In another thread a couple GMs were sharing stupid in-game sex stories, so I thought I'd share mine.

My games don't usually involve sex. I try to give the players some freedom, so occasionally one will bring sex into the game, in which case I just fade to black and send it packing ASAP. The players are satisfied and I don't have to deal with it.

But one of my games had a real That Guy player. You know the kind of rogue player that sneaks behind the party all the time? He was one of those, except he was a combat class. This was a homebrew sci-fi/fantasy game, so he wasn't exactly a fighter, but it's the closest thing. Not a stealth class, no stealth skills, his sneaking never turned out well. But he did it anyway. This wasn't exactly a serious game, far from it, but it still always screwed the party over.

So That Guy and his friends are in the middle of a hostile faction's base. That Guy, as usual, sneaks off on his own. He ends up in the vents of the base, crawling around on his own. Here was where I made my first mistake. The first of many.

I wanted to show him why he shouldn't sneak around by himself like this, so I thought I'd put him in a funny, tense situation from which he could escape quickly and end up back with his friends. No harm, no foul, everyone lives and learns. So I have him fall through the vents and into the room of an elite female soldier, sleeping in the nude. Suffice it to say, she isn't happy to see him. He's got a gun in his face immediately.

>Me: So, what do you do?
>Him: Uh... I ask her if she wants to fuck.
>Me: ...Roll for it.