/r9k1/ - ROBOT9000 (Feb. 2008 - Jan. 2011)

[201 / 0 / ?]

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:27:08 No.12215441 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>12215569 >>12219623 >>12221199 >>12225446

ITT: A guy who works with the mentally retarded shares his experiences, and may also answer questions.

>Sitting in group home
>Client comes out
>Pantsless
>"Anon, I can't find my pants"
>Go to his room
>Can't find his pants
>He uses a walker, so he couldn't have sneaked by me
>Windows are sealed shut
>Tear room apart
>Pants are fucking gone, man

The disabled can work miracles. Miracles of failure.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:31:00 No.12215503 Report

Quoted By:

Another story.

>Sitting in group home living room, shower time
>Client comes into the living room naked
>"Hey Anon..."
>"Yes client?"
>"I'm a monkey!"
>Begins running around the house hooting and howling like a monkey
>Tolerate it for a while
>Tell him it's time for his shower
>"NO! YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER"
>Runs out the front door
>Still naked
>Chase him down
>Tackle him in the front yard
>Pull him back into the house
>mfw I have to explain this situation to the police 45 minutes later

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:33:00 No.12215533 Report

Quoted By: >>12215597 >>12218937

as someone who also works with the intellectually disabled, the funniest, saddest shit happens like that with me on a daily basis. No good stories come to mind at the moment though.

The Red Barron

The Red Barron Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:35:00 No.12215569 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215441
>mfw he ate his pants

MOAR STORIES. Also, don't ever work for the crazies. Stupid is one thing, crazy as hell is another.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:36:00 No.12215582 Report

Quoted By: >>12215613

Are any of the 'tard women worth a fuck? Do you fuck them?

Of how much rape of clients are you aware? Either by carers or family and friends?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:37:00 No.12215597 Report

Quoted By: >>12215678 >>12215801

>>12215533
I feel you. It's some really fucked up shit that folks like us have to deal with. Oh well.

Story time again
>Working night shift at group home
>Hear strange noises coming from client's bed room
>Ignore for a while, don't wanna deal with that shit
>Noises get worse
>Go to investigate
>Find client naked
>Has somehow managed to cut a briefcase in half, and duct tape one half to his chest and the other to his back like some kind of retarded sex turtle
>Is also mostly duct taped to his bed
>Cut him free while he's crying
>Blames me
>Get investigated for sexual abuse
>mfw the company realizes this type of behavior has happened 100 times before, and they drop the investigation

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:39:00 No.12215613 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215582
Yeah no, I wouldn't bang one of those girls with Hitler's dick and your daddy pushing.

But, surprisingly, the largest incidence of sexual abuse seems to come from their family. Often (at least in cases I've seen) by the mother.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:40:00 No.12215638 Report

Quoted By:

When I was in high school I had to volunteer (for NHS) at this nursing home where my mom was a nurse, in the Alzheimer's wing. Imagine a unit full of old people on a bad LSD trip.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:40:00 No.12215639 Report

Quoted By: >>12215738

My aunt used to work in the mental ward of a hospital. She used to tell me a lot of stories but there was one that I remember clear as day. She first made me swear I'd never tell anyone because it was breaking the confidential agreement business and then told me that one of the original band members from earth wind and fire was staying at their hospital and he was crazy as fuck.

Apparently the guy had to be watched like a hawk during lunch hour because at some point he got a hold of a ski cap, shit in it, and then flung it across the room and shit went everywhere before it finally slammed into a wall.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:41:00 No.12215658 Report

Quoted By:

>Working at a Hastings
>Mentally retarded lady comes in
>The employees secretly call her "Wheezy" because of the way she breathes
>She is in with her 'handler' every day, just sitting and drinking our free coffee
>On this day she is sitting across from a total stranger who is busy reading a book
>"I HATE the way my PERIOD makes me feel."
>Guy looks up
>"It makes me want to THROW UP"
>Guy closes book, stands up, and runs away fast

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:43:00 No.12215678 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215597
>like some kind of retarded sex turtle
Fucking poetry, man.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:45:00 No.12215711 Report

Quoted By: >>12215765 >>12215793

As much as we may like to make fun of the mentally retarded, we remember that they are still, essentially, people. For instance:

>Company hires new staff for group home
>Guy is a shifty-eyed, creepy ass mother fucker
>The other support staff and I never trusted him
>The clients were uncomfortable around him
>One day, tries to "make a move" on the kind of hot but very petite supervisor
>"make a move" of the rapey variety
>Client sees this
>Runs into the room
>Blasts the guy in the face, knocking him through the wood paneling on the walls
>"DON'T FUCK WITH HER"
>3 weeks later we find out the guy was a sex offender in another state

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:45:00 No.12215712 Report

Quoted By: >>12215752

Do you have to have a certain license to work with them?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:47:00 No.12215738 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215639
BAh DEe YAah Say do you remember-
BAh DEe YAah Flinging shit in september?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:48:00 No.12215752 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215712
In my state (PA) you need a criminal background check (FBI), ChildLine clearance (child abuse, molestation, that kind of shit), and you need to be certified in First Aid, CPR, and authorized to administer medications.

It's a really rewarding line of work, and decent pay for an entry-level position with no college requirement.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:48:00 No.12215765 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215711

Which guy was a sex offender? the client, or the creepy-eye? i assume you meant the patient, either would be entertaining

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:50:00 No.12215793 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215711
>Client
Client as in one of the patients?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:51:00 No.12215801 Report

Quoted By: >>12215947 >>12215991 >>12216024 >>12216042 >>12216181 >>12216232 >>12216992 >>12219134 >>12219359

>>12215597
>Has somehow managed to cut a briefcase in half, and duct tape one half to his chest and the other to his back like some kind of retarded sex turtle
>like some kind of retarded sex turtle

I laughed a bit too hard at this, thanks for the vivid imagery. My only dealings with mental people are sparse.

>be on the bus
>a class full of tards come in, they are about 12 years old
>on loud, fat retard keeps asking dumb questions, his minder has a god damn will of iron, I salute her fortitude
>she answers his dumb questions, every-single-fucking-one
>one of the tards starts what can only be described as 'whooping'
>another starts crying for it to stop
>suddenly stops crying, laughs, then starts whooping too
>suddenly all the tards are whooping
>I'm sitting there surrounded by a symphony of whooping, siren imitations and animal noises
>it's getting louder and louder and the minder(s) are trying their best to calm down the tards
>I can see the bus driver is lolling his tits off
>fuck, its my stop hell yes!
>get off bus walk away and the sound diminishes... then gets louder
>the bus drives past and overtakes me, the sound goes really goddamn loud as it comes beside me then Dopplers out of existence
>I look around, everyone has stopped dead in their tracks to stare as the whoopmobile fades into the sunset

I will never forget you, whoopmobile.
>mfw I realize nobody at the next bus stop down the road got on the bus

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:54:00 No.12215852 Report

Quoted By: >>12215880 >>12215905 >>12216871

The creepy guy.

More stories? OKAY

>Be at work in group home, going about normal shit
>"ANOOOOOOOON"
>Run to back of house
>Client is standing with his pants around his ankles
>SHIT IS EVERYWHERE
>Running down his legs
>Puddled on the floor around him
>Smeared on his dresser mirror
>All over his bedsheets
>On the ceiling (seriously, wtf)
>Trail of shit leading down the hallway to his room
>I shower him off
>Spend 2 hours cleaning up the mess
>Come into living room
>"You mah buddeh, Anon"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:56:00 No.12215880 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215852

LOL. I have been reading these intently.They're so interesting! Please keep them coming op.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:57:00 No.12215905 Report

Quoted By: >>12215963 >>12219061

>>12215852

so if you have a weak stomach (say, weak enough to vomit at having to clean human shit) this wouldn't be the job for you? because it sounds great to me but i wouldn't be able to do it without puking

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:57:00 No.12215906 Report

Quoted By: >>12215963

How do you deal with things like shit and nudity? I mean, those are pretty big dealbreakers for me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 09:59:00 No.12215947 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
OH MY GOD I LOLLED SO HARD

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:00:00 No.12215955 Report

Quoted By: >>12215967

i love me some 'tard time threads

i only have one interesting story (which i've posted before) so here it is

>cousin's graduation party
>my autistic cousin asks about a snake that my uncle killed and left by a tree
>snake is fucking huge, uncle tells him it's a bullsnake
>2 hours later, everyone is outside in the driveway talking by the firepit
>suddenly, autistic cousin storms in the middle of everyone holding the snake, throws it to the ground and screams 'THIS IS NOT A BULLSNAKE'
>women are screaming, i'm laughing like the fist of the north star

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:01:00 No.12215963 Report

Quoted By: >>12215982 >>12215989

>>12215905
>>12215906
If you can't handle this kind of stuff, then this is not the line of work for you.

Every few days I have to clean the shit off of one or another client, along with whatever mess I made.

Our job is to encourage as much independence as is possible; however, many of these people are not able to do the most basic things that you and I take for granted -- such as bathing. So, you have to do that for them.

Basically, if you can't handle poop, blood, piss, semen, cock, balls, snatch, and ass, then don't get into this line of work.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:01:00 No.12215967 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215955

FUCKING LOOL HOLY SHIT

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:01:00 No.12215971 Report

Quoted By: >>12216031

So do you make them do their own chores?
Do they all have a private room to them selves?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:02:00 No.12215982 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215963

>whatever mess you made

What do you mean? I honestly could handle all of that except the poop. Man. :(

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:02:00 No.12215989 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215963
along with whatever mess they* made, not I.

6 lion's head pounders + a long days work = terrible typing

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:03:00 No.12215991 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
>I will never forget you, whoopmobile.
Oh god, I LOL'd so hard that I couldn't breathe for half a minute.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:05:00 No.12216024 Report

Quoted By: >>12216407 >>12216472 >>12218332

>>12215801
Lol'ed, wtf were they doing on a public bus?

I've got some first hand experience with a slightly retarded 5 year old that I occasionally babysit for extra cash. Yes, I'm a male, and I'm not proud that I have to do this but no one else will do the job and the kid now calls me daddy because his own dad works constantly.

>Kid starts making grunting noises
>"Do you have to poop?"
>HHNNNGGGGGG..YEEEEES
>He runs off to the bathroom
>HNGGGGGGGGG RRRRRGHHHHH for a good 10-15 minutes on the can
>Apparently he has constipation issues
>I finally come in there to see what the hell is taking him so long
>He has shit all over his hand because he dug the shit out of his asshole and did not know how to get it off his hands

Another time

>Sitting on the couch
>Kid finds sharply freshened dagger somewhere in the house (the house is a mess)
>Runs around the house screaming and chasing his sister with the dagger

Another time
>Digs out two giant poultry knives while im pissing
>I go and sit on the couch
>He runs straight at me sliding them together like someone sharpening a blade and screams 'SCISSOOOOOOOOOORS'

And similar to your story

>I take him to the park
>Its him and a few other kids playing on the play set
>2 vans show up out of nowhere
>The other parents grab their kids and leave
>Holy shit, the vans are full of retarded kids
>They flood all over the playground screaming and hollering and the kid Im watching gets mixed up into it
>They have a run around and scream contest
>One kid starts yelling about being thor and keeps pegging kids in the face with a ball
>I try to get the kid and get out of there but I can't because he's darting around in a massive mob of retarded kids
>Realize he actually fits in for once
>Leave him in there for an hour

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:05:00 No.12216031 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215971
As for chores, it depends on the client. Clients are typically assigned "goals" -- that is, shit we want them to learn how to do. That may be simple things like "not screaming at the sky" or more complex things like "taking out the trash after dinner." We can't make them do chores for things to which they cannot/do not contribute -- that is, we can't have them clean up the office, or clean another client's room. That is illegal.

And yes, in a group home -- at least, every group home I've seen -- every client has his/her own room. The goal of a group home is to create an environment as much like a "regular" person's life as possible

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:05:00 No.12216042 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
bravo, that was sheer genius

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:05:00 No.12216044 Report

Quoted By:

Mine happened a couple hours ago at a brandon flowers concert.

It was general admission, standing room only. And were all watching Brandon in awe and this fat hambeast trys pushing through me. Me and my friend had enough of people pushing through so we stood our ground, and she proceeded to practically grind on my back while breathing down my neck with her horrible fat girl breath.

After a couple songs we let her through, and as soon as she passed I stuck out my foot and my friend pushed her, effectively tripping her.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:06:00 No.12216046 Report

Quoted By:

>i'm an underageb&
>in a store with my mother, probably doing underageb& shit like looking at toys.
>mum says something like "DON'T YOU STARE AT HIM, YOUR GREAT UNCLE IS LIKE HIM" in a voice like she was about to stab me.
>get VERY brief glance at what might have been a retard as she turns me away.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:07:00 No.12216064 Report

Quoted By:

I have a very slow brother and probably would have some stories that would suit this thread. Too bad I'm tired and can't remember them. I have a shit one, though.

>Being five
>Have toddler sister being potty trained
>She hates pooping in the toilet
>Instead of going to toilet, will run into a closet and squat in her pants
>One day doesn't have pants or underwear
>Needs to poop
>Does
>Wipes ass by sliding down the carpeted stairs
>Chocolate mousse everywhere
>Mom flips a bitchfit so huge she has to call my dad to calm her from strangling my sister

I still remember a log of shit hanging out of my baby sister's ass as she waggled around. Or more like, I'll never forget that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:10:00 No.12216104 Report

Quoted By:

I know it's not nice to laugh at these stories but I love em. I cry my eyes out reading tardblog.

When I was in high school, there was a retarded Indian kid. He made the most fucking hilarious sounds ever, like clicking and "ooo" sounds like Noooo and Wooooo and Oooohh. He said "NooooOOOooo!!" the best. For some reason, "bully" kids would ask him if he liked to eat things like hot sauce and stinky fish, and he would say NOOOOOOOOOO!! in the funniest voice.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:13:00 No.12216154 Report

Quoted By: >>12216192 >>12216496

I went to a highschool with some quality retards, so I'm going to share.

>Walk into bathroom at the end of the day
>retard in first stall with door open, sitting on the toilet
>drooling and singing, pile of shit on the floor and smeared on his hands
>walk on
>around corner in bathroom 2 other retards sitting naked on the floor playing patty cake
>can't deal with that shit, gtfo

They had their own designated table in lunch, and my group of friends sat across the room from it. One awful day a friend points out that a downs girl sitting facing us is fisting herself quite clumsily. Earlier that week she'd disappeared for several periods and an announcement was made on the PA requesting anyone who saw her to report to a handler. Somebody reported seeing her in an unused stairwell, and she was found making out with a smaller autistic kid.

Also, not really a story, but I had a religion class (Catholic highschool) with a girl who might have been autistic- not sure what it was, not downs- and would regularly start talking over the teacher about random shit. He'd keep his cool and acknowledge her before moving on, though he got visibly irritated often. She turned 21 that semester, which was my sophmore year. I convinced my little asian friend to try to get her to buy us vodka. It didn't work.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:14:00 No.12216164 Report

Quoted By:

>Boss hires a high functioning retarded kid
>I generally disregard him unless he asks for help
>one night he randomly texts me
>he wants to fuck
>NOPE

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:14:00 No.12216166 Report

Quoted By: >>12216268

Okay, here's one that sucked for me.

>Get new furniture in group home
>Client comes home
>Takes one look at furniture
>Grabs me by the hair (am longhairedmalefag)
>Drags me through the room
>Screams at me
>Throws me on the floor
>Kicks me
>I get up
>FUCK THIS
>Run towards basement (only door with a lock)
>He catches up before I can close the door
>Knocks me down the stairs

Fuck yeah, broken arm

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:15:00 No.12216177 Report

Quoted By: >>12216499

oh god, i've been around many tards and autistics, because i went to a school that wasn't "normal" by any means, for a while. There were many weird kids, a couple were ok, one that always sticks in my mind is a kid we called "Jared D."
>he pissed himself, almost every day
>reeked, always smelled terrible
>sometimes he would reek of shit
>he was very easy to troll
>weak as fuck
>pronounced t's as z's (hurt = hurz)
>his dad "died"
>his mother was trailer trash, rumor had it that he had a toilet in his bedroom
>hambeast
>by the time he left, he was learning shapes, i shit you not

specific incidents:
>one time he said "I'm a cheeseburger" and someone replied "Yeah because you're 99% fat!" and he raged and chased him

>one time when I was playing Runescape he started trying to assault me because i was attacking a penguin ingame

>one time he started chasing me down because i insulted him, i ran until i weakly punched him back, and he fell over crying

>one time he was being restrained in a bathroom, and i turned off the lights, and he pissed himself

>on one of my friend's last days at that school, he threw his pikachu doll in the toilet

>he allegedly humped his pikachu doll before

>he believed that pissing himself, was normal

>one time a girl asked him on rs to be his girlfriend and he said: "Sorry, my mom doesn't allow me to date until i'm 16"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Untitled1.jpg, 33KiB, 683x384

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:15:00 No.12216181 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
>>12215801

>>hours in ms paint

paintbloxxxx

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:16:00 No.12216186 Report

Quoted By: >>12216334 >>12216407

I work with a 5 year old kid with autism, based out of his home. Stories from today:

>kid likes it when I sing cartoon theme songs (e.g. Max and Ruby, The Fairly Oddparents, etc.)
>start singing theme songs
>Him: No more singing. No more singing. No more singing.
>move on to a different song, saying "Well, what about ____?"
>Again, "No more singing. No more singing."
>stop singing
>Him: What about...
>Me: Do you want me to sing?
>Him: Yes.

He loves to be tickled, so I'd substitute certain words of songs with "TICKLEMONSTER." For example, "Max and Ruby, Ruby and TICKLEMONSTER" and it kind of went from there. It was just funny because he joined in later in the day, saying things like "Barney is a TICKLEMONSTER!"

Also, I was trying to teach him how to play hide and seek. It was my turn to look for him. He understands the game enough to find me when it's my turn to hide, but...

>Tell him "Okay, it's your turn to hide. I'll cover my eyes and count to ten."
>He walks over, sits down next to me, covers his eyes and starts counting.

When he does hide, it's usually in his bedroom under blankets. He's fun to work with sometimes, but can be annoying as fuck, especially if I'm helping him with writing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:16:00 No.12216192 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216154

>downs girl sitting facing us is fisting herself quite clumsily
>fisting herself

dear god why

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:19:00 No.12216232 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
oh god I can't breathe fuck fuck fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:22:00 No.12216268 Report

Quoted By: >>12216303

>>12216166

What was the aftermath, OP? Also, what was his mental handicap?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:24:00 No.12216293 Report

Quoted By:

I remember in elementary school we had a motley crew of mentally retarded kids.
We found one in particular, Kevin, to be very amusing. A lot like this the NoOOOoo guys story, Kevin made a particular noise. His word of choice was "BOW!", and he screamed it in a very high pitch voice. I literally don't think he knew how to say anything but BOW! One time my friend acted out what it was like when Kevin jerked off - sensual BOW's and all.

Once we were strolling around during recess, and saw Kevin coming out of the bathroom. He had no pants on. He was BOWing it up and I saw his penis momentarily. I vividly remember just laughing my ass off and SPRINTING away with my friend in the opposite direction.

I'm not one to laugh at people with mental issues, but that was pretty fucking funny.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:25:00 No.12216303 Report

Quoted By: >>12216449

>>12216268
The aftermath? lol. I went to the hospital, and the company paid for my treatment and some extra time off. The whole system for treating these people assumes that they are incapable of purposefully harmful actions -- which is, frankly, utter bullshit. So, no punishments for him, nothing at all.

His diagnosis? No one's quite sure. He caught the mumps or measles when he was a young kid, and afterwords went from "normal kid" to "deaf and dumb guy what can't be reasoned with."

Fuck that guy. Seriously, he's a douche.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:26:00 No.12216334 Report

Quoted By: >>12216437

>>12216186
Oh, fuck. Helping mentally challenged people with homework is the worst. And you can't ever explain to people why you're frustrated. "I don't understand why you got so mad explaining addition fifty times and failing to that poor handicapped boy. He can't help it, you need to be more accepting." All of my hate.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:30:00 No.12216371 Report

Quoted By: >>12216433

How old are you OP?
How many hours do you work?
How long have you been in this 'field'?
What's the hourly pay?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:30:00 No.12216382 Report

Quoted By:

1/10b: Retardism runs in Family:
Trevor is in third grade. He was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and as a result if very slow. He is also very bad at reading. He guesses at words, and doesn't even know his sounds. The most frustrating part is that he doesn't care. It doesn't seem to bother him that, in his reading group are 3 kindergarteners, retarded ones no les, and him.
Last year I had Trevor's brother in my class. He has since moved on to high school. He was scary. I guarantee he will be on America's Most Wanted in like 10 years. Him and I fought just about every day last year because he always wore bandanas to school, which is against school rules. He would always try to compromise with me regarding the bandana ("if I finish all my typing, can I wear it out to recess", etc.)
The most annoying thing he would do was to constantly repeat song lyrics. At least fifteen times a day he would, out of nowhere, bust out with "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady". I wanted to beat him. Near the end of last year he had changed it to "Notorious B-I-G- baby baby". This wasn't nearly as bad as "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady" but was still annoying.

cont'd :

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:31:00 No.12216393 Report

Quoted By:

Trevor has replicated this annoying habit. It is as if his brother and him concocted a New Years resolution to piss me off. Trevor was sent to the principal's office, then eventually home because he could not stop saying "Forty degrees when I tell that bitch please." This was his answer to anything and everything. During reading group I asked him to read one sentence from the book. The fucker puts his finger on the sentence, and says, while pretending to be reading, "Forty degrees when I tell that bitch please."
Luckily, the kindergarteners are too young and retarded to comprehend this. Trevor is then sent to the principal's office after doing the same thing three more times.
Today Trevor returns, and his new phrase is "Young and dangerous, ain't nobody can hang with us." This one isn't as bad, but it pisses me off because he is saying ain't. I don't want my kids to hear this, because they will be prone to repeating it.
After several warnings, the behavior continues, so he goes back to the office. The principal asks him if he needs to call his mom to come get him.
Trevor's response (I kid you not), "Nigga Please."
He went home shortly after that.

end

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:32:00 No.12216402 Report

Quoted By:

I've got one.

>be on /r9k/
>retards everywhere
>retards post retarded things

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:32:00 No.12216403 Report

Quoted By:

I have an autistic younger brother. The thing is, though, is that my mother refuses to admit that he's autistic. It's sort of sad, really, but my other brother and I have enjoyed his derpy hijinks throughout our childhoods.

I have enough stories to write several books, honestly..

>brother tries to emulate my sense of humor, fails miserably
>i jokingly say "HONK HONK" in reference to Doug, one time. completely related topic, obviously.
>brother starts peppering his speech with HONK HONKs for years
>"Hey Lauren, how's it HAUNK HAUNK going? LOLOLOLOLOLOL"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:32:00 No.12216407 Report

Quoted By: >>12216591 >>12216628

>>12216186

>>12216024
>here

This is bullshit. I want tradesies. I've tried to teach mine a ton of things but he has zero attention span, is horribly undisciplined and 60% of the time gets away with whatever he wants by throwing tantrums when his parents are around. The other 40% of the time he just wants someone to watch him play video games because to him that's like getting a weeks worth of attention every hour. It's sad.

Have you actually made progress with yours? Mine has just become extremely attached.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:34:00 No.12216433 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216371
I'm 22.
I work anywhere between 50-70 hours a week (I'm a supervisor in a group home, rather than a regular support staff; they work about 40-50 hrs a week if they're full time)
I've been in this field for about 3 years or so.
I make $36k/year salary, no hourly pay.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:34:00 No.12216437 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216334
Yeah. I worked with him for a little over the past year, and I took part in implementing his potty-training program. Amazingly, writing has been worse than potty-training. Teaching him to bounce a ball is a close third.

The unfortunate part of this is that I had previously worked with two other girls. Both of them quit, so I've been the only one working with him for the past few months. The guidelines of the program given by my supervisor require that two therapists need to be involved in "mastering" programs, so while he's still learning, nothing is technically being accomplished as far as recorded data comes into play.

Having another person around really helped to free up some of the stress, and I'm sure it's the same way for the client as well. I feel like when he sees my car pull up at his house, he thinks the autistic equivalent of "Oh no, it's her again!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:34:00 No.12216438 Report

Quoted By: >>12216491 >>12216803

Alright, so there was this retarded girl Katherine
Apparently she fell and hit her head and suffered brain damage causing her mental handicap
Would freak out and start beating the nearest person close by if you said any 'trigger word'
The only few words I remember were 'snowman' and 'bosco sticks'
Freshman year of highschool, I was driving home with my father, older sister, and her friend Ed when we saw her walking home near a group of middle school students.
Ed rolls down the window and starts screaming 'SNOWMANNNN'
She turned around and started kicking the shit out of all these kids.
Laughed hysterically.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:35:00 No.12216449 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216303
He might have had brain damage if left with an uncontrolled fever for long enough. Certain kids, including myself, would get insanely high fevers up to 107 or so, which can actually kill brain cells if left untreated.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:36:00 No.12216472 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216024
>Realize he actually fits in for once
>Leave him in there for an hour

I love it when laziness and consideration come together like that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:38:00 No.12216489 Report

Quoted By: >>12216550

How hard would it be for me to live life like a troll and fake sever retardation? Do I just need to shit myself and make whooping sounds?
It'd totally be worth acting like a retard for a few years for the look on everyone's faces when I suddenly dress up like a gentleman and carry out lengthy intellectual debates with the workers.

I suppose 4chan is the first step...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:38:00 No.12216491 Report

Quoted By: >>12216520

>>12216438
...I think I might know the girl you're talking about. Did she also have a trigger word about Trees? Like if you said "I hate trees" she'd freak out?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:38:00 No.12216496 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216154 Again, I forgot a classic.

>English class freshman year
>Taking a test, room is silent
>About halfway through the period the teacher stands up and walks over to retard girl in class
>I wasnt really paying attention and assumed she was answering a question
>retard gets up and silently leaves classroom with teacher
>Teacher said nothing and we wondered why they left
>continue test for 5 minutes
>room gets stanky as fuck with the smell of piss in a small hot room
>teacher not back yet
>Some girl says " omg what the fuck is that smell?"
>My friend who sat next to retard said "Sarah pissed herself, I thought everyone knew!"
>Puddle on floor, in chair

They kept the chair, jew bastards. Should've burned that thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:38:00 No.12216499 Report

Quoted By: >>12216559

>>12216177
So, basically, you are an asshole who abuses the mentally handicapped for fun.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:38:00 No.12216500 Report

Quoted By:

There was this skinny as fuck, I'm talking bare bones asian guy with a bowl cut named Kelly who was retarded at my Jr High back in 97, he would dance for quarters and run after any coins that would be thrown somewhere.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:39:00 No.12216520 Report

Quoted By: >>12216580

>>12216491
Do you live in Illinois?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:42:00 No.12216550 Report

Quoted By: >>12216610

>>12216489
Yeah, give that a shot.

Seriously, I hope you do.

And then, when your plan fails, as it surely will, you can have fun having your ass kicked by the one or two rather large staff members that every group home keeps around for "emergency situations".

And then you can have fun in jail.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:43:00 No.12216559 Report

Quoted By: >>12216586

>>12216499
Well, I guess at that time you could almost say that. However, many of the incidents were never intended to abuse, the lightswitch was an accident. Many of the incidents were also not carried out by me. And at age 11, I didn't truly know he was mentally handicapped, I didn't know shit when I was 11.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:44:00 No.12216580 Report

Quoted By: >>12216649 >>12217083

>>12216520
Nah, California. I know a girl who acted just like that, she attacked people when they swore or said anything else she didn't like. Strange though, especially when you mentioned Bosco Sticks. That was something they had at my school also. Man, i fucking miss those things. Delicious.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:45:00 No.12216586 Report

Quoted By: >>12216610

>>12216559
If you didn't know the difference between normal children and the mentally retarded by the time you were 11, well, I got some bad news for you.

Fortunately, there are people like me trained to handle cases such as yourself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:45:00 No.12216591 Report

Quoted By: >>12216628 >>12216802

>>12216407
He learned a lot when there were 2-3 people working with him, but now it's just me. When I started working, he was able to read and had the basics of counting down. He's learned a lot, but he still can't communicate very well aside from basic requests.

He just started kindergarden. I've been trying to help him understand the concepts of same/different, but he doesn't really get it. We're also working on rhyming, which he kind of understands, but only with words that are spelled the same (e.g. book/look vs. bear/chair).

His parents give in to him a lot, especially with food. He'll have a meal in front of him, and he'll leave the room and ask them for doritos or ice cream or something like that. It's kind of depressing. His parents give into a lot of what he wants. I feel like they don't know what to do in that position, so they just let him go on the computer or watch videos all day. A few weeks ago I saw him watching this "Youtube Poop" thing with an edited Arthur video in which Arthur was swearing at his sister (e.g. "You must be shittin' me!" and "Shut the fuck up!"). Of course, the kid starts mimicing the swears. I kept closing the window. I haven't heard any more swears out of him. He didn't understand all of what they were saying, so he'd look at me and say the first part of different swears, expecting me to repeat them or write them down. Fuck that, seriously.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:47:00 No.12216604 Report

Quoted By:

>sitting across from friend at table
>friend starts laughing hysterically
>turn around
>retard outside is trying to eat leaves off of a tree
>his handler is pushing the leaves away from his mouth
>wtf

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:47:00 No.12216610 Report

Quoted By: >>12216658

>>12216550
>>12216586

And then OP was a mother bear.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:48:00 No.12216628 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216407
>>12216591

People like you two are important. There's a marked difference in the clients that inevitably wind up in my line of work between those who had help early on, and those who didn't. They seem to do a lot better both socially and functionally, which is great to see.

Plus, it makes my job a hell of a lot easier.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:51:00 No.12216649 Report

Quoted By: >>12217083

>>12216580
I would repeat the horrors of highschool just to have one more bosco stick....

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO bill_o_reilly_40556.jpg, 27KiB, 290x450

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:51:00 No.12216658 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216610
Papa bear. Get it right.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:52:00 No.12216667 Report

Quoted By:

When I was in Kindergarten I was in the same class as this retarded girl. I got a few stories.

>End of recess
>we all go back to our classroom
>look out window
>she's running around on the playground with her arms up

>go out to recess
>walking to swings
>she comes out of nowhere
>hits me in the face
>she runs

>she'd cry every time the bell rang

and
>had some helicopter guy come to our school
>she screams her head off when the helicopter comes down
>guy gets out of helicopter
>she runs over to him, jumps, and kicks him right in the balls, then runs
fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:54:00 No.12216692 Report

Quoted By:

Oh god, I've been reading this thread from the start but JUST remembered this one girl.

She was autistic, and hands down one of the most bizarre people I've ever met. She had many of the quirks you'd expect from an autistic person, but her main thing was Okinawa. 90% of the words that came out of her mouth were about her "homeland" Okinawa. She was ADAMANT about being born there, and often mentioned how she hated her parents for taking her away from Okinawa. She told anyone who would listen about the cultural practices of Okinawa, or what it was like, what she would do there etc. She had an entire back story planned out about her previous life in Okinawa, which I'm sure you've realized was all made up. She was born in California.

She was nice, but got VERY angry if someone insulted or questioned her about Okinawa. She often raised her hand to talk about Okinawa even though it was a math class. My god. So awkward. It was kind of sad, actually. The whole class pretty much humored her about the whole thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:54:00 No.12216696 Report

Quoted By: >>12216755 >>12216809 >>12216861

What are your opinions on forced sterilization and euthanasia regarding the mentally handicapped?

When working with your clients, do you generally have a sense of hope? Do you generally have a sense that they are hopeless, and you are just damage control? Do these feelings vary widely between clients?

Do you get a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment working with the mentally handicapped?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:58:00 No.12216752 Report

Quoted By:

>4th grade
>my classes lockers cant be used for some reason, cant remember why
>have to used extra lockers in tard room
>one day friend retrieves back pack from locker
>its soaked and smells like shit and piss
>lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 10:58:00 No.12216755 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216696
not OP, but i work as a volunteer on my vacation and, in most cases, there is no hope. Making one of them go to toilet by themselves is one of the best achievements i did. Also i work with deep disabled people. Don't know with Down syndrom and so on

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:00:00 No.12216775 Report

Quoted By: >>12219623

>freshman year of high school
>christian high school, have 2 hour long church services every wednesday
>one retard in whole school, named Billy
>everyone is singing and clapping their hands to some shitty christian band
>Billy thought it would be a good idea to clap his hands behind his head
>hits several people in the face repeatedly before he realizes what hes doing
>turns around and starts yelling gibberish at them
>school nurse and handler sprint over to him and put a needle in his neck
>mouth drops out and lets out a loud, low groan before sinking into his seat
>at this point the whole school is watching, music stopped playing
>after pause of 25 seconds band continues playing like nothing happened

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:02:00 No.12216802 Report

Quoted By: >>12216938 >>12216970

>>12216591
Can OP or you explain the point of attempting to educate them? It's not like they'll actually be important members of society. At the most they become janitors or factory workers or some job where they do a repetitive task every day. There doesn't seem to be much point in teaching them anything beyon reading, writing, and basic counting. They'll surely never achieve a position that requires critical thinking. So why waste the time?

I used to think they were just in school so their parents didn't have to pay for daycare.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:02:00 No.12216803 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216438

LOL somebody should draw this shit

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:03:00 No.12216809 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216696
Insofar as sterilization goes, no, I don't agree. Most cases of Mental Retardation aren't brought on by genetic causes.

However, I do feel that these people should be made to contribute something to society. Many do. Those who don't....well, thank god this is an anonymous forum, because I feel they don't deserve anything from the society towards which they do not contribute.

That opinion does not affect my work. I am paid to do a job; I do my job well.

When I'm working with some of my clients, I do feel a sense of hope. They can learn something which might help them later on down the road. However, with some of my more severe cases, it does essentially boil down to damage control.

I do get a sense of satisfaction from what I do. Every day when I walk into work, I'm greeted with cries of "Anon! You're back! Yay!". Though I realize that, in a grand scale, my work has little impact, I feel that I'm making a rather large impact on the lives on these individuals. And that's good enough for me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:06:00 No.12216841 Report

Quoted By: >>12216866

You're very mature, OP. Good for you. I certainly could not, ever, do the job that you do. In my times I have laughed at a lot of retarded people, and I'm sure I will do it again. I don't really feel bad about it. I haven't hurt anyone's feelings. But I am glad that there are people who take care of them, because they still are people. Even if they are...retarded.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:07:00 No.12216861 Report

Quoted By: >>12216904

>>12216696
Sterilization, yes, euthanasia, no.

Sometimes I have a sense of hope for the clients themselves, but when the environments they're in probably wouldn't lead to them being independent in the future, I feel less hope. For example, the kid I work with, after using the bathroom, is able to put his pants back on by himself. If I give him his underwear and pants, he can do it. However, if I get there and his parents take him to use the bathroom before our session begins, they do it for him. They wash his hands for him, flush the toilet for him, etc. Sometimes I don't think they have enough faith in his own abilities to do things, but at the same time, I realize that when we're alone and he uses the bathroom, if I wasn't there to remind him to put his clothes back on and wash his hands, he wouldn't do it. There are times when he's asked me to get him a book to read when he's on the toilet, and while I went into another room for a book, he ran into a bedroom and is jumping on a bed naked. I have hope, but I'm still damage control.

I don't feel accomplished, but other people I meet tell me that it's such a noble thing to do, I must be so patient, etc. I'm not. I don't feel better about myself for doing it. If I can do paperwork for an hour, or spend the last half hour of the session cleaning up and taking notes, I fucking will.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:08:00 No.12216866 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216841
Well, you can laught cause they are funny sometimes, just like normal people. That doesn't make you a bad person. I work with them and laught at/with them sometimes too

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:08:00 No.12216871 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215852
Awww, that's an adorable story.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:09:00 No.12216888 Report

Quoted By:

>be in kindergarten, one tard named eric in the class
>practicing writing our lower case and capital letters
>eric is just scribbling all over the paper
>some kind says 'look at eric, he's just scribbling all over his paper!'
>handler jokingly says 'eric is just practicing his cursive'
>we all lol
>eric lols
>we all lol some more
>eric shoves the crayon he is writing with up his nose
>we all lol even harder
>eric lols even harder
>handler yells at eric and tries to take the crayon away from him
>crayon breaks, part of it is lodged in his nose
>eric has to go down to the nurses' office where she removes it with a set of tweezers

we never saw eric again after kindergarten. im pretty sure he started going to a school for the handicapped or something like that.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:11:00 No.12216904 Report

Quoted By: >>12217251

>>12216861
If you feel that way, then, why are you in this line of work?

...seriously?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:13:00 No.12216938 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216802
Well, first off, the world needs factory workers and janitors. If everyone was a CEO we'd all be dead, that's just how it is.

They educate them because it gives them a sense of hope. Retarded people are people too, and they have feelings just like anyone else.

I'd probably do this sort of work, but
1) I have a hard time getting people to do things, even working with kids the kids wouldn't listen to me
2) I would probably throw up way too much

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:16:00 No.12216970 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216802
I think it's mostly so they'll be less of a burden on their parents, as awful as that may be to say. I would think that just being able to say things like "I want juice" or "I have to use the bathroom" takes a little bit of stress off of the parents or guardians.

Also, as part of the earlier damage control thing, the kid I work with likes to run around a lot. I haven't had him outside recently, but over the summer there have been occasions where he's fucking taken off and I later saw him trying to open the door of someone else's house. I'd assume that these situations aren't uncommon for parents. At the very least, encountering a child that knows their address as well as the phone numbers and names of both parents makes them a tiny bit more safe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:17:00 No.12216981 Report

Quoted By: >>12217064 >>12217276

>in college
>have roommate
>find roommate's english paper on the floor one day
>holy shit, what the fuck am i reading
>must have been written by a brain dead potato, I've never seen ANYTHING even close to as stupid as that paper was.
>feel intensely superior to roommate in every way
>dearly love retelling this story whenever I can
>only wish I had made a copy of that paper

I still lol to this very day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:18:00 No.12216990 Report

Quoted By:

>go to a Christian summer camp during high school
>everybody is in high school except one huge black retarded guy named George, who's 22
>still considered a camper
>he says some of the funniest shit, always lies about what the weather will be for the next day
>we're doing some sort of group prayer
>he goes up in front of the group
>babbles on, basically gibberish, except it was all really funny
>me and my friend are the only ones who find it hysterical
>can't control my laughter
>get dirty looks from people

seriously, I don't understand how people can maintain a straight face during that kind of shit, I was laughing my ass off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:18:00 No.12216992 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA got that was brilliant

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:24:00 No.12217064 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216981
Exerpts from your memory are needed to judge how retarded it actually was.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:25:00 No.12217083 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216649
>>12216580

My school had bosco sticks too, but you guys do realize you can order them online right here

http://www.marketday.com/shopping/products.aspx?sk=0&itemid=2245

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:30:00 No.12217149 Report

Quoted By: >>12217460 >>12217989

> Senior year in HS some years back
> Pissing in urinal
> Retarded kid starts pissing in urinal next to me
> He starts giggling and starts peeing in MY urinal with speckles of tardonade hitting me.
> Look over at him to tell him to stop
> See what may be the largest penis I have ever seen on a human being

Seriously, it was like a veiny fucking elephant trunk

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:33:00 No.12217195 Report

Quoted By:

I have one.

Me and a couple friends went to go see a shitty as movie yesterday. We showed up kinda late so we had to sit up front

about half way threw someone behind us starts making retard noises, so naturally I don't laugh because I have a retarded aunt and I'm not an immature douche. One of my friends goes "You don't say?" and I lost my shit. Felt kinda like an ass for laughing.

We were both pretty drunk and high.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:37:00 No.12217251 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216904

Feel what way, specifically?
As far as sterilization goes, I would never see the majority of these individuals as being able to be responsible for the care of another human being, especially a child. It's no doubt that they could form intimate relationships, but as far as safe sexual activity goes, I honestly just don't know.

When it comes to paperwork and occasional bullshitting... I enjoy the work at times, but as I'm sure you know, it can be stressful. If the kid leaves the room every five to ten minutes even after having his dad pick him up and carry him back into the room, after finishing up whatever major work we have for the day, I'm alright with letting him do his thing for a while.

When push comes to shove, whenever he does something, it's easy to brush it off, smile, and keep working, but sometimes I need a little break as much as he does. I don't blow him off and not interact with him, but if I can work on something else for a while, like picking out cards for a new program or preparing tracing or craft activities, it takes the edge off. It doesn't happen often, but it certainly has happened.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:39:00 No.12217276 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216981
>mfw you dont realize a retarded guy got into the same college you did

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:40:00 No.12217287 Report

Quoted By:

It's a shame society doesn't kill off retards. Instead, people like OP have to waste their time keeping retards from eating their own shit. What a fucking burden to society.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:41:00 No.12217297 Report

Quoted By: >>12217309

My oldest brother has moderate cerebral palsy, and up through high school I spent a lot of time with handicapped kids because my parents were fairly involved with that community (dad coached for their baseball teams and such for a few years, etc.: yeah, retards play baseball, sort of. It's not competitive, everyone wins all the time, its just fun for them). I should have lots of stories, I know I do, but I can't think of anything specific really.

I will say that retarded kids are generally some of the best people alive. Yeah they freak the fuck out now and then, but generally they are as kind as they can be, and happy. I rage hard when I see the parents give up on them (usually ends up with the kid not developing very well), and I beat the ever living shit out of kids in school when I saw them fuck with the handicapped kids - especially my brother. My brother actually has done fairly well though; my parents worked their asses off to get him as independent as possible. Of course he will always need daily assistance at some level, but all of his doctors have told them that he is unbelievably farther along than they ever had any right to expect.

So yeah, I love me some retards, awesome people all in all. The ones that are difficult to handle usually had parents that didn't care (and deserve to be brutally tortured and murdered because of that).

Ohh, I remember a couple little things about my brother:

>Some summer, out of school
>Kitchen in house has wood floors
>ReBro decides to coat entire floor in honey and pepper
>Realizes he fucked up
>Freaks and tries to clean it up by covering floor in dish soap and spraying it with the hose thing from the sink
>Floors utterly ruined, replaced with tile

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:42:00 No.12217309 Report

Quoted By: >>12217350

>>12217297

and two others I remembered that didn't fit...

>ReBro LOVES professional wrestling, Rock in particular
>Every time he gets mad and wants to fight, yells various catch phrases from wrestler of choice for the week
>Step towards him, he freaks, runs away
>Stops a little farther away, or comes back in 5 minutes, starts yelling catch phrases again
>Repeat repeat repeat

worst one for me EVER:

>ReBro comes home from school, crying
>Whats wrong?
>Says he cant take his underwear off
>Why?
>Pooped his pants (mind you he is nearly 20 at this point), no one found out somehow
>Poop dried in his pants, entangling copious amounts of ass hair
>Can't pull underwear off because it pulls on the hair
>Fuck parents aren't home, have to yank his underwear off for him
>Try not to throw up upon seeing a massive ball of dried shit and hair so close to my person
>Leave him to clean up, wash my hands for half an hour.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:44:00 No.12217327 Report

Quoted By:

Only story I have

>Some kid at my school, no idea what's wrong with him
>Seems pretty normal, a bit nerdy and socially awkward
>When you go anywhere near a fire alarm or alarmed door, anything that says "Do not touch" he goes ballistic
>Screaming and flailing around and hitting people, sometimes curled up in the fetal position, pulling hair out etc.

He genuinely scared me sometimes, because as soon as you backed away he would calm down instantly and continue doing whatever he was doing as if nothing had happened.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:45:00 No.12217350 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217309
Sandpaper works best for your hands in those situations.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:46:00 No.12217367 Report

Quoted By:

My older brother is retarded. I have to deal with this kind of shit every single day, man.
I know how you feel, OP. Boy, do I know how it feels.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:54:00 No.12217456 Report

Quoted By: >>12217670

Keep 'em coming guy. Op still here?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 11:54:00 No.12217460 Report

Quoted By: >>12217630

>>12217149

Go on, please, nigger. Goddamn, at what point is a comment original?!

nf02mvkijd0o2-wdbfvb292of

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:07:00 No.12217630 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217460
Haha. That's pretty much where the story ends.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:09:00 No.12217653 Report

Quoted By:

>be at jeebus youth club
>dicussion about how the church has helped you
>special person (retard) stands up
>this is gonna be good.jpg
>I WANNA FANK DA CHURCH FOR HELPING ME AND MY FAMIWY THROUH HARD TIEMS
>aww that was boring
>AND MY PAWENTS PROBABLY WOULDNT WANT ME TO SAY THIS BUT
>fuckyes.jpg
>ONE TIME I WAS GONNA WATCH A MOVIE SO I HADDA GIT SOME CHIPS AND COKE
>I WINT DOWN TO DA MILKBAR AND GOT DEM
>SHE SAID IT WAS 3 DOLLARS AND FORTY NO WAIT
>THREE DOLLARS AND FIRTY CENTS
>I ONLY HAD FWEE DOLLARS AND TEN CENTS
>I SAID WHY CAN YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME
>SHE SAID NO
>I SAID WHY CANT YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME
>SHE SAID NO
>AND IT WENT ON LIKE DAT FOR A WHILE
>DEN DA POLICE CAME AND I WAS SCARED AND RAN AWAY
>AND I WANNA THANK THE CHURCH
>dontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontla
ughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaughdontlaugh
>eyecontact with girl im sitting next to
>oh god dat eye contact
>have to go to the bathroom to laugh
>she had to go outside.

oh jeebus club you so crazeh

(yeahyeah im a faggot for believan in jeebus)

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO beeffreakout.png, 3KiB, 114x230

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:11:00 No.12217670 Report

Quoted By: >>12217861

>>12217456
Okay, here's some short ones.

>Cooking dinner at group home
>Just about done
>Go into basement workshop to get client
>Oh wait, he isn't done working with the same damned bird house he's been painting for a week
>Hits me in the face with a wrench

Also
>Different client
>Has known homosexual tendencies
>Follows me everywhere I go
>I go to the bathroom, take the most heinous shit I've ever taken
>Exit the bathroom feeling ashamed
>He's waiting outside, with a shit eating grin rubbing his hands together like Mr. Burns

Another:
>Going to stupid ass military jerk-off fest at City Island
>Client runs up to some decorated Air Force officer
>"HI!!! HOW ARE YOOOOU!!?!?!?!?"
>"Well sir, I am doing well. How about you?"
>I catch up
>"I'm sorry that he bothered you, sir, he's just so enthusiastic."
>"Well then maybe he should join up!"
>My.
>Fucking.
>Face.
>When.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:13:00 No.12217705 Report

Quoted By:

OH GOD ARCHIVE THIS THREAD

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:15:00 No.12217724 Report

Quoted By: >>12217790 >>12217855

>lifeguard at local pool
>tards come in on my shift everyday and take up the entire pool
>all the tards are total bros except this one that looked like George Lopez, but as a midget
>never have to work because the handlers take care of everything
>sleep through half my shift
>only had to work when george Lopez puked all over the pool deck.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:21:00 No.12217790 Report

Quoted By: >>12217894

>>12217724
Oh god, this reminds me of a terrible story

>Taking client to swimming lessons at the YMCA
>Sweet, I get to sit on my ass for 2 hours and not do shit
>Fucking hambeast rolls out of the pool
>Looks like Kathy Bates with a lazy eye after having a stroke
>"HAY ANON, YER CYOOT"
>"Haha, well, thank you."
>"AH' WANNA' GIV YOOZ A BLOW-JAHB"
>wat
>"TAKE OFF YER PANTS"
>Her staff person runs up
>"Oh god, I'm so sorry, she usually never does this."
>mfw the only girls who want to suck my dick are retarded

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:28:00 No.12217855 Report

Quoted By: >>12217894

>>12217724
I forgot to say he would throw up in the same place, at almost the same time, at least once a week.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:29:00 No.12217861 Report

Quoted By: >>12217935

>>12217670
>Hits me in the face with a wrench

Ahaha, I love you OP. Keep them coming! PREEZ!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:31:00 No.12217894 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217790
They're all retarded, some just more so than others.

>>12217855
Hahaha, wtf?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:35:00 No.12217935 Report

Quoted By: >>12217957 >>12218490 >>12219055

>>12217861
Okay, some more Angry Client stories.

>Chilling in the group home's living room, watching TV with the other clients
>Angry Client comes out
>Screams, motions towards his room
>I go to investigate
>Hits me in the back of the head
>I hit the floor
>OH NO WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME
>I black out
>Come to, staff person is holding him back
>Thank you Raptor Jesus

Or
>Sitting in group home, waiting for clients to come home from day program
>Angry Client bursts through the front door
>"AAAAUUUGH"
>ohshit
>Chases me through the house
>I lock myself in the bathroom
>"AAAAUUUGH"
>Door breaks
>Throws me against the sink
>Black out
>Same staff is there saving my ass

Or even more
>By myself
>Angry Client comes upstairs from his basement workshop
>oh snap he's got a ball peen hammer
>Looks at me
>"AAAUUUGH"
>Fuck that noise
>I'm out on the back porch
>He can't figure out the sliding class door
>For whatever reason, he won't use the hammer to break the glass
>I light a cigarette
>Fuck your shit, I'm on break.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:37:00 No.12217957 Report

Quoted By: >>12217966 >>12218000

>>12217935
>>12217935
HAHAHHA seriously you should get hazord pay. Do you get hazord pay?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:38:00 No.12217966 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217957
>>12217957
except spelled right. with an a

totally meant a

mudman !!rTVzk6+aK

mudman !!rTVzk6+aK Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:38:00 No.12217971 Report

Quoted By: >>12218247

>For whatever reason, he won't use the hammer to break the glass
>I light a cigarette
>Fuck your shit, I'm on break.

I want this story acted out, recorded, and then converted into .gif format.
This is the very best thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:39:00 No.12217975 Report

Quoted By: >>12217989

Fucking science. Why are retards so strong?

possiblox

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:39:00 No.12217978 Report

Quoted By: >>12218020

So OP, I have to ask, do you not try to defend yourself because you're not allowed to, or are you simply unable to? I think my deepest survival instincts would kick in in a situation like that...

mudman !!rTVzk6+aK

mudman !!rTVzk6+aK Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:40:00 No.12217989 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217975
Better question, why are their penises so huge?

>>12217149
knows what I mean

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:41:00 No.12218000 Report

Quoted By: >>12218024

>>12217957
I get an extra 4k/year for working in an "aggressive" home.

aka, everything has to be bolted down, or else it will get thrown at me.

Never mind that, for whatever retarded ass reason, the company allows my clients to use tools such as hammers, saws, screw drivers, and the like.

It's like they want me to get terrible, grievous injuries.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:43:00 No.12218020 Report

Quoted By: >>12218031

>>12217978
Well you see, I am a fully capable Human.

As such, I am able to discern which situations might be bad for myself at the present moment, and which might be bad for me permanently.

I'm more than willing to accept the temporary pain -- followed by paid leave, bonus pay, and similar cushions to keep me from complaining -- rather than blast a Mentally Retarded guy in the face, break all the bones in his skull, and go to jail for abuse.

Fucking decisions

How do they work?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Picture 1.png, 13KiB, 807x80

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:44:00 No.12218024 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218000
I swear, getting stabbed with a screwdriver is scarier than getting stabbed with a knife.

At least a knife is SUPPOSED to pierce the flesh.

Also, I think archive readers deserve this thread.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:45:00 No.12218031 Report

Quoted By: >>12218052

>>12218020
Do ladies find the scars attractive?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:46:00 No.12218052 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218031
This job, and the stories it brings, has gotten me laid on more than two but less than four occasions.

And I loved every last fucking second of it.

Hell yeah, alpha quality pussy for beta quality work.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:46:00 No.12218055 Report

Quoted By: >>12218071

OP, have you caught any of them fucking? what do?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:48:00 No.12218071 Report

Quoted By: >>12218109 >>12218116

>>12218055
I haven't personally caught any of them fucking, but our training mandates that we let them continue fucking.

God damned feel-good liberals.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:49:00 No.12218082 Report

Quoted By: >>12218151

OP, are you not allowed to defend yourself if a client like Angry Client threatens your health? Like in one or two of those, could you have thrown a punch to keep him at bay until you can get help?

I understand the concept of hitting them is kind awful, but still, he could seriously fucking hurt you. he sounds retard strong. which leads me to: is there such a thing as retard strength? How? Why? And when will they take over?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:51:00 No.12218109 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218071
Would you rather disrupt the 'tard mating process?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:51:00 No.12218116 Report

Quoted By: >>12218155 >>12218182

>>12218071
Really? What if one impregnates a tard-chick? What do you do?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:54:00 No.12218151 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218082
In my state, we have "approved methods" of defending ourselves which prevent harm to our clients. As you might assume, these methods are...fucking retarded. So, in effect, no. Our best option is to run and hide like little bitches, even though any one of the staff on duty could easily put these guys in their place.

As for retard strength: it's a flawed concept. These guys get way more angry, way more quickly than we do. If any one of us were to find ourselves in the same situation emotionally that they regularly find themselves in, we could do the same damage. To a Mentally Retarded guy, taking his favorite seat is the same as raping your newborn baby in front of you. In that situation, I'm sure you could toss a dude to the floor pretty easily.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:54:00 No.12218155 Report

Quoted By: >>12218180

>>12218116
It comes out intelligent. -*- = +
or maybe double retarded. -+-=-*2

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:56:00 No.12218168 Report

Quoted By:

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>samuel callict

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:56:00 No.12218180 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218155
Hahahaha

OP, what are some of their "quirks", like the favorite seat thing or they have to do this or that a special way and anything that interferes is dead?

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 12:57:00 No.12218182 Report

Quoted By: >>12218233 >>12218240

>>12218116
Then the baby is, if carried to term, taken by CPS/DYFS/whatever system exists in your state, and becomes another burden to the taxpayer.

Hooray.

That is why I don't authorize co-ed socialization in my group home.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:01:00 No.12218233 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218182
please more stories. you are god.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:02:00 No.12218240 Report

Quoted By: >>12218269

>>12218182
God, that is fucking awful. I imagine the baby would indeed come out completely bonkers, yes?

You don't allow them to interact with the opposite sex at all? Wouldn't it be more "normal" for them to learn how to appropriately be in the company of the opposite sex?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:03:00 No.12218247 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217971
oh sweet jesus yes

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:05:00 No.12218269 Report

Quoted By: >>12218298

>>12218240

>God, that is fucking awful. I imagine the baby would indeed come out completely bonkers, yes?

>You don't allow them to interact with the opposite sex at all? Wouldn't it be more "normal" for them to learn how to appropriately be in the company of the opposite sex?

Read what you said again:

>>God, that is fucking awful. I imagine the baby would indeed come out completely bonkers, yes?
>>You don't allow them to interact with the opposite sex at all? Wouldn't it be more "normal" for them to learn how to appropriately be in the company of the opposite sex?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:08:00 No.12218298 Report

Quoted By: >>12218311

>>12218269
I don't understand what's wrong with what I typed. He mentioned earlier that they try and make their lives as close to a "normal person's" as possible, so I imagine supervised co-ed socializing would be a step towards that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:09:00 No.12218300 Report

Quoted By: >>12218349

what are the chances of me molesting a tard and getting away with it if i were so inclined?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:09:00 No.12218305 Report

Quoted By:

My best friend has cerebral palsy, but all it does is prevent him from moving his left arm all the way.

Also-
>in high school
>history class, one retarded kid
>always yelled at people to be quiet
>interrupts class to talk about star wars
>friend who sat next to him always egged him on
>taught him curse words in spanish, telling him they meant other things
>he gets in trouble for yelling them
>after high school I learned he apparently ran into traffic chasing after an ice cream truck and got hit by a car, went into a come
>should I laugh?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:09:00 No.12218311 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218298

You also mentioned how awful it was that they were having kids.

Babies are made through such interactions.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:11:00 No.12218332 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216024
Aw, that last one was kinda heartwarming :3

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:12:00 No.12218338 Report

Quoted By: >>12218360

We allow them plenty of socialization with the opposite setting outside of the home.

They don't just sit in the house all day long looking at the wall.

I will not, however, encourage sexual activity by bringing a member of the opposite sex over to the home.

You call it fascism,

I call it damage control.

OP !!dEPTSFkn2

OP !!dEPTSFkn2 Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:13:00 No.12218349 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218300
Very little.

Just 'cause they're retarded doesn't mean they won't remember your face.

Although, because they're retarded, they'll be more likely to talk about it, and want to show who it was they did it with.

In other words

You'd be fucked.

In the end, quite literally.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:15:00 No.12218360 Report

Quoted By:

>>12218338

Can you think of any stories involving co-ed retards?

This is the first good r9k thread I've seen in awhile

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:17:00 No.12218384 Report

Quoted By:

Wait wait wait
OP or you in Sacramento?
In a very old building?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:22:00 No.12218431 Report

Quoted By:

>working my bar job
>guy orders a beer and a couple of shots
>told him its his last round because i think hes had to much to drink
>downs to beer and shots
>his father yelling at me.

i got a retarded kid, who's apparently never meat to have alcohol shit faced in a bar full of 400+ people moshing to a band. security had to drag him out of the mosh

i thought he was just drunk lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:30:00 No.12218490 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217935
You need to marry that staff member, regardless of gender

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:33:00 No.12218516 Report

Quoted By:

So, OP - is your workplace co-ed? I'd imagine the clients are fucking like crazy behind (or in front) of everyone's back. Any good retard love stories you can share? Also, what about sexual education type stuff if they are indeed porking each other?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:38:00 No.12218546 Report

Quoted By:

Very entertaining thread. Thanks OP and all

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:45:00 No.12218598 Report

Quoted By:

You're fucking wonderful, OP. <3

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 13:51:00 No.12218665 Report

Quoted By:

I knew a girl on and off through elementary school and high school. Her name was Laurel. Her dad was rich as fuck and her mom was the stay at home and spend daddy's money type. The poor girl was some combination of autistic and narcoleptic/epileptic. Specific things I remember about her:

>Everyone she recognized avoided her, because if she knew who you were and saw you, she would run up and give you a hug. And then not leave you alone.

>Once in a gym class, my friend and I were in the locker room getting changed. Laurel was also in the class. When my friend had her shirt off, Laurel came up out of nowhere and started rubbing her shoulders.

>She was also in an art class with me once. High table, hard floors in the room. She had these episodes ever since she was young where she would blank out, tense up, and more or less pass out while gripping and twitching slightly. Seizures of some kind I guess. But she learned early on that if she had one, mommy would come pick her up early from school. All the time, I had to help two other girls at my table stabilize her and set her on the floor so she didn't get hurt while faking an episode. It got annoying because it happened almost every day.

Yeah... Her dad apparently bought her a Mercedes for her 16th birthday. I find that comical because there is no way that bitch will ever be allowed to operate a vehicle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:23:00 No.12218920 Report

Quoted By:

Bumpbump blox blox

somemoreq3q35haredfg

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:25:00 No.12218937 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215533
Very subtle troll.

>intellectually disabled

Don't think I didn't fucking see what you did there, amigo.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:28:00 No.12218954 Report

Quoted By:

keep up the awesome work. If you're enjoying your work, all the more power to you.
Hopefully, if you have the will to do it, you should start something similar to http://www.fullduplex.org/tardblog/

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:45:00 No.12219055 Report

Quoted By:

>>12217935

Good heavens I haven't lol'd so hard at a thread in /r9k/ in a long time.

Thanks you, sir.

AAUUUGH~

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:46:00 No.12219061 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215905
Yeah, no.

I don't work with the retarded, but it should go without saying that when you work around retards (as in, more than one), you really have to be prepared for ANYTHING.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:46:00 No.12219062 Report

Quoted By:

I'm laughing my fucking ass off.

OP, I love you.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Photo 40.jpg, 65KiB, 640x480

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:52:00 No.12219097 Report

Quoted By:

Hello OP
this is a gift from me to you

captcha related : the Wheini

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Picture 15.png, 802KiB, 768x624

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:58:00 No.12219128 Report

Quoted By:

hoi, a better version of my fabulous drawing

songbird !!1nkONuw+p

songbird !!1nkONuw+p Mon 29 Nov 2010 14:59:00 No.12219134 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215801

I just woke my roommate up I was laughing so hard.
Thanks, broseph.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:08:00 No.12219172 Report

Quoted By:

I don't wanna give too many details, but there's this kid who comes to the club space at my college (It's basically a pair of rooms with cubicle dividers meant to act as offices for the clubs that didn't need their own rooms. One club thought to use it as a place to actually congregate and stuff, and the trend spread from there) and is some kind of autistic. He constantly has tons of stuff with him, mostly aging portable games. Think Game&Watch type stuff, and sometimes a radio or something. He stinks to high hell, and is always pestering people to play yu-gi-oh or pokemon with him.

It'd be fine, but he's very insistent and doesn't seem to learn who does and doesn't want to do stuff with him. He also takes it really personally when he's told to just shower regularly, and somehow became a staunch capitalism-hater type who doesn't seem to have any understanding of how capitalism actually works, or why you should hate it.

Now that I think about it, he's pretty much what would happen if you took the worse-off /r9k/ posters and told them to BE ALPHA and GET OUT THERE and TALK TO GIRLS

I don't find him much more than an annoyance, but some people really can't stand him. I guess it's because I'm obviously not someone who plays a lot of pokemon or yu-gi-oh, so he doesn't ask to play me all the time.

Although I DID play pokemon with him once, and he wasn't bad. My team was a tad underlevelled, but still, he seemed to have a better grasp on it than most of the people I played on Net/ShoddyBattle back when I still cared about pokemon all those months ago

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:18:00 No.12219233 Report

Quoted By:

RN here. I do ICU for kaiser and oncall scrub for a local surgeon. I hated my psych ward clinicals.

Kudos to you OP.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:25:00 No.12219282 Report

Quoted By:

>> ... then Dopplers out of existence

I, for one, think this thread is worth archiving.

OP's poetry alone is a jewel of literature

R@0

R@0 Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:38:00 No.12219354 Report

Quoted By: >>12219359

My sister is 20 and has downs. She is capable of having a job and doing most things but still has to be watched.
>sister likes to swing on the swingset
>little neighbor girl who was 2 asked my 12 year old sister if she could swing
>sister replies " I'll put a boot in your ass !"
Another time
>sister use to have one of those yak back toys
>she would fart into them and play it over and over again.

She is a master troll.
>on vacation,drying bathing suit on balcony
>sister is on balcony
>walk outside "lol where is my suit ?"
>it was 10 levels down on the ground.
>she looks at me and says " it wasn't me it was my foot"
>trollface.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:40:00 No.12219359 Report

Quoted By: >>12219485

>>12215801
the wonders of the developed world, right here

>>12219354
She honestly sounds like she's just been trolling your ass since the dawn of time

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:52:00 No.12219458 Report

Quoted By: >>12219517

>at the bus stop with friend
>shortbus pulls up
>friend starts humming a-team theme tune
>laughter and guilt

R@0

R@0 Mon 29 Nov 2010 15:56:00 No.12219485 Report

Quoted By:

>>12219359
Yeah my sister is a character,
She use to put make up on my brother when he was sleeping.

Another story:
>go into bathroom to brush teeth
>sister is staring at me giggling
>i use the toothpaste
>wtf foam ...mfw it was fucking gel saving cream
>she lol'd down the hall and denied everything.

Decade !!GCDrKbHwh

Decade !!GCDrKbHwh Mon 29 Nov 2010 16:02:00 No.12219517 Report

Quoted By: >>12219591

>>12219458
Here you go,I thought this would make you have a good laugh
http://tubedubber.com/#QoPt7OYBSVY:wyz_2DEah4o:0:100:0:0:true

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 16:13:00 No.12219591 Report

Quoted By:

>>12219517
That was pretty much the exact effect.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 16:17:00 No.12219623 Report

Quoted By:

>>12216775
>>12216775
>>12215441

hahahahahaha oh jesus

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 16:48:00 No.12219876 Report

Quoted By:

>>12219506
>>12219506
i hear no tube dubber

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 20:01:00 No.12221134 Report

Quoted By:

These are truly amazing. Makes me grateful my bro's only slow rather than full on retarrd

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 20:08:00 No.12221173 Report

Quoted By:

i came into this thread just to comment on the achewood image in the OP

achewood is great

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 20:12:00 No.12221199 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215441
>the mentally retarded shares his experiences>
Are you moot?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO hank hill (no glasses).jpg, 12KiB, 347x378

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 20:28:00 No.12221317 Report

Quoted By:

> i was transferred to a school for learning-disabled kids because i refused to do work in normal high school
> eight hours a day in a room containing a dozen obnoxious retards
> all i do is sleep
> one of them likes to WHOOOOOOOOOOO spontaneously probably like fifty times a day
> i have no way to express how mentally painful it is to be around these derelicts
> me fromage quando i can't drop out

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 20:37:00 No.12221395 Report

Quoted By:

>In maths exam, middle school (I would have been about 11-12)
>Kid in front of me starts visibly struggling.
>Ignore it.
>Can hear him saying, "It's too hard. It's too hard. It's too hard," to himself quietly.
>All of a sudden he starts shaking the table up and down and crying, "It's too hard" HGGGGN!"
>Slams table and cries to himself.
>Everyone ignores it.

To be honest he was an all right guy, just a bit... autistic.
Fast forward 8 years and I fucked his sister. Shit was so cash.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 21:27:00 No.12221917 Report

Quoted By:

Retards. Forever alone ;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 21:36:00 No.12221998 Report

Quoted By:

Retard Strength DOES IN FACT EXIST, the ancient romans used to incorporate retards as pack mules for the especially heavy loads. Whipping them would increase the amount they could pull or move. They would usually be chain linked in order to use their combined retard strength which was about equal to some of the strongest animals of that time. They were usually known as Retardus Exemus

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 21:57:00 No.12222176 Report

Quoted By:

Might as well add to this epic thread

>neighbors youngest of 3 boys most likely has autism, not sure if they found out yet.
>apparently, back before they knew anything was off with him, they spanked him once or twice for discipline.
>He apparently liked it
>wat

also, they pretty much stopped disciplining him entirely. One day about a year ago, I made an appearance at the kids birthday and while I was talking to the father, the mother had put a plate of cream puffs out and told him not to touch them. He, of course, touches them while looking right at her, getting a response of "Blake, no!" (his name is blake). He then proceeds to take a cream puff, lick it and put it back while staring directly at her. Nothing from the mother. He does this for about a minute and she does nothing at fucking all. One time he apparently ate a large portion of the adopted daughters birthday cake. No discipline.
What the fuck, it's like they're encouraging this behavior. All of my rage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 22:01:00 No.12222206 Report

Quoted By:

>Family friend has 2 kids, one of them is disabled but they're not sure what it is yet
>They visit
>Disabled kid, 10 years old, comes in my room
>I decide to turn on Sonic the Hedgehog 3 for him
>"This is what I used to play when I was your age"
>He stares at me crosseyed
>Says "I don't believe it, I don't believe it" repeating it and trailing off
>Puts his ENTIRE MIDDLE FINGER up his nose
>Oh God wat
>Walks up and asks for the controller
>I don't want to deny him it
>Hand over to booger coated hand
>When he leaves, antibacterial wipes, antibacterial wipes everywhere

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 29 Nov 2010 23:53:00 No.12223216 Report

Quoted By:

i WANt to bump this thread.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 00:11:00 No.12223366 Report

Quoted By:

I feel bad that I think these people shouldn't be allowed to live, but really, they shouldn't be allowed to live.

>never woorri

No, Captcha, I do worry. I do.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 02:26:00 No.12224727 Report

Quoted By:

bumpin just in case

Captcha: dwelling Gradors

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 03:23:00 No.12225446 Report

Quoted By:

>>12215441

>At boy scouts, a presentation of some sort, really big retard, nice guy, just stupid. He's in the presentation or whatever and when it's his turn to speak he says "That's right Jeff*", and then just says some stuff quoted from the amanda show. *The guy's name was not Jeff....He then proceded to yell "Snowball Fight" and ran around the room for the next hour.

>At high school, trail of drool. That marks the schedule of the drooling retard.

>At high school in a computer type class that teaches you how to type business letters and other stuff in MS Word. Retard named Josh. He was like 20 or so. One day... "Mrs. Loftus....I...I...sneezed....and something came out...." Computer screen glazed with snot. The guy got the perfect job that fit him perfectly. Last I heard he was a greeter at Lowes or Home Depot. forget which. He had this creepy thing where he would always smile...and I mean always.

>At a serious presentation about about double atomic bomb survivors. (Japanese guys who survived Hiroshima then went home to Nagasaki....) This guy...he was not retarded, but would go into these noisy couphing spasms during the entire presentation. I heard nothing but coughs and slups that evening.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 03:33:00 No.12225575 Report

Quoted By:

>beautiful day everything is normal
>take a bus to make a shortcut
>A WOMAN WITH DOWN'S SYNDOME BITES MY HAND
>freak out
>go off on the next stop
>scared of mental people since then

sad.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 03:46:00 No.12225716 Report

Quoted By:

why would you want to work with the mentally handicapped, terrible job

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 03:55:00 No.12225816 Report

Quoted By:

>be outcast in highschool, have no friends. Don't really care
>everytime the slow kids saw me in the hallways they would say hi and greet me like a friend

retardbros are truebros
;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 04:18:00 No.12226060 Report

Quoted By:

>3rd grade in primary school (10 years old)
>mom put in class for children with stuff like dyslexia, dysgraphia etc.
>don't actually have anything (see below for more)
>reality is that in this class are some retards, gypsies, kids with anger issues and shit

>one day Downs girls runs out of the blue from classroom
>people are chasing her all over the school while she's laughing like mad

>same girl gets stabbed by a scribing compass in stomach by kid with anger issues

I am sure I will remember some more. My best friend and I were placed there by our mothers who did it with their best intentions. Neither of us actually have any dysfunctions. I was diagnosed with one because I basically started writing dictates really quickly because I enjoyed watching classroom from the back desk. This obviously affected my handwriting (it looked like shit) and I couldn't unlearn it quickly enough. Sadly it stuck with me. In any case we ruled that fucking class. It was great fun and I didn't have to do anything to get straight 1's (EUROPE FUCK YEAH!). It ruined me for life. ;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 04:29:00 No.12226218 Report

Quoted By: >>12226769 >>12227639

>In special Ed school for freshman year of high school because I used to throw horrible tantrums to get attention back before I turned 13. It was a habit I had learned when my older brother used to rape me. I basically learned that strangers helped me more than my parents did. I'm mostly normal now in that I don't throw tantrums, but I don't interact with people unless it's business related, and I can't really maintain a relationship because I can't open up to another person and because I still get really defensive when somebody touches me.
>I was basically in a class for emotionally disturbed kids. Like rape victims and shit. I wasn't having tantrum problems at that point
>Most of the kids in the class were fairly normal, but they were kind of easy to set up. I remember this one stoner kid with a single mom named Jeffery. He had like a deal going with the staff that was like he wasn't supposed to swear and he should keep all his comments appropriate and positive or something. All it would take would be a dirty joke. He'd buy into it, and he'd start arguing with the staff when they tried to correct him. I would go grab some popcorn from the machine and share it with the other tards while he devolved into a screaming violent mess and got into a fistfight with security. I did it like twice a week. I think the teacher wanted to kill me, but it was better than t.v. or any of the shit on the internet.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 04:35:00 No.12226301 Report

Quoted By:

>be 8
>waiting for school bus across the street from a school for the deaf.
>class gets out over there or something and deaf kids, deaf kids everywhere.
>Group of them approach me and begin signing at me with their hands.
>No idea what was said or... mimed rather. Freaked me out.
>They push me down in the snow.
>Uneasy around the deaf the rest of life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 05:11:00 No.12226769 Report

Quoted By:

>>12226218

>"would go grab some popcorn from the machine and share it with the other tards while he devolved into a screaming violent mess"

Can't stop laughing at that

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 30 Nov 2010 06:25:00 No.12227639 Report

Quoted By:

>>12226218
> It was a habit I had learned when my older brother used to rape me.
I was definitely not expecting that. I'm sorry for what happened to you.

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