/sci/ - Science & Math » Thread #3841210

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106KiB, 450x600, heaven.jpg

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:38:00 No.3841210 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

You have just died, and you find yourself at the gates of Heaven with Saint Peter before you.

"Have you anything to say for yourself before I issue your fate?" he asks. What do you say?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:42:00 No.3841222 Report

Quoted By:

You can't prove this is happening.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:42:00 No.3841223 Report

Quoted By: >>3841238

"If you deem it sinful for me to have used the logic and reasoning skills that God gave me to deduce the purely illogical nature of the existence of a higher being, then damn me to hell."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:46:00 No.3841233 Report

Quoted By: >>3841238

So you're about to make me go to hell, but God knew this would happen in the grand scheme of things, right? So how the fuck is this 'moral' at all?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:47:00 No.3841235 Report

Quoted By:

Well, this is awkward

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:47:00 No.3841236 Report

Quoted By:

"Shit."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:48:00 No.3841238 Report

Quoted By: >>3841243

>>3841223
>>3841233

Because pissing off the person capable of sending you to eternal damnation is clearly a good idea.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:49:00 No.3841243 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841238
>implying he wasn't going to damn you to hell anyway for not believing in babby jesus

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:49:00 No.3841244 Report

Quoted By:

What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets.

But enough talk. HAVE AT YOU!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:51:00 No.3841249 Report

Quoted By:

Sorry I happened to be wrong. If it's any consolation, I do believe now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:52:00 No.3841253 Report

Quoted By: >>3841289

What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO bertstare.jpg, 18KiB, 476x356

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:54:00 No.3841263 Report

Quoted By:

nothing. just bertstare him until he melts.

pic related

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:58:00 No.3841274 Report

Quoted By: >>3841293

I thought that it was written that Jesus said the dead will be given a chance at the end. I don't have time to search for the passage, however.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:58:00 No.3841275 Report

Quoted By:

>and you find yourself at the gates of Heaven with Saint Peter before you.

DMT is a great fucking drug.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 06:58:00 No.3841276 Report

Quoted By:

You already know what I'm going to say, so this is pretty pointless, huh?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:01:00 No.3841285 Report

Quoted By:

If you are who you say you are, you already know why I made the choices I did in life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:02:00 No.3841288 Report

Quoted By:

You guys suck at what you do.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:02:00 No.3841289 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841253

Then you just start break dancing in front of God, Jesus, and your forefathers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:03:00 No.3841293 Report

Quoted By: >>3841302

>>3841274

The bible can say whatever you want it to say.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:05:00 No.3841299 Report

Quoted By:

Five dolla, me love you long time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:06:00 No.3841302 Report

Quoted By: >>3841332 >>3841358

>>3841293
I'm not interpreting. AFAIK, it is written that Jesus literally said that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:14:00 No.3841332 Report

Quoted By: >>3841340

>>3841302
According to the Bible Jesus said a lot of things.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:15:00 No.3841338 Report

Quoted By:

MUHFUGEN BIX NOOD

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:15:00 No.3841340 Report

Quoted By: >>3841353

>>3841332
According to the bible, Jesus existed

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:18:00 No.3841353 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841340

So does the Kraken.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:20:00 No.3841358 Report

Quoted By: >>3841380

>>3841302
That's a total lie

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:23:00 No.3841368 Report

Quoted By:

"Wow. I honestly did not see that coming."

iranus

iranus Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:24:00 No.3841371 Report

Quoted By:

fuck da police

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:27:00 No.3841380 Report

Quoted By: >>3841395

>>3841358
I didn't say it was the truth or not, only that it is what I remember. However, neither of us can prove it without searching through the Gospels.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:30:00 No.3841391 Report

Quoted By: >>3841404

"I'll have my virgins twelve years old and below, thanks."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:31:00 No.3841395 Report

Quoted By: >>3841408

>>3841380

you can't prove anything if you use a fairy tale as reference.

or do you also believe there's a goose making gold eggs?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:31:00 No.3841397 Report

Quoted By:

Every rose has it's thorn,
Just like every night has it's dawn,
Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song,
Every rose has it's thorn.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:32:00 No.3841400 Report

Quoted By:

I'd make that face that you do when someone makes a joke in really poor taste. And be like

"Uhmm.. My bad? forgive me?"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:32:00 No.3841404 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841391

below what?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:33:00 No.3841408 Report

Quoted By: >>3841434

>>3841395

You can prove that such a statement exists in the text.

Of course, this does not prove that the subject actually uttered the statement, or actually existed. At least, not with reference to a single source, especially one so biased.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:35:00 No.3841412 Report

Quoted By:

Say? I knock him the fuck out, wrench the gates open, fly screaming through heaven trailing a column of fire, tackle God and rape him for a thousand eternities for every child that was raped by a priest.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:39:00 No.3841424 Report

Quoted By:

This thread has received 1 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:40:00 No.3841434 Report

Quoted By: >>3841446 >>3841467

>>3841408
There is proof in Roman texts that a Jew named Jesus existed, and that he was no friend of the Roman empire. That's about as far as it goes, though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:44:00 No.3841446 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841434
There is not a single contemporary of Jesus claiming anything about him outside of the Bible, one of which is completely biased as he was a christian, the other of which was simply writing about the Christians, which we know existed.
Even the Gospels themselves were written after his death as second hand accounts, so we have no reliable first hand account of his existence or deeds.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 03 Oct 2011 07:49:00 No.3841467 Report

Quoted By:

>>3841434

The only contemporary account, in fact, if it is about the same Jesus, was the Roman one.

Not much to go on.

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