Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
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No.8782471 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
you are in charge of spearheading an alien invasion of earth. Your job is to ensure every single HUMAN is killed in the cleanest and quickest method possible, then disposed of cleanly. You are ordered to withhold from damaging the ecosystems or environments irreparably. Any method you can come up with available to you.