/r9k1/ - ROBOT9000 (Feb. 2008 - Jan. 2011)

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Anonymous !!Bfg7MXZ93 Sat 11 Dec 2010 08:44:00 No.12396403 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Time for some useless super powers.

>mind control ability
>can only control your grandparents

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:11:00 No.12398143 Report

Quoted By:

>being able to make woman become instantly attracted to you
>only able to attract fat black girls

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Soth !!knPhGLZt6

Soth !!knPhGLZt6 Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:11:00 No.12398145 Report

Quoted By: >>12398168

>The Ability to listen to music anywere, anytime without headphones or speakers
>only song that plays is Baby, Baby by Justin Bieber

Soth !!knPhGLZt6

Soth !!knPhGLZt6 Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:13:00 No.12398163 Report

Quoted By:

>the ability to have sex with anyone
>only in the missionary possition for the perpose of pro creation

I spelt shit wrong,

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:14:00 No.12398167 Report

Quoted By:

biggest breasts in the world

on a hairy man

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:14:00 No.12398168 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398145
i already have this power minus the justin bieber

its called MEMORY you retard

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:15:00 No.12398175 Report

Quoted By:

ability to become invisible

only when passed out drunk

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:16:00 No.12398176 Report

Quoted By: >>12398210

>control of which of your bodily-fluid emitting orifices releases which bodily fluid

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:16:00 No.12398186 Report

Quoted By:

ability to read minds

works only on Alzheimer's patients

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:18:00 No.12398199 Report

Quoted By:

see the future, everyone dies at exactly the same time. anticlimactic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:20:00 No.12398210 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398176
like shitting out your dick?

THATS USEFUL!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:20:00 No.12398212 Report

Quoted By:

>The ability to summon any chocolate bar at will
>except twix

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:20:00 No.12398214 Report

Quoted By: >>12398340 >>12398424

>The ability to teleport objects

>Only works on the non-marshmallow part of generic Lucky Charms cereal

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:20:00 No.12398218 Report

Quoted By:

>ability to attract swarms of bees, who will congregate on your body without stinging you
>the only thing you can say while this power is activated is "I'M COVERED IN BEES!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:30:00 No.12398295 Report

Quoted By:

>Lichdom: Removes your heart from your chest so you can store it elsewhere. As long as it's kept safe, it will continue beating no matter how far away you are.
>The rest of your organs are still just as vulnerable.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:31:00 No.12398307 Report

Quoted By: >>12398413

>Incredible insight
>into anyone's problems but your own.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:32:00 No.12398321 Report

Quoted By: >>12398447

>World's fastest woman.
>Still slower than your male rapist.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:35:00 No.12398340 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398214

This thread is for USELESS superpowers, anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:36:00 No.12398348 Report

Quoted By: >>12398358 >>12398517

>mastery of debating
>only affects people open enough about their beliefs to attend debates

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:38:00 No.12398358 Report

Quoted By: >>12398517

>>12398348
So you would be a master debater?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:39:00 No.12398364 Report

Quoted By: >>12398369 >>12398550

>ability to speak to God
>you are a homeless person

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:40:00 No.12398369 Report

Quoted By: >>12398428 >>12398443

>>12398364
>find God
>realize this life is worthless now that an afterlife is proven
>don't care about being homeless anymore

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:41:00 No.12398375 Report

Quoted By: >>12398384

>Ability to get jobs for people
>Only works on niggers

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:43:00 No.12398384 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398375
Now, do you mean black people in general or the "I can't afford to raise my children but I'll buy a rolex and twelve buckets of fried chicken" niggers?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:46:00 No.12398413 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398307
have it

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:47:00 No.12398424 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398214
>end world hunger, albeit with disgusting food

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:47:00 No.12398428 Report

Quoted By: >>12398471

>>12398369
>realize god's a jerk and sends everyone to a hell no matter what
>realize existence is futile
>kill self, taking as many as possible with you

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:47:00 No.12398432 Report

Quoted By:

>>breathe underwater
>>live in Saudi Arabia

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:49:00 No.12398443 Report

Quoted By: >>12398471

>>12398369

>God tells you suicide is a sin and you'll go to hell if you try it

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:49:00 No.12398447 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398321
alternatively
>World's smartest woman
>Still less rational than the average man

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:49:00 No.12398451 Report

Quoted By:

The ability to fly
>Only in the confines of an airplane

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:53:00 No.12398471 Report

Quoted By: >>12398506

>>12398428
>must be some way into heaven
>ask God what
>do everything according to his wishes, regardless of society or your own feelings

>>12398443
>implying I said anything about suicide
>he would just not care about his mortal life and live it doing whatever his head-God told him to do

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:57:00 No.12398506 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398471
>no heaven
>god is sadistic and childish by human standards

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:58:00 No.12398515 Report

Quoted By:

>ability to psychically caress someone's underwear, exerting force and experiencing touch
>only works on fundoshi

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:58:00 No.12398517 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398348
>>12398358
I am a debater... This thread has validated my life. Thank you, 4chan.

>Complete knowledge of the universe's functioning
>Laughed at by mediocracy

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 12:58:00 No.12398518 Report

Quoted By:

>can read minds
>be in coma in the rest of the life listening to random thoughts

or

>can change female body into male body and male into female
>all output results have black skin

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 13:02:00 No.12398550 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398364
>find out that God is the saddest, most lonely person who's ever existed
>live the rest of your life knowing that it only rains when God is crying

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 13:04:00 No.12398559 Report

Quoted By:

>ability to create fire from your hands
>it still burns you

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 13:07:00 No.12398589 Report

Quoted By:

>you can talk to animals
>they have nothing interesting to say

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 13:23:00 No.12398689 Report

Quoted By:

>Have ability in controlling electron flow
>Can only use it near magnetars

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 13:25:00 No.12398707 Report

Quoted By: >>12399345

>You have the power to get any girl in the world to have sex with you.

>But you never feel anything.

How the fuck can that help you in any way possible.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 15:17:00 No.12399345 Report

Quoted By:

>>12398707
Seduce wealthy women, film it, then blackmail them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 15:24:00 No.12399382 Report

Quoted By:

Everything you touch turns to gold.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 15:32:00 No.12399436 Report

Quoted By:

>most alpha guy ever
>can only have sex with /r9k/ femanons

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 15:51:00 No.12399583 Report

Quoted By:

Ability to summon spaghetti
into pockets

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 15:57:00 No.12399649 Report

Quoted By:

people that speak critically of me make my right ear burn.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 16:03:00 No.12399694 Report

Quoted By:

>>12396528
That the most fuckin' useful power ever. No self-doubts, no hesitation in speaking to anyone anymore, no inner temptations, no lazyness. It's like concentrated win.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 16:50:00 No.12399988 Report

Quoted By:

>>12399684
That is still useful. Hold your breath as long as possible. Breathe for 5 seconds and get necessary oxygen from the water. Hold breath again. Repeat.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 17:04:00 No.12400089 Report

Quoted By:

>People love you
>Only when you hate them

These are all viable things to hear from a schizophrenic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 23:06:00 No.12402672 Report

Quoted By:

>ability to slow down time
>for anyone except you

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Dec 2010 23:07:00 No.12402687 Report

Quoted By:

>Ability to have infinite money
>Nobody you know, including yourself, can use it

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