You guys...
http://codfanfic.wikia.com/wiki/An_Egg_In_TimeOn a swag and itchy morning, Gordon Freeman sat on blackops. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His cock ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Shepard to love someone with a proud asshole?
Quietly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a big fierce shoe, all on a summer's day. I wish my Shepard would fuck me, in his own powerful way..."
"Do you?" Shepard sat down beside Gordon Freeman and put his hand on Gordon Freeman's mouth. "I think that could be arranged."
Gordon Freeman gasped manually. "But what about my proud asshole?"
"I like it," Shepard said loudly. "I think it's gay."
They came together and their kiss was like a noobtubbing hardscoper.
"I love you," Gordon Freeman said quickly.
"I love you too," Shepard replied and fucked him.
They bought a bear, moved in together, and lived eagerly ever after.