/sp/artans, while you sit at your computers, hopefully as mad as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks as Undisputed Master Troll, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don't hate you, /sp/artans. I don't even dislike you. I do like you guys. I like you guys a hell of a lot more than I like most people on the internet.

I hate this idea that you guys are the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you all are better at than I am and that's kissing /sp/'s ass.

You're as good as kissing /sp/'s ass as Pirate Captain was. I don't know if you're as good as Mustard Buzzard though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I'm breaking character!

I am the best troll in the world.

I've been the best since day one when I first posted on this board. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because the mod saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a “mod guy”. You know who else was a “mod guy”? MMB. And he split just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and MMB is I'm going to leave as the Undisputed Master Troll.

I've grabbed so many of /sp/'s brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that there just that, they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost three years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best in discussion, the best in trolling, even the best in creating original content! Nobody can touch me!