/mlp/ - My Little Pony » Thread #2043871

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Luna !zwKM9MP2/U Sun 20 May 2012 23:26:24 No.2043871 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>2046596

Suddenly a Human beside you what do you do?
>Tries to hug me
>Say I have to go to the moon
>He hops up on my back
>Tell him I have to go alone
>Says he will help me with my work, whatever
>Too heavy can barely fly
>half way to the moon notice human is not moving
>Shake him off and tell him I'll see him later
>Never see him again

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 May 2012 23:29:20 No.2043903 Report

Quoted By:

>when one foreveralone meets another

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 20 May 2012 23:32:07 No.2043948 Report

Quoted By:

>Human next to me as I am trying to play my harp
>Keeps showing me he hands
>Brags about how I wish I had them, Tell him I don't want them as they are too limiting
>Do like his pants though
>He takes them off for some reason
>Throws them to the side
>Starts talking about some plot or some shit
>Goes to touch me
>throw human out of house and keep his pants

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 00:06:27 No.2044487 Report

Quoted By:

>Human next to me as I'm baking muffins
>Keeps talking to me about how lonely I must be since nobody in Ponyville likes me
>What's he talking about? I have lots of friends
>Tell him I have friends all over Ponyville and Cloudsdale
>He says I'm just too dumb to know any better
>Says he'll be my special friend and tries to touch me
>Run out of house crying, get far away from that human
>I'm not dumb, I'm just different

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 00:12:00 No.2044587 Report

Quoted By:

>tries the want it need it spell
>I fire it at him
>Accidentally lands on his manhood.
>rape

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 00:22:21 No.2044769 Report

Quoted By:

>OH BOY NEW PONY IN TOWN
>Wait this one isn't a pony at all
>Oh well, NEW WHATEVER IT IS IN TOWN
>Sure looks funny, says he's a hoomin or something
>Throw him a Pinkie party
>Ask him if he want's to be my friend
>He starts touching me and saying this is what friends do with each other
>I didn't want this kind of a friend

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 00:29:16 No.2044882 Report

Quoted By: >>2046105 >>2054780

>find a human near the Everfree forest
>he's peeing on a tree
>he finishes and puts his thing away
>I tell him I'd like to be a tree
>he turns around surprised
>I tell him I could be a tree for him
>he backs up, the poor critter
>I move closer to the nervous critter
>maintaining eye contact so he doesn't run away
>he falls on his plot losing eye contact
>he jumps back up and runs away
>I think he likes me

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 01:41:49 No.2046105 Report

Quoted By:

>>2044882
This.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 02:14:38 No.2046596 Report

Quoted By:

>>2043871

>bucking trees for apples
>kick at another tree
>hooves travels all the way through-something
>turn around
>see a dead human with his face caved in

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 02:24:33 No.2046755 Report

Quoted By:

>............
>.....................
>..........
>..................
>..................
>...........
>........................................
>.................

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 02:57:16 No.2047212 Report

Quoted By:

>human shows up
>Celestia wants me to study him
>pretty messy, stays up really late wakes up around 10
>Constantly complains there is nothing too eat, even though I gave him tons of flowers
>Talks about a waifu always visiting fluttershy
>Seems to get a long good with spike
>Laughs when I told him luna and celestia's job taught me this thing called physics
>Told celestia about this, guards showed up and took anon to the castle, haven't seen him since
>That was a few months ago

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 03:03:32 No.2047312 Report

Quoted By:

>Usual night, drinking at the bar
>After last call I shuffle out the door
>Can't walk through town, don't want to spend another night in the drunk tank
>The woods should be fine for tonight
>Sit down under a tree
>Suddenly a strange creature comes out of the bushes
>It walks on two legs and looks really weird
>It tells me it's lost and asks if I can show it the way to town
>Man, how much did I drink tonight?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 03:04:59 No.2047327 Report

Quoted By:

>'human' thing in town
>Might want to see what it is all about
>Ask him what his talent is
>He says he is multitalented
>Laugh
>Ask him what magic he does, if he can fly, or run fast
>Worthless as an earthpony
>Says he might have one trick up his sleeve
>He puts his hand behind my ears and mane
>Starts doing something
>Oh what is this I don't even
>loose ability to stand
>puts another hand on belly
>Can't resist
>Starts scratching it
>Don't recall anything but pure ecstasy for 20 minutes

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 03:17:49 No.2047561 Report

Quoted By:

>OUT FOR MY SIXTH JOG OF THE DAY
>BEFORE LUNCH
>GOTTA STAY FIT
>FIND STRANGE LOOKING CREATURE PASSED OUT BY THE FORREST
>WAKE IT'S LAZY ASS UP
>IT WANT'S TO ASK ME A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS
>NOPE IT'S WORKOUT TIME
>MAKE THAT CREATURE RUN WITH ME
>THEN LIFT WITH ME
>THEN STRETCH WITH ME
>THEN HAVE LUNCH OF PROTEIN SHAKE AND EIGHT RAW EGGS
>THEN PUSHUPS
>THEN LIFT WITH ME AGAIN
>SQUATS AND OATS

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 04:17:08 No.2048735 Report

Quoted By:

>Be walking through town
>Tall two legged thing walking through town too
>Asks me what I do
>Say I a DJ
>Ask what two legged thing is
>Says human
>Follows me to work
>Drop the bass
>Two legged thing dances funny
>Two legged thing drinks too much and passes out
>fuckin' human. Can't hold its liquor

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 06:41:30 No.2051220 Report

Quoted By: >>2051508 >>2051542

>no wings
>no horn
>no cutie mark
>less endurance than a newborn foal
>screams are pleasing though
>tastes kinda like pork

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 06:59:26 No.2051508 Report

Quoted By: >>2053825

>>2051220

You are aware that humans are much, much more endurable than any species of equine right?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:01:17 No.2051542 Report

Quoted By:

>>2051220
Yeah, pinkamina only scares me if I am a pony

Scootaloo !!avuTshBcAQi

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Scootaloo !!avuTshBcAQi Mon 21 May 2012 07:06:28 No.2051639 Report

Quoted By:

>Human appears beside me
>HEY, YOU'RE SCOOTALOO!
"Y-yeah?"
>OH MAN, YOU'RE SO CUTE FOR A CHICKEN
"But I'm a peg-"
>Human tries to pick me up and hug me
>Struggle but grip to strong
>Human squeezes harder
>Try to breath
>Chocking from grip
>Suffocates in the arms of a human

feelsbadpony.png

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:20:13 No.2051876 Report

Quoted By: >>2051955 >>2052036 >>2052139

>human shows up
>on a totally untelated note, horrific porn involving the citizens of ponyville starts circulating around town
>Applejack is arrested for incest, despite her claiming that she never sdid such a thing
>Princess Celestia is forced to resign from the throne, after pictures show she has been molesting ponies. She claims she didn't, but the pictures prove otherwise
>Rumors surface that Fluttershy has a penis. She doesn't leave the house for months
All this drama only days after he arrived in ponyville! Poor guy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:24:13 No.2051955 Report

Quoted By:

>>2051876

I could totally see this happen

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:28:28 No.2052036 Report

Quoted By:

>>2051876
So would on-show fanart here be IRL in the cartoon world?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:32:31 No.2052104 Report

Quoted By:

This thread is gold

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:34:40 No.2052139 Report

Quoted By:

>>2051876
this is why im glad Equestria doesnt exist. No dumbass brony can fuck it all up

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 07:53:02 No.2052448 Report

Quoted By:

>human appears
>technology takes a gigantic leap
>he becomes a ceo and makes tons of bits
>many ponies are now poor or jobless
>he works the poor and pays them next to nothing
>confront him
>he rapes me and threatens to kill Applebloom
>humans

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 08:00:46 No.2052580 Report

Quoted By: >>2054033 >>2054780

>visit Rarity
>find human there getting measured
>"there you are!"
>he starts visibly shaking
>oh gosh, I know I'm okay looking but he seems really nervous
>tell him not to worry while Rarity fusses over his odd measurements
>come up next to him and smell him
>tell him he smells nice
>he tells Rarity he'll be back and starts walking to the door
>I block it, I'm not done talking to him yet
>he looks around, spots a window, and jumps through it
>humans are so shy

postin fo dubz

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postin fo dubz Mon 21 May 2012 09:01:14 No.2053635 Report

Quoted By:

> Human walks into my library.
> Ask him what he needs.
> He says he needs me.
> Starts touching me in odd places.
> Use magic to turn him into pasta.
> Count how much pasta.
> 188 lbs worth of it.
> Get pasta dubz.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:09:44 No.2053785 Report

Quoted By:

>Next to a human
>They demand a hug
>Accept
>Wait 2 hours
>They fall asleep from being drained of love
>This is good
>Move on to the next house
>Get more love
>Decide to start bringing minions along and having them transform into other ponies
>New food source acquired

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:12:20 No.2053825 Report

Quoted By: >>2053882

>>2051508
Yes. Ancient humans were endurance hunters that chased their prey into submission.

This, and the highly nutritional food source of other animals helped drive our evolution into bipedal predators.

BIPREDALTORS

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:15:24 No.2053874 Report

Quoted By: >>2053912

>Teaching weaklings about confidence
>Human Shows up
>"If the bitch says no, slap the hoe!"
>He's misusing my rhyming style
>Besmirching my good name
>Gore him with my tusks
>Business is better than ever

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:16:27 No.2053882 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053825

Aren't we octopedal?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:18:05 No.2053912 Report

Quoted By:

>>2053874
what tusks

>on moon
>a human suddenly appears
>it dies

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:20:44 No.2053965 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:22:10 No.2053983 Report

Quoted By:

>Human appears next to me
>It won't stop staring
>Says my wings are pretty
>Ask it how it got here
>It shrugs
>Then walks up and wraps its arms around my neck
>Assume that this is how humans greet royalty
>It falls unconscious for no apparent reason and lands on the ground with an enormous smile on its face
>It's drooling all over
>Have it brought to a castle room and put to bed
>This is the third one this week

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:24:43 No.2054033 Report

Quoted By:

>>2052580

Then what happens?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:29:40 No.2054132 Report

Quoted By:

>>Odd creature appears
>>It gawks at you and your brood
>>You demand to know what it is and where it has come from
>>It starts touching your leg holes
>>Order brood to restrain the creature
>>It is pulled back and held down
>>The creature is apparently male, as it has ejaculated in its clothing
>>Order brood to feed the thing to the plebs
>>Ignore screams as it is dragged away
>>Return to plotting next scheme against ponykind
>>This time you will be infiltrating... a funeral

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:29:44 No.2054134 Report

Quoted By:

>Have hoo-mun brought to palace
>In the mood so order him to strip
>Had to squint to see his member
>Laugh my ass off
>He commits suicide by jumping off the balcony
>Decide to take frustration out on a guard instead

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:36:21 No.2054268 Report

Quoted By:

>Making dresses, because Bitches love dresses.
>Two legged thing comes into the shop
>Asks it what it is, why it's there, and if it knows how long I've been cleaning those floors
>It says it's a human and that I'm worst pony
>Spike mauls him
>Good ol' Spike
>Fluttershy takes the body
>Need to get that pony laid
>Makes Spike clean floors of blood by exploiting his crush on me.
>Good ol' Spike

Scootaloolol !ScOOTs5iPE

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Scootaloolol !ScOOTs5iPE Mon 21 May 2012 09:43:53 No.2054427 Report

Quoted By:

>human next to me as im practicing flying tricks
>he stays there and keeps watching me for some reason
>screams and cheers me on when i do a rain cloud double back flip
>wondering why he cares so much
>when i land he runs up to me and tries to give me something he calls a high five
>he has this weird orange residue on his fingers that smell pretty good, but its really gross
>notice he has sweat stains on his armpit and some strange, scruffy hair along his neck
>creeped out by the situation so i fly away as quickly as possible
>look over my shoulder and hes running after me crying to himself
>heh heh

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:49:43 No.2054547 Report

Quoted By:

>Working on new line of clothing when bell rings.
>Find that weird bald biped standing in your store.
>He wants some new clothes.
>Doesn't have a bit on him.
>Not odd considering he hasn't worked a day since his arrival.
>Be element of generosity.
>Retrieve measuring tape from atelier.
>Return to find ape in the final stages of undressing.
>It is considered rude to have your genitalia in the open.
>It's also completely unnecessary.
>Why do I smell cheese.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:52:49 No.2054625 Report

Quoted By: >>2054669 >>2054780

>leave Rarity's to visit Twilight
>human is talking to her
>I walk up beside him and wink
>he gets scared and asks Twilight to teleport him
>Twilight laughs and says I'm harmless
>I agree and scoot closer to the human rubbing my head against his odd blue legs
>he begs twilight to teleport him
>Twilight looks at me funny
>I give her my most reassuring smile, I even show her my teeth
>she backs up a step, muttering something about Celestia
>she then grabs him and vanishes in a poof of smoke
>I thought Twilight was supposed to be the smart one

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 09:54:56 No.2054669 Report

Quoted By:

>>2054625

;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 10:00:27 No.2054780 Report

Quoted By: >>2054793

>>2044882
>>2052580
>>2054625

I hate, hate myself for getting a boner over this.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 10:01:00 No.2054790 Report

Quoted By:

>Be in the back of boutique
>Getting gems for a new fashion line
>Come back, find the door open
>The fuck?
>Hear Sweetie Belle whimpering
>Investigate
>some horrid gangly thing has his hands all over my sister
>shit=flipped
>strangle him with some very strong silk
>have Twilight teleport the body somewhere discreet
>Blueblood's bedroom

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 10:01:15 No.2054793 Report

Quoted By:

>>2054780

there must be moar!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 10:01:50 No.2054801 Report

Quoted By:

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