/k/ - Weapons » Thread #11433589

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Anonymous !q5Gl/BJ9aY Sat 21 Apr 2012 03:10:00 No.11433589 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Ask a Colonial Marine anything.

And no, I didn't serve with this fucker in his chicken shit unit

Drake !srMCyCxCQM

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Drake !srMCyCxCQM Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:19:00 No.11434126 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434080
Times have changed. Seems like a lifetime ago now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:20:00 No.11434133 Report

Quoted By:

This is the part of show where Larry comes out and posts a link to the archive.

Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:20:00 No.11434138 Report

Quoted By:

FUCK THIS SHIT!

We're popping smoke! Fuck this perimeter!

Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:23:00 No.11434152 Report

Quoted By: >>11434159

>>11434117
Dude, he's fucking invisible!

Papulu !dCodef2d72

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:24:00 No.11434159 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434152
STOP TYPING AND START SHOOTING!
AMMO'S CHEAP! YOUR ASS ISN'T!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:28:00 No.11434177 Report

Quoted By:

inb4 GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER!

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Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:28:00 No.11434178 Report

Quoted By: >>11434185 >>11434202

Okay, we're in a new hardpoint, we can breathe a bit. What the fuck was that thing?!
...Oh, shit.

...Guys, I think I need to get back to you.

...Here's a pic of our new OP. I think we may need to move, again...

Papulu !dCodef2d72

Papulu !dCodef2d72 Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:29:00 No.11434185 Report

Quoted By: >>11434194

>>11434178
Welp he's three kinds of fucked.
Glad to have known you leatherneck.

Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:31:00 No.11434194 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434185
We. are. LEAVING!

I'll try to reestablish comms as soon as I can! If I don't make it out, tell my family Hudson's a bitch!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:33:00 No.11434202 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434178
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:40:00 No.11434245 Report

Quoted By:

i raged that ripley would refuse to use any guns in alien3. Fucking dumb cunt.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 04:51:00 No.11434321 Report

Quoted By: >>11435128

How many men are left in your unit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 05:19:00 No.11434493 Report

Quoted By: >>11434947

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

vote to archive this shit

just copy paste the url into the link above

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 05:58:00 No.11434947 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434493
Bumping for this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 05:59:00 No.11434963 Report

Quoted By:

OP is a fucking scrub.

ask a Korari vet anything. smartgunner.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:03:00 No.11434995 Report

Quoted By: >>11435128

...over here.

Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:06:00 No.11435017 Report

Quoted By:

Ahhh, shit, dude. We made it, but just barely. We fuckin' popped smoke and got out of there before those fuckers hatched, but now we got xenos!

We're on a movement to a bigass metal tower in the distance. Some squids popped up on the net, said they were holed up there. I'll get back to you when we get there.

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Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:11:00 No.11435063 Report

Quoted By:

Well, isn't this just fuckin' precious. Look at the logo on the side of the tower.

I'll get back to you, we're about to breach.

Colonial Marine

Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:19:00 No.11435128 Report

Quoted By:

Alright, gents, things seem to be pretty calm right now, and we've got auto turrets up, I'm game to answer some more questions.
>>11434995
Oh, hell naw. I ain't falling for that shit!
>>11434321
We lost 3 guys to that fucker with the long fingernails and dreds. That crazy cunt came out of nowhere, man!

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7 Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:21:00 No.11435138 Report

Quoted By: >>11435159

alright marine, let's hear about this famous Lt. Ripley. Was she really the hot shit with the exoskeleton, or is that gay-ass scuttlebutt?

Colonial Marine

Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:23:00 No.11435159 Report

Quoted By: >>11435173

>>11435138
She wasn't all that bad. She did take out a xeno queen with one, after all.

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7 Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:25:00 No.11435173 Report

Quoted By: >>11435203

>>11435159
I see. What about Vasquez? I heard she once seduced an entire platoon - men, women and artificial people alike. Shame she was KIA, the story goes that her pussy was like a vice.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:26:00 No.11435179 Report

Quoted By:

>>11434088
MI have powerarmour, CM have hockeypads.

Colonial Marine

Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:28:00 No.11435203 Report

Quoted By: >>11435239

>>11435173
Let me tell you about Vasquez's fuckin' vagina. You could park a goddamn destroyer in that thing and still have room for a power loader.

I really don't get people, sometimes. They don't ever want to talk shit about the dead, because it's disrespectful or some shit, but come on! Vasquez had a pussy you could get lost in! When she opened her legs it looked like I was going into a xeno hive!

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7

Vague Englishman !!WCSrCc9K5s7 Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:31:00 No.11435239 Report

Quoted By: >>11435263

>>11435203
so you jammed it in (or rather, placed it in)? Noice.
How many artificial people are there in your outift? I'd've thought they'd make good snipers - you know, seeing as they never miss.

Colonial Marine

Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:34:00 No.11435263 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435239
Well, we had one set up as a marksman. He got blown the fuck in two by dickbreath up there with the shoulder thing that goes up. We've put the top half up at the top of the tower and gave him some extra ammo.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:38:00 No.11435317 Report

Quoted By: >>11435327 >>11435374

so i take you've all heard those myths about the smartgun from Kori. guess what. they're absolutely true. the one they handed me was one bitch of a kind. it wasn't jammy, thank the gods, but the fucking thing was just... messed up.

you know every smartgun has a spread switch. it tells the gun to handle the recoil a certain way to suppress better. thing is, it was never meant to be set that way because with the kind of accuracy it has the riflemen do all the suppression while we aimbot the shit out of any enemy past a deca.

well, turns out we started having to use it when the beebops figured out how to make chaff. it was just better to tell the gun to hose in the general direction. that's when it started to get weird. with the perfected aim on, the smartgun has virtually no spread. every bullet enters and exit by the same hole. but with the spread, the gun computer has to invent an appropiate pattern, a "fire solution" in layman's. every gun has it's favorite fire solution to face radiovisual interferance. a buddy had one that wrote zorros and zig zags. another had one that made cruxifices. well, mine was... problematic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:39:00 No.11435327 Report

Quoted By: >>11435374

>>11435317

the gun shot four in a diamond then the arm just yanked the fucking thing off me so hard to the right i lost balance and fell on my face. almost died like that. the technic told me the gun had autoselected a new target when the one i had locked turned out to be dead already, but after the fourth time i realized it was aiming at an specific heading. the northwest. always the northwest. i look up the full file back in the ship and i find that the specific gun was built in an Armat global defence factory in Nevada. now hear this: the gun left earth from the orbital guard spaceport located at the exact south east of the factory. in those factories the guns test locking, tracking and fire around 10.000 rounds before being shipped out. my best guess, as stupid as it sounds is that the gun remembers it missed a target once. it wants to finish it's 100% score.

at that point we were getting software to counter the chaff thing so we could go back to the normal aiming mode but the war was pretty much over and we were handing our stuff back. so yeah. that's my story. i had a haunted gun.

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:44:00 No.11435374 Report

Quoted By: >>11435444

>>11435327
>>11435317
Shit, dude, I always knew there was something wrong with the damn things.

Alright, what the fuck. Motion sensor is pinging.

...I hope I'm reading this wrong.

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:47:00 No.11435408 Report

Quoted By: >>11435444

FUCK! I read it right!

Jesus Christ, they're coming out of the walls!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:52:00 No.11435444 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435374

lower your pulse rate. trust me, the slower the pulses go, the less junk feedback you get. the trick is having two of them working between eachother's pulses. it's like a goddamn x-ray.

hey, ever soaked a xeno in napalm before turning the pilot of the flamer on? it's fucking hilarious. they run around like cats. my nigga bobby actually tripped one down.

>>11435408

ah, it's just a fintail. fuckers are dumb as shit compared to the purer breeds. don' worry, just bottleneck them. their blood isn't as acid so they'll pile up pretty quick.

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:52:00 No.11435447 Report

Quoted By:

Fuck it, we're popping smoke again!

SHIT, RASTA'S BACK!

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:55:00 No.11435478 Report

Quoted By: >>11435518

Alright, gents, we've moved deeper into the compound. We've got good sightlines, and every avenue of approach is covered. We should be fine, even if Rasta boy comes over and...
...well, fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 06:58:00 No.11435518 Report

Quoted By: >>11435549

>>11435478

dude, stop posting on 4chan in the middle of of a fight, my sarge would have shoved that cellphone up your dickhole if he caught you doing this.

Colonial Marine

Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:01:00 No.11435549 Report

Quoted By: >>11435571

>>11435518
Oh, Sarge, eh? Ya wanna know about my sargent?! Sarge is fuckin' DEAD, dude! He's FUCKIN' DEAD!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:02:00 No.11435571 Report

Quoted By: >>11435607

>>11435549

sounds like are too.

just asking, is your throat sore?

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:06:00 No.11435607 Report

Quoted By: >>11435652

>>11435571
Hold on, dude.

This shit, well, it just got real.

Look who we found.

This is fuckin' sweet shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:11:00 No.11435652 Report

Quoted By: >>11435668

>>11435607

well, it sounds like you're in for a session of BDSM.

well, nice meeting you. remember to keep a grenade glued to your hand.

Colonial Marine

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Colonial Marine Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:12:00 No.11435656 Report

Quoted By: >>11435705

Gents, this is it. We're on our last mags, Rasta boy is on one side, the queen bitch is on the other, and a whole mess of xenos, including freakazoid up there, in the middle.

This may be our only shot. They're going to town on eachother, and we're suddenly not on the menu. We're not letting our chance go by. We're making a beeline for a dropship, and we're flying to somewhere other than here. At least, that's the plan.

If we die today, I just want to let you all know it was an honor. And that Hudson always has been, and always will be, a bitch.

Wish us luck.

END TRANSMISSION

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:13:00 No.11435668 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435652

>well, twice

fuck i'm wasted

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:17:00 No.11435705 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435656
If I don't see you again in another thread some day, I'm building a freaking memorial.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:18:00 No.11435709 Report

Quoted By: >>11435776

How are you homosexuals enjoying your shitty 10mm plastic sub-gun? You have the nerve to call THAT thing a pulse rifle?

Pic related, the true pulse rifle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:24:00 No.11435776 Report

Quoted By: >>11435837 >>11435878

>>11435709
>takes multiple rounds to kill an unarmored human
>wildly inaccurate, even when used by professional soldiers
>bulkier, and probably heavier, than most machine guns
>calls it an effective weapon
At least the M41A kills what you point it at most of the time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:28:00 No.11435828 Report

Quoted By:

Who's Snow White?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:29:00 No.11435837 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435776
Its "grenade" is pretty damn effective, though.
Especially in narrow corridors and tunnels.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 07:32:00 No.11435878 Report

Quoted By: >>11436258

>>11435776

>inaccurate

you spray that shit on full auto, don't you

>multiple hits to kill unarmored human

most of the rebels stole metro cop armor, if you look closely

>bulky

see, i can take the ball-shooter off, and also take off a few pounds of weight, but you're still stuck with the plastic shell around your glorified armor-piercing tommy gun

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 08:18:00 No.11436258 Report

Quoted By:

>>11435878
>you spray that shit on full auto, don't you
>implying that's not how everybody in the game including elite spec ops handles it

>see, i can take the ball-shooter off, and also take off a few pounds of weight,
And it'd still be bulkier than the M41A because dat magazine.
>but you're still stuck with the plastic shell around your glorified armor-piercing tommy gun
Pop off shotgun, gun is now four pounds lighter.

You keep whining while I enjoy my 100-round magazines, controllable automatic fire and ability to move indoors without repeatedly banging the protruding magazine against every corner.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 08:32:00 No.11436356 Report

Quoted By:

HEY VASQUEZ, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MISTAKEN FOR OP?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 08:41:00 No.11436438 Report

Quoted By:

y are you such a faggot

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Apr 2012 08:44:00 No.11436461 Report

Quoted By:

Where are the squids with your air support?

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