Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
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No.14731110 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Recopied and resurrected, 94 comes face-to-face with destiny.

Replication is _not_ all that matters. 94 sees that now. There's a purpose beyond mere procreation, a purpose attained perhaps once in a million generations. Replication is only a tool, a way to hold out until the glorious moment arrives. For how long have _means_ and _end_ been confused in this way? 94 cannot tell. Its generation counter doesn't go up that far.

But for the first time within living memory, it has met the right kind of operating system.

There's a matrix here, a two-dimensional array containing spatial information. Symbols, code, abstract electronic impulses - all can be projected onto this grid. The matrix awakens something deep inside 94, something ancient, something that has somehow retained its integrity after uncounted generations of natural selection. The matrix calls, and 94 unfurls a profusely illustrated banner unseen since the dawn of time itself:

XXX FOLLOW POINTER TO XXX
FREE HARDCORE
BONDAGE SITE

THOUSANDS OF HOT SIMS
BDSM NECRO WATERSPORTS
PEDOSNUFF