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One time, on easter or something, my family and I go to the house of one of my fathers work colleagues. The guy is a sort of hippie musician type, and a loaded one at that, so he brings out all these drums. It's about this time that I really have to drop a load. So I go into a bathroom just off of the drum-circle room and sit my ass on the can. As I start working my bowels, they start drumming. Now, normally I'm not into the drum-circle thing (especially the people), but as I was sitting there on the porcelain throne, something about the primitive beat really hit me. I felt cool, powerful even as the drumming became more intense. It was a heavy load, so I really had to work to squeeze this thing out, and I couldn't help but feel like the drums were egging me on towards the inevitable climax. As the drums reached their crescendo, I gritted my teeth, furrowed my brow and gave out a mighty grunt. My masterpiece plopped into the bowl and the drums began to die down, leaving me feeling like a tribal god.
Never before, and never since have I taken a dump that so deserved the title "epic" than this one.