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>be working shift in guardhouse
>guardhouse is 20x20 and has bathroom accomodations
>buddy uses bathroom
>I wait 10mins after he is done before I go in
>lift seat, smiling back at me is the tick tock croc turd
>cannot into flush, water danger close to rim
>retreat, tell buddy, he laughs, refuses to clear it. States maintenance can take care of it
>do not want maintenance to face this atrocity. Also have contractors and visitors come thru that may need to use toilet
>enter the bathroom, water level lower, turd still stuck in bottom of toilet
>plunger atttempt #1...fail
>plunger attempt #2...fail
>plunger attempt #3...breaks turd up, half to the top, half to the bottom
>flush, half flushes, the other broken half is floating around the bowl
>remnant is the size and shape of a coke can, will not fit down toilet hole when flushed and keeps popping back up
>buddy is outside laughing, female on duty with us is half laughing half gagging
>get wire coat hanger, untwist
>time to make this back alley abortion disappear
>skewer turd, have to flip plunger around use like dirty chopsticks to break up the challenger
>I break the krakens back
>worst bog swamp smell ever come wafting up from breeched turd, like 2 week old chinese food set to ferment inside a whores crotch
>in between tears and dry heaving, manage to flush
>monster slips quietly and gracefully below the surface, away and into sewer to it rightful home
>exit bathroom, buddy laughing, threaten him with shitty end of plunger
>next time he does it, he will go down the toilet with the turd