the last time i saw a thread like this it made my day... could we please have a retard story thread?

This big fat down syndrome kid at my school LOVED Queen, particularly Freddie Mercury. His name was Tom. One day for assembly, the head of our grade [yr 12] allowed him to make a 'special' presentation for the school. He drew a shitty mustache on his face and wore a curly hair wig and called himself 'Tommie Mercury' but he couldn't get the cd player working and flipped out and everyone started laughing. Next thing I know all the year 8ers in the front crowd were screaming and ran everywhere. Turns out he got pissed off at the laughing and THREW THE FUCKING CD PLAYER INTO THE CROWD AND SHAT HIMSELF. A couple of kids got hurt pretty bad, because the CD player was one of those huge ghetto blasters that the school had been using since the 90's. It smashed a girl so hard in the face the face plate of it smashed into pieces and the thing had to be thrown away.

Your turn!