Anonymous
I KNOW I KNOW! WE END UP IN EQUESTRIA RIGHT???
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
OHH are you the guy who wrote the fic with the smoke grenades?! I want more
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>490701 >I don't know exactly how long I've been trapped >I'm not even sure how I got here in the first place >I just woke up here >Floating in darkness >I would just move straight ahead, observing the emptiness around me >Small lights in the distance, but to far to get to >And all the while, something is watching >It's alive, but it's not a creature >It's a force Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>>490815 >I'm in a forest now >Or at least a poor imitation of one >There was no transition from darkness to nature >They just appear >The sky, the grass, everything around me is fake, like a crude cut out >The thing is playing with me again >I don't know if it's trying to trick me, or making fun of me >I just need to keep walking >The trees turn towards me as I walk >The shake, as if they are about to fall apart >They always fall apart >Soon, I'm back in the darkness >No transition >Just darkness Anonymous
Quoted By:
i require MORE
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>490701 >This force, shadow, whatever it is, has powers >It can shape this darkness into whatever it wants >The others can too >They are like clouds, floating consensuses in the bodies of smoke >They will speed by my, heading towards far off lights >They leave behind floating islands, frozen landscapes, endless deserts >Those are much more real then the shadow's imitations >But soon enough, the land melts into a sea of darkness >Either that, or the disgusting cut outs I'm forced to walk through Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>491193 Awaiting point...
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>I come across a crack >Not the same one as before >I can feel a fierce wind blowing around it >I try to move closer, but the winds are growing stronger, making it harder to move >I can hear a screeching in the back of my head >I can catch a glimpse of what's inside >An ocean >Suddenly, I'm pushed away from the crack >The wind is angry >I should go now >As I leave, I start to think >These cracks, do they lead to new worlds, or are they just windows? >And if they are other worlds, then what is this place? >Is it another dimension, or some sort of place in between worlds? >I shouldn't think about this kind of stuff, it will mess with my head >I need as much sanity as I can have
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>491399 It's obviously the Cosmic Interstate, backbone of the multiverse
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>491399 >I see it >The crack from before >I move as fast as I can towards it >I can see real trees, real grass, the actual sun >I'm closer then I have ever been before >I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, the shadow will just take me away, but I can't help it >I don't care if this isn't my home, it's a way out >I touch my hand against the crack >Light flashes before my eyes >I see everything >It's strange and confusing >I don't know what's going on, but at the same time I do >The birth of a world, the creation of a civilization, a battle of two great power >But before I can see anything else, I feel the shadow grab me >It's upset >Darkness blurs my vision >I'm being smothered >I can't breath >I can only see a small shine of light >I can't go back empty handed >This all can't be another trick >I need something, something to prove I'm making progress >My hand is being pulled away from the crack's surface >I can sense something coming out >An outline >And soon, everything is dark Anonymous
>>491585 >ITT: the mind of derpy Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>>491585 >I'm floating again >Empty handed >I don't know if I should go back to the crack >I'll just be pulled away again >But I saw something, and I want to see more >I see an object in the distance >A large flat rock >I float towards it >There's something moving on it >As I move closer and closer, I can see more details >It's purple >It's on all fours >It's a horse Anonymous
Quoted By:
shit OP where did you go?
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>I land on the stone, looking at the creature >It's a unicorn, nervously looking over the edge of the stone >This has to be some sort of joke >"Um...what" >It turns towards me >"Wha- who are you?" >And it talks >Just wonderful >"What are you doing here?" I ask the horse >"I don't know!" >If this is another trick from the shadow, it's a weird one
Anonymous
>>490724 FUCKING CALLED IT!!!
Anonymous
>>492081 >Story in /mlp/ "I bet it's mlp related"
no shit sherlock
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>492134 Do I get a prize?
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>I walk away from the unicorn >"Wait! You're going to leave me here?" >I look up >"Nice try, but I'm not falling for it" >I jump off the rock >I start floating away >"No, wait, you can't just leave me here" >I look back, and see her run towards me >She jumps off the rock, and slowly floats towards me >She looks down, and realizes she's floating >She looks confused, but fascinated >"Who exactly are you?" I say to the horse >"Oh, I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm sorry, but I just need to know, where are we?" >"I wish I knew"
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>492299 >We're in a field >A fake one, of course >Twilight looks around, noticing something is off >"Trust me, you'll get used to this feeling" >"I don't even know what's going on, but it sure is fascinating" >Her horn glows, and a patch of the grass is ripped off >She uses magic? >"I need to study this when I get home" >I stay quiet, I shouldn't crush her hopes of getting back to her world >The unicorn drops the grass, and looks blankly forward >"Do you see that?" >Something is walking towards us >It looks like a human, but different >A grey, hairless body, creeping towards us >I back away, but Twilight stays still >She's observing it >Suddenly, it breaks off into a sprint, growling like an animal >A strange glow surrounds its body, and it's pulled right into the air >The unicorn moves around it, studying it >The field begins to shake >It's falling apart >But it's not like before, I'm not just being put into darkness >The ground is collapsing on itself >The unicorn looses control, and drops the creature >It lunges towards her, and begins to rip at her skin >Suddenly, it falls to the ground, and shatters like glass >We are thrown into darkness Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
Sorry I'm taking long to continue the story
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
You know, feel free to keep this thread alive when I'm not posting...just saying
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>493006 >begins to rip at her skin Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>I can see the crack in the distance >It will take time before we get their >The unicorn is holding her side with a hoof >"Are you alright?" >She looks up, a small look of pain on her face >"Yeah, I think so. It just burns a little" >We float silently for a bit >Bored >"Hey, um, that monster was kind of weird, right?" >She doesn't respond, still holding onto her wound >Awkward silence >I take this time to think about what happened at the crack >The visions I saw >"Hey Twilight...tell me about your world"
Anonymous
Quoted By:
last bump from me. need sleep. please thread, be here later today
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>490701 Awwww shit, it's this guy again. Monitoring the thread like a mofo
Anonymous
>>493006 I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>Twilight tells me about what her world is like >Ponies, pegesi, griffons, all that weird stuff >and the odd thing is, it seems reasonable to me >"Hey, Twilight...I think I know why you're here" >I remember touching the crack, being pulled away, into the darkness >I wanted to have something, proof I was making progress >I think I brought Twilight here >and if things kept going on like this, she'll be trapped here forever >"So, why am I here?" >I think for a bit >"Never mind, it's not important," I tell her >"No, I insist, tell me. Any ideas should be helpful" >"Don't worry. All you need to know is that I'm getting you home"
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>We're in a new place >An imitation of a town >I think >It's like being in a sketch of a town >The houses are shaking, made of lines that seem to move towards us >"Just keep walking and we'll be fin-" >The street is full of those grey people >They lumber towards us, their bodies are shaking like the line houses >Twilight grimaces in pain, holding her wound again >I look for anything to defend us with >Nothing >As the creatures approach, my vision begins to blur >I need to fight them off >I can see the creatures being flung away by magic, but it all looks like different blurs of color >I look around, I can see the lines of the houses moving towards me >A line breaks off, and speeds towards my hand >No time to think, a grey is running right towards me >I slam it with the line, it shatters >My vision clears up >I turn to Twilight, she's running away from the others >I run over and slam the line into nearby creatures >I haven't felt this empowered in a long time >The world suddenly falls apart >The remaining greys are floating off into the distance >Twilight looks a little weaker
Anonymous
FINISH IT YOU FUCKER!!!!!!!
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>>494905 I'll probably post some more tonight, but I doubt I will finish it.
Hopefully this thread won't die by the morning
Anonymous
Smoke, you should really write the ending to these stories before you post them. Also, hows progress on the wanderer?
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>495114 I already got an ending, but for stories like this, I like to fill in the details as I go along.
And I'm contemplating what to do with The Wanderer story. I don't know if I should change it into an actual story format, or post it somewhere in the greentext form, as it has an interesting feel to it.
Chroniclerfag
Quoted By:
Oh boy. New fiction thread? Hmm... Please tell me it's so.
Anonymous
>>495266 >>495266 Leave it in greentext, though you may want to remove the >'s
Outside of 4chan, those would just be odd. Keep up the good work, Smokie!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>495489 There should be a syntax highlighting entry for pastebin that supports greentext and spoiler
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>The crack >It's so close >Twilight is more sickly then before >Maybe this time, if I can't get out of here myself, at least I can get her home >Hopefully the shadow won't stop me >As I approach the crack, a strange feeling overwhelms me >I can sense the other world, I can see others in there >Twilight looks up at me >"Thank you" >She places her hoof on the crack >Suddenly, a black tendril stabs right into the unicorn >She is pulled away >Shocked, I can only look on in horror >She is unable to pull herself away >Out of the darkness, the greys appear, and swarm Twilight >Twilight stops screaming >I need to do something >I float towards her, and push my way past the greys >They don't attack me, and they stop attacking Twilight >I can't let this happen, I won't let her die because of me >I pull at the tendril, but it won't come out >It seems to stretch for eternity >Twilight's skin is becoming paler >She won't speak >I don't understand, the shadow was cruel, but it never did anything like this >"Stop it! Leave her alone!" >Twilight turns to me >She speaks, her voice is deep, otherworldly >"Vessel" >Twilight shatters before me >Just like the greys
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Bump to offset the for oh for. Also, lol, I guess pic is related
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Bumping in hopes of keeping this thread up till the morning.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
bumping to keep this thread alive
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
This is now a "Pinkie Pie breaking the 4th wall" thread until the story resumes.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
One last bump before I go to bed. This anon hopes this thread can make it to Sunday morning as I'll be out of town.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Have another bump. I'm off to play vidya
Anonymous
Quoted By:
This story is too good not to be finished
Anonymous
Shepard
Quoted By:
holy shat. i request more
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>The greys sink back into the darkness >I need to get back to the crack >It's the only thing I can do >I hold my head, it aches now >I don't know what to think >One minute she was here, and the next she's gone >She just fell apart, like those monsters >And if the greys are made by the shadow, was Twilight fake the whole time? >That must have been it, it was all another trick >I'm in hell >But what if she was real, and I just killed her >Then it's all my fault >I'm a murderer >I move towards the crack >It's the only thing I have left
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
bump. Come on man, I need to know the end of the story
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>I place my hand on the crack's surface >I'm immediately rushed over by the blinding light >The visions return >I can see more now, it's hard to understand, but I see more >I can see others >For a second, I ask myself if I should take another one out >No, I can't. One of them is dead because of me >I took something from them >I want to give something back >I can see a human outline walk through the light >I feel much weaker now >Am I going in? Am I leaving? >The shadow quickly envelops me >It's furious >It speaks with its booming, otherworldly voice >"No" >I am back in the darkness >But not all of me is back
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>Something has happened >My body feels empty, not all there >It's like I'm walking on a tight rope >I can hear things >Voices >Thoughts >"I could make anything for you, and you want to leave me?" >I move, as if I'm running away from the voice >I feel strange, I'm moving faster, more fluidly >"Stop now! Just stop running from me" >I'm going back to the crack, and nothing is going to stop me
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>I know where I am now >Or where it wants me to be >It's a place called Ponyville >Faint black lines create the world around me >Ponies are walking around, but they look as if they could fall apart any second from now >"Heeeeeeeelllooooo, I'm Twiiiiiiiliiiggghht" >An imitation of the unicorn is in front of me, eyes blackened, skin grey >I want to destroy it >My mind is different now >I can see things differently know >I'm on the ground, but I can see things from above >I force the ground below the imitation to collapse >Fake Twilight falls through, floating away through darkness >"I don't like what's happening to you", says the shadow >I force the imitation ponyville to collapse on itself >"I don't like it one bit"
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
OMG, WANT MORE!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
These greys somehow remind me of the Antispirals from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>One of the mists comes towards me >A cloud of sand >It has no eyes, but I know it's looking towards me >"Another..." >If flies off, leaving a desert behind it >I move across the sand, almost flying >A long time passes >The sand stretches on forever >The sand hasn't melted into darkness >"You won't leave here, I won't let you" >Is this a new strategy? >Is it trying to torture me? >Or is it trying to stop me?
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>As I glide through the sand, I can feel myself changing >I'm not a human anymore >But I'm not a mist, at least not yet >I'm something in between >My vision has expanded >I can see outside my body >Sometimes I wonder if my physical form is still a part of me >I remember the crack >The outline that I saw >Did I give up my physical form? >But then what was the outline I saw before that? >I look up >I move up >I'm flying now >A sandy smoke follows behind me >Pretty soon, I won't be anything like a person >I'm scared
Anonymous
Quoted By:
to bump and to summarize what i think of this story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN300PeKD3c Do continue, captcha demands it: speak asmenten
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>I can see the faint glow of the crack in the distance >I'll be there soon >The shadow won't stop me >But it will try >Greys flow out of the darkness, flinging themselves towards me >Right when they enter the cloud that surrounds me, they slow down, ache in pain >I pick one out, and force the smoke into its body >I am pulled along with it, and the next thing I know, I'm seeing the world through a grey's eyes >I move my vision over to another grey >I can command them to do whatever I want, move them with my will, make them into my personal army >It's empowering and strange >But soon, I'm forced out of their bodies >The break apart into shards of darkness >I can defeat the greys with ease now >They are hollow, easy to control, but still creations of the shadow >I remember the first outline from the crack >Was Twilight hollow too? Is that why she shattered? Did I really bring her here, or was it just a shell? >And if the darkness could control her outline, I could control my own outline.
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>Closer to the crack now, mists have begun following me >Many of them are made up of different elements, and others made of strange forces, hard to describe >I can hear their thoughts >"It's going to open the gate" >"It's not even its home" >"I am going to love seeing what it does there" >I can feel the shadow's anger >I think I understand what it wants now >It hates seeing me like this, like one of the mists >It wants me for itself, it wants something physical, something it didn't need to make >My transformation is taking that away from him >The darkness around me seems to shake, poorly made landscapes surround me, but the forces of the mist would quickly destroy them >I doubt they will help me through the crack, they are only amused by my actions >But at least they make traveling more entertaining, watching the worlds fall apart in an explosion of fire, ice, wind, stone
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>I'm at the crack now >The mists have dispersed >I knew they wouldn't help me here >As I near the crack, my vision starts to blur >"Stop now, you don't want to do this" >I place my hands on the crack >Black Tendrils surround me >They wrap around each other, forming a ball of tendrils >I am unable to phase through them >"If you leave, you will be something different, something you don't want to be" >Visions of destruction, death, and misery flash before me >Dead ponies everywhere >"Innocents will die because of you" >I push myself against the tendrils >"You're lying! I'm not your plaything! I am leaving now!" >The tendrils won't budge >6 ponies appear before my eyes, dead, covered with sand >Twilight is among them >"No! I won't stay!" >I flood the cage with sand, and burst out >I'm leaving
Anonymous
Anonymous
Soooo, that was the ending? That'd be... weird. Bump anyway
Anonymous
>>510632 Too deep for you?
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>My hands are on the crack now >They aren't hands anymore, really, more like concentrations of dust >I can see this place >Equestria >I see great things >I see myself >Or at least my outline >And I can see other ponies >And Twilight >I see so many things >Past, present, future >I can see everything >Past, present, and future >I don't like the future I see >It's always hard to understand, but the future does not look bright >I can't stay in this place, I must open the crack >I don't know what will happen, but if I hurt anyone, I don't mean it >I break the crack open >I go inside
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Well, that's the end of that I'll be open for any questions, comments, ideas, theories, whatever Hope you liked the story, I enjoyed writing it and reading your reactions
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>511069 You're right
It's more of a spiritual addition to my last work here, which was much more pony related
Anonymous
Do you have a title for this?
Anonymous
type the entire story and then post it to fimfiction or something op this is taking forever
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>511329 It's done now anyway, if you're just looking to get the end.
Anonymous
>>510991 DONT STOP
serious, how can you stop there??
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
Quoted By:
>>511408 The story isn't finished here, per-say
Like I said in
>>511128 It's actually more of an addition to another story I wrote. It got some pretty positive reviews, but I haven't really put it anywhere yet. I probably will though, after I edit some of the spelling and such
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>511228 No title as of now
But I'll probably come up with one eventually
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>512127 HOLD UP is this like you are the mist from the last fic that is killing the ponies?
Anonymous
>>513901 Which .MOV is that from?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0
>>513901 Mmmmmm
perhaps...
Anonymous
>>514878 BOOM! Dat shit be da beastest.
Smokegrenade !!VAPSmsbZaT0