/r9k1/ - ROBOT9000 (Feb. 2008 - Jan. 2011)

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Anonymous !SWEDE/O0F. Thu 04 Mar 2010 02:53:00 No.7743764 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

ITT The awkwardest thing that happened today, presented by greentext.

>Gaze aimlessly on train
>realize you're looking at a hard-gay black man
>look away
>look at him again
>he nods
>arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop
>miss your stop

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:32:00 No.7746703 Report

Quoted By: >>7746769 >>7746775

>call college registrar office
>put on hold
>begin singing song that is now playing (stand by me)
>keep singing after I'm taken off hold
>girl at other end laughs at me
>hang up phone and email the office instead

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:33:00 No.7746718 Report

Quoted By:

Someone tried to hand me a flyer and I said "I'm sorry I don't speak english" I felt like such a cunt one second after I said it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:34:00 No.7746724 Report

Quoted By:

Good new, it is going to be archieved

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 7 times now.

Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 7743764

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:35:00 No.7746744 Report

Quoted By:

>step sister comes to kiss my cheek during new years eve party
>freak out
>miscalculate and end up kissing mouth instead
>fuuuuuuuuuuuu

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:36:00 No.7746753 Report

Quoted By: >>7746770

>>7746233

>daytime, 3pm
>gotta blow a lode
>watch porn
>ready to masturbate
>stand up, pull out the dick
>fapfappfaafpfap
>cum
>oh shit forgot to close curtains, lost in the moment i was
>loook outside
>neighbour watching

>fuck, she propably saw the whole fucking thing

And now for the problem part?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:37:00 No.7746769 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746703
>Haha, sorry, you should hear my drunken karaoke.
>crisis averted

Why does it seem that NO ONE on /r9k/ knows that humble humor is guaranteed to get you out of any situation, and gives you something to laugh about in the future if you end up ever meeting that person again, or see them on a regular basis?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:37:00 No.7746770 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746753
problem is it took him 20 seconds from start to finish

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:38:00 No.7746775 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746703
Why hung up? That would be the best service you have ever had.

Happy employees can go an extra mile for you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:38:00 No.7746776 Report

Quoted By: >>7746934

>sitting at home on couch in boxers
>entire family acting weird around me
> after an hour realise there is a hole in my boxers and my ball is hanging out

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:39:00 No.7746796 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746510

Oh man what a flashback I just had, I did a similar thing last period in year 8 music class, I was pretty lucky 'cos it was right at the end of the lesson and nobody noticed 'cos I was wearing black trousers

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:39:00 No.7746800 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746246

>Wear black wintercoat
>Feel like a huge pedofile

I am not following you there. What is pedo /fa/Shion anyway?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:40:00 No.7746807 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746612
I did. I'm now starting a Uni degree in may

bad_life_choice.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:41:00 No.7746824 Report

Quoted By:

>playing tetrisfriends in the computer lab
>someone on a computer behind me is also playing and challenges me to a 1v1 match
>I accept and beat him, then he beats me 2 times in a row and I get a little pissed
>I turn around and say his name
>he turns around and I realize our faces are really close
>....
>look away
>"....you play this game too much"
>turn back around

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:42:00 No.7746846 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746430

>central europe?

Yes, you are right. Czechfag

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:43:00 No.7746861 Report

Quoted By: >>7746900 >>7746901

Not from today but at least it's not baww

>hoping to attend this uni in my town
>neighbor is professor of my field, Classics
>I email him while stoned, think it'd be clever to send him an email in Latin
>whatever this doesn't weird him out thank God, he has me come down so he can show me around the department
>I go there, sit down in his office without being offered a seat so I'm flustered from the get-go just for that little faux pas
>notice he's on a blog with a picture of courage wolf
>spend more time looking at the picture than at him, can't look away from the courage wolf
>sound like a dumbass because I'm so nervous
>he's almost as awkward as me
>long awkward pauses, we're both visibly uncomfortable
>leave asap with the comfortable knowledge that Classics majors are probably mostly awkward nerds just like me

Blech I just feel bad because I made a bad impression and probably made the prof uncomfortable. Plus I really wanted to pick his brain but I was so nervous that I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say, and he was so shy that he didn't really take control of the conversation either :\

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:45:00 No.7746888 Report

Quoted By:

>Flatmate asks about rent over the summer
>Say they probably need to pay it
>They say they cant and will have to move out
>They expect you to say its okay and can sort something out
>You dont
>Awkward pause before leaving without saying anything to my room.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:45:00 No.7746891 Report

Quoted By:

>>7744926
>>7744926

haha, awesome. i usually end up stupid shit in those situations aswell.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:46:00 No.7746900 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746861
Dunno, good foundation for next time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:46:00 No.7746901 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746861
Go back and say "So I hear you like mudkips"
Or just get stoned with him? ARE YOU NUTS YOU CUNT?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:48:00 No.7746932 Report

Quoted By: >>7746978 >>7747138

>14 get stoned with some "cool kids"
>asshole leader of the bunch starts shooting me with a paintball gun, I'm stoned and paranoid and sitting in a corner basically begging him not to shoot me, yes I was being a pussy
>he pushes me so far that even his asshole friends are telling him to stop and that he's being a dick

>Immediately start defending him "oh it's not that bad guys I mean whatever"

Dammit I need to learn to man up. I'm still like that even to this day. My friends call me Butters.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:48:00 No.7746934 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746776
Congrats my fellow, you made me lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:49:00 No.7746938 Report

Quoted By: >>7746951

< Stand basically pressed up against this guys chest on super crowded train
<Realize hot guy is staring at me and blush/look away
<Continuously bump purse/body into hot guy and exchange smiles
<Pretend I am on my phone
<Nearly fall and hot guy catches me, smiles again
<Notice this guy keeps looking at me the whole time
<Stand there like a fucking idiot

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:50:00 No.7746951 Report

Quoted By: >>7747017

>>7746938
>Also realize you meant to do this > but are too fucking tired and busy thinking about hot guy

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:50:00 No.7746955 Report

Quoted By: >>7747161

>bike to school
>get a super runny nose
>talking to teacher about a test
>long trail of snot falls from my nose on her desk...
>entire class silent except for a few girls going "ewwwww"

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:51:00 No.7746963 Report

Quoted By:

>walking to pizza place on break at work
>talking to coworker about teachers we hated in high school
>mentions one of my favorite teachers and refers to him as "the cabbage patch guy" because of the way his cheeks were swollen due to steroids
>right as we walk in the pizza place, I say "he died recently"
>friend just goes "oh" and the pizza guy in there looked really sad

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:52:00 No.7746978 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746932
>My friends call me Butters.

Holy shit it must be very bad

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:55:00 No.7747017 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746951
Jessica... that you?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 06:59:00 No.7747087 Report

Quoted By:

>bumming around outside
>start talking to self
>someone walks by
>lift ipod to face and pretend that I was on the phone with nonexistent friend

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:00:00 No.7747096 Report

Quoted By:

>walking down beach
>see friend from school in distance
>shout friends name
>friend turns around
>turns out it's not a friend in the distance, but a small kid about 40 feet away
>he stares at me like I'm about to say "get in my fucking van"

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:01:00 No.7747109 Report

Quoted By:

>wake up in the morning
>feel like P Diddy
>brush teeth with a bottle of Jack
>alcohol makes my teeth clean
>knock over delicious looking plate of pancakes on way out for the week (I'm not coming back)

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:03:00 No.7747138 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746932
hi austin. i always thought it was because of something to do with butters on south park too. Because I remember something to do with that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:04:00 No.7747152 Report

Quoted By:

>Laugh really hard at party
>Lose control of bowels and start ripping a series of massive farts

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:05:00 No.7747161 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746955

>bike to school
>get a super runny nose
>talking to teacher about a test
>long trail of snot falls from my nose on her desk...
>entire class silent except for a few girls going "ewwwww"

>"ewwwww"

Are you from Japan or something?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 04e6c8d55832d72269562b3a7a477e69 (...).jpg, 966KiB, 1062x1505

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:08:00 No.7747209 Report

Quoted By: >>7747458

>go on non-weeaboo board
>see someone mention a name
>immediately think of character from visual novel
>remember that other people have lives and I do not

Fuck Erika and her normalfag name, man.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:08:00 No.7747219 Report

Quoted By:

>>7745171
oh update on this:

>girlfriend comes back
>tells me shes sorry and immediately starts unzipping my pants
>awesome blowjob

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:09:00 No.7747242 Report

Quoted By:

>>7744087
2 days in a row? must be your own mother..

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:11:00 No.7747259 Report

Quoted By:

>smell poo
>pood my pants

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:11:00 No.7747265 Report

Quoted By:

I just remembered, lol

>went drinking at a bar on 18th birthday
>have friends buying me shots
>take a shot of tequila, cough and spit it all over a girl I liked

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:15:00 No.7747316 Report

Quoted By: >>7747481

>>7744544
>>7744544
>>7744544

Holy shit. That is easily the funniest one in the thread. I don't know why no one else has pointed this out yet.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:16:00 No.7747326 Report

Quoted By:

someone should make a film and put as many of these awkward moments in it as possible.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:22:00 No.7747425 Report

Quoted By:

>Asshole regular customer orders drink
>Ring up customer
>He turns around to go
>"Excuse me, sir. That'll be ______"
>He looks at me offended.
>"They usually don't charge me for that."
>Getting annoyed, keep smiling.
>"Cool."
>He pretty much throws his exact change at me.
>Turns around flustered, trips on display, falls on his ass.
>Customers behind him clap.

Feels good not to be the awkward one for once, man.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:23:00 No.7747458 Report

Quoted By: >>7747653 >>7748707

>>7747209
>calling mangas visual novels
>laughing
>realising I'm not happier
>sorry brah

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:25:00 No.7747481 Report

Quoted By:

>>7744544
>>7747316
there's no way it happened unless you live in like

the US

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:32:00 No.7747569 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746233

I've been there.

Except it was two neighbors.

Both male.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:36:00 No.7747653 Report

Quoted By:

>>7747458
>implying that a visual novel isn't a video game
>realize that I'm implying
>realize that it's over stupid weeaboo shit
>what has my life come to

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 07:42:00 No.7747746 Report

Quoted By:

>>7746551
that wasnt even possible. i live like 20 miles from my school and i wasnt about to call up my mother ya know.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 08:22:00 No.7748296 Report

Quoted By: >>7748493

>>7745129
speaking of word meshing, was reading this and "deoderant stick" came out as "dick" in my head.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 08:35:00 No.7748493 Report

Quoted By:

>>7748296
You know whats worst, flipping the first letter of words(e.g., Tom Foolery, Fom Toolery)
and I was supposed to say Bucky Fuller

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 08:50:00 No.7748707 Report

Quoted By:

>>7747458
Fuck you. Umineko is a visual/sound novel.

GOOGLE THAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 04 Mar 2010 09:23:00 No.7749217 Report

Quoted By:

>>7744489
yes, they do. At least I do, anyways.

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