/o/ - Auto » Thread #5383788

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RAiNBOWRANGER !OjFaX5I3po Mon 10 Oct 2011 19:48:00 No.5383788 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Stupid people thread

More stories from my autoretarded mother!!!

>Today
>Go to wash my car
>Car wash is about a kilometer away from where I live
>Wash it up and whatnot
>Come home and my mom says
>>"THERE'S SOMETHING DRIPPING FROM YOUR CAR!!!!!"
>"Well, I did just wash my car, it's water."
>>"NARP, IT'S OIL, SEE IT'S BLACK!"
>"Mom, touch it." I can clearly see that it's water
>>"OIL IS BAD FOR YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T TOUCH IT!!!"
>At this point I touch it and show her it's water
>>"WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THERE'S WATER, BUT THERE'S OIL TOO!"
>I facepalm and get my dad and he says
>>>"That's water, stop being stupid."

She's butthurt and won't talk to me now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:06:00 No.5389130 Report

Quoted By:

>>5388740
>I'm 26 and live in the u.s. I pay 552.74 a year for 2 cars on liability, fuck yeh that combined homeowners discount.

S190 !!NX7/ukO3nkU

S190 !!NX7/ukO3nkU Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:16:00 No.5389180 Report

Quoted By:

>>5383928
>The only thing I haven't learned and done myself is bore and stroke.

You need a machine for that.

S190 !!NX7/ukO3nkU

S190 !!NX7/ukO3nkU Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:24:00 No.5389230 Report

Quoted By: >>5403361

>Waiting at home, shop calls.
>"Your car is ready"
>It's an E30. Cracked head, don't have all goddamn day.
>Ask mom to come with me to pick it up
>Take her 2002 Saturn SC2
>Long straight.
>She's textin, not paying attn
>Floor it
>Was at 25 Mph, now at 40 after having it jammed to the floor for about 5-6 seconds
>WATDAFUCKRUDOIN!?!?
>*trollface* nothing.
>YOU COULD'VE GOT US KILLED
>Arrive at the shop,
>Pick up E30
>She says "I'm driving your car home after that little stunt you pulled with mine"
>oya?
>(I know she can't drive stick) okay, go ahead.
>Pull off in her Shaturn
>I get a call 20 seconds later
>"Car won't start, and how do I get it out of park?"
>*facepalm*
>Drive back with her Saturn
>Get in my E30
>Lock her car
>Slip her keys in her purse
>Drive off
>Call: CANT GET IN MY CAR
>Unlock your dorrs, stupit.
>oh.

And that's that.

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:56:00 No.5389396 Report

Quoted By:

urgh fine I'll throw in a story. Lame as it is.

>My car is going into the shop for an oil change.
>been bugging my dad about getting new tires for my car
>keeps ingoring it
>after another 10K miles
> tell him I'm getting new tire, unsafe, etc....
>finally agrees
>my nieghbor is our family mechanic
SOOOO....
>New tires
>all of my jizz
>talk to mechanic a few days after i get car back
>he's drunk
>tells me they usually keep old tires for cars that need a quick replacement for a popped tire
>says mine were so bad that they just threw them right out.
>lol as I tell him how bad they were in the rain ("understeer everywhere!")
>he even tells me that old tires were some shitty no name brand (lol previous owners)
>my dad still refuses to beleive they were that bad...

That's about it. Though my mother is a bitch.

I wouldnt mind if my parents died :/

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:57:00 No.5389406 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389212
>beta as fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 06:58:00 No.5389412 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389212
>let girlfriend grab handbrake
>probably will let her in the future

RAiNBOWRANGER !OjFaX5I3po

RAiNBOWRANGER !OjFaX5I3po Wed 12 Oct 2011 07:00:00 No.5389423 Report

Quoted By: >>5389441 >>5389445 >>5389802

Alright, I got a few more to keep this up.

I don't know if this one was posted, because mods delete my posts.

>This morning I had hockey at about 8am
>Car still fucked from her stupid ass
>She bolts into my room at 5am, shoving her keys in my face.
>>"ANON WAKE UP, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR HOCKEY!!!!"
>"WHAT THE SHIT, OKAY BYE!"
>I get to the rink and it's closed
>wtf.jpg
>Go look at time
>5:13am
>Drive home in 5 minutes flat
>"MOM, WHAT THE FUCK, IT'S 5 AM."
>>"HEHEHEHEHE I'M SO FUCKING FUNNY!"
>"Fuck off, don't bother me for two hours."
>Go to sleep, wake up at 7:10, just in time to leave
>"Hey, can I take your car now?"
>>"NO YOU CAN"T YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, HAVE FUN GETTING TO HOCKEY."
>"But...wait why?"
>>"USE YOUR OWN VEHICLE. HEHEHEHE"

Wasn't really a car story, but still a stupid mom story.

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA Wed 12 Oct 2011 07:04:00 No.5389441 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389423
please go Dexter on that bitch. Please. I hope to god you are making this shit up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 07:05:00 No.5389445 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389423
I would disregard that whore as my mother. Fuck her.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 07:15:00 No.5389472 Report

Quoted By:

I have a mom story.
>First day driving with license
>Driving on 25mph road with mom
>"Gee anon, you know you could go a little faster than this. No ones around..."
>Going 35 in a 25
>"A liiiiiiittle faster?"
>Going 65
>"I think we could push it further can't we?"
>85mph
>"Yeah, thats good..."
And when it comes to driving now, she doesn't let me drive her car, even though shes been in 3 accidents. I'm 21, with a perfect record, because I don't drive like a retard.

Raoul Duke !!35rwxMKFMTj

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1270488736364.jpg, 145KiB, 562x420

Raoul Duke !!35rwxMKFMTj Wed 12 Oct 2011 07:24:00 No.5389514 Report

Quoted By:

>Today
>at red light
>making race car noises and shifting with a "pseeww"
>windows down because it was nice out
>look to my left and notice a white f150 in the other lane
>little girl staring at me from her open window
>look past her, older bearded man is trying very hard not to laugh at me
>they witnessed the whole thing
>shrug it off, practice more at the next light
somedayyy....

Terrorshark !9vW3D9.1X6

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1318362170337.jpg, 7KiB, 251x189

Terrorshark !9vW3D9.1X6 Wed 12 Oct 2011 08:28:00 No.5389802 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389423

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 10:28:00 No.5390383 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389864
>Drive a lifted jeep XJ.
>Giant speedbump
>hit going 35
>dat suspension travel
>feels like a seam in the concrete driving a toyota camry

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 11:38:00 No.5390616 Report

Quoted By: >>5392456

>>5388828

If you're with Geico and you're clean, go elsewhere. I shopped around and did a few comparisons. You'd be surprised how much cheaper it might be.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 12 Oct 2011 12:36:00 No.5390757 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389212
>e34 m3
brool story, co.

Axiom !!JtMOOn/AndK

Axiom !!JtMOOn/AndK Wed 12 Oct 2011 15:11:00 No.5391094 Report

Quoted By:

Archive this NAO

Rhonda Sivek

Rhonda Sivek Wed 12 Oct 2011 15:21:00 No.5391101 Report

Quoted By: >>5392456

>mother: " I want a mustang!"
>But theyre rwd, and you hate rwd
>No they arent theyre new and all new cars are fwd
>argue with her for 20 minutes about it
>hate her guts

she also thinks the 89 cougar she used to drive was fwd.

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA Thu 13 Oct 2011 01:02:00 No.5392456 Report

Quoted By: >>5392489

>>5390616
but I'm not with Geico. Never will be. They just seem kinda fishy, don't know why I think this.

Nationwide is pretty good. Never had any issues. I would reccommend them to other people.

>>5391101
On this note,
>trying to jump the E34 with my dad
>his Yukon is at mechanics for new ignition
>unsuccessful jump (dead battery)
>as I am putting the cover of the battery box thing back on
>he says "yeah you have one of them weird engines"
>Me "an inline?"
>dad "no its a rotary"
>me "no it isn't...."
> I'm obviously confused
>He tries to say that it's a rotary "because it's facing this way"
>motions that it is parallel to my front axle
>Tell him 'no that's because its a FWD car'
>He says 'oh....really?'
>admits he's wrong

at least he admitted wrongdoing. Though thsi ahs to stop. 2nd time someone in my family has thought I had a rotary engine simple because "Mazda"

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 13 Oct 2011 01:11:00 No.5392489 Report

Quoted By: >>5392511

>>5392456
>E34
>FWD
>Mazda

What?

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA Thu 13 Oct 2011 01:17:00 No.5392511 Report

Quoted By:

>>5392489
tried to jump the e34 with my mazda

K Series !!luBNga8XM2+

BUY KAWAII NEVER LOOK BACK

K Series !!luBNga8XM2+ Thu 13 Oct 2011 02:18:00 No.5392682 Report

Quoted By:

>several years ago
>thinking about getting $1k Miata
>looking at NA6s
>mom says no, anything like that's too old and will break
>nothing comes of it because lolpoor
>join military last year
>pick up NA8 R Package everything is glorious
>oil pump dies, engine shits itself
Motherfucker.

Alternatively,
>own '95 Probe GT
>no headliner (working on sunroof) and no muffler (because race car)
>mother hates everything about that car
>fast forward to now
>fix miata
>turbocharge it
>strip interior (because race car) to bare metal errywhere
>can't wait to drive it home and see the look on my mother's face

But she hasn't said much about my driving since I went toojan with my dad. I don't think she thought it was possible for anyone short of Nicky Hayden to keep up with him, and then I went and did it in lolprobe. My dad was impressed and my mom kind of shut up.

OP IS A !FAG..jIhak

OP IS A !FAG..jIhak Thu 13 Oct 2011 22:39:00 No.5396206 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 13 Oct 2011 22:56:00 No.5396235 Report

Quoted By:

contributing
>drive with mom, im on the passenger side
>fucking winter
>dirt road to where i live cause new village
>obviously snow everywhere
>fucking ice
>still driving slow as fuck
>suddenly slide slightly sideways
>mom grabs me and screams
>"hold on! we are going to crash!"
>what the flying fuck...
>could have literally stepped out of the car an walked faster then we were going

yeah my mom has never had an accident in 30 years but she still panics about nothing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 13 Oct 2011 23:07:00 No.5396252 Report

Quoted By: >>5396320

>Be 14
>Move to Canada with my dad,leaving my mum behind
>Order parts online and build myself a RX7
>Be 23
>Take my RX7 back to the UK to enter a drift showoff
>My mother's face when I turn up in that straight pipe,tarbo,bridgeported,apex seal spitting beast
>Take her along with me
>"So,I'm just here to show off my car."
>Me and my mother get back into the car and I line up
>"Anon what are you doing ?"
>"Just moving the car."
>HFW a few seconds later I'm sideways at 70 mph
>She's literally screaming and hitting me
>"If you ever do something like that to me again,I will burn this car to the ground,now let me the fuck out."

I love my mother.

LEGACY

LEGACY Thu 13 Oct 2011 23:16:00 No.5396264 Report

Quoted By: >>5402122

>Mom crashes her Camry
>Gets a rental Mazda 6
>I'm in front yard doing work
>From down the street: WHOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOM
BOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOMBOM
>Me - OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
>Mom pulls in driveway "This car has no power."
>She had it in that shit steptronic mode instead of D
>She drove it home 10 miles on the highway in first gear

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA

UofKentucky !4eGZpucwRA Thu 13 Oct 2011 23:31:00 No.5396320 Report

Quoted By:

>>5396252
fucking made my day.

Thank you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 13 Oct 2011 23:49:00 No.5396363 Report

Quoted By:

>suckered into driving my mom somewhere
>she is in the passenger seat fiddling with her phone
>suddenly: *gasp* AAAAH! OH MY GOD!
>I slam on the brakes and look around
>"oh my god, marcy's birthday party is tomorrow! we're both invited!"
>"..."
>"...why are we stopped?"

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 13 Oct 2011 23:55:00 No.5396385 Report

Quoted By: >>5405188

>>5384531
This. I would've hit the wall HARD plus there was no cars around me and I wasn't sliding on purpose.

She shattered the passenger side window with her arm and there was no way I was driving home with in passenger side window while snowing and 10 degrees out on the highway

WAT124

WAT124 Fri 14 Oct 2011 00:06:00 No.5396402 Report

Quoted By:

>driving my grandparrents to dinner
>fresh floor in the 71' riviera
>SUDDENLY, HUGE GASP
>lock em up
>"i forgot to feed the cat before we left!"
my fucking grandmother... does shit shit every time shes with me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 14 Oct 2011 00:08:00 No.5396406 Report

Quoted By:

>been driving for 5 years
>mom understands she cannot into cars
>never says anything about my driving
>imokaywiththis.jpg

WAT124

WAT124 Fri 14 Oct 2011 00:12:00 No.5396415 Report

Quoted By:

also...
>with the GF
>terrible winter, black ice everywhere
>going to lunch
>range is turning left infront of me, try to slow down
>be in 90' 2 door XJ with 350 swap, boganmobile
>dont slow down, rear end just starts to slide out
>OH FUCK THIS IS IT
>make it by the range, had to be 6" between my grill and the range's rear end
>look over, fucking GF is trying to open the door....
>"what the fuck" i think
>grab her arm, blip throttle, suprisingly pull out of slide
why the fuck would you try to open the door? people are fucking stupid. was going roughly 40 btw.

OP IS A !FAG..jIhak

OP IS A !FAG..jIhak Fri 14 Oct 2011 23:12:00 No.5399824 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Rit !sukiW9Ktmk

Rit !sukiW9Ktmk Sat 15 Oct 2011 07:27:00 No.5401819 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Oct 2011 09:00:00 No.5402100 Report

Quoted By:

wtf my story was deleted twice?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Oct 2011 09:08:00 No.5402122 Report

Quoted By:

>>5396264
I remember seeing this story before.

>and this is why I LMAO whenever people tell me their car used to be a rental.

Axiom !!JtMOOn/AndK

Axiom !!JtMOOn/AndK Sat 15 Oct 2011 17:19:00 No.5402690 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

Hairy Britfag

Hairy Britfag Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:32:00 No.5403322 Report

Quoted By:

>dad gets new company car
>mum is driving it to the midlands to see family, with me and sister
>sister is kinda freaked because mum keeps turning kinda jerky
>explain to her that she's fine, mum just needs to learn the car a little (used to driving old ass cars with shitty power steering, etc)

>way back, heavy rain, motorway at 80
>can feel the car aquaplaning, going slightly sideways, then settling down as she corrects
>sister really freaking out
>ask mum to slow down a little

my mum is pretty awesome, used to own a truimph motorcycle, drove a citreon DX when i was a kid too.

Hairy Britfag

Hairy Britfag Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:34:00 No.5403328 Report

Quoted By:

oh, remembered this
>mum driving us home from somewhere
>suddenly lolnobrakes
>no panic, just uses the handbrake and gears the rest of the way home instead

sage

sage Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:40:00 No.5403344 Report

Quoted By:

>>5388740
Your premiums are more a result of where you live than anything.

High theft probability, lots of parking on the street, cities have higher traffic density == more chances of accidents/claims.

That and it's not the US.

I'm 23, pay $120/mo for full coverage on a 2004 M3. Difference is, I live in a suburban area of Minneapolis, and don't drive my car very far (lol7milecommute).

Hairy Britfag

Hairy Britfag Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:40:00 No.5403345 Report

Quoted By: >>5403415

dad story to even things out
>driving with dad on B-road
>been playing a lot of colin mcrea 2 together (new at time)
>hey dad, 4 right into 3 left over crest!
>all of a sudden b-road is a rally stage.

>driving through town at night
>shitbox full of chavs pulls up blasting shit and hanging out the window
>dad revs (diesel skoda)
>they rev (some vauxhall hatch)
>light changes, dad spins through first, and part of second, and is gone before they're through the intersection.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:45:00 No.5403356 Report

Quoted By: >>5403387

Thanks to this thread I know realize everyone on /o/ is 12-15 yrs old.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:46:00 No.5403361 Report

Quoted By:

>>5389230
>He lets people that don't know how to drive stick drive his MT car

What are you stupid or something? What if she'd gotten it started & ground your gears to dust trying to get moving? You'd be stuck without a car for another 2 weeks while the shop has to get a trans specialist to replace the gears. Even if she paid for it, that would be the fucking biggest hassle ever. All to be a self-righteous cunt toward the person who brought you into this world, raised you, and has allowed you the privilege to be a cocksmack.

You ungrateful asshole.

thatgermanguy !bWN2Al.ePQ

thatgermanguy !bWN2Al.ePQ Sat 15 Oct 2011 23:55:00 No.5403387 Report

Quoted By:

why is this thread still alive?
>>5403356
you don't know shit about the average age of /o/.

>have no real mom stories, try as close as possible:
>mom always did invisible braking when on passenger side
>flips out screams at me for braking to fast (or even still giving power instead of braking)
>does the invisible braking on me one day
>i freak out with something like "FFS MOM STOP THAT SHIT. IT WILL ALWAYS LOOK LIKE IT'S TOO LATE NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND NEVER DO THAT AGAIN" or so.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 00:04:00 No.5403415 Report

Quoted By:

>>5403345
I've got a dad story too

>dad drives his car like 18,000 miles/yr
>doesn't care for it; they're not in his possession long, pretty much disposable objects at this point
>sees me washing my car/generally caring for it, decides my brother needs to wash family cars more (because lolteenager without a job)
>eating lunch with the fam, dad tells brother to use lighter fluid or goof off or some shit to "get the bugs off the front bumper of the car"
>wait wtf are you doing? No don't do that! Put the goof off down.
>shit acts as a paint thinner, dad; why don't you know this?
>"what do you mean?"
>jesus christ, dad, you just asked [bro] to rub the paint off your car
>lolwhoops

needless to say, my dad is not allowed near my vehicle.

Super90 !dMNamcrvfs

Super90 !dMNamcrvfs Sun 16 Oct 2011 00:28:00 No.5403515 Report

Quoted By:

>Back when I was 15 with my permit
>Living in Minnesnowta
>Just snowed like 2"
>Dad: "Alright super90, time to teach you how to pull out of slides on snowy/icy roads"
>Go to middle school parking lot in our tahoe
>Dad floors it and does hektik skidz in the fresh snow
>Dad: "To correct, back off the throttle and gently spin the wheel the other way"
>Shows me a few more times
>Trade places
>Start off, give it a little gas
>Dad say I need to pin it and get it going sideways
>Drift king by the end of the afternoon

My dad is fun to drive with

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 05:13:00 No.5404435 Report

Quoted By:

Man, you people have crazy insurance rates. And I thought mine was crazy.

>Speeding Ticket
>Credentials Violation
>19
>South Dakota
>96 dollars a month

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 08:07:00 No.5405148 Report

Quoted By:

>>5387614
One of my ex's was like that. She thought "cutting off" was anyone merging in front of you, PERIOD. Then the appropriate action is to speed up, tailgate, flash lights and honk until they pull over. One dude pulled over, asked what the problem was and I apologized in shame to him. We broke up the next day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 08:14:00 No.5405188 Report

Quoted By:

>>5396385 there was no way I was driving home with in passenger side window while snowing and 10 degrees out on the highway

So instead you walked 7 miles home? Your rationale makes no sense.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1318464106959.jpg, 29KiB, 250x250

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 08:57:00 No.5405378 Report

Quoted By:

>girl I know gets her starter license
>she goes driving out with her friends
>think about how dumb she is
>hear the next day she crashed through a house
>a
>fucking
>house

You have to be full retard to do something like that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 16 Oct 2011 08:59:00 No.5405385 Report

Quoted By:

>come home and mom

Stopped reading there. This thread is about you, bro.

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