It all depends on context really, I have said a bunch of things some that considered witty and some retarded. Some examples of when they didn't turn out like I expected them:
>>2819944This reminded me of TWO.
I was fairly good friends with a cheerleader in high school. She was pretty popular with the guys, so I wasn't interested in her like that. One day, I was going to pick her up after practice, and her friend asked what I was doing there.
I said "I'm here to pick [girl] up."
"Can you pick me up too?"
So I grabbed her from under the arms and literally picked her up then said "yup." She laughed, then said "Now smell your hands." I put my hands up to my face like Mary Catherine Gallagher, inhaled deeply, and said "That's bad." She laughed.
"You're funny."
"Funny? My nostrils didn't think so."
She stopped laughing and called me an asshole. She turned around so fast she hairslapped me. WHAT?
On another occasion, there was a really tiny blond girl in one of my classes. One day, she asked if I would mind if she took off her shoes because they were hurting her feet. I asked if she would like a massage and she said yes. I gently picked up one of her feet and put a little bit of pressure to gauge how much pain she was in. She winced. I said "How could such tiny feet hurt so much?" She giggled and said I was doing a really good job. "See it DOES pay to have a foot fetish." She pulled her foot back and shot me an angry look. "That was a joke you know." She didn't believe me and didn't talk to me for a few weeks. I met her boyfriend later and he mentioned that she told him about it. For some reason he was totally understanding and, to top it off, he turned to her and said "see, so stop flattering yourself, babe. Not everybody loves your stinky feet." She made a cute little frowny face at him, but he can get away with shit like that as a boyfriend I guess.
