>make their way inna jungle carrying the wounded
>30 clicks later they are approaching a FOB
>they are engaged from the rear
>mow down about 20 gooks
>guys at the FOB open fire and accidentally 3 of the POWs
>start screaming USA Friendly
>ceasefire
>guy gets a silver star and a Purple Heart, would have got MOH but before he got shipped back to Murrica got caught with weed
>he re-upped his contract and went back to Vietnam until the occupation was over

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:15:04 No.15675639 Report

Quoted By: >>15676022

VA volunteer again, desert storm vet told me this one
>Be onna night guard duty for FOB in Kuwait
>cooking some MREs around 4 am
>movement inside the buffer zone
>can't tell wtf it is
>grab night vision
>fucking camel spider
>spider gets inna fence
>it is all over the fucking place
>a couple guys are running around trying to hit it with 2x4's
>one guy finally hits it
>couple more guys come out to see what the commotion was
>private dipshit wants to take a picture holding it
>turns around to grab his ruck sack with his camera
>the spider comes to life and lunges on the private
>bites down right on his ass cheek
>start beating the spider with the 2x4's and inadvertently beating the private
>someone tries to stab the spider
>misses and gets the private right in the ass
>officer comes out to see what the yelling is
>radios are going crazy no one knows what's happening
>officer sees a big spider latched into a privates ass and a knife sticking out
>yells "SOMEONE SHOOT THAT THING"
>the private yells "DONT FUCKING SHOOT IT!"
>finally a good swing with a 2x4 and the spider is dead and lets go
>private pulls out his sidearm and unloads into the spider
>rushed to the medical tent
>wasn't in Kuwait a week and already shipped back to the states
>heard the private lost most of that ass cheek
>new rules on dealing with spiders in FOB
>shoot them

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:26:06 No.15675796 Report

Quoted By: >>15677323

VA volunteer one more then I gotta go to work, a diff Vietnam vet told me this one
>be inna jungle
>come across ransacked village
>clearing huts
>come across a Vietcong fucking some elderly woman in the ass
>he dives for his guns
>gets shot in the face
>elderly woman is grateful she's not being raped anymore but is crying
>clear rest of village
>elderly woman won't leave the guy who saved her alone
>doesn't speak a lick of English
>translator comes over and tells her she needs to leave him alone
>she says she wants to thank him for saving her with sex
>squad leader says go ahead we are waiting here for the next squad ahead of us to get back
>guy takes the elderly woman inna hut
>hear grunting and groaning
>he comes out a little but later with a look of shame on his face
>everyone is laughing and picking on him
>asks him why the long face
>he says he thinks he killed the little old woman
>wtf?
>medic goes in, turns out she had a heart attack and died while fucking the young marine
>he said that's how he killed and old woman and got the clap all in one day

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:42:58 No.15675998 Report

Quoted By:

Not wartime but whatever
>stationed in SoCal
>rent an apartment across the border for leave time and weekends
>me and buddy Blake split the cost
>every fucking morning at 5:30 mexican kids pounding on our door asking for change
>every morning at yell out window for them to fuck off
>one weekend we get an extra day of leave
>go south of the border and get trashed
>barely make it home
>next morning without fail kids pounding on the door
>I am still a bit drunk tell them to fuck off
>noon time rolls around they come back
>pounding on the door asking for change
>fuck it I'm still asleep Blake can tell them to fuck off
>get up anyway for water and Tylenol
>Blake is getting some change together
>he is mad as fuck
>he whips it out the door at the kids and they scramble to pick it up
>he yells come back tomorrow I will have more for you
>ask him wtf?
>he says he's going to teach those little fuckers
>next morning rolls around
>Blake is up bright and early
>smell some shit burning
>get up and ask him wtf?
>he has about $5 in nickels in a frying pan getting red hot
>ask him what he's going to do
>he laughs and says you'll see
>the nickels are pretty much glowing
>a couple minutes later hear pounding on the door
>kids asking for change
>he opens the door and Empties the pan onto the ground
>see the kids start to pick it up
>they scream as the nickels are sticking to their hands
>they run home
>never saw those kids again
>Blake said it was the best $5 he ever spent

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:44:40 No.15676022 Report

Quoted By:

>>15675639
My sides will never forgive you

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:45:36 No.15676032 Report

Quoted By:

>>15667608
Oh my lord

My sides just imploded you bastard

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:46:18 No.15676036 Report

Quoted By:

Damn this thread is still going?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:49:05 No.15676065 Report

Quoted By:

This thread has uncontrollable amounts of win

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 91KiB, 653x515

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:51:03 No.15676088 Report

Quoted By: >>15677559

This doesn't apply but is a good story, RIP Tom

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 01:54:59 No.15676149 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 02:05:27 No.15676352 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669007

Or fuck it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 02:30:52 No.15676723 Report

Quoted By:

>>15669580
>>punctures soccer balls with knife and throws out to hajji kids
>>has a giggle at their excitement turning to severe dissapointment

Wow. What a piece of shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 02:33:32 No.15676759 Report

Quoted By: >>15676862

>>15669693
>Hey, she was probably happy to do it, since her culture's telling her it's her wifely duty and all. some crazy stuff over there.

You have not a single fucking clue what you're talking about.

>I took a class in college about gender roles in the middle east

Oh wow. Double fucking tarded.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 02:40:13 No.15676862 Report

Quoted By: >>15676940 >>15677570

>>15676759
So then are you imminently more qualified than that guy?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 02:45:30 No.15676940 Report

Quoted By:

>>15676862
Yes, a blind def retarded quadriplegic is more qualified.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 03:11:22 No.15677323 Report

Quoted By:

>>15675796

wow. watch out for them lil ol ladies.... i mean thats like a vied. vaginal improvised exsplosionfromyourdickinformofpuss device....

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 03:28:46 No.15677559 Report

Quoted By:

>>15676088

Fuck you, man :'(

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 03:29:44 No.15677570 Report

Quoted By: >>15677859

>>15676862
>imminently

More qualified than you, you illiterate fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 09 Apr 2013 03:52:10 No.15677859 Report

Quoted By:

>>15677570

you must be italian and have no fathers or grandfathers to hear war stories from. im sorry.

i will accept a tale of your grandmothers whoredom in the war instead.

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