/a/, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave 4chan in three weeks with your 52000000 get, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, /a/. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I actually like you a hell of a lot more than I like most other boards on 4chan. I hate this idea that you’re the best because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am, and that’s kissing moot's ass. You’re as good at kissing moot’s ass as /b/ was. I don’t know if you’re as good as /v/ they're pretty good ass-kissers always was and still is. I am the best board in the world. I’ve been the best ever since Day One when I was just a trial board and I've been vilified and hated since that day because "18-1" was being spammed across all boards before I came along.

I’ve grabbed so many of moot's imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that. They’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost three years, I’ve proved to everybody in the world that I am the best at trolling, off-topic threads, even in creating original content. Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on a crappy 4chan-themed video on youtube. I’m not on Encyclopedia Dramatica, I’m not on Know Your Meme, but the fact of the matter is I should be, and trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that /3/ will still be around and I'm not makes me sick!