Alright /tg/ I remember about a year ago or so there were some stories about a barbarian named Wurg who liked murdering dragons. Could someone help me out? sup/tg/ turned up negative on both the character and the dude's trip.
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3/??
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>>19472487 That's one of my favourites
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Alright this is gonna end soon due to me overestimating how many of these I thought I had saved. My bad.
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Like I mean hilariously sooner than I thought it would. Premature ejaculation hilarious.
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>>19472754 5/??
dude, I just thought the same thing D:
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>>19472806 Well I guess we are just a pair of saps then aren't we? Well meaning, ill-prepared saps.
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Man I'm really scraping the bottom of my barrel here
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And that's all I got for you /tg/. I have failed you
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man I have a lot of threads but not as many as I thought where /tg/ related...
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and rather derailed, because WIZARD!
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You get ONE bump, OP.
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Have another bump, OP.
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/r/ing the story of all the monks in the tavern i think it was and they all try to impress eachother with martial arts moves n shit but end up rolling awfully and ruin the tavern
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Bump and vote for archival fa/tg/uys!
http://4chanarchive.org/ Anonymous
>>19474432 I'm sorry, I just figured this thread deserved to be archived as all.
I apologize if I did something wrong.
Also a quick story.
> Be a level 6 human cleric in a haunted mansion. > Separate from rest of the group (due to me leaving early that particular day) to find our missing dwarf barbarian. > See barbarian being carried off into adjacent forest by a large force. > Rush back to last place the party was last seen, nobody there. > Walk to the other end of the hallway (on the second floor of the mansion) when the walls begin to ooze blood. Anonymous
>>19474983 > Run down the stairs closest to me. > Notice the walls, stairs, and air seems to become more and more alive (like, as described to me, a mushroom like texture) the more I descend. > Suddenly hear a voice in the darkness calling out my name (which was, as described to me, similar to a voice of the legion). > Then, mansion is pulled up all around me into the sky > Realize I'm no longer in the world I was anymore. Anonymous
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>>19474983 We have our own non-shitty archive that automatically saves every thread.
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/ Anonymous
>>19472484 Ozzmar sounds like a fucking boss. I'd love to hear that story.
Anonymous
Anyone got the one with "the elves are killing each others in the hills and the forests"?
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>>19477386 Specifically, it compares them to the slavs, and describes the progress of human evolution while the elves are killing each other.
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>>19477386 Sorry, just took me a minute to find
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Aaaaand something similar
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ECL 15 game, party is hired to investigate a haunted mansion.
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>>19475199 Well it turns out I had one more story
Franjo !!BizucNGfbUm
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Croat here
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Picked these up a little while back, that thread made me laugh harder than I have in virtually forever.
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No Old Man Henderson?
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No, this thread cannot die! Post more awesome! Do eet, do eet nao!
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>>19475036 > The world I'm in is a cruel mockery of the world I knew. > The sky is red, filled with blood mist in the shapes of clouds, sending down black lightning which tears my character's arm apart and disenchants my "protection from evil" > A few feet away, I see an abomination laughing at me. > It's described as a hulking behemoth, covered in thousands of eyes, with a frame that shifts from water to spiders to snakes to fire... > It describes itself as anthropomorphic fear itself > Suddenly...I wake in a camp. > Everything before, my journey to self-redemption, my meeting with the party, me unknowingly being dragged to hell and confronted by a demon of my worse fears...all seems like a distant dream. > I leave my tent, arm myself with my mace and my armor, and follow my commanders as we confront a small crowd of heathens. Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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Let's see if I can't bump this epic shit...ah, this one's a goody.
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
Anonymous
>have typed my "powergaming druid faggot" story twice >never screencapped it >debating on if I should tell it again or not
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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So how about a never-falling Paladin that makes fallen Paladins jelly?
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>>19481880 I would like to hear the story
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Does anyone recall the thread where that anon told a story about his human merchant in some online freeform chatroom that was killed by an angry dragon-guy, and the merchant's son came back to kill pretty much the dragon-guy's entire race?
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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>>19481895 I agree. I'll keep bumping with what I have. Might break into HFY, if it gets REALLY slow.
Also, how this hasn't been posted yet, I really have no idea.
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>>19481863 Gets me every time.
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>>19481880 You could just put it in Word for easy copypasta.
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>Play War Master >give speech about no man left behind etc. before we go off to fight Austrian Orcs >Come across a siren in a lake. One person fails his save >The rest of the party is running away writing off that guy as a lost cause >I wake up, my attendant straps on my sword and gun belt >"Don't do it man you won't make it she'll kill you!" >Jump in anyway >Swim into the lake, grab the guy, swim with him back to shore. >We emerge from the water >"No man left behind."
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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>>19481929 Win.
Also, more dwarf shenanigans.
Anonymous
>>19481895 Well I have at least one taker, so I'll tell.
This my friends, is the story of my first, gaming group, whom I still play with (only been playing D&D seriously for a little over a year)
>join up with gf and her dad for his sunday game >he finds an add looking for people to play D&D with at the local game store >its on saturday, so its perfect >meet up with the guys >Mike. Smoker, gun enthusiast, practicing druid and that sarcastic nice guy >Troy, the bear with a heart of gold >Ryan, started out cool but becomes the future "that guy" (we'll get to that later) >and who was at the time, "that guy", Rob, who was quite literally borderline retarded Cont.
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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FOR GREAT, BLOODY JUSTICE!
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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Oh boy, it's Konrad.
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>>19482006 >pretty nervous but get into Ryans game pretty fast, having fun but one thing persists, Rob's antics >though its my first time playing other than a few one off campaigns a year prior, I could tell he had no idea what the fuck he was doing >was constantly slowing combat to a crawl with trying to call shots (which persisted for weeks, despite being told that we dont do called shots) and other shit >over the course of weeks, Rob is increasingly annoying, none of us really like him , and he angers the shit out of Mike >after halting combat at one point in the gf's dads game ( we had decided to alternate sundays at one point since Ryan wanted to play as well) for about a half hour, the group comes to a unanimous decision to kick him out >leaves without much fuss We thought the troubles were over, but had just fucking started.
Cont.
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Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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>>19482046 Herewego.jpg
Also, one of my favorites.
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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How about a revolution?
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I say, how could one forget the classy acts of Sir Bearington?!
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>>19482046 >not long after kicking Rob out, our Druid troubles start with Ryan >playing Chaotic Neutral (read as Chaotic Stupid) >uses that as an excuse to hide valid info from the party >tries to hide and take loot for himself when he finds it >begins slowing combat due to always arguing with the DM over spells Huge "that guy" moment!
>talking with Kobolds to get through their territory >at least 300 in the room alone >negotiations start at 1000 gold and some food form the local bar that we worked out >work it down to 200 gold and a nice pearl >group decided to not go into combat >ryan swigs a potion of hast >everyone freaks >"initiative" >nearly wipes all of the group but me (haha, gaseous form) when 500+ kobolds swarm >he leaves for a smoke break >DM brings the deal back up >"sure,we'll pay the 200!" >"you mean...the 1000" >I'm the only person with that much gold >have to pay it to live >outside of this, we notice that something isn't right >getting extremely high numbers on skill checks, even when rolling something like an 8 >everyone is suspicious but all hold their tongues. >fucker dies to a construct of a Beholder (death beam is a bitch) >seems okay with it and goes home to build a barbarian this is where it gets interesting
>take it upon myself to look up everything about his character >was lying about prices on equipment (saying a 10,000+ item was 2,000 and so on) >had an animal companion from a list his level didn't qualify for >calls Shea and bug (gf and her father) about his barb >says he rolled MAX HP (8 12's in a fucking row) and a ton of 18's and 16's on stats >discuss among ourselves to make him re-roll if he actually uses it Cont.
Naggarothian
It's been a long time since I namefagged or tripfagged, and I don't come here as often as I used to, but here I am.
I regret to inform OP that the campaign did not end happily, and though Wurg survived, his particular material plane was destroyed. In a game I DMed for the club the next year, just to feel what it was like to DM, I managed to work in Wurg as a background hero-deity. By some great coincidence, I started a thread on the subject today, the details of his ascension can be found here:
>>19481713 I believe I have told /tg/ about Wurg's greatest in-game accomplishment: the slaying of an Ancient Blue Dragon named Blaze. Not sure if I or anyone else screencapped it. What I have never told /tg/ about is his brief duel with Anti-Wurg, an elvish Paladin of Tyranny serving Tiamat. The circumstances under which we encountered him would take too long to explain, so I'll get straight to the duel itself: we both charged, using the Shock Trooper plus Leap Attack build to full effect, then used some weapon property which allowed us to get free bull rushes on each other. Separated, we charged again and both got critical hits. In the end, his higher critical multiplier and larger hitdice made Wurg the victor; he beheaded Anti-Wurg and survived being impaled upon his foe's greatsword.
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This may be 4e, but it's great all the same.
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>>19482199 Thankfully!
>bring up how OP he has made us in his own game >we are a bunch of lvl 8's with lvl 15 gear >his challenges have to match what we can dish out, but our HP cant take those kind of fights >ask him to let us re-roll with starting gear >"its okay guys, you only have like 2 more encounters" >after that we have a 3 week hiatus due to multiple things >he thinks we just want him out >never shows up again, assume he has been kicked out. In the end, we replaced his game with Mike running Beyond The Supernatural, which we are all having a blast with, and got his 60 something year old mother to play D&D with us.
Surprisingly, she's a great roleplayer and combatant. I have to say, although we went through all of this shit, I fucking love the friends I have made in this group.
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
>>19482229 What a classy ending. Good to hear things are going well for you.
In regards to my picture, not all Paladins get angry, but when they do, they do so righteously.
Anonymous
>>19482229 Good story man and I'm glad your having fun now.
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>>19482285 >>19482295 Glad to see some people enjoyed it!
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
While I'm talking about Paladins...
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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Oh god, this one is amazing.
Anonymous
>>19482204 Yesssssss that's the one I was looking for. I regret not being around for either the game or the recounting of it.
Thank you to all you fine gentlemen who kept this thread bumped
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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I have a lot of Paladin stories. Just going in order of my folder, though.
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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Enjoying the stories, are we?
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My previous! story, in handy dandy pasta form!
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This one is just plain frightening.
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Bricks are the best weapons ever.
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This guy is pretty cool, too.
Naggarothian
>>19482360 After looking around, I can confirm that I didn't save the recounting of Blaze's slaying. How foolish of me.
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The majority of these stories aren't really that good.
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Text is a bit blurry on this one, but with the right zoom, you can read it. Well worth the time, though.
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Time for a mindfuck, folks.
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Ah, good ol' Lamp. What a great guy.
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I'm a fan of irony, but goddamn.
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OH GOD, TWO FEET!
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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And now for something completely different.
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Second to last one before I run out of these, my friends. I might go for a bit to grab a bite to eat, though when I get back, would you be alright if I started posting some Human Fuck Yeah stuff?
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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Now, this one is more funny than anything, so it's a pretty good one to end on. I'll be back in a little while, hopefully. Here's to all the epic, less-than-epic, and even shitty moments that have occurred in role-playing history, eh?
Anonymous
Friend of mine wanted to try some "Cooperative World Building" after he heard about it in a podcast. The general idea is that the players each come up with gods, and take turns slowly shaping the world through three ages. I take up Nature, who I decide to portray as a chill-as-fuck lumberjack that chills out all day in his hammock and gets fed fruit by sexy dryad bitches.>Dragons all go berserk, start waging war on everyone >All the Eladrin wage war on their former human allies before vanishing mysteriously >Avatar is Madness gets stuck inside a city that can only be reached by setting off without a destination in mind >Nature makes two more avatars, a gigantic mountain made of ice that hangs out with the Yeti and chills all day, and a gigantic tree that hangs out with the treants and chills all day. >Rifts get torn inside the world, no one knows why. Nature starts getting annoyed >Death has turned a ten mile wide iceberg into a flying fortress of doom >Dragons go apeshit and attack every race. The Treants and Yeti kill the fuck out of them. The bird-people that Nature first made get almost entirely wiped out. >Nature gets his jimmies rustled.
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>>19482765 >Nature orders his turtle avatar to turn into a giant whale to save the bird people >Nature then gets out of his hammock, the skies rumble >Nature grabs his woodcutters axe that he always has. Calls it The Calamity Axe. It's a woodcutters axe with KALAMMITY written on it. >Nature looks down through the clouds and hits every major dragon settlement with a plague of scale rot. All of the dragons scales fall off. This goes on for 100 years. >Nature then hits the dragons with storms of salt, to cause the dragons horrible pain. This lasts another 100 years. >Nature finishes off the dragons with windstorms so large and powerful, that they pick up the dragons fallen scales and slice the dragons into pieces. This lasts 100 years. >Nature cleans up the area by incinerating the former dragon cities with storms of lava. This lasts 100 years and this kills the dragons. >Nature then screams through the clouds, "YA'LL BEST STOP THAT SHIT, BEFORE I GOTTA GET OUT MAH AXE AGAIN. I MADE YOU, I CAN UNMAKE YOU." >Nature goes back to his hammock and takes a nap. Anonymous
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>>19482329 That pic is missing the final post, though.
Epilogue is worth reading.
Anonymous
>>19482509 I know there were more stories involving Obed Marsh, do you have those screencapped?
Captain Keyes !7hkRu2iZOg
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>>19482941 I wish. Also, I won't be as active in here, but I'll check in now and again.
Anonymous
I failed to save them on the last story screencap thread I saw, so I gotta ask, can someone repost the LARPers tale featuring the insidious High Lord Ulcik and his eventual defeat?
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Is anyone actually going to archive this thread?
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>>19484213 Foolz will archive it but the images will go away eventually; sup/tg/ frown on these threads because every screencap is saved by dozens of us so we can always have another thread.
Anonymous
>>19483208 I have those images my boy and very glad to share some good cultcha with you.
part 1 of 7
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You sir are a scholar and a gentlebeing. May you always find a bacon sandwich when you require one.
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>>19485074 You are also a scholar and gentlebeing of considerable excellence. Thank you very much.
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Anyone got the story where the bard poses as a paladin that died years ago and swore to return when the world needed him most?
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>>19482534 I don't suppose I could get you to recount it?
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and then there's this thing
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How long does the foolz archive save images for? I looked at some images in there and i got a 4chan 404 link.
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>>19486382 bump for images.
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>>19486405 What? I was just going to bump for answers, but okay then...
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I find this obsession with making paladins fall disturbing.
Wata
>>19487209 It's a thing. A lot of Paladins play very poorly; using their alignment and the character's need for JUSTICE as an excuse to be that guy or be a different kind of dick than the usual breed. Or they just don't know how to RP. Either way, the Paladin's fall tends to be well deserved and satisfying for the rest of the party.
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>>19485831 That
was the best WoD story I've ever read
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>>19487209 you find their lack of faith disturbing?
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>>19489685 >>19487209 Having never played a Paladin, why is it that so many people seem to enigineer scenarios where the only outcome is the Paladin falling or simply make him fall for the slightest reasons?
DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY
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Oh God, I'm dying in here. Great thread, guys.
Anonymous
>>19489685 No, I find this trend of wanting to make a paladin lose their faith for no good reason other than "I want to" disturbing.
My immediate gut theory is not wanting any kind of embodiment of a moral standard, so as to claim that the standard is nonexistent, but I'd rather give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
>>19487441 Are you saying "paladins are boring characters" or "many people who choose paladins RP them badly"?
Anonymous
>>19491633 Sounds a lot like "he wouldn't let me be chaotic neutral all the time!" for the vast majority of people I hear complaining about Paladins.
In my 3.5 game, we want our Paladin to fall not because he's trying to enforce his ideals of LAW and GOOD on us, but because he's a derpy, hammy follower of Sir Bearington who we just want to shake until he stops moving.
Anonymous
>>19491651 Well that's ok. I'm glad it doesn't go deeper than that
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>>19491656 For some, it does.
I knew a guy who played a Paladin with a fall-lusting DM, once upon a time. Rather than allow it to happen, though, he opted to make everyone else in the party fall to sate his thirst for blood. This included a cleric, a druid, a warlock, and a psion... though the psion probably doesn't count due to the fact that it doesn't have an "ex-psion" status.
His fellow players raged like motherfuckers and swore revenge, only to realize the futility of it when he never played another Paladin.
