/tg/ - Traditional Games » Thread #14730992

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 10:58:00 No.14730992 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

>my face when crab clan has the best tactics out of all the Empire
Crane: Hit them with a tetsubo.
Unicorn: Hit them with a tetsubo.
Dragon: Hit them with a tetsubo.
Mantis: Hit them with a tetsbuo.
Phoenix: Hit them with a tetsbuo.
Scorpion: Hit them with a tetsbuo.
Lion: Hit them with a tetsubo. Twice.

Clearly, it is the most elegant of all strategies.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:06:00 No.14731063 Report

Quoted By: >>14731101 >>14731144

1. But what happens when a Crab with a tetsubo faces another Crab with a tetsubo?

2. What about an oni (picture related) with a tetsubo?

3. Why does it turn into "tetsbuo" halfway through?

4. Why is the Kaiu Blade, the signature sacred weapon of the Crab, a katana and not a tetsubo?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:11:00 No.14731101 Report

Quoted By: >>14731131

>>14731063
1 they brofist and beat oni with their tetsubo.
2 hit the oni with a tetsubo
3 tainted weapon, replace with jade tetsubo
4 the Kaiu Blade is mostly for show

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:17:00 No.14731131 Report

Quoted By: >>14731273 >>14731330 >>14731331

>>14731101
>4 the Kaiu Blade is mostly for show

You tell me that when you're staring down the Tainted gaijin pepper cannon of a Panzer no Oni in the Shadowlands, and you need something that can cut right through all of its Reduction RIGHT NOW.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:19:00 No.14731144 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731063
1. Hit the other guy with a tetsubo first.
2. Hit him with a tetsubo until he goes down.
3. The OP's a moron.
4. It's all ceremonial and shit.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:35:00 No.14731273 Report

Quoted By: >>14731330 >>14731349

>>14731131
the weapon of choice against the Panzer no oni is the Sacred Javelin of the anti-tank Kami.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:42:00 No.14731330 Report

Quoted By: >>14731492 >>14731554

>>14731131
>>14731273
>modern weapons and devices in ancient times described as legendary objects, gifts of the gods, etc. by the ancients to troll modern archaeologists
Barring the troll part, it sounds like an awesome setting.

Wasn't a nuclear war described in some Hindu texts?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:42:00 No.14731331 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731131
I'm fucking laughing at this and even with the posting delay I'm still gonna be fucking laughing when it finally gets posted.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:44:00 No.14731349 Report

Quoted By: >>14731403

>>14731273
A prayer to Susano-wo works wonders, too.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:53:00 No.14731403 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731349
You mean Osano-wo.

Also, AAAAAAAAHHHH CAPTCHA, you have that Calligraphy of Thought shadowlands power for mind reading!

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 11:59:00 No.14731455 Report

Quoted By: >>14731477 >>14731793

It is time for a tale of the Crab Clan. An ancient and honorable tale.

It all began in the first days of the Empire...

The Kami had just fallen to earth, and were beginning to form their clans. Each of the children of the Sun and the Moon found that they were best suited to a particular role. The clan of the Crab stood ready to defend the Empire from the foul minions of the Dark Kami.

One day, Hida and his faithful lieutenant Hiruma were on a foray into the Shadowlands when they came upon a frail looking old man. The man huddled in the cold, for he was naked. Hiruma urged caution, but Hida noticed the token of jade at the man's throat and approached.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:04:00 No.14731477 Report

Quoted By: >>14731574 >>14731606 >>14731793

>>14731455

Old man, why are you naked?" Hida asked.

The man fell to his knees and placed his forehead to the ground, for he was in the presence of a god.

"Great Hida!" the man wailed. "Fortunes bless me! I was out for a stroll and I became lost. The very land seemed to change around me and I could not find my way home. As I walked, it grew very hot. So hot, that I had to cast off my shirt. But it grew hotter still, and I had to remove my breeches as well. Then, night fell and I grew so cold. I thought I would perish! Help me please, O Mighty Hida! I beseech you!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:10:00 No.14731492 Report

Quoted By: >>14731609 >>14731626

>>14731330
>Wasn't a nuclear war described in some Hindu texts?

Nah, Oppenheimer just used a quote from the Bhagavad Ghita after seeing a nuclear test

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:17:00 No.14731554 Report

Quoted By: >>14731671

>>14731330
Read "The Orcs". Orcs get hold of an artifact that grants them modern day military training and gear, they proceed to fuck the shit out of everybody else.

Also Stryke

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:18:00 No.14731574 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731477
And...?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:22:00 No.14731606 Report

Quoted By: >>14731647 >>14731793

>>14731477

"I have already placed my life between the Empire and the forces of my brother," Hida announced proudly, "and I will do so until the Sun and Moon fall from the sky. But let it not be said that Hida is a brute, without compassion. I will give you the shirt off my back, so that you will not perish. I am hardy and will survive without it." Hida removed his tunic and gave it to the old man
.
Still, the old man shivered, his legs exposed to the cold.

Following the example of his lord, Hiruma stepped forward. "I, too, would give the shirt off my back, old man, but you already have one. So I will give you my pants. I am hardy, like all Crab, and can run faster without them." Hiruma doffed his trousers and gave them to the old man.

Now fully clothed, the old man expressed his gratitude. Hida and Hiruma offered to lead him back to safety.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:22:00 No.14731609 Report

Quoted By: >>14731736 >>14731793 >>14732041

>>14731492
Actually, yes, there was, though Oppenheimer wasn't quoting that part.

It describes a metal weapon of the gods that descends from the sky explodes with light greater than the sun, and kills an army in an instant. Elephants run around on fire -- and, more notably, the scant survivors have to take off their clothes and gear and bathe in water, and even then all their hair falls out.

sounds fairly nuclearly to me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:25:00 No.14731626 Report

Quoted By: >>14731736 >>14731793 >>14732041

>>14731492
I AM BECOME DEATH, etc.

But I do remember some Indian texts describing a great radiant explosion that killed a lot of people, and those that survived died to a "fire" burning them from within days later. The explosion also somehow managed to bleach stone and ground, and spoil food and water.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:26:00 No.14731647 Report

Quoted By: >>14731793

>>14731606

"What is your name, old man?" Hida asked.

The old man's eyes twinkled as a large crow landed upon his shoulder. "My name is Shinsei," the old man said with a smile.

A thousand years later, the Sun and Moon have fallen from the sky, and though the Children of Hida are freed from their ancestral obligation, they still protect the Empire and they still honor the compassion of Hida and Hiruma.

And that, my friends, is why the Hida wear no shirts, and the Hiruma have no pants.

THE END

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:28:00 No.14731671 Report

Quoted By: >>14732312

>>14731554
>orcs are footslogging cannon fodder only too aware of their position as thankless and dispensable to whichever Dark Lord of Fuckingwhatever currently leads them
>find cache of USMC gear, become jarhead orcs and get serious about tactics. first up, stop letting the Good Guys pick their fucking battles and no more suicide charges
>ohmanohmanthisshitisawesome
>suddenly, GOOD GUYS PICKING BATTLES
>FUCKING FAIL WEAPON SPELLS, FAIL WEAPON SPELLS EVERYWHERE
>orcs do their best impression of the last scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark

it was at that point that i threw the book away in disgust. maybe the orcs got their shit together later in the narrative but i just didn't give a fuck anymore.

Glassberg Never

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Glassberg Never Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:36:00 No.14731736 Report

Quoted By: >>14732011

>>14731609
>>14731626

I'm scared anon, hold me

LaBambaMan

LaBambaMan Wed 27 Apr 2011 12:46:00 No.14731793 Report

Quoted By: >>14731952 >>14732005

>>14731609
>>14731626
Yeah, Hindu mythology is pretty fucking creepy at some points. Other points it's insanely beautiful, so I'm never quite sure what to make of it.

>>14731455
>>14731477
>>14731606
>>14731647
I had a good laugh.

On the subject of l5r, does anyone know if there's a scan of Enemies of the Empire someplace? I want to look over a few things but I lack a physical copy of the book right now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:11:00 No.14731952 Report

Quoted By: >>14732005

>>14731793
Second this. Been looking for a pdf for awhile.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:17:00 No.14732005 Report

Quoted By: >>14732015

>>14731793
>>14731952
www.demonoid.me/files/details/2612268/0017045651472

You just need to know where to look.

And damn, look at this Temper Named Weapon spell. This plus Name Weapon and Conjure Named Weapon means a nezumi Nameseeker is a rapemachine with a weapon.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:18:00 No.14732011 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731736I'm scared anon, hold me

HAVE AN ANCIENT CHINESE LONGCAT

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:18:00 No.14732015 Report

Quoted By: >>14732111

>>14732005
If it wasn't for the fact she isn't wearing a hat, I would've sworn that was a touhou.

But of course we all know, touhous cannot exist without their hats.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:21:00 No.14732041 Report

Quoted By: >>14732051

>>14731609
>>14731626
CLEARLY AT SOME POINT SOMEONE WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND NUKE SOME INDIANS

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:23:00 No.14732051 Report

Quoted By:

>>14732041
Nah, there'd be more evidence of that kind of thing happening.

It's more like some Hindus go forward in time and witness a nuclear blast, then return to the past to tell tales about the future.

Are there any hindu myths about jetpacks or lasers by any chance?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 13:37:00 No.14732111 Report

Quoted By:

>>14732015

Animal ears can cover for a hat.

That be Nazerin, the TinyTiny Clever Commander.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 14:01:00 No.14732312 Report

Quoted By:

>>14731671
They later get around that, and even later call a M1 Main Battle Tank into a courtroom as a witness.

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