THE 1993 DRAFT OF STAR WARS: EPISODE 1

>ONLY OBI-WAN KENOBI, LITTLE TO NO QUI-GON JIN

>OBI-WAN PLAYED BY RALPH FUCKING FIENNES (VOLDEMORT FOR RETARDS WHO DON'T KNOW HIM.)

>OBI-WAN ACTUALLY MUCH OLDER, WISER, IN HIS MID TO LATE 30's.

>BEGINS WITH TRADE FEDERATION STAR
DESTROYERS CLEARLY BLOCKADING, DESTROY MERCHANT VESSEL WITH FAMILY INSIDE

>JAR-JAR MORE LIKE CHEWBACA, NOT ACTUALLY AN IDIOT, USEFUL, NOT A SIMPLE PLOY FOR KIDS, ONLY COWARDLY.

>NO POD-RACE SEQUENCE, FUCK NO TATOOIINE IN GENERAL

>ANAKIN A CHILD OF UTAPAU (NOT CALLED NABOO)

>ANAKIN NOT A KID, AT LEAST 13-16

>DARTH MAUL AN UGLY SHE-BITCH WITH WARTS AND RED-DREDS

>GUNGANS NOT FUCKING CHILDISH, ACTUALLY MORE ZEN BUDDHIST

>BATTLE DROIDS ROUND PEOPLE UP INTO PROCESSING PLANTS TO BE USED AS PROTEIN/RESOURCES

>MUCH MORE CLEAR THAT THERE IS AN UNDERGROUND NETWORK OF SITH THAT ARE PREPARING A COUP

>ANAKIN PLAYED MUCH MORE DOWN, PLAYED MORE LIKE LUKE, END BATTLE IS PARALLEL TO LUKE AND THE DEATH STAR, NOT "NOW THIS IS STAR-FIGHTING, BULLSHIT"

>NOT AS FUCKING OBNOXIOUS AS WHAT WE GOT

So, what do you say /tv/, would you give it a chance knowing what we got was shit?

I might have...I don't know, Jar Jar in general was a bad idea, but this draft was obviously superior to what we got, and only proves George Lucas went batshit insane and "cartoonified" everything around the time after he finished this draft. Probably because he surrounded himself with "yes-men".

How superior it was, we may never know, but holy shit does it sound better.

Fucking Lucas ruins everything.