Insect/animal/arachnid greentext stories.>go to take out the garbage >in a hurry >don't put my shoes on >step in the biggest ant pile i have ever seen >hundreds of ants biting me in between my toes
Anonymous
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>drivin' >not givin' a fuck >cold runnin' into bugs >thousands of creatures up in my grill
Anonymous
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>step in shit >awww man gross >wipe foot off in grass >wipe foot off in pile of ants >GOD DAMMIT
Anonymous
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>Get stung by bee. >"FUCK." >Take bee, put in line of ants. >Next day be is gone. >CIRCLE OF LIFE.
Anonymous
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>See bug >Kill it >Is a man plzbitchesblox
Anonymous
>working the yard >turn over wheelbarrow that's been upside down for about a year >spiders' eggs fucking everywhere, some even being carried around >one giant spider in the very middle >turn wheelbarrow back over, I don't need to use it
CaptainCrunch !!adwcx7U5w
Quoted By:
>>8983808 You would get maybe 4-5 ants on you if you just stepped in it.
This is probably how it went.
>go to take out the garbage >in a hurry >don't put my shoes on >see big ant pile >stick foot in for 5 minutes, so you can have interesting story >green text on /r9k/ >coolface Anonymous
Quoted By:
The Game>The Game
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>I don't know how to greentext
Anonymous
>>8983881 You forgot the part where you set the wheel barrow on fire, and move to a new house.
Fuck. That. Shit.
Anonymous
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>not killing bugs, because I am good guy >bugs and me party >bugs a cool guy who doesnt afraid of anteater
Anonymous
>see bee in a flower >trap it inside and take flower to class >release bee >girls scream
Anonymous
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>chilling in room >see ant crawling on floor >squish it with a kleenex-protected waterbottle on a 5 foot stick >stay up all night paranoid that there are more ants hiding waiting to crawl on me in my sleep >feel like a pussy
Anonymous
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>>8983947 i would like to party down with this anon
seems like a p cool guy
Anonymous
>>8983922 Not shitting I was going to say the same about setting it ablaze. Or at least using explosives
Anonymous
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>friend dangerously allergic to bees >whenever fly comes into classroom, yell "BEE!" >one day real bee comes in >yell "BEE!" R.I.P. 1989 - 2000
Anonymous
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>drivin around with friends, one in front with me, on in back >eventually take them home >go home, open back seat door >HOLY SHIT THERES A FROG ON THE SEAT It was there the whole time, apparently. None of us noticed it.
Anonymous
>go for a swim in the pond behind my house >get out dry off >Put pants back on >Angry hornets in my pants sting my cock and balls >shit swells up like a motherfucker >worst fuckin day of my life man
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
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>pick up shoe to put on >huge ass spider in shoe >throw shoe out window >retrieve shoe >wear shoe ALSO>picking cucumbers in garden >swarm of fucking wasps >run like a nigger from the cops >return to garden in 15 minutes
Anonymous
>be a little kid who's deathly afraid of spiders >running around doing little kid shit >all of a sudden I stop for no apparent reason >all of a sudden my eyes focus on a gigantic spider hanging on a web strand, perfectly eye level and no less then 3 inches away from my face >if I hadn't stopped, the fucking thing would have went on my face This has actually happened several times.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984020 Ouch.. I can feel it by just imagining it
Anonymous
>>8984032 You've probably walked into and swallowed thousands of spiders without even knowing it.
Anonymous
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>come across a spider web with hundreds if not thousands of baby spiders >grab a can of WD-40 and a barbecue lighter >I love the smell of burnt spiders in the morning
Anonymous
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>putting on old shoes to do yard work >Something crunchy, like a leaf, in one >reach in and get it out >its a dead roach >scream and throw shoe I threw the shoes out later.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984060 You've probably believed everything anyone has ever told you.
Anonymous
>>8984060 Doubtfully. Although I'm perfectly aware that several spiders have most likely crawled into my mouth when I'm asleep.
Fun fact: the average person eats over a dozen spiders while you're asleep in your lifetime
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Walk into room >Fucking huge spider just sitting on my keyboard like he owns it >Run out of room and get bug killing spray >Come back, it's gone. >Stay up whole night afraid it's going to rape my face
Anonymous
>>8983972 Explosives? Naw. It's too sudden and inconsistent - the spiders at the edge of the blast would go flying and land in various other places so that everything within a 5 mile radius (because the spiders could be carried by the wind for quite a while) would slowly be repopulated by the survivors of the blast. (mind you, only the strongest spiders would survive, so the resulting populations of spiders would be all really strong as a result of natural selection. and the owners of the infested areas would keep blowing up the spiders and the spiders would keep adapting until the flame-retardant superspider would evolve. humanity. falls.
nuke the wheelbarrow.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984097 >fun fact >NOT-SO-FUCKING-FUN Anonymous
Quoted By:
>4 years old >Walking back home from the neighbors house. >Huge tarantula leaps out of the grass straight for my face >barely dodge it, run home faster than I have ever run, screaming louder than I have ever screamed >No wonder I'm a shut in.
Anonymous
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>saw bee's nest hanging on the roof at school >friends and I threw random stuffs at the nest >someone threw a fucking shoe and hit the nest >bees everywhere >run like hell >everyone was banned from going to that block for like a week until bees are exterminated
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Sitting on computer browsing 4chan. >Spider on a string 8 ft up from the ceiling comes come right in my fucking face. >Make face similar to OP's pic except wider and rounder eyes. >Bricks fucking shat, but it didn't get me! >Out back shoveling an ant pile without shoes on. >26 ants biting my foot at once, FUCK. >Kill them all, always wear shoes now. >Step on a bee, but the curve in my foot prevented me from squishing it. >It stung the bottom of my foot and got away. I cried cause I was only 7 years old at the time lol!
Anonymous
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>It's night, and raining >Tired from work >Best sleep I ever had >Woke up from hearing some rustling >Cockroach dancing on my nose Shit sucks.
Anonymous
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>sitting in lecture hall >feel crawling sensation on leg >get up and do a jig >it was just the lining of my pant >sit back down awkwardly
Anonymous
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>walking around at camp >see something moving in the grass >think it's a toad >put hand down to pick it up >actually a huge spider >run away
Anonymous
>>8984115 Or he could just torch them all with WD-40 and a lighter like I always do when I run into situations like these. None ever survive. And it's fucking fun.
Anonymous
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>in the woods with cousins >suddenly, flies everywhere >oh god those aren't flies, they're BEEEEEEEEEEEES
Anonymous
>See moth in pool >Pick it up with my hand >It chills there, just looking at me >I say, "Be free!" and shake my hand slightly >Moth flies into the air, going over my two-story house >I watch until he/she fades from view in the blue sky >Feels good man
Anonymous
>>8984115 Or he could make a homemade nuke of sorts, I've done it before. You take a can of Oust (or any kind of aerosol air freshener thing thats flammable) and pump the Oust into the wheelbarrow. Then before any of the Oust can escape you secure the wheelbarrow to the ground with like nails so that it's just a dome full of Oust and spiders. Make sure that when you clamp the edges of the wheel barrow down you have a rope present that gets clamped down on, one half of the rope on your side and one half of it coiled on the inside of the wheelbarrow. then you light the end of the rope like a fuse and get the fuck away while it burns down. When the rope hits the Oust chamber it goes up like an inferno, but it's all contained by the wheelbarrow so it's just a spider holocaust.
I call it Oustwitz.
Anonymous
When I was younger I'd always wage war on a massive ant colony in my backyard that seemed to come back every year. My tactics usually consisted of: -digging it up with a shovel -flooding it with a hose -spraying various flammable liquids onto it and torching it -pissing on it -throwing rocks at it I was afraid that one day the ants would team up with spiders and launch an offensive at the house
Smilecat !TJ9qoWuqvA
Quoted By:
>See spider on ceiling >Get pole to smash >Pole misses, spider falls down >Can't find it, freak out. >Spend hours looking for spider, never find it. Figure you never will >Go to sleep, bed next to wall >Open eyes in the middle of the night, FUCKING SPIDER CRAWLING 2 INCHES AWAY FROM MY FACE!!!!! >Kill it with a shoe, don't sleep rest of the night.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984215 >Oustwitz lol let the bodies hit the floor
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
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>>8984219 We had a brick patio in our yard that seemed to just be taken over by ants in the fall. I got with my cousins and we started playing basketball on the ant hills. Pissed them off like crazy.
Anonymous
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>Gotta piss >Walk to bathroom >Light is off >Walk inside >Step on rug >Wet popping noise+wet feeling between my big toe and toe next to it >Turn light on, look at bottom of foot >COCKROACHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF >Coackroach guts EVERYWHERE on floor and foot because he was a juicy mother fucker
Anonymous
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>wasp raging around my living room >lock myself in my room, terrified >call probably a dozen different friends to come over and kill it >they just laugh at me >call apartment maintenance guys >dude comes in, smashes wasp with clipboard like it aint no thang >asks me "so you must be deathly allergic to wasps, just like me, huh?" >lie and say I'm allergic instead of admitting I'm just an enormous pussy
Anonymous
>>8984219 >>8984219 >-flooding it with a hose Lol I love doing that, watching all of the millions of ants flow away. By far the most fun thing is indeed wd-40 + fire. The ants bodies don't even dissipate, it's like they just freeze instantly, forever dead.
Oh, I also remember shoveling three large ants piles into the large creek behind my house. Lots of ants died, the hole I dug was like 4 ft deep. I sprayed the shit out of the shovel and shoes with RAID beforehand that way the ants can't get to my hands or body.
Good times.
Anonymous
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>>8984215 One win one internets
Anonymous
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>hanging out in the yard being tarded >stop for a second to ponder something >random tingly feeling on my shin >look down >ITS A FUCKING CENTIPEDE. RUN.
Anonymous
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>little kid in florida for disney vacation >walking around by the pool >giant anthill >MUST INSERT PINKY FINGER INTO HOLE >pull finger out >black with ants >freak out >jump in pool >almost drown
Anonymous
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>at work about to climb up a panel >notice ball of baby spiders >tell lift driver to HOLD THE FUCK ON >fill cup with form oil, release onto demon ball of little spiders >spend next 20 minutes of worktime watching baby spiders die NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984268 I have a tale relating to WD40 + fire.
>family 4th of july party up in chicago >behind garage with cousins, a lighter and WD-40 >we're doing stupid pyro shit >don't look infront of me >continue walking >Burn eyelid shut for weeks, lose eyebrow + eyelashes >still having a damn good time Anonymous
Quoted By:
>go to check my car insurance papers >hear a noice behind me >a 5 inches cricket it's now between me and my door >stay 1 hour out of the house because the fucker doesn't move >the fucker finally flies away, I get back to my house screaming and jumping
Anonymous
I see potential with this thread. Let it keep growing. >Thanks for your request. >It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made. >This thread has been requested 1 times now.
Anonymous
Why the fuck do ants always bit my toes right fucking here every goddam time? Nowhere else, just there over and over again.
Anonymous
>>8984306 Damn that sounds painful lol. Furthest I got with burning was a simple singe. The wd40+fire must be around 350 degrees or so, maybe more.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984326 Joining the party.
>Thanks for your request. >It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made. >This thread has been requested 2 times now. Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984339 I was one tough 12-year-old :D
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984335 The red circles attract them
Anonymous
>>8984204 Had something similar happen in 1st grade. As a class we grew monarch butterflies from chrysalis stage to fully grown and then released them one by one. They picked me to release one (only had so many) and it went something like this.
>I put my hand in the tank >Butterfly crawls onto finger >Hold butterfly in the palm of my hand while he dries his wings in the sun before his first flight. >He takes off and tries to fly to a nearby bush >Doesn't make it, turns back around >Lands on my shoulder and dries wings for a bit longer >Flies off towards the ocean, d'awwww Anonymous
>Seriously arachnophobic >High school biology class >"Turn to page 124..." >HUGE PICTURE OF A SPIDER >I scream, flip my book two desks away >Everybody's looking >Feels horrible, man
Anonymous
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>garage has cockroaches in it >go out there every night at 2am for an hour >spray rubbing alcohol onto them and watch them squirm >my entire teenage life
Anonymous
>Pick up xboxhueg spider to throw outside >Throw spider into asshole stepbrother's room >Halfway down the stairs, realise spider is on my face >Battlemode
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984379 I lol'd hard enough for dad to come up and yell at me for being loud.
Anonymous
>>8984401 Did battle mode consist of screaming like a little bitch and flailing around?
Because that would be my battle mode.
Anonymous
>>8984357 Pretty sure the absolute worst pain I has was running barefoot and stepping on a big ass thorn. My foot pulsated with this numbing pain for like 40 mins or so.
Oh and...
>Hit large bee next with baseball bat when I was like 6. >See bees emerge coming right at me. >Run like a motherfucker. >Dads ticks off a cicata when I was like 6. >It flies at me instead. >I scream my ass off and run as it's flying RIGHT AT ME. >It falls to the ground, it's wings ripped. >I lol'd! Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984410 Kevin? Is that you Kevin AKA "a1"?
Anonymous
>Find enormous hairy spider >Empty half a bottle of bug killer spray >Crush it with a shoe after it stops moving >Roll the body in a newspaper and crush that thing too >Next day, ask a friend if he wants to see the biggest hairy spider ever >Unroll newspaper to find nothing... I know that it watches me sleep every night... I know it...
Anonymous
>mowing the lawn >hits a very large patch of grass >grass patch was actually a massive ant hill full of red stinging ants >lawnmower blows ants out >wind picks up suddenly and throws the ants onto me
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984410 Naw man, I slapped myself in the face in a panicky-retard attempt to kill the bastard.
Bad fucking idea.
I had to wash my face afterwards.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984430 I was 5 and playing in mt redneck neighbor's yard and I stepped on a rusty nail that wnt THROUGh (yes, I said THROUGH) my foot. Stitches and Shots up the wazzoo.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>get out of bed to turn off alarm clock >turn back >brown recluse spider where I was breathing moments ago Only time in my life I have ever truely tortured an animal.
Anonymous
>see bird with broken wing on the ground >bring it back home >feed it and put some medicated oil and stuffs >hope it will be able to fly again >bird getting weaker >bird dies next day ;_;
Anonymous
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>At my great great (X??) grandfather's semi-abandoned home that generations of my family grew up in >Peer inside through window >Hear buzzing >Wtf is...OH FUCK YELLOW JACKETS >Wasp dive-bombs my lower lip, direct hit >Holy fuck wasp is stuck in my lip >LET GO FUCK LET GO FFFFFF GET OUT >Rip wasp out of lip, fling against wall (makes a thwack sound) >Holy fuck he's coming back for more! >RUN, FUCK RUN! >Slam car door--lip is like 3x it's normal size.
Anonymous
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>>8984444 I chuckled. That is funny.
Anonymous
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>5 AM in the morning, drowsy as fuck >Open the water, get in the shower >A GIANT-ASS COCKROACH ON MY FOOT >I SCREAM LIKE A FAGGOT AND RUN AWAY FROM THE SHOWER
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984462 I have the same story bro, only he lived, and we let him go.
He still hangs around our yard, and it friendly and we feed him occasionally.
We call him McGuyver, because we occasionally find him in the house after we leave and lock all the doors.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984462 >racing pigeon with injuries turns up in chicken coop >feed, nurse to recovery etc. >pigeon turns up in chicken coop again two years later Anonymous
>>8984436 I am not Kevin.
That is a low tier name.
Anonymous
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>>8984437 goddamn I fucking lol'd
damnfuckblox
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>8 year old science geek >Sitting by pool >Dragonfly drowning in pool >'I will rescue it!' >Take 20 minutes fishing it out of pool >Oh well its dead. I think Ill disect it. >Take little stick, cut open head >Dragonfly flies away
Anonymous
>fly is in room >call dad from basement to kill it >kills it and says i need to learn to kill bugs >i was 14 baww
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984496 Fine then. I will now call you Master Quantavious.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>go to throw away 9th banana peel of the week in garbage can on windowsill >at least a hundred flies on window, some already trying to escape >grab flyswatter >pic related
Anonymous
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>drinking with bro in his garden >find wasp >find cement LIVING STATUE
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>8 years old, bored one day outside with neighbor >Open can of pepsi, drink some + put sugar inside >Place empty can on driveway >Wait at a reasonable distance for a bee to climb inside >We spring out and smash the hell out of the can.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984456 Same here, bro. Feelsbadman.jpg
>About to fall asleep in bed >kinda feel something on chest, ignore it >realize something is on my face >turn on light after it gets off >fucking wolf spider >kill it and feel good about not freaking out when it was on me Anonymous
>>8984215 how's being twelve?..
>>8984163 I hope the can explodes you fat sappy fuck
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984505 A.. fly? Really bro? Spiders and cockroaches and centipedes are permissable.
But fuck, a fly.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>out camping >mosquitos fucking EVERYWHERE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU FAGGOT VAMPIRE COCK SUCKING FAGGOTSD DSJ0=2D9JSKJWQPOSINJC DV9IFDNJVEPOFOVNGT9FIR4NGT9U4N2FVUIE >grab one with my fingers >pull of its wings and legs >throw its torso in the campfire >repeat for hours
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984540 13 now, 14 in a few months. Fuck y'all.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984540 Dude, you don't need to be 12 to enjoy a good bit of aerosol warfare with bugs.
It's better than paintball.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>At my friends house the day after sleeping over. >Forced to do yard work. >Get asked to cut the rose bushes. >There's a giant wasp nest on a shed right next to it. >Go cut it anyway. >Get a bit too far into the bush. >Wasps go crazy, sting my hand. >Don't have to work the rest of the day. >Fuck yeah. That was the first time I'd been stung in a long time too.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
Try canned keyboard duster and a roach on one of them sticky trap-pads. Fun as hell.
Anonymous
>>8984540 The fuck is your problem you fat neckbeard faggot?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>What a beautiful day >Leave windows open >Forget to close them all day >Go to bed >Feel wriggling under back >Wake up >Nothing >Go back to bed >More wriggling >Cockroaches everywhere
Anonymous
>gopher burrows its way under my mothers garden >dad manages to corner it one day, but is too scared to touch it >I put on thick work gloves grab the little bastard by the skin of his neck >wave it in my dads face >he shrieks in terror >throw gopher as hard as I can in the direction of the field >he is fine Pic related, its the gopher and his child, pic taken last summer
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984587 Period-week for him.
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
>>8984456 Damn, might be a shot or too of some medication to prevent that one virus that locks up your lower jaw. Forgot the name.
>Up north in my old house. >Beetles fucking everywhere. >Pour bleach everywhere. >feelsbadman.jpg. >Rip up moss >Watch earthworms squirm to the next patch of cover. >Rinse and repeat. Anonymous
>>8984603 Tetanus shots. Youre supposed to get them every ten years.
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
Quoted By:
>>8984618 Ah yes, that. Thanks.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984603 Tetanus shots stops lockjaw.
Anonymous
>>8984596 D'awwwww. It's adorable. Why would you even think about hurting that?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984627 You should get something to prevent your cockjaw.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984636 Because he's an asshat.
Anonymous
>I are titi >Then i do this >Bugs >OH NO >Get raped >Laugh about it later >Kill future husband
Anonymous
>cat gets neutered >goes insane >adopts stuffed animals as children >waits for dog to go asleep before vomitting on her >falls asleep in the middle of eating >climbs up people like trees and meows loudly in their ears I love my cat
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984652 I'm normally adept at deciphering fucktard, but WHAT?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>4 years old >dark outside >decide to go play in the back yard >sit down in a soft mound >FIRE ANT PILE >run inside screaming as my legs start to seize from the pain >mom freaks the hell out and puts me in the kitchen sink, spraying me off >felt bad man
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Thanks for your request. It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made. This thread has been requested 4 times now. archiveblox
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>See bumble bee >Impale bumble bee
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8984666 Does your cat have Aspergers Syndrome, by chance?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Was dared to eat a cricket in middle school >Pack of applesauce on the table, presumably for me to dip it in before I eat it >Drenched that fucker in applesauce and ate it >It was surprisingly delicious >Still would not eat it again if given the choice
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>spider infestation >downstairs bathroom is especially full of spiders >trying to get in, use the toilet/sink, and get out all without touching the floor
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>find mole in window well >decide to leave him alone >next day he is still there >take him inside and feed him cheerios >name him Mole-Rooney >he escapes one random night >never see him again I have a lot of random animal stories, because I lived far out in the country for years and had almost no connection to the outside world.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984689 No. She just went insane for some reason. She can act like a jerk sometimes, but I really love my cat.
She sits on my lap when I play video games, follows me around outside, and every now and then I take her outside and climb a tree with her.
Since she spends time with me doing stuff she doesnt like, I do the same with her.
Hunting mice in the fields is her favorite.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Happened today.>Get flyers/mail out of mailbox >Small sized junk mail at the bottom >gotta stick in hand to dig it out >Hear a LOUD ASS BUZZING SOUND >Look inside to see what's in there >Pitch black, can't see a thing >Bee/Wasp flys up into my face, bounces off and flies away.. >Scream like a wee girl and run into the house FUCKING INSECTS
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
>>8984666 Aww the pic is cute. Look at her face, looks so smug...lol
Anonymous
>cat comes inside after hours of play >cat has a hitch-hiker on her >turns out to be a praying mantis >keep him in my room >he solves my fly problem within days and gets really fat >keep him around as long as possible Pic related. Its me and my mantis buddy.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>See a smaller version of "clock spider" in the bathroom >Gently remove it with a container and cardboard >Release it into my garden >Continue living in Australia.
Anonymous
>>8984667 >Now this is a story all about how >My life got flipped turned upside down >And i'd like to take a minute just sit right there >I'll tell you how i came in an anthill over there >In northern georgia born and raised >In the field was where i spent most of my days >Stressin out, pickin flax, jackin in wool >And shooting some squirrels near the back of my school >When i realised my dick was hurtin real bad >Saw an anthill >Stuck my dick in it >Got tired of writing fresh prince thingy >Drugs >Phlegm Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984596 QUICK I need gopherchucks!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Moth infestation >Fucking moths would barge in out of nowhere and fly right across my face >Swatted them >Moths flied lower and slower, as if they were taunting me >Stamped those little shits into oblivion every time >5 more would be found for every one I kill >FUCKING SHIT
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
>>8984830 D'aww, You had it going good.
Anonymous
>>8984793 Ya, she can be cute when she wants to be, but dont let that fool you.
She does it so she can get away with being a gigantic asshole.
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
Quoted By:
>>8984852 D'AWWW SO CUTE ERWIFHNEOWF
I should get a cat again someday lol.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>2 years old >Fuck yeah baby pool >See bee >Somehow grab bee while in midflight >Bee stings me >Fall over in baby pool screaming >Almost drown Jesus I was a stupid kid.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984850 loldongs
Im gonna write the rest, then spam the fuck out of it on /b/ and /k/
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>keep the window open >surfing the net (1999) and smoking a lot >Finally go to bed >Look at the ceiling and see a 6 inches centipede 3 feet above my face >Get out my room and went running downstairs to get my dad's help >For the fist time in my life I see him scared as shit. >We covered it in about12 papers and crunched the bastard >We put the papers on fire in the backyard.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984795 whoa, fucken rad
Some insects are cool, like butterflies
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984666 >>8984852 Here she is acting cute, and baiting the dog to come say hello, only to beat her mercilessly.
In the hierarchy of order at my house, there is no one higher than the cat. She is a God Master of mind tricks.
Often she will pretend to be injured to get special treatment, pretend to be asleep so she can sneak attack you as soon as you turn your back, pretend to be friendly so she can bite you and so forth.
Anonymous
>>8984795 Why dont i ever get paid in gu-Praying Manits'...
A Benevolent Nationalist !YyPan9VsVc
Quoted By:
>>8984795 Praying Mantis = GOD tier insect.
Very lucky.
Anonymous
>>8984912 Mantis buddy was one of the best buds I ever had.
He must have slain at least 80 flies in his lifetime, and around 10 big spiders as well.
It was really sad to wake up around fall and find him dead on my floor.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>chlling on the couch, playing some racin' vidya >dog jumps up beside me >headbutts me in the face >huge throbbing lump on my forehead >lost the race >cursing and swearing like a motherfuck >dog is looking as happily derpy as usual
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8984932 GTFO this epic thread.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984940 Oh, I almost forgot to mention his crowning achievement
My Mantis killed a motherfucking mouse. It was a fairly big one too. Considering Mantis was about 3 or 4 inches long, and had almost no weight to him, and the mouse was about 3 inches long and probably tripled his weight, it is impressive shit.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8985008 Don't worry; he got better.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8985008 Yes, unfortunately.
He lived with me for 3 months, each day proving himself a stronger warrior.
About once every 2 weeks, some big ass spider would find its way into his territory, and he would kick its ass, then eat him. He also killed some small dragonflies and stuff.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
On and interesting side-note. This thread is one request short of archival.
>age 8, sitting around at home >decide to go exploring around my kitchen for some reason >look under counter >HOLY SHIT THE MOST GIANT COCKROACH EVER IS STARING ME IN THE FACE >scream, run to bathroom to get RAID >trip on step, bash head on sink >overnight stay in hospital, 12 stitches in forehead I still have the scar today. Since then I have completely overstocked on anti-roach equipment.
Anonymous
>>8985058 All for one roach?
That bites.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>On a backpacking trip >Go out to take a piss in the middle of the night >Come back, in my sleepy haze don't close the tent flap all the way. >Wake up >Literally about 10 spiders had made it into the tent >One was IN MY SLEEPING BAG >Unzipping the tent flap to make my dashing escape took about 5 seconds but it felt like 5 hours. >It was the most terrifying 5 seconds of my life.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Happened less than an hour ago>>Fishing in inlet >>Not paying attention to feet, standing in oyster bed >>Step forward >>Three foot long stingray swims less than a foot from ankles >>Laugh
Quoted By:
>>8985069 I have a phobia of roaches too now thanks to that one bastard. He got away, too.
Fo sho !GX1hDQ7s9c
Quoted By:
>walking down road with friend >friend sees water bug >friends picks up water bug >friend throws bug at me >freak out and run
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Hiking in the tetons with the bros >"Everybody stop right the fuck now?" >Dudwhat? >Right at that moment see what everyone was shitting themselves over. >A MOTHERFUCKING BEAR CUB >For all you outdoors savvy anons, you know that encountering a bear cub is the worst thing that can happen because, It means the mother is near. And mother bears are like soccer moms X amillion, if they think their cub is in danger they will mall you with the force of a thousand thundercunts. >Anyway we figured the mom was further up the trail, so we just backed away slowly back to our vacated camp sight, shat a couple brix and started back up again.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>gone on a camping trip >sees spider, steps on it >see more spiders spring up out of nowhere gunning for my ass >kill one spider, at least two more take their place >finally freak out and run down hill >have arachnophobia for years I'm cool with spiders now. I don't know when it happened or why, but they tend not to bother me.
Anonymous
A couple weeks ago I noticed a tiny spider on the wall next to my gaming chair. Now, I fear spiders like many, but this spider was different. He was facing my TV; he was obviously watching me play the vidya. I named him "Spider Bro" and gave him a thumbs up every now and then. He vanished last week, though. I miss him.
Anonymous
>>8985466 He's in your cloths. Or in your digestive system... You know, you swallow about two spiders a year in your sleep.
Anonymous
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>>8985505 Now we have truly become One.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>come out of the shower and into my room >who the fuck moved my deodorant >look through piles of shirts, jeans, towels and other random shit > went to look on the floor by a shelf and in one of the corners of the shelf and the wall i saw this huge spider (pic related) >screamed, shit myself and ran out >came back an hour later with two pairs of socks, two pairs of jeans, some boots, a broom and my younger brother >moved the shelf and had a duel, my bro killed it >thought about it decided there could be more, FUCKING EVERYWHERE >cleaned the shit out of my room, found about 5 although the one in the shelf was the biggest tl;dr what my whole weekend consisted of, cant summarize
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8985505 He barely moved over the course of time... I think he died, fell to the ground, and is hidden in my carpeting.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>3rd grade >For whatever reason picked up an interest in beekeeping. >Went to the library and got a bunch of books about bee keeping >Didn't open them >Got my best friend over to help me set up my beekeeping business >The plan was to have copious amounts of dankass honey by the end of the week. >We ended up just catching as many bees as we could in paper cups >Then putting the cups face down on the ground, trapping them in there. >After an hour of collecting bees and wasps and whatever we could catch, one single gust wind knocked down every single cupcage thing. >SWEET TITFUCKING JESUS! RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS! >A mini swarm of pissed as shit bees and wasps came down on us. >I got stung like 10 times or someshit >(jk, prolly only like 4 or 5 times)
Anonymous
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>>8985505 Yeah, also duck's "cuac" doesn't makes echo and no one knows why
Anonymous
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>taking a bath >steps out of the tub >centipede drops down right where my head would have been if I remained in tub a minute longer >centipedes are now my eternal enemies
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>masturbating to pornography in bed >gigantic fucking flying cockroach lands on the tallest structure on my bed >tallest structure was my dick >look at it for a long heartbeat before smacking it and screaming like a girl >couldn't get it up again that night >feel really gross
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>go walking around in some random field as a kid >go near a birds nest or sumthing >birds starts to circle around me looking pissed off making screeching noise >scares the crap out of me >run as fast as i can while screaming for my life >fun times
Anonymous
>see banana spider >decide to knock it out of its web >it lands on its back >plays dead >runs at me, then runs into a nearby garden >few weeks later see it back in its web >go near it >it falls out intentionally >runs towards me, but pussies out >realize this thing is devising a plan to try and mate with me >then realize that a banana spider is thinking about me >massive slut
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8985673 i wonder if it lurks here
i say this cause there are a lot of ho's 'round here
Anonymous
>very drunk >very high >fall asleep in friend's bed >he comes in with a blanket for me >"make sure there aren't any spiders in there." >"lol there are no spiders." >feel something crawling on leg >FUCK SPIDER FUCK
Anonymous
Quoted By:
ahh, outside is fun~
Anonymous
>read this thread >smoke a bowl >go to take the trash out >steps on a centipede (ive seen a few in my house before >Screams like a girl >runs into wall >The "centipede" was a shoelace
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8985772 When I was a little kid our house was half under construction. And for whatever reason construction attracts assloads of spiders, I know not why.
But I got into the habit of shaking my blankets every night before going to bed, just in case. I still do it today.
Anonymous
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>>8985799 shit man i was scared for you
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>be a small kid playing near a tree >dad cuts down tree >angry wasps fly out >run away screaming and crying >get stung on leg seven times
St.Alessa
>Pick mullberries outof tree as always >Gleefully munch them >One day look at a berry closely >Covered in little yellow bugs >Never eat them again And>Sleeping happily >Feel tickle in ear >Wake up,brush at ear >Fuck huge spider crawls out of my ear >Now terrified of bugs getting into my ears/nose
Anonymous
>>8985827 Brofist for having a mulberry tree.
I had one of those in my backyard growing up, my feet were always purple in the summer.
Also mulberry smoothies=the shit
Anonymous
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>lie in bed >look up a ceiling >spider is crawling around up there >"that spider is going to fall off and land on my face." >spider falls off and lands on face
Anonymous
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>at a program >bedroom is next to bathroom >take shower >All of a sudden BIGGEST EARWIG EVER LOOKING UP AND DOWN MY NAKED BODY >shut water off immediately >roommate comments on quick shower through wall >ask for help in response >realize I don't have a body towel >entire hallway enters bathroom with me trying to cover up with tiny towel
Anonymous
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>go with some little kid friends to old abandoned playground >step in wasps nest >step on/hit 3 more nests while running in pure terror > Look/feel like a big red blob >remember why playground is abandoned.
Anonymous
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>turn off lights to play vidya on my computer >see huge black spot on the carpet >what is that I didn't leave like a sock on the floor here did I? >get face really close to the floor trying to figure out what it is >turn on the lights >fucking huge cockroach like I've never seen before >doesn't move, so I go grab a bowl to capture it >just begin to flip bowl onto it >it takes off, misses the bowl, and runs into a tiny hole in my wall >cover the hole with duct tape
Anonymous
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>>outside my house, find a black window with an egg sack >>take egg sack and kill the spider >>put egg sack in a waterbottle i had >>kept waterbottle in my room >>eggs starts to hatch >>A billion spiders come out >> inside bottle some like like AWESOME >>open the cap to blow some fresh air in (iono why) >>got paranoid spiders would eat through the plastic some how >>lighter fluid the whole bottle, and lit it up >>fast forward a month or so, chilling at my desk, my feet brushes something web-like >> look down see black window running to the back of my desk >> OH SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT, nearly got bitten >>get vacuum and clear out that bottom space hoping i got the spider >>didnt' sleep in my room for the next few weeks.....
Anonymous
>finish working out >hear a noise in the corner of the room >massive fucking huntsman >baygon out of fucking nowhere >spray that nigger >thing is still alive because its so big >operation dumbbell drop >get the fucker >come back later to clean it >its gone I'm still waiting for his attempt at ending my life.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>take glasses off >take shower >start shampooing hair >notice something black on floor >assume it's my hair >think about the shower scene in Arachnophobia >take closer look just to be safe >it's a spider >run out of bathroom and into the other one >finish shower
St.Alessa
Quoted By:
>>8985856 I return your brofist.Never made a smoothie,but will return to the old house and gather some up if I can.
Anonymous
i've told this one before>wake up at 3 in the morning >WAT THE FUCK IS CRAWLING ON MY GODDAMN FACE >swat it off face, slap self in progress >look for it on floor >big fucking spider sonofabitch >see it, but it crawls into a huge pile of clothes when i move >decide not to bother, go into tv room to watch season 1 of unit >found and killed the fucker in the morning
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984437 why you don't meet
>>8986004 ???
Maybe it was the same spider!!
Anonymous
>>8986083 and i have another one
>sittin on the computer just mindin my own business >randomly look on floor >JESUS CHRIST BIGASS SPIDER >instinctively jump on computer chair >armed giant wad of tissues (i fucking hate killing them like that but that's all i had) >i attack, but it dodges all of my tissue-thrusts >fall off the fucking chair as it crawls under my bass amp >get on chair and lift up bass amp >another battle ensues, i fall again and this time it hides under a mass of computer cables >the fucker's laughing at me, i can't hear it but it's fucking laughing at me >throw phone into cables, scares spider out as i slam my tissue-club into the ground as hard as i fucking can >flush the fucker down the toilet >VICTORY IS MINE Anonymous
Quoted By:
>sitting on floor with blanket around my legs >playin super smash bros >feel somthing moving adjacent to balls >throw off blanket >HOLY FUCKING SHIT ITS A CENTIPEDE
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8986255 >playing tf2 with lights out >something skuttles along in front of my monitor >turn on lights >goddamn big cockroach >kill the fucker NEXT DAY
>playing tf2 with lights out >something skuttles along in front of my monitor >turn on lights >goddamn big spider >probably was looking for the cockroach >kill that fucker too Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>wikipedia "Huntsmen" >click spider link >view map in my image (also on wiki) >see majority of Illinois highlighted >PARANOID AS FUCK
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8986385 don't believe that map. Huntsmen only live in Australia.
Anonymous
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>Texas summer >laying in bed with wife >using a sheet but no blanket >too hot for sheet. throw off sheet. open windows. >crawl into bed >wake up because chest is itching >scratch chest. >lumpy? >realize my whole body is covered in a crawling tickling sensation. >cautiously turn on bedside lamp >COVERED IN LADYBUGS FROM HEAD TO TOE >freak out, run to the shower and rinse them off >they're in my hair I can't stand ladybugs anymore.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8984367 Beautiful
Yoyoyoyoyoyoyooyoyoblock
Anonymous
>sleep on matress some years >throw it out >slice it open for fun >bugs everywhere in there
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Anonymous
>Come home from work >10,000 ladybugs on my windows and ceiling >vacuum those fuckers to hell >wait one hour >10,000 more of them everywhere
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8986495 Ladybug swarm team: Respawn in 10......9..........8............7..................6..........
Anonymous
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>hot summer night >open window >hear a mosquito >look for it and kill it >find another one and kill it >stay up all night >kill 72 mosqitos >feel proud
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>vacationing with dad in Wisconsin 4 years ago >rent a camper for a few nights >leave windows open to air the damn thing out >swarm of moths >swarm of mosquitos >A FUCKING BAT >maintain bugs >find bat, leave for hotel
Anonymous
>>8986495 I remember in 2nd grade all of the bathrooms got infested with lady bugs. For some reason they didnt try to fumigate it, so kids would run in and try to see who could get coated with as many of them as possible.
Mr Paradox !5s3NiggERs
those 72 mosquitos now get 72 virgins each.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8986576 Same thing happened at my school in 4th grade except it was ants in the hallways. Not just a line, a whole damn army.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8986585 5,776 virgin mosquitoes!
>Op/fag needs to stop posting
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8986634 Op/fag has nothing better to do besides eat and listen to Rush. The prime is not good for me to do, as nothing 'round here is healthy. The beta is already being done. Whomever this 'anonymous' character is, they need to quit posting aswell.
Anonymous
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>Butterfly lands on my finger >I ask it what it wants >Butterfly tells me "bring back 80s speed metal" >Flies away >Metal horns I feel like I was visited by an angel that day.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>10 years old >Boat trip to Canada yeah! >Rent house boat from [unbeknownst to us] notoriously cheap salesman >Sailin', it's all good >At night flip out beds >Smushed cockroaches between all the cushions >Shake out cushions, find ticks embedded in the coverings >No, not doing that, decided to sleep on roof of house boat >Wake up in the morning >Mosquito bites every where on face >During the day open windows to let air in >Huge ass horseflies biting everyone all the time >Repeat for 8 more days Holy shit that was a bad vacation.
Anonymous
>>8986634 Leave OP/fag alone. I like him.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8986596 >>8986613 This is why I fucking hate kids using computers. I really fucking hate it
Mr Paradox !5s3NiggERs
>watched indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull. >mocked the ant scene and said ants aren't that fast at moving and efficiant at killing people (they're still the best in the known universe, but not as good as the film says) >get home and my 14 year old sick golden retriever had been digging up a potplant >potplant had HUGE FUCKING FIRE ANTS NEST IN IT >dog died.
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
>>8986683 ;_; you're the only person to say that....
Anonymous
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>>8986688 Im sorry, bro. That's some cruel irony.
Anonymous
>>8986699 Dont give up, Op/fag! You have some fans.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8986733 more 12 yo kids?
bloxkidblox
Op/fag !/W8xKYMaVQ
Quoted By:
>>8986733 I shall rule this board with a robotic fist, some day...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>sister gets tarantula >see her getting fed with crickets? >be more afraid of the crickets than the spider
Anonymous
>on break at work >set down dr pepper can >five minutes later take drink >feel something squirming in mouth >spit out soda >WTF BEES The next day>set can down >talking to coworker >grab can to take drink >wasp crawls out >HOLY FUCK Never had soda at work again.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>Go to work >I am an pest control technician >Go into basement of apartment building >"Huh, these walls are painted black. waste of paint if you ask me." >Spray wall with roach poison. >Black paint is actually thousands of roaches. >I kill them all.
Anonymous
>>8987072 what color were the walls underneath the roaches?
akako
Quoted By:
>3 AM, about to go to bed >Live in basement, go to basement bathroom to piss >Doing my business >Notice brown recluse six inches away on wall that's been there the whole time >Bolt upstairs while yanking pants up >Fall asleep on couch after an hour, avoid bathroom for a week
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8987097 Light blue, almost white. Also, my face when killing them - :>
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>visit dad's house >"oh hey anon, don't go in your room, there's a hole in the wall where some bees made a nest. they're all over the place, we gotta get an exterminator out here soon" >go check it out >ROOM IS SWARMING WITH PISSED OFF BEES >slam door shut >never sleep in there again
Anonymous
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>be like 10 years old >grandma makes me wear yellow during camping trip, even though I hate yellow >fucking around while adults talk >Oh hey a bee >another bee >10 bees later, won't leave me alone but not stinging me >I AM THE BEE MASTER
Anonymous
>>8986561 wisconsin can be bad at night, not legendary. but sometimes pretty bad.
>sleep on couch of dead mothers house >try to sleep, but see something in the shadows on the ceiling. >turn on lights >OH FUCK SPIDERS FUCKING EVERYWHERE >killing spree >killed over 35 spiders all around the house that night >go back home to sleep Anonymous
Quoted By:
>absolute shit eyesight without glasses >get up to piss >pissin >look up for some odd reason >huh the ceiling looks wierd >finish pissing, put on glasses >entire ceiling is spider babies >welcome to wisconsin nigger
Anonymous
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>Used to play WoW >Killed a spider on the wall next to computer >Leave it there as a warning to other spiders >Another spider gets killed next to it >So begins the trophy wall I didn't clean that wall for months.
Anonymous
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>Put foot in leather shoe. >Stepped on Snail. >Well, fuck.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>being pestered by a fruit fly >grab at it for some reason >snatch it out of midair >HOLY SHIT >do the same thing with a housefly later >begin doing this reflexively to any fly i see >that summer, walking around outside >something is flying near me >grab it >ow fuck >BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8987538 Spiders, centipedes, ladybugs, and mosquitoes are the motherfuckers in Wisconsin.
Anonymous
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>lying in the grass with new puppy >half asleep >feel warmth; assume puppy is lying on my legs >smell urine >the puppy has pissed on me >FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING DOG I'LL KILL YOU >neighbours never talk to me again
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
Quoted By:
>Summer finally hits >Turn on air conditioner for the first time of the year >Apparently, this disturbed some spider eggs enough to hatch >BABY SPIDERS, FUCKING EVERYWHERE >ON THE FURNITURE, IN YOUR HAIR >FUCK FUCK FUCK
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Takin' a shit >Finish >About to pull up boxers >See hairy, monster spider sitting in the middle of my boxers >Shit bricks >Shoo spider away >Never shit with boxers that low again Fucker nearly gave me a heart attack.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Ants in my kitchen. >They find a tiny gap in the door seal of my freezer >A constant stream of ants marches to their doom >Eventually they all disappear >Except for several cups of frozen ants in a pile on the bottom of my freezer.
Anonymous
>Drop earring under the inset on the counter. >Lay on ground to try and reach it >Stand up and go to put earring in >Look in mirror >See giant 2" spider on my left breast >Scream bloody murder >Smack spider, rip off shirt and continue screaming >Mom runs upstairs and assumes I got stabbed etc.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>on 4chan and msn >wasp on keyboard >keeps coming back >state how i'm freaking out on msn >wasp is just beside me >wait for it to go away >keeps coming back DOOMED
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8987854 Oh also, this one still pisses me off:
>Walking through forest with friends >Everyone walks ahead of me through a clearing that opens between two gigantic trees >Not paying attention, walk between trees >Suddenly feel sharp sensation on top of hand >Gigantic spider just bit me >Smash it, scream a little >Hand swells up to three times it size, get giant wound. >Have no idea what kind of fucking spider bit you Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Be around 16 (7 years ago) >Spider in room with huge net >It catches wasps, moths, fly's and shit >Make spider my new roommate
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>put on jeans previously left in the "2 little holes on floor" position >feel something tickly behind my knee >fling pants down not too wildly thinking "eh prolly just a roach" >was a FUCKING SCORPION >freak out, feel things crawling on me for rest of day
THATCAPSLOCKANON
>WALKING AROUND PARK IN THE EVENING >LEGS FEEL ITCHY >CLOUDS OF MOSQUITOES >STOP AND START TO SLAP AT LEGS >MOAR MOSQUITOES COME >LEGIONS >SCREW THIS >RUN BACK HOME >LEGS ARE COVERED IN MOSQUITO PASTE
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Drivan' >Ant walks across dashboard >Doesn't hurt me, I don't hurt him >Give him a french fry >He eats it, climbs on my finger >Ant is a bro, I name him Antbro >Lives in my car for a day >Sister accidentally smashes him >manly tears
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8987981 >MOSQUITO PASTE I chuckled.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>make mistake of watching Arachnophobia before taking shower >washing hair, eyes closed, feel tickle on calf >immediately know its a huge spider >kick leg in panic >turns out to be shampoo running down my leg >broken toe
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>sitting half submerged on pool steep with no shirt on at three in the morning because i have a terrible sunburn and can't sleep. >feel something crawl up back and instinctively smack it off >spider the size of my palm flies off into the water >bitch i ain't no cruise line seriously though that sunburn was shit
Anonymous
>sitting at computer in my basement, 2 years ago >see spider on the wall about 4 feet away from me, to my left >OH SHI- >pick up pencil, throw it end over end >eraser smashes that bitch into the wall >its guts are still there to this day as a reminder of my epic kill
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Reading this thread... With an itchy buthole
Azumango !Jhu/jWLISQ
Quoted By:
Fuck you guys, now Im itchy
Anonymous
>get out of shower >grab towel, start drying off >man, my dick hurts for some reason >lift towel >angry wasp had been chilling on the towel >he stung me on my dick >flip the fuck out, lock wasp in bathroom >run around apartment naked, screaming >after 30 minutes to build courage, get dressed in wasp killing gear >three hoodies, winter gloves, pants tucked into steel-toed boots >shoe in one hand, can of raid in the other >this fucker's going down >run into bathroom, eyes closed, screaming like a banshee >blindly swat shoe and spray raid everywhere >give up after nearly choking to death on raid >assume wasp just snuck out somewhere
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>go to the park with some friends >watch bees on the little flowers in the grass >cacht them by putting a plastic bag over them >put theminside empty plastic bottle >start kicking those bottles soccer time!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8988338 >am now paranoid the wasp is hiding in my bathroom >scope out bathroom every time I use it, and bring a shoe with me just in case >eventually I kind of forget but leave the shoe in there in case I get a spider or something in the shower >two weeks later >taking a shit >look down at the shoe I left in there >WING >what the fuck is th- >WING >HOLY SHIT IT'S THE DICK WASP >HE WAS LIVING IN THE SHOE >repeat running around screaming incident >but this time I have to wipe my ass in the kitchen first >don my wasp killing gear again >empty entire can of raid of that son of a bitch >rejoice in glorious victory over the dick wasp Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>walking down street with friend >annoying, large bee keeps following us, flying around, buzzing and shit >for a block and a half >friend gets pissed off, hooks right >bee makes a sputtered-out buzzing noise, spirals to the ground, gets hit by an oncoming car >pic is my reaction
Anonymous
>>8983808 GET READY
CAUSE I GOT 2 STORIES.
>> Eatin' healthy, fuck yea >> Open salad bag >> Salad bag is air lock sealed, non local >> There is a frog in it >> The frog is just sitting there being a boss >> I put it out infront of my house >> It hops away >> Throw away salad bag. and #2
>> Swimming in a river >> Reach out to grab onto black mossy rocks >> The moss runs away, parts jump into the water >> The moss was not moss >> It was hundreds of fucking skinny legged black spiders stacked ontop of each other >> What the fuck nature. >>Why would you do that. >> Spiders are not jenga pieces, they cant even make towers. Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Playing WoW >Main tank suddenly stops moving >Raid wipes >whatthefuckman.jpg >Tank comes back 30 minutes later >He had a raccoon fall out of his ceiling into his room >Raccoon is scratching at his closet door after being trapped >Best dura hit ever
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>sitting on our summer house with my cousin >a was appears >it squirts something brown on my cousins shirt >wat moment >cousin insists it didn't hit him >i can clearly see a brown spot on his shirt
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8988167 I did something similar
Backstory: Over the summer the door was left open
MILLIONS OF FLIES APPEAR
>> My dog has been freaking out and trying to eat them >> They're annoying as fuck >> Getting on food and being assholes of nature >> Grab newsweek and an airsoft pistol >> My dog hides in his kennel as she shes me prepare >> POW, his with newsweak, dog is cheering me on, she hates flies >> kill a bunch, one escapes >> Stalk it, he flies and lans on a wall across the room >> Airsoft pistol whipped out of my pocket, no scope longshot >> ZIIIIIIIIING. >> He explodes. Pic related, it was my face
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8983808 this actually happened to one of my childhood friends on his birthday. We had a fence between our backyards and he hopped over to let me know his birthday party was about to start. When he hopped back to his side, he slipped and landed into a huge antpile and had to spend his whole birthday party itchy and covered with calamine lotion
Anonymous
>>8988508 Oh that reminds me
>13 years old or so >on beach at Lake Michigan, walking along the shoreline >sea moss or some shit has been washed up along the shoreline for as far as i can see >after a while of walking, crouch down and inspect it >it's not sea moss or some shit >it's like hundreds of billions of tiny beach beetles >more or less backflip into the water Anonymous
>>8988630 >13 years old or so >on beach at Lake Michigan, walking along the shoreline >sea moss or some shit has been washed up along the shoreline for as far as i can see >after a while of walking, crouch down and inspect it >it's not sea moss or some shit >it's like hundreds of billions of tiny beach beetles >more or less backflip into the water >backflip into the water >moss washed up on shore from the water >backflipped INTO WHERE THE BEETLES FUCKING CAME FROM What the FUCK is wrong with you?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8988630 WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!
Anonymous
>>8988649 I only backflipped into the water in spirit. In real life I kept it cool. Like a boss.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8988630 I'm laughing so hard just imagining your panic beetle backflip
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>8988692 THERE ARE BILLIONS OF BEETLES FUCKING EVERYWHERE
What does the average Arcanine do?
1: Stay chill
2: Freak the fuck out
Everyone would freak out, you would ned to have balls of titanium to not shit bricks
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Running around in backyard as kid >Big greenhouse area attached to side of house with a big door space but no door >Run around corner into greenhouse blind >Something on my face >HOLY SHIT >Golden Orb spider had web the size of the door space and the spider was the size of my face >Sweep that fucker to the ground >NEVAR NEVAR AGAIN
Anonymous
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> Studying for biology exam back in high school. > Look up to see giant spider crawling across wall. > Lose my shit, try to smash it with text book. > It dodges and jumps down. > Lands on the shag carpet I had in my room at my parents house. > Fucker DIGS into the carpet and hides. > Smash at floor with book for a minute in general area. > Go back to studying. > Spider runs across up the wall from carpet. > Sleep on couch for the night.
Anonymous
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>Pet tarantula somehow climbs on neck >ahhhhhhhhhhhhh >mom comes in room and lifts it off carefully. (If you drop a tarantula it shatters like an egg.) >brag about it in school and everyone thinks I'm the wierd little girl obsessed with bugs and creepy crawlies >play in yard as a kid >giant dragonfly bigger than hand lands on nearby leaf >for some reason try to pick it up >bitten on the hand >oww >what the fuck
Anonymous
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>Go fishing with my dad >Notice a grasshopper sitting at the edge of the grass >Hear a buzzing noise >Giant fucking hornet comes, picks up the grasshopper, and simply flies away.
Anonymous
> FUCK YEAH time to go home and make some food > reach towards door > gigantic spider crawls from behind the doorknob > wait outside for an hour and a half till someone comes home Variation of this story:> need to go pee > spider on the toilet seat > I can wait
Anonymous
>At the beach >Napping on a blanket, under an umbrella >feel assorted poking and prodding, but don't wake up >feel a sharp pinch on my big toe >wake up >I'M COVERED IN GODDAMN FUCKING CRABS
Anonymous
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>>8989315 >Sitting on the toilet taking a dump. >Count the number of squares in the tile floor because that's the kind of shit I do when I take a dump. >Is one of the tiles moviHOLY SHIT THAT SPIDER IS RUNNING RIGHT TOWARD MY DROPPED PANTS >Instantly visualize it getting inside my pants >Freak the fuck out Anonymous
>>8989345 A crab pinched your toe when you weren't even bothering it?
Crabs confirmed for bitchiest animals in the ocean.
Anonymous
>camping >feel tickle in ear while sleeping >dig at with finger >inspect finger >MANGLED REMAINS OF EAR CANAL SIZED SPIDER >whywouldyoudothat.jpg
Anonymous
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This was irritating to green text.. so I worked at a theater, and this was the weekend of prom. I wheeled out some trashcans to that housing companies put around their dumpsters, when I hear buzzing. I open the door. Wasps. Hundreds of them. Some douchebags threw bags of ALL their booze and cups and food and shit from their party away. They must have just tossed it over the dumpster wall, because the bags were torn open and there was alcohol and garbage and FUCKING WASPS everywhere. Being a pussy, I ran back into the theater and let managers and co. take care of it with some raid.
Anonymous
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>>8989360 Considering I was covered in them and probably slightly shifting in my nap, I probably kicked it.
Anonymous
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>Back during TBC and I'm raiding Karazhan >Kinda late so the lights are off >Raids going good so far...I predict a full clear >Why's the side of my screen getting kinda dark-HOLY SHIT COCKROACH! ABANDON RAID!!! >Run to room and go to bed
Anonymous
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>>8989364 UGH OH GOD
I ALMOST BARFED
FOR SERIOUS
Anonymous
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>Go outside on the porch >Its dark >Reach for the light switch underneath a railing >Massive fat spider is chillin on the light switch >Press the spider down, crawls in m finder and up my arm >Scream running into the night waving my arms for a minute straight
Anonymous
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My stepdad's story, but totally cringeworthy> Awesome sunny day > Out fishing and drinking like a boss > Thick clouds start rolling in out of nowhere > Heavy rain all of a sudden, hear thunder > Take shortcut to a closer dock > Have to go under a really low, long, pitch black bridge > Feel tingly > realize you are covered in hundreds of spiders
Anonymous
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> little kid taking a bath > enjoying bathtime > wait, wtf is that? > THAT IS A CENTIPEDE IN THE BATHWATER > GET THE FUCK OUT
Anonymous
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>live in Australia >couldn't give a shit about spiders >have a giant huntsman who live in my room >about the size of my hand >call him Jim >I love him >walk home from uni one day >over hanging gum trees >one branch hanging particularly low >just about to push it out of my way >HOLY FUCK GIANT AS FUCK FUCKING STICK INSECT >25cm long at least >barely an inch from my face >jumped/flail backwards and yell >run the fuck home and have crawly feelings for the rest of the day >continue living in Queensland
Anonymous
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my grandpas story>have a berry tree >the berries look delicious >pick up a berry and eat it without looking >OH GOD THERE IS A BEE IN MY MOUTH
Anonymous
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not my story but my Dad's>Dad is 22 >Motorbiking around like a bad-ass >Takes off helmet at gas station >Leaves on bike >Comes back out puts on helmet >Flips visor down >GIANT AS FUCK SPIDER ON THE INSIDE OF THE VISOR
Anonymous
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I love my dog.>Go outside for smoke >Dog is chewing bone >Wasps hovering around bone >Dog eats them, goes back to chewing bone I'll never understand how he figured out how to eat them without being stung. From the looks of it, he would chew them as quickly as he could. Glorious bastard.
Anonymous
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>scared of wolf spiders my entire young life >in the basement on the puter late one night in high school >hear rustling behind me >turn around and see a huge fucking wolf spider >two feet away on the arm of the couch >babies all over its back >KILL IT WITH 30 HIT COMBO >babies everywhere
Anonymous
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>have fly problem at work >workplace uses a huge amount of rubber bands >stand patiently in the middle of receiving area, rubber band at the ready >one of the flies lands somewhere >snoiping's a good job, mate
Anonymous
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Discover nest of spiders. Liberally apply flames all over. Peace of mind.
Anonymous
>unguarded donut on the table >lift up donut to eat >GIANT AS FUCK COCKROACH UNDERNEATH THE PLATE >you are 10, freak the FUCK OUT >realize cockroach is fake >realize donut is fake >realize your aunt and uncle are snickering behind you with their coolface on fuck both of you. traumatizing a kid.
Anonymous
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>>8989731 That happened to me when I was younger, too.
Only the cockroach was real. The donut and my aunt and uncle were fake, though. Plastic. Don't know why I didn't notice sooner.
Anonymous
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>Went to bed last night >woke up this morning with a bigass bug bite on my hip >been wondering what could have bit me to make a bug bite that big >It didn't itch like a normal bug bite so I squeezed it a few minutes ago >small white larva pops out, squirms around a sec, dies. >my face
Anonymous
>be male manager supervising 4 teenage girls >me and a couple of the girls are alone in the building one day >hear crazy bloodcurdling screams other end of building >grab gun and race over there, sounds like serious shit is happening >its one of the girls screaming at a couple waterbugs >rage at her for being a pussy >she never goes in that particular room again
Anonymous
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Fuck I know eh'? 1010101010101010101000
Anonymous
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>read this thread >check ceiling and walls for spiders >feel itchy all over >cant sleep
Anonymous
>>8989790 >>8989790 >>8989790 How old are you?
Young enough to playfully flirt with them?
Or are they all disgusting hambeasts.
Anonymous
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>little kid, playing football in the wet grass wearing sandals >running around having the time of my life in the late summer evenings >suddenly, a slug gets caught between my toes and the sole of the sandal >slug guts everywhere >slime everywhere >it takes 20 minutes to clean off slime Feelsbadman.
Anonymous
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>>8989827 20. This was last year, so I was a teenager myself. Fucked one of them while I still worked there and a 2nd about 4 months ago.
But I will never forget her screams of pure terror at a fucking waterbug.
Anonymous
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>open back door to go outside >start kicking a ball around from boredom >walk into spiderweb >Notice spider running on web to me >freak out and run around franticly throwing off my clothes as I run around the yard. >stand there naked while I check for spider on me.
Anonymous
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>leisurely walk through woods behind house >invisible spiderweb gets wrapped around face >rub face until its gone >hear noise >look over shoulder >huge spider on shoulder >SWEET JESUS CHRI- >smack spider off and run for 20 minutes
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>>8989827 why does shit like this always have to come up?
can't you lonely and perverted fucking losers even stay on topic?
fucking sage
Anonymous
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>my cousin's grad party, i'm like 10 >at our glorious city park, infested with yellow jackets >lol my relatives are fucking boring, peace nigga >team up with some random bro and trap ~ 150 yellow jackets in clear plastic cups (those shitty ones that kinda break easily and leave a small space in the cup when stacked, perfect for the operation) by filling them each with a bit of sprite and stacking a cup on top of any bee that goes in a cup >end up with 3 foot long yellow jacket apartment complex tube of death >party over, saran wrap entire thing to ensure no escape and throw that shit into lake st. clair >peace out, bee trapping bro shit was so cash
Anonymous
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>Smoke alarm keeps going off at random hours. >Get on a chair right underneith it. >Twist alarm to take it off the roof. >AAAAAAAAANTS! Thousands of the fuckers, all over my face.
Pierce Medoulla Disgourd !!fg5PJe3nI
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>Over at friend's house >Stay the night >Wake up >Huge fucking black house spider on ceiling more pics to come
Pierce Medoulla Disgourd !!fg5PJe3nI
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>spider after getting caught in cup
Pierce Medoulla Disgourd !!fg5PJe3nI
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>spider next to throwaway black comb
Pierce Medoulla Disgourd !!fg5PJe3nI
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>spider on driveway cement-fence the fuck whatever it's called
Anonymous
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>sitting in sunny backyard reading book >interrupted by annoying bee right next to ear >continue reading >interrupted again 1 minute later >bee comes back every minute for 5 minutes >get BB gun from under bed and hose from side of house >bee sitting on flower 20 feet away >cant hit it with BB gun >it never comes within range of the hose >they're learning
Mr.Happy !!K9UELI2wc
>get scared by a big pregnant spider in my room >construct gladiator arena for bugs as revenge >make spider fight ants >ants rip off the womb-thingo, baby spiders go everywhere >ants hunt down and murder baby spiders >CIRCLE OF LIFE pic related, good times.
Anonymous
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>7 years old >playing in friends yard >bee flying around >friend is allergic and runs inside >"what a baby" >squish bee on flower with hand >stinger in hand >hand swells like crazy >discover I'm also allergic to bees
Anonymous
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>10 years old >move into new house in beginning of year >summer rolls around >reading funny pages and eating Cap'n Crunch in kitchen >feel lump in mouth >spit out cereal >ant in cereal >pour cereal in sink >new bowl >pour Cap'n Crunch >OH GOD THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING CEREAL BOX >same story every summer for next 6 years
Anonymous
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>>8990132 LOLOLOL
fuck yeah, thunderbugdome
Anonymous
>used to loathe spiders >Realize spiders kill other bugs >Have accepted I hate mosquitoes more than I hate spiders >peacefully co-exist now as long as not inside living/bath or bedroom.
Anonymous
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>little sister is outside mowing lawn >comes inside and says she wont do it b/c theres bees outside >fine I'll do it you wimp >no bees >mowing along side of house >lawnmower hits chunk of dirt, dirt turns into sand and goes everywhere >dirt pile was actually underground wasps nest >hundreds of millions of waps angrier than a nigger that doesnt get its welfare check >run around house trying to escape angry horde >cant escape >run into house through garage >take off shirt and pants covered in wasps while running through house >lock self in bathroom >"whats that sound?" >OH GOD ITS IN MY HAIR >remove wasp from hair and shave head the next day
Anonymous
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>staying with grandparents in north carolina >play football outside with cousins >come inside and put on clean pants when we go out to dinner >come back and decide to play manhunt >put on dirty shorts >legs all itchy >shorts full of fire ants >1st degree crotch burns
Anonymous
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>>8990230 >hate spiders >people say spiders kill other bugs >spiders ARE bugs >thats like saying drug dealers are good because they kill other drug dealers >hate spiders Anonymous
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>Be arachnophobic >Move from New England to the Southwest >Realize there is such a thing as Tarantula migration >Things that go *squish* as you drive down the road are huge fucking spiders, squishes come at interval of about 1 every few seconds >Scream like little girl when reach destination and have to get out
Anonymous
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>At friend's house >Large spider on curtain appears, my friend screeches (he hates them) >Everyone evacuates the room >I am the least terrified of spiders person there >Start hitting spider with newspaper >It JUMPS at me >Friend screams >Grab friend's crutch >Smash the spider, now on the floor and dispose of him >Hero >Staying over at other friend's house for week in her living room >Her mother is a hippy, refuses to clean away spider webs or get rid of them >Spiders everywhere, but small and thin-bodied, leave me alone by hanging in corners >Agree to respect the rules and ignore them >One evening gigantic spider is in living room >It's near the door, will probably leave >Later gets near bed >Gonna have to kill this one, it's a monster >While attempting to kill it gets on my futon and bedclothes then scuttles off somewhere I can't see >Nightmares
akako
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>Read whole thread >Going to sleep in basement bedroom >Better not fucking be any spiders tonight >Archive this shit