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Never actually had a good Shit General story to tell. Until today. Thank God this thread still exists.
>Be in uni
>Suddenly, usual twisting pains in stomach yadayada
> Pains getting intense. Pokerface walk casually out of class while inside I'm like "I'M GONNA FUCKING BLOW!"
>In a rather small campus, only two main bathrooms. One is closed for maintenance or something. Go in remaining free bathroom.
>Almost kick door of hinges of bathroom
>Bathroom full of people, washing hands, pissing at urinal etc. All cubicle's in use
>Waiting outside cubical. Pains feel like my stomach is going through blender. Anus getting warm
>HHNNGGRAWWWWGGHHH. Weird noises from stomach. Pains so bad feel like collapsing to floor and release everything.
>Legs start to quiver and jolt forward as if being kicked in back of knee from trying to conceal embarrassment of the pain
>WTFIsThatIdiotDoing looks everywhere.jpg
>Finally get into cubical. Almost rip pants off. Sit down. Release.
>Sounds of armageddon project through bathroom as an explosion of shaving foam consistency shit flows out of my anus uncontrollably.
>Trying desperately to stop my screams of pain. Suddenly, little outburst yelps as I can't hide the pain anymore. "AHH...GARRGGHHH" while projectile shit falls out of my gaping asshole.
>So much uncontrollable body movements, piss so hard my penis flies around like a garden hose on full blast. Piss everywhere.
>Eventually get to wipe anus. By some miracle, anus is as clean as a whistle.
>Leave bathroom like a boss. Return to class as if nothing has happened.
>Return to bathroom a few hours later for a normal piss
>Turn around, see my back in mirror
>Shit sprayed all the way up the back of my shirt. Realise that's how my anus was so clean.
>Had been walking around with shit everywhere and I didn't even know.
>mfw