Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
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No.11920262 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
>hear noise in garage
>go to check with baseball bat
>man rooting through my stuff
>jackie chan kicks me
>yells grip and sip motherfucker
>im sitting there all sexy like
>he runs off
>i sit there
>he runs back in
>kicks me in the balls