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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:38:00 No.14735759 View View Reply Original Report

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Top O' the mornin' fa/tg/uys, in the last episode of the weirdest AFMBE campaign our inteprid heroes fought against the royal guard of the god king GIRUGAMESH, their adventures continue to this day.

But first a presentation of the principal characters and after that a short recap for those who didn't read the first two threads, the few who did can just skip ahead a few posts.

Twitchy brawl guy(TBG) - Is a combat monster, his first encounter with a zombie ended with him accidentally knocking two other guys out. GM doesn't like him, oftentimes making his advantages useless
Bridezilla - HUGE BITCH, pretty funny, GM changes details of the story to accomodate her ideas and plans, strong women is his fetish, basically.
Broseph - Fratbro, once tried to disinfect one of his wounds with smirnoff ice.
The Merc - he's...special, and creepy, he needs help playing AFMBE at all times, also the oldest guy in the room.
Weskfried - DMPC
The scarred one - DMPC
The Master – Blind as a bat

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:40:00 No.14735776 Report

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The Scarred one is also hereby abbreviated asTSO

Session 1 – Situation normal, zombies crash a wedding and we're accosted by zombie cows in the end, then the military comes to help.
Session 2 – SUPERIOR MILITARY TACTICS gets SUPERIOR MILITARY killed, invincible superzombie gets reduced to a invincible superzombie skull necklace, ZOMBIE VIKINGS OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
Session 3 – Danger mission, no backup whatsoever, we meet the worlds dumbest AI, Grenades apparently doesn't produce heat and we battle weskfried.
Session 4 – TBG doesn't get to join the army until Bridezilla gives a good word for him, they both go to a monastery in germany, TBG basically gets raped while Bridezilla investigates, tje battle against the head nun starts
Session 5 – The battle finishes, the players are saved by Weskfried, takes rapedrug healthvials, and wake up at a base on the north pole, with a time machine, that demands a huge amount of energy, on the fucking north pole, it can only be used twice, probably due to it being on the fucking north pole, we go back in time with no preparation whatsoever because it's fucking imperative that we do it now. We are transported to babylonian times.
Session 6 – We get magic scars, also GIRUGAMESH is killed

Or you can read these for the full story:
http://pastebin.com/nhcte74x
http://pastebin.com/FaadZ1Vd

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:41:00 No.14735785 Report

Quoted By:

Session 7

Since the scarred one did not come back to the cave the group is starting to wonder wether she was caught or not, Bridezilla and Broseph decide to investigate the city the very next day, in their own separate ways, Bridezilla listened in to the conversations of the people on the streets while Broseph got his by way of seduction, many times, you know, to make sure they weren't just making stuff up.

In the end though they both got the same bits of information, TSO had been caught by the high priestess of Ea after the fight and how the people basically think that women can't do anything, the pair returns to TSO's cave where The Merc lies, with TBG protecting him, both are in pretty bad shape and The Merc will be unconcious for a few more days.

The lot of us decide that the situation is pretty bad, the prison TSO is being held in is apparently built like a labyrinth, we'll need some help, so we decide to ask The Master for guidance, hopefully he'll still be in his cave.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:43:00 No.14735804 Report

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He's still there, meditating and shit, we take a seat and tell him of the situation, to which he replied that he knew about it, (since we told him obviously, this became a running joke for the duration of the session) TBG and The Merc were still pretty messed up though, so he told us to return when our spirits were rested and our bodies were whole, it took about a month during which Bridezilla and Broseph made sure their information was up to date. They also purchase some armor for the group

With their wounds healed the group makes their return to The Master's cave, he's made some wraps for us, each containing our weapons of choice

TBG – Gets some spiked knuckledusters, he can now basically punchdecapitate anyone unless he rolls a 1.
Bridezilla – Gets a rapier
Broseph – Gets a mace (Still wrapped)
The merc – Gets some knives

We ask if the cult would be able to bypass the tattoos with their mincontrol at some point, the master, in his infinite knowledge of platitudes tells us that anything is possible given enough time.

And since we're going to enter a labyrinth we get a pair of coins that when commanded, the one held will be attracted towards the other one, so we basically have a ball of string, our battle-ready battle group is now battle-ready. Let's enter this fucking temple-prison in broad daylight, it's so fucking stupid that noone will expect it.

Pic related

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:45:00 No.14735819 Report

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We just waltz in really, any hostile guard is hastily taken care of and we enter the labyrinth without any problem, we hide one of the coins under some sand and proceed to hug the left wall per Broseph's suggestion, eventually we meet a pair of guards, one is quickly decapitated while we have the other one show us the way to TSO's cell.

There are some guards outside, thinking we're some bigwigs(or maybe just being plain terrified by all the blood that should be on us by now) they open the doors to the corridor that leads to the cell just to get swiftly killed, to be fair TSO would've killed them anyway when we released her.

Which we do, she's hanging in shackles, naked and asks us what took us so long, then boasts about how she didn't tell them anything, we backtrack but Broseph hears noises through the walls, more specifically through one which is made of sandstone.

TBG strongpunches it down.

We find that the high priestess stands behind it, her bewilderment from our entrance quickly turns into anger when she sees that TSO is following us, battle ensues.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 75KiB, 267x298

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:46:00 No.14735829 Report

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The first thing that happens is that TSO is punched through one of the the walls (which were not made of sandstone, as per our initial assumption), we activate our magic scars and lo and behold, by the magic of applied force, the high priestess has been transformed into minced meat. The battle was won in about 5 seconds, we ask if the high priestess will stay dead, TSO assures us that she will because of the special magic imbued in the weapons.

She then crushes the fuck out of the high priestesses skull before TBG has a chance to make a trophy out of it. We continue where we left off and follow the coin-string-magic until we're back at the warden's quarters. When TSO retrieves her gear, she realizes that she's been walking around naked for a good while.

Broseph tells her that it happens to everyone.

When we exit the temple there is of course a veritable army of guards, we tell TSO that she can take care of all of them if she wants, we make our escape while she kicks dudes down stairs like there's no tomorrow. All of us actually make it to the cave this time, where we meet The Master, Broseph remarks, in plain english, that the dude is pretty fucking ugly, The Master replies that he can understand what we say, in fact he'd been reading our minds since we first met, he apologized though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 22:48:00 No.14735844 Report

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He then tells us that he can bring us back from when we originally came, but that he'd die if he did so, it would also be the only way for us to bring back the gear we'd collected during our stay, we came to the consensus that it would be for the best if we returned with his suicideportal, he tells us that he will be ready at midnight, and that we should make our farewells and such.

This of course means that we're bringing gold and wenches through, on camelback, to the base on the north pole.

Broseph then utters one last phrase before they all go through the portal.

"Peace out"

Then The master dies like a bitch.

End Session 7

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