>>14746282CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON LEAVE.
BUT YES, OBVIOUSLY. LOOK, YOU GROW UP IN THE WOODS, PUBERTY'S, WHAT, 60 YEARS IN, BUT THEY DON'T LET YOU DO ANYTHING USEFUL FOR ANOTHER 80, SO YOU'VE GOT ALMOST A CENTURY TO SIT AROUND TRYING TO GET LAID BEFORE YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN THE GLORIOUS RACE WAR AGAINST GOBLINS.
WELL AFTER 8 YEARS YOU'VE FUCKED EVERYONE IN YOUR OWN VILLAGE, BY 20 YOU'VE FUCKED EVERYONE IN THE NEIGHBORING ONES TOO. THEN YOU'VE GOT TO START LOOKING AROUND FOR NEW BLOOD.
HIGH ELVES, THEY'RE NEARBY, THEY DON'T LOCK THEIR DOORS, THEY'VE GOT NOTHING GOING ON, SO YOU GET SEVEN OR EIGHT FRIENDS AND GO TO TOWN. BAM, THAT'S ANOTHER 10 YEARS TAKEN CARE OF RIGHT THERE, BUT THEN YOU'RE KIND OF IN A JIFFY.
AND THAT'S WHEN HUMANS COME ALONG. THANK GOD, IF YOU GET BORED OF THIS SET YOU CAN JUST HOLD YOUR BREATH AND WAIT FOR THIS GENERATION TO DIE OFF SO YOU CAN FUCK THEIR GRANDKIDS. IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE'S INTERNAL ANTI-BOREDOM DEVICE.