/r9k2/ - Robot9001 (Oct. 2011 on)

[146 / 0 / ?]

Anonymous Mon 21 May 2012 04:54:31 No.2510012 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Can we get a Public Bathroom Experiences thread?

>on a trip
>stop at a truckstop need to piss really bad.
>all the stalls have no doors.
>one stall even has a glory hole.
>whats the point of a glory hole when none of the stalls have doors, you can see who is in the stall next to you.
>start pissing, trying not to touch anything.
>trucker comes into the stall next to mine and starts taking a shit.
>he starts moaning and grunting
>didn't know if he was taking a shit or having a baby.
>had to pass by him on my way out of the bathroom.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:26:15 No.2518269 Report

Quoted By: >>2518288 >>2518373 >>2518425 >>2521433

> Be janitor at dormitory school (ages 11-18)
> After hours around 10pm, bob marley blasting from my can headphones, smoking a laced cigarette, buffing the gym floor, feel a woft of wind on my back, turn around and see the doors about to close
> Fucking kids... how did they get past the security doors!? There's an army of staff members downstairs for crying out loud.
> Drop wax bottle and lay buffer flat on floor, turn switch off and pull overalls up and zip it up, I wasn't wearing a shirt because it was hot as balls in summer, was wearing jeans though
> Start kicking doors and looking around the classrooms, "Come on stop messing around, if you're here then come out and I'll just send you back to your dorm"
> "Come on kids! I've got tons of work to do, I actually want to leave before midnight!"
> Nothing in any of the classrooms, checked them all one by one, locking them after I'd checked them
> Finally at the end of the corridor I come to the locker room/toilets/showers
> Open and check boys, nothing, but hear a load of girls storm out of the girls toilets laughing, I get half way down the corridor after them when one of them turns around and kicks over the mop bucket, cleaning fluid all over the floor, decide I can't be bothered to pursue them and instead will inform the faculty after I'm done
> Mopping up the fluid with my headphones around my neck I'm just about done when I hear a door up the corridor close, rather angry I throw the mop inside the bucket and go to investigate
> Inside I hear the showers are still on and I hear wimpering inside the cubicle, I shout "Come on, get out of there before I get you out, I'm in no mood for games kid!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:27:02 No.2518275 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518246
I shat twice for him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:28:18 No.2518288 Report

Quoted By: >>2518294 >>2518426

>>2518269
Laced with what?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:29:01 No.2518294 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518288
Damn, I'm surprised that was original.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:30:14 No.2518301 Report

Quoted By:

Public Bathroom Bacteria
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2fxUvbHzoo

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:37:57 No.2518360 Report

Quoted By:

>be seeing a movie
>taking piss before said movie
>black guy taking a piss at the urinal
>turns around just as i get there
>he goes 'oh shit', didn't get his dick into his pants fast enough and it's still hanging out
>it's the biggest dick i've seen in real life
>pretty funny

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:39:53 No.2518373 Report

Quoted By: >>2518425 >>2518571 >>2521433

>>2518269
> Slowly, the cubicle opens, a drenched teenage girl walks out covering herself with her arms shivering, trying not to cry, a gash on her forehead, cuts on her elbows and knees, her hair obviously cut to bits with random long strands and other patches almost bald, blood trickling down her face, her brastrap snapped, looking at me as if I'm going to murder her
> "I'm really sorry Sonny (Everyone knows me on campus), I---I'm..."
> Tears start rolling down her face, she leans against the stall wall and starts crying
> God. Fucking. Damnit, Immediately take off my overalls, they're very clean as I'd washed them that afternoon before work, and handed them to her, I asked "Where's your shoes and clothes?", she points to the showers, I see a night dress torn up and drenched with the showers over them, her slippers too I pick up the remnants, ring the water out of them and put them in a plastic bag (I keep a roll of them in my pocket to change waste basket liners), then sit down on the changing room benches and wait for her to come out of the stall, this poor, sad little girl stepped out of the stall, trying her best not to cry, threw her bra into the plastic bag and started crying again, I stretched out my arms and she practically threw herself into them, after 10 mintues of solid crying I picked her up and carried her downstairs to dorm masters office, unlocked the door, sat at her desk and rang her mobile phone telling her to get her arse down to the main building or I'd phone the head teacher instead.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:44:12 No.2518410 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518048
>OH GOD NO

I can only imagine what that person who entered was thinking.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO UPSET.png, 70KiB, 181x310

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:46:02 No.2518425 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518269
>>2518373
That was unexpectedly sad.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:46:07 No.2518426 Report

Quoted By: >>2518456

>>2518288
What do you think? Bear in mind that on a typical night nobody bothers coming upstairs and because the sports hall is so big and the wax polish is so powerful you wouldn't be able to smell it anyway, I usually mix flavored tobacco in with the weed to defuse the smell, I'm not supposed to be smoking indoors anyway but lets face it, who the fuck else are they going to find who likes working 40 hours a week in a dead end job, knowing what each and every chemical does and knows how to clean everything so it sparkles and does painting, plastering, security call-outs and all the other stupid little jobs I have to do... Nobody, that's who, especially in this ass-end of nowhere.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:46:58 No.2518431 Report

Quoted By:

>>2511348
>reading this post
>take sip of water
>let the bodies hit the floo-
>inhale water, start drowning
>spent two minutes coughing and dying
thanks asshole

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:49:34 No.2518446 Report

Quoted By: >>2518491

>4 months ago
>in mall washroom
>use handicapped stall because bigger and fuck waiting
>old asian guy standing outside of stall; not going in
>go and check. See nothing wrong
>start to pop a squat
>guy starts pacing
>continue to poo
>suddenly, his fucking face shows up at the bottom of the stall with a huge grin
>start freaking out
>he says something in chink talk
>I get all of my fucks out of there
>my fucking face when
>http://i.imgur.com/u96dq.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:51:29 No.2518456 Report

Quoted By: >>2518560

>>2518426
When you say 'laced' it makes it sound like you added a small amount of a much more powerful drug.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:55:29 No.2518478 Report

Quoted By:

>2nd grade
>Feeling a little sick, but nothing too bad
>Near the end of the day, stomach hurts
>Ask to go to the bathroom
>Bad, diarrhea shit
>Wipe, thing I'm done. Pull up pants
>All of a sudden I feel the shit leak out of my pants
>Near tears, grab my backpack from the class and the bell rings
>Walk outside to my mom
>Cry
>Get home, bathe, sleep

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:56:28 No.2518491 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518446
>imgur

wow you are such a retard I can not even begin to describe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 01:58:30 No.2518511 Report

Quoted By: >>2518528

I used to hang about at the mall, and when someone went into the toilet I'd go in after them. If they went into a stall, I'd wait a few moments in silence, look under the door to check if their trousers were down and they were sitting on the toilet, then start shouting angrily at them, cursing them and threatening them, and banging on the door. Sometimes I'd piss on the floor under the stall door or piss on clumps of toilet paper and throw them over into the stall. A few times I shat on the floor on front of the stall door.

After a while I'd leave and secretly film them as they came out looking scared shitless. They had no idea who did it.

I was a fucking psychopath back then.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:00:06 No.2518528 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518511
holy balls

fucking capped

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:03:41 No.2518551 Report

Quoted By:

>with my brothers at a Goodwill
Among the four of us we...
>pissed on all the toilet paper
>pissed on ground
>clogged toilet with two massive shits
>puked in toilet
>puked in sink
>puked on ground

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:04:33 No.2518560 Report

Quoted By: >>2521433

>>2518456
I've only ever tried something stronger once, never did it again, I like weed because it's a background drug, you can go about your business while high, with a small amount of weed in your cigarette towards the middle you get a nice warm-bellied buzz without the effects of a joint/spliff.

Turns out that girl was the target of a massive bullying campaign by all of the girls on her floor, even her dorm-mates bullied her (3 in 1 room), all of them were suspended, all of them had to give written apologies to her and considering it's a rich kids school, I was told by the girl that all of their parents bought her gifts and send her parents apologies... that still doesn't make up for what they did in my eyes... that hair must have taken years to grow, and I had to clean it all up too, it was all over the shower floors.

It might sound a little weird but she never gave me my overalls back, they weren't typical work overalls, they were portwest lightweights, they cost me 90 pounds and are much better than the shit they usually give you, she's either too embarrassed to give them back or she's used them as pajamas, either way I miss them, they were sooo comfy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:04:59 No.2518571 Report

Quoted By: >>2518732

>>2518373
i'm willing to bet nothing came of those girls.

this story makes me want to kill myself. fuck humanity.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:08:18 No.2518596 Report

Quoted By:

>1st grade
>me and a friend went to the bathroom to piss
>standing next to each other at urinal pissing
>he asks me a question, and instead of turning my head i went full retard and turned my whole body mid stream and ended up pissing all down his leg and shoes
>parents called and i get in trouble

sorry brendon

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:28:48 No.2518732 Report

Quoted By: >>2518849 >>2520550 >>2521433

>>2518571
Eh, bitches and whores, girls are by far the cruelest creatures on earth, the way they savaged that girl was just plain wrong, best of all they all picked on her not because she was smarter or prettier (though she was prettier), it was because she was French and they didn't like the way she dressed or the way she spoke... what a fucking retarded reason to pick on someone.

When I was holding her she was shouting into my chest "Je veu rentre a la maison! Je detest ce endroi!", which I later figured to be "I hate this place! I want to go home!"

Such a sad thing to hear when you think about it... Away from her family, out of her own country and bullied by petty sadistic little harlots.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:41:52 No.2518846 Report

Quoted By: >>2518855

>8 hours on a bus in Britain
>finally get to London
>immediately sprint to the toilets
>go to a urinel and start to piss
>feelssogoodman.jpeg
>keep on pissing
>and pissing
>and pissing
>and pissing
>and pissing
>and pissing
>at this point about two people have had a piss and washed their hands in the time it's taking me to piss
>the best piss I've ever had

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:42:49 No.2518849 Report

Quoted By: >>2518872 >>2519084

>>2518732
fuck you. you're right in there with the worst of them for hating an entire gender blindly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:43:15 No.2518855 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518846
I've had a piss like that... feels glorious, full, blasting stream 5 minute piss, iron bladder!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:45:36 No.2518872 Report

Quoted By: >>2518926 >>2519084

>>2518849
Oh yeah, I hate women don't I?
generalizations based of experiences aren't hateful, they're just that. in my experience women can be the most vindictive spiteful pieces of shit on the planet, deal with it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:51:59 No.2518926 Report

Quoted By: >>2518985 >>2518991 >>2519084

>>2518872
go learn how to logic you useless fuck.

so you meet some terrible women? that must mean the ones you haven't met are terrible. fucking scumbag.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:58:05 No.2518985 Report

Quoted By: >>2519019 >>2519084

>>2518926
> Can you read? I said can be, was the girl I found evil? No she wasn't, she's an exception.

Stop spitting bile, if you're a woman you're hardly helping your argument, if you're a male feminist then go and find your balls and stop being so sensitive, you're embarrassing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 02:58:57 No.2518991 Report

Quoted By: >>2519084

>>2518926
He helped a girl that just got bullied and you talk to him like this?

An hero kneckbeard an hero

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 03:01:44 No.2519019 Report

Quoted By: >>2519084

>>2518985
the fact that she's an exception and that you don't include men in being also equally horrible people shows your true colors.

people are terrible. the end. stop acting like your race of men is high and mighty.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 03:02:58 No.2519033 Report

Quoted By:

>load up /r9k/
>see yesterday's shit thread is still going
>look for new entries
>people arguing about hating women

EVEN IN THE SHIT THREAD :(

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 03:08:32 No.2519084 Report

Quoted By:

>>2519019
>>2518991
>>2518985
>>2518926
>>2518872
>>2518849
>arguing in a shit stories thread

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 03:11:22 No.2519111 Report

Quoted By:

1:

>be in 6th or 7th grade
>lunch time, using bathroom
>buddy is in the bathroom with me
>i'm pissing in the stall, so it's not awkward
>friend kicks the stall door
>frightens me terribly, lose control of my penis mid-piss and tinkle all over my shorts
>walk to front office with big pee stain on pants
>the girls in the office giggle at me
>go home
>forget about it next day

2:

>coming home after a trip
>gotta use the bathroom
>tell grandparents to pull over at next stop
>next stop just happens to be a gift shop, gas station, and McDonald's all in one
>w/e nerd
>run to the bathroom (located in the McD's section
>cry havoc
>a literal poop pie about a foot wide and 3 or 4 inches tall dominates what's left of that poor toilet
>run out of bathroom and cackle madly at the line of 4 fat guys behind me

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 05:49:34 No.2520550 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518732
>When I was holding her she was shouting into my chest "Je veu rentre a la maison! Je detest ce endroi!", which I later figured to be "I hate this place! I want to go home!"
Maybe I'm sappy, but it breaks my heart to read this

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 06:10:53 No.2520733 Report

Quoted By:

>be at Target
>in bathroom using urinal with friends
>someones in stall
>hear moaning and grunting
>pretty positive he's jerking off in there
>me and friend lol the fuck outa there

heres another:

>be in elementary school
>stalls can be unlocked on the outside
>use coins to unlock stalls while people are shitting
>throw door open and run out of bathroom whilst listening to them freak out.

got in trouble eventually haha. was worth it.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO cry eye wipe.jpg, 47KiB, 608x336

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 07:12:07 No.2521433 Report

Quoted By:

>>2518269
>>2518373
>>2518560
>>2518732

I...I didn't feel like crying tonight, kind janitor anon. But I feel I must.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 14:14:43 No.2524734 Report

Quoted By:

bumpp up in this funny bitch

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 14:53:59 No.2524964 Report

Quoted By:

>work in primary school as a IT guy
>primary school staff is only females aside from me
>only have unisex toilets in staff rooms
>tampon bins make every piss I take awkward enough already
>needs to shit
>every time I go to sit down someone walks in
>NOPE *suck it back in*
>walk 3km to get to shopping center in lunch break
>Drop mother of all turds
>FUCK FLUSHING!
>walk out feeling lighter

Shouldnt only have unisex toilets

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 15:04:36 No.2525004 Report

Quoted By:

>This thread is why you niggers should have your daily bowel catharsis every morning at home.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 15:09:06 No.2525025 Report

Quoted By:

>Racing around a town I've never been to
>Find a mall, hurry to the bathroom
>Enter, notice both urinals occupied
>Decide on the stall, turn around
>The doors are unbelievably short
>Now eye to eye with some guy taking a shit.
>Give a slight head nod, say 'sup..'
>Piss can wait, immediately leave

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 15:39:52 No.2525149 Report

Quoted By:

i cried laughing reading this thread. amazing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 16:14:42 No.2525299 Report

Quoted By:

>> Day after my live in gf of 1 year broke up with me
>> Only ever gf
>> Be depressed in city
>> Go to fart
>> Suddenly, shit in pants
>> Try to remain calm, freaking out
>> Walk into clothes store nearby, buy pack of underwear.
>> Walk into "Safe haven" toilet I know nearby (one that's clean and you can shit in
>> Sit down, shit
>> Wipe
>> Have haemmeroids, so take f'ing ages to wipe.
>> Change underwear in bathroom to new underwear
>> See bong on the ground of the stall.
>> Still smoking.
>> mfw I realise I'm wearing my "Sex drugs and rockin beats" shirt with a picture of naked woman smoking weed.
>> mfw cop walks in to shit in stall next to mine
>> mfw smoking bong on ground next to shitty pants
>> run forrest run

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 17:24:09 No.2525657 Report

Quoted By:

>>2510709

>hanging around in bathrooms
>" hmm, people shit and piss in here, let's stay in here and chat!"

what the fuck is wrong with women?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 18:30:59 No.2525971 Report

Quoted By:

Man, I wish I could find a stall with shit smeared on the walls. The image of that made me laugh for 5 minutes straight.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 19:58:20 No.2526381 Report

Quoted By:

oh god this is too funny to 404

Teleute !Ir6arIIyU.

Teleute !Ir6arIIyU. Tue 22 May 2012 22:39:53 No.2527553 Report

Quoted By: >>2527850 >>2527866

http://chanarchive.org/requests
You must request it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 23:15:58 No.2527850 Report

Quoted By:

>>2527553

I've voted, I think we need one more vote.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 23:17:40 No.2527866 Report

Quoted By:

>>2527553

I've voted, someone else vote for glorious poo stories.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 23:26:01 No.2527943 Report

Quoted By:

>>2510781

> Come out of stall and Thriller walk to sink
> Stumble the fuck out of there
> I probably looked like I had cerebral palsy

10/10

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 May 2012 23:34:40 No.2528015 Report

Quoted By:

Not mine but something a friend of mine did.
>Friend is a manager at McDonald's
>Has an employee who keeps turning his McDonald's hat side ways to be "cool"
>Different employee let's friend know that some one has shit all over the men's restroom.
>Friend goes in to investigate.
>There is shit on the right side floor of the toilet, up the back/side wall and on the ceiling.
>Friend is speechless.
>remembers hat dude pissing him off all morning with the hat thing.
>Makes hat dude clean it.
>Hat dude finishes after 2 solid hours of cleaning.
>Friend suspends hat dude for 2 days for the hat bullshit.
Guy never came back.

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