/tg/ - Traditional Games » Thread #14904359

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Anonymous !8CHDJ3c6tQ Thu 12 May 2011 23:57:00 No.14904359 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

A retired police officer who lectures police groups on the occult said D & D is:

"...supposed to be a board game, but kids play it for life and death on the street."

That's how we roll on the streets. Shit's hardcore out here, son.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:38:00 No.14908727 Report

Quoted By:

*Pours a 40 for fallen bards*

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:38:00 No.14908730 Report

Quoted By: >>14908768

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:40:00 No.14908750 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908719
God damn I hated that Gygax nigga! You know how many of my crew he capped?! Fuckin lost a dozen party members in one encounter.

Bitch better stay dead.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:42:00 No.14908768 Report

Quoted By: >>14908874

>>14908730
I would watch the shit out of something like this

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:44:00 No.14908783 Report

Quoted By: >>14908982

"-sir, what can you tell us about the gangbangers that shot up your neighborhood last night?"
"Man, I'ma tell you what, they come by my place, shoot up MY ride? Well now them bitches is gonna pay. Tell em Master G's running the Temple of Elemental Evil, muthafuckers."

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:44:00 No.14908785 Report

Quoted By:

The whole tavern goes wild when I drop a beat,
Skill Focus: Rappin' was my level 1 feat.
Go ahead and fuck around with all your prestige classes,
All I need is one die roll to stomp all your bitch asses.

Was int your dump stat?
Cause you sure seem dense.
Elf asses shakin so fast
They set off my tremor sense.

Yo, here's a fetch quest: get me some more ale
And don't try to step again- you'll just critically fail.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:45:00 No.14908792 Report

Quoted By: >>14908924

/tg/, these are my favorite threads.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:48:00 No.14908819 Report

Quoted By:

ITT: Fuel for that fat white guy rap album I was working on.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:52:00 No.14908873 Report

Quoted By: >>14908899 >>14912960

Crack rocks fall, errybody high!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FantasyRap.png, 39KiB, 603x504

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:52:00 No.14908874 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908768
You mean you didn't know?

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5315595
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5331362

Sword and Board vs. DJ Phylactery was amazing.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:54:00 No.14908898 Report

Quoted By: >>14909013

>read through shitty bitching topic meant to lead to bad DM stories, turns into a bunch of horseshit arguing about bearded dwarves and more horseshit between fascist DM's and libertarian entitled players
>feelsbadman
>see this thread
>BITCH, FUCK YO SHITTY METATHREAD, IT'S PLAYAS & CHARACTARS UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER
>FEELSBALLINNIGGUH

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:54:00 No.14908899 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908873

Ok, that just made me do a literal spit-take.

That'll teach me not to browse /tg/ and drink coffee at the same time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 06:57:00 No.14908924 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908792
Amen to that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:01:00 No.14908982 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908783
You know they'll retaliate right?
They might even go FULL OUT TEMPLE OF HORRORS ON A MOTHAFUCKA

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:04:00 No.14909013 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908898
This post made me smile so wide, it hurts my face.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:08:00 No.14909091 Report

Quoted By: >>14909485

k. This thread needs more content.

As such: how do street encounters between gangsters work in this setting? Do they just pull out their dice, and roll on any hard surface to see who gets initiative?

...Suddenly, the phrase "let's roll those fuckers" has a whole new meaning.

Or are we instead just talking about gangers who enjoy D&D, but still perform everyday gang operations as normal? As in, shouting "Sneak Attack" during drive-bys, selling drugs in terms of gold pieces, hitting that White Wolf gang down the street, that sort of thign?

Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ

Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ Fri 13 May 2011 07:09:00 No.14909104 Report

Quoted By:

This thread reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_hlWl1PKfo&feature=related

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:12:00 No.14909133 Report

Quoted By:

Is anyone else reminded of this scene?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0mxz2-AQ64

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:14:00 No.14909153 Report

Quoted By:

"Oh I'm that guy?"
"Yeah nigga, you that guy. You outta the game."
"Bitch you cuttin' me outta the game!"
"Thas what he said niggah, you-"
"Bitch are you in the conversation? No? Then shut the fuck up and take your punk ass build with you! What kinda motherfuckin' cleric has 14 Charisma?"
"Man shut the fuck up, you outta the game! Get the fuck out!"
"Nigga you cut me out you get cut! Let's do this shit!"
"Aw shit, no you done it! You gonna be beggin them to call the cops on me once we get started niggah it's on!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:23:00 No.14909258 Report

Quoted By: >>14909337

Someone needs to make a Playas and Characters edit to Blackleaf from that christian comic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:24:00 No.14909277 Report

Quoted By:

man, this thread is already awesome but that OP gif just makes it complete. anyone got any sauce on that perchance?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:25:00 No.14909282 Report

Quoted By:

"Yo man I gots to axe you a question."
"Lay it on me son."
"Who runs things in this hood?"
"Nah ma, we don't talk about him."
"Ey come on man, I gots to know. My boys need to pick up a little work. Help a nigga out."
"..."
"Please?"
"A'ight man. The guy who runs things? Runs everything. They call this niggah the DM."
"The DM? The fuck does that mean?"
"I dunno B, but you can find him in the northside most every Sunday. That's his game night man."
"A'ight man, thanks I'll hit him up."
"Cool man, just don't say you heard it from me and don't creep up on 'im for say, 2AM. He doesn't like getting interrupted. Says it breaks the immersion or some shit."

Indonesian Gentleman

Indonesian Gentleman Fri 13 May 2011 07:27:00 No.14909309 Report

Quoted By:

Two words.
Gangsta Wizard.
"ZAP, mofukka!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:29:00 No.14909337 Report

Quoted By:

>>14909258

"Yo man, your burglar Black Leaf didn't spot the abandoned syringe trap. She gets the AIDs and dies."
"What? Nah man that's bullshit!"
"Let the dice fall where the may man."
"No! Niggah you know it's bullshit! I won't let her die man! Not my girl Black Leaf! She's mah shortie! Come on yo, some body do something! Save her!"
"Pull it togetha niggah! Bitches ain't shit anyhow."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Damn son, some niggahs..."

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:42:00 No.14909485 Report

Quoted By:

>>14909091

i think its the second one we are going by but i wish it were the first.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:47:00 No.14909526 Report

Quoted By:

>"...supposed to be a board game, but kids play it for life and death on the street."
Considering the average D&D session is very much a fantasy gang simulation he's right in a way.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 07:48:00 No.14909536 Report

Quoted By: >>14909566

"Bitch nigga hell no we ain't goin' on no DRIVE BY! The FUCK is wrong with you?! How many attacks of opportunity you think we gonna provoke with that shit!? Think fo' a minute! A REAL crip nigga get his ass into some BUSHES. That's a CONCEALMENT bonus muthafucka!"

Badgerfag

Badgerfag Fri 13 May 2011 07:51:00 No.14909566 Report

Quoted By:

>>14909536

and gangsters finally learn small unit tactics thanks to of all things, d&d

Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ

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Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ Fri 13 May 2011 07:56:00 No.14909628 Report

Quoted By: >>14911665 >>14915039

over 900 hours
MS paint
yadda-yadda

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 11:23:00 No.14911665 Report

Quoted By: >>14912001

>>14909628
Heavy yelling "NIGGA PLEASE!" may just be my new Favorite Thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 12:22:00 No.14912001 Report

Quoted By:

>>14911665
Why? I can't even envision it properly. (Enhear it?)

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 13:43:00 No.14912404 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 15:51:00 No.14912960 Report

Quoted By:

>>14908873

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 18:12:00 No.14913862 Report

Quoted By:

Bump...

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 18:17:00 No.14913896 Report

Quoted By:

you all think that D&D is hardcore but you know nothing about hardcore until you go larping

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 18:31:00 No.14914005 Report

Quoted By:

Best thread on /tg/ this week.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 19:51:00 No.14914591 Report

Quoted By: >>14914769

I got 99 problems but a lich ain't one.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:07:00 No.14914683 Report

Quoted By:

Oh man. This thread would be the only way to have made GTA: San Andreas better than it was.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:19:00 No.14914769 Report

Quoted By:

>>14914591
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A pally like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to my Lord
Pray for him, cause some bards just love to perform
You know the type loud as a tavern night
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to stabbin'
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there I go trapped in the dungeon again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Giant rats on the floor scratchin again
criers with they bullhorns yappin' them
Guard tried to give the pally shaft again
Million gold for bail cause I smite'n them
All because this fool was harrasin' them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my blade
I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one.
Hit me

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:20:00 No.14914770 Report

Quoted By:

bump motherfucker

>mass rhaper

indeed

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:37:00 No.14914898 Report

Quoted By: >>14914914 >>14917914

As I browse through the minis of my local games store
I took a look at my life and realized I’m very poor
But that's just perfect for an fa/tg/uy like me
You know, I bought that space marine battle company
At 4:30 in the morning dice are rolling
PCs are dying the whole session railroading... fools
And I've been plannin' and ragin’ so long that
Even my mother thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the die, I've passed my knowledge check
Got a codex in my hand and a beard on my neck
But if I finish all my painting and if you get Matt
Then tonight I am putting on my wizard robes and hat.

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
I've done FATAL once or twice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
It's hard work in rolling dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We buy minis at high price
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:38:00 No.14914914 Report

Quoted By: >>14914923 >>14917914

>>14914898
A local boy made a Mary Sue last week
I just approved it and saved my mad critique
I really don’t mind, I didn’t even rage
‘cause I dumped the Lady of Pain on him, flaying his mage.
But I ain't never punched weeaboos even if they deserved it
A fa/tg/uy with a tool? You know that’s unheard of
I’m obese and smelly but have the best army
And my homies agree, it won every tourney...fools
If you’re here for stories, you'll be wrecked to tears
We have C.S Goto raping well known canon for years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We are just autistically impaired

There's chainfists, chainswords, and lightning claws
In our life hobby
Like Cthulhu Mythos
It's as grim an’ dark as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We're just fat and nerdy guys
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
There's no greater sin and vice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We all fight, by rolling dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:40:00 No.14914923 Report

Quoted By: >>14917914

>>14914914
Hitchin' up a game group, churnin' out new content
Made a game on Sunday, soon I'll make another
Think you’re pimp at rollplay? Think you can roleplay?
I know I’m a million times more playa then you gay fae
I'm the neckbeard guy the young Gygaxes wanna be like
In the store day and night rollin’ paragon mad soulknife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, weeaboo, I might declare Exterminatus on your army

We been spending most our lives
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We’re all crazy max/min-ites
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We all dare to fantasize
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise
We’re all virgins who roll dice
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 20:55:00 No.14915039 Report

Quoted By: >>14917784

>>14909628

Sauce?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 21:02:00 No.14915091 Report

Quoted By:

Huh. Intelligen/tg/angstas. Never thought I'd see the day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 21:33:00 No.14915332 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

>Skizilli Company

Yes captcha, these neckbeards got mad skizills.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2011 21:40:00 No.14915390 Report

Quoted By:

Thugs: The Slangin'

Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ

Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ Sat 14 May 2011 03:44:00 No.14917784 Report

Quoted By:

>>14915039

http://thepunchlineismachismo(dot)com/

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 May 2011 04:08:00 No.14917874 Report

Quoted By:

This thread is glooorius!

Turpin Girard 3954 6339 9177

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Turpin Girard 3954 6339 9177 Sat 14 May 2011 04:14:00 No.14917914 Report

Quoted By:

>>14914898
>>14914914
>>14914923

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