Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
[35 / 5 / ?]

Tom Cruise: "Ron Paul will be president... It's just a matter of when."

No.699868 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Tom Cruise made a surprising announcement this week. He is offering Republican candidate, Ron Paul, a free membership to join the International Association of Scientologists (IAS). "I want Ron Paul to know he is welcomed by some Americans," said Tom Cruise. "We do not require him to speak with a Scientologist counselor or have an E-meter evaluation. In light of recent events, I feel we need to give a free membership coupon, once in a while, to those we admire."

This comes only after weeks of protests on the Church of Scientology. A SURGE in online traffic after a protest against the Church of Scientology across the globe this week overloaded a server and temporarily crashed hundreds of websites. Tom Cruise hopes the youngsters that Ron Paul has so much influence over, will bolster support for Scientology. "I've seen Anonymous do amazing things for Ron Paul. Just look at the internet [laughs]. I love Ron Paul! And Scientology loves Ron Paul. Soon, Anonymous will learn to love us too," says Tom Cruise. The stated goal of Anonymous is to "systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form," which they believe is a dangerous cult.

The attacks against Scientology by these "Anonymous" users have in recent days, frightened Tom Cruise and the followers of Scientology. They're hacking the church's main servers and releasing videos targeting (and some say threatening) the religion. "Oh, Yes. The threat is very real, and very disturbing. Scientology may look a little nutty to the outside world, I understand this, but I hope Ron Paul will be the ying to our yang," said a teary eyed Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise was also kind enough to offer a few Ron Paul "Revolution" bumper stickers and a complementary Xenu lunch box. "We need more people like Ron Paul," said Cruise.

http://www.studytech.org/2001/12/cnntom_cruise_interview_with_l.php