SIMI VALLEY, California - The Republican primary race for President of the United States was rocked today by the announcement that a relatively unknown ultra-conservative cutting-edge scientist exhumed the body of former president Ronald Reagan and brought him back to life. The newly undead Reagan immediately announced his candidacy for the office he formerly held, and is now leading in polls by a hefty margin. Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and John McCain all formally dropped from the race and instructed their earned delegates and supporters to vote for Reagan as soon as the news broke. They collectively issued this statement:
"This entire primary race was based on us trying to convince voters that we were the most like Reagan. Huckabee was like Reagan religiously, Romney was like him economically, and McCain was a hawk like him on defense. With Reagan entering the race, there doesn't seem to be any point any more. We were unprepared for this shocking turn of events, but view this as a windfall. Now we have someone who can win in November. We all endorse Zombie Reagan 100%."
>>http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Reagan_rises_from_the_dead_and_announces_his_2008_candid
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