/r9k1/ - ROBOT9000 (Feb. 2008 - Jan. 2011)

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Anonymous !hMeVUAv.Xs Mon 18 Oct 2010 01:29:00 No.11589779 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

ITT: Wat stories

>walking with some friends down a street
>see car coming up behind us
>glance over at the car as they drive past
>old white guy driving
>young back guy in the passenger seat holding a huge real snake
>me and the black guy make eye contact
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:29:00 No.11602988 Report

Quoted By:

Working at Subway, I had a woman get pissed as hell at me when I asked her which bread variety she wanted. Evidently, she was on a zero-carb diet (which is stupid- you NEED carbs) and expected me to know this just by looking at her. After fifteen minutes of damage control, I end up making her a "sandwich" (sans the bread- asking her if she wanted me to make a salad with the exact same ingredients pissed her off again) on the tissue that we normally wrap a sandwich up in. She also gets a large Diet Dr. Pepper (soda) and a cookie (remember: no-carb diet). Angrilly says, "Good day!" as she leaves the store. I say, "Right. That made my day," to which a customer laughs and another, a surgeon from the nearby hospital, says, "Good riddance, Bitch. You all shouldn't have to put up with that kind of shit."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:35:00 No.11603043 Report

Quoted By:

>>11590148

Maybe he was just singing Frank Zappa's "For the Young Sophisticate"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:41:00 No.11603095 Report

Quoted By: >>11603119

>Having huge argument with girlfriend
>This after a night out, so it's 5:30am
>Screaming at each other at a bus stop on the edge of the city
>Out of nowhere, a large native american man walks up to us
>Tells me, I must find peace with her, for she will not change her ways
>Walks off into the night
>wat

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO wat.jpg, 42KiB, 602x453

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:42:00 No.11603113 Report

Quoted By: >>11603143 >>11603167

>Be on class trip in Prague
>Walk around city at night drunk
>See dude walking past us with one hamburger in each hand and eating them simultaneously
>Decide to take picture with him
>He refuses, we take one anyway
>Pic related

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:42:00 No.11603119 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603095
... that came across as deep and he damn well knew it, I'm sure.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:45:00 No.11603143 Report

Quoted By: >>11603166

>>11603113
Fuck Yeah Prague! This makes me proud for being czech.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:49:00 No.11603166 Report

Quoted By: >>11603179

>>11603143

That your countrymen can eat 2 ridiculously large burgers at the same time?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:49:00 No.11603167 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603113
Can they make a decent hamburger in Prague? I'm doubtful.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:50:00 No.11603179 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603166
Hell yeah! That is something to be proud of, isn't it?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 22:56:00 No.11603222 Report

Quoted By:

>be senior in high school
>touring college campus in NYC
>after tour ends we walk around on our own
>see a small pile of shredded cheese in the middle of a path
>wat

captcha: what bunown

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:10:00 No.11603340 Report

Quoted By:

>>11602864
>>11602864

How is living without alcohol?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:16:00 No.11603397 Report

Quoted By:

>walk out of the door
>get on the floor
>no dinosaur
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:25:00 No.11603479 Report

Quoted By:

>13 years old
>get home from school
>all the lights are off in my house
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:26:00 No.11603485 Report

Quoted By:

Something I did which probably made someone else say wat.
>get to large auditorium for class before anyone else
>find binders / folders that people had left behind from a class
>open them to a random page, write "PENIS PENIS PENIS" in large block letters. then leave them where I'd found them.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1286327018885.jpg, 71KiB, 300x300

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:27:00 No.11603498 Report

Quoted By:

>high school graduation trip to Spain
>2AM, fell asleep on the beach next to gf
>wake up, feel a hand on my ass
>wat
>again
>turn around
>French dude is lying behind us, holding a bag of pot
>asks me (in terrible Engrish) if I have a light
>no dude, I don't smoke
>he leaves
>gf is still asleep
>gym/PE teacher is observing us from the road above
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:41:00 No.11603628 Report

Quoted By:

>driving to high school (inb4 underage, it was 5 or so years ago)
>see approx. 7 dead dear scattered all about the road withing a 10 foot radius, blood everywhere
>rural road so never any transfer trucks
wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:46:00 No.11603687 Report

Quoted By:

>Go into college on my day off by accident
>Believe I'm late
>Run to college
>Swing door to room open
>Room full of strangers
>Wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:47:00 No.11603701 Report

Quoted By:

>in 3rd grade
>go to bathroom with best friend (buddy system)
>walk in on 3 boys peeing in the same urinal
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:48:00 No.11603711 Report

Quoted By: >>11603857

What the shit this thread is still live?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 18 Oct 2010 23:59:00 No.11603820 Report

Quoted By:

>Walking through school park across the soccerfield
>Overweight orange haired retard is walking up and down a hill, flailing his arms like he's being attacked by bees and muttering gibberish
>Occasionally he takes out $5 from his pocket, observes it, and puts it back into his pocket
>I stare at him for a bit, then walk off
>By the time I'm across the field, he's spinning around
>WAT

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:03:00 No.11603857 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603711
I miss when threads would last a week.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:04:00 No.11603869 Report

Quoted By: >>11604107

>In Hancocks parking lot packing some shit into my car
>See 2 weaboo girls with a huge roll of foam across the parking lot
>They're screaming "WE GOT FOAM" and laughing maniacally
>They spout internet memes and continue laughing as they struggle to get the foam into their car, which is parked in a handicap spot
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:05:00 No.11603875 Report

Quoted By:

Is this thread archived yet? I think we need to archive this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:08:00 No.11603902 Report

Quoted By: >>11603911

>driving to work.
>notice dead animal in the middle of the road.
>drive closer, realize it's a shark.
>dead shark in the middle of the road.
>wat

related story.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:08:00 No.11603911 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603902
shit, here's the story.

http://www.wesh.com/news/16673798/detail.html

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:10:00 No.11603919 Report

Quoted By:

>Chilling near hot drinks machine at school
>Guy in his first year walks up to it
>Doesn't read/notice instructions on how to use it, or is just really freaking weird
>Puts in his money
>Clearly has no idea what to do next
>Presses the water button, pouring it straight down the drain
>Pushes the button to pick his drink (which gives you a cup full of powder)
>Looks in cup, looks confused, places cup on nearby table, leaving it there
>Presses the sugar button, wasting it as well
>Looks angry, walks off rather fast
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:13:00 No.11603962 Report

Quoted By:

>twelve years old
>walking to grocery store to get soup and milk
>car comes over hill
>doing maybe 45 or 50 in a 30 zone
>as car passes, passenger throws plastic baggie of flour at me
>it misses by like thirty feet
>wat

>walking back from store
>same road
>same car comes roaring at me from opposite direction
>chucks a five-pound bag of flour this time
>misses by like ten feet
>hits same spot as last bag
>double wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:14:00 No.11603980 Report

Quoted By:

This needs 3 more requests to archive, guys.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO navy_uniform.gif, 95KiB, 343x1024

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:15:00 No.11603987 Report

Quoted By:

>high with friends
>go down to a deli to get some munchies
>bit giggly, but alright
>walk past club
>creepy old man in navy outfit smoking cigar (pic related) and a glass of scotch
>"HI BOYS HAVE A GOOD NIGHT TONIGHT"
>he turns around
>crouches down and starts dancing towards a bunch of girls
>"Hey girls, like my dancing?"
>Notice he's wearing a bouncers armband and holding a walkie talkie
>he works there
>eating eggs benedict at deli
>"Wait, what the fuck was that old man doing?"
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:15:00 No.11604004 Report

Quoted By:

>walking down the street
>a guy comes up to me out of nowhere
>he asks "hey, do you have a smoke?"
>he's shirtless, has a huge python around his neck and shoulders and a fucking katana in his hand
>"sure, here you go."
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:21:00 No.11604047 Report

Quoted By:

Thread 11589779 has already been archived.

It is probably still waiting to be reviewed by the mods, which means it can take a few days until it is available in the archive.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:21:00 No.11604053 Report

Quoted By:

this was here last night

wat

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 541px-ToweringSpy.png, 280KiB, 541x600

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:27:00 No.11604098 Report

Quoted By:

>>11599714
...Like this?

By the way, this thread is awesome and has brightened my day. Thanks everyone.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:27:00 No.11604107 Report

Quoted By:

>>11603869
are you trolling for newfags there boy?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:37:00 No.11604231 Report

Quoted By:

>In the city with a friend
>Jehovah's Witnesses out of fucking nowhere
>They start talking
>Friend says "Allahu Ackbar" while noding slightly
>We walk away leaving them completely perplexed
>Wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:43:00 No.11604294 Report

Quoted By:

>Extremely heavy rain
>Wind is extremely strong
>It's fucking freezing and there's frost everywhere
>I'm taking cover in some alcove bit with a few other people
>Hear them complaining about the cold
>See some guy walking down the street
>He's wearing sandals, shorts and a button up shirt
>Smiles and waves at us
>Wave back
>He carries on without a care in the world, walking at a casual pace and whistling
>Nobody there complains about the cold anymore

He was a pretty cool guy.

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog Tue 19 Oct 2010 00:46:00 No.11604330 Report

Quoted By: >>11606203

>im 16
>working at drive thru at wendy's, my first job
>car full of like, 4 or 5 obese hicks ride up
>they are blaring opera
>they order one small coke and the driver politely thanks me in the most southern accent I've ever heard
>hauls ass out of drive thru
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 01:02:00 No.11604507 Report

Quoted By:

>Walking home
>Suddenly "BEEP BEEP"
>Someone beeping a little horn
>And actually yelling it
>Turn around
>Old man in a mobility scooter

dîgî†åldîsçø !uMxHpdL9ng

dîgî†åldîsçø !uMxHpdL9ng Tue 19 Oct 2010 01:05:18 No.11604539 Report

Quoted By:

>walking to school
>car drives by
>beeps at me
>driver shouts and says "hiiiii!"
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 01:10:00 No.11604602 Report

Quoted By:

>walking with some friends down a street
>see car coming up behind us
>glance over at the car as they drive past
>old white guy driving
>young back guy in the passenger seat holding a huge real snake
>me and the black guy make eye contact
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 01:24:00 No.11604777 Report

Quoted By:

>be walking out of a show with friends.
>fire marshalls shut the show down.
>fire marshall and two building inspectors standing outside.
>drunk friend walks up to the fine gentlemen
>shouts "THE JEWS ARE BACK!" and proceeds to walk away

wut

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 01:41:00 No.11605004 Report

Quoted By:

>driving to supposedly "haunted" road in the middle of the forest
>drive through cornfields and shit, it's getting spooky
>eventually arrive at the road after about 30 minutes
>nobody is there, looks totally desolate
>giant stuffed animal dog in the middle of the road
>friend picks it up and still has it ~2 years later
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 03:18:00 No.11606203 Report

Quoted By: >>11606262

>>11604330
fucking badass

speculator explascr

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog Tue 19 Oct 2010 03:21:00 No.11606262 Report

Quoted By:

>>11606203
wat

blox2tehcox

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 03:32:00 No.11606447 Report

Quoted By:

>>11599167
You shouldn't yell shit out windows, you're not good at it.

Anonymous !FinrayZMO.

Anonymous !FinrayZMO. Tue 19 Oct 2010 03:42:29 No.11606587 Report

Quoted By: >>11606844

>Working in petrol station
>Guy comes in, buys 2 quid petrol
>Asks for change in 1 pound coins
>Pays with 100 note
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 03:57:00 No.11606844 Report

Quoted By:

>>11606587
Didn't understand two words of this God, it's like you're from another country or something.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 04:57:00 No.11607693 Report

Quoted By:

>work at ice cream store
>we also serve chili dogs
>guy asks for chili in his blizzard(this wasn't DQ, but similar)
>"wat"
>straight face: "I'm serious"
>double wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 05:03:00 No.11607777 Report

Quoted By:

>Past midnight, we decide to go to Denny's
>6 people, only one small car, so we stick one guy in the trunk
>Drive to Denny's, get out, open truck, and guy crawls out
>Black guy loitering in the parking lot sees this goes "DAYUM MAN, YOUSE A SUCKA"
>wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2010 07:25:00 No.11609726 Report

Quoted By:

Just happened today

>waiting with friends, one male, one female (gorgeous)
>making small talk, everything's fine
>old woman comes up behind female friend, growls loudly in her ear
>continues walking like nothing ever happened
>mfw

Later on I learned she does that to small children

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