/r9k1/ - ROBOT9000 (Feb. 2008 - Jan. 2011)

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63KiB, 337x219, herfact.jpg

Anonymous !jSyclaDY7g Fri 24 Sep 2010 20:40:00 No.11252371 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

ITT: I love my mom stories

>Playing Xbox or watching a movie, laying on the bed
>mom walks in
>"ARE YOU COLD SWEETIE? :)"
>"no mom I'm fine"
>she walks out of room, then comes back a minute later with this giant blanket
>she lays it on me and tucks me in
>"THERE :)"
>*sigh* "thanks mom... -_-"
>her face
>she leaves

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:38:00 No.11256083 Report

Quoted By: >>11256128

>be 8
>one week after 8th birthday
>wake up and put on my necklace my mom gave me
>go to kitchen
>door is open and everything is broken and smashed
>mom dead
>brother missing

All I do these days is eat pizza and sit around being a lazy asshole. Shit sucks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:40:00 No.11256111 Report

Quoted By:

>university
>have to give a huge presentation to a whole auditorium of people
>I will be scrutinised critically on my performance
>hate public speaking, stressed to fuck
>going through my notes before shaking like a leaf
>little piece of paper in between
>"Chin up, dear, don't worry you'll be great no matter what. Love you - Mum."
>It's a small gesture but really made my day
>do awesomely on the presentation

I love my mum.
;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:42:00 No.11256128 Report

Quoted By:

>>11256083

Get over it.

Nerd.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:44:00 No.11256151 Report

Quoted By:

>Brother is the more favorite one in our family
>He ends up deciding to go to college for theater
>Whole family hates him, he isn't ever invited to any family get together
>I get a shit-ton of money all the time because I'm now the most favorite in our side of the family because I didn't go to college for shit like theater.
>I don't even know if my brother has any job or anything anymore
Worth it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:53:00 No.11256264 Report

Quoted By:

>>11253404
any further tales?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:57:00 No.11256302 Report

Quoted By:

>get into fight at school to defend my friend who was being attacked & getting their ass kicked really badly
>kick ass
>get suspended for 3 days
>dad rages at me 'til I bawwww
>tells my mom to make sure that I do grueling chores for the duration of my suspension
>wake up the following morning, expecting hell
>mom has made me breakfast, and after I eat says, "would you like to make cookies with me, Anon?"
>bake and snack on delicious cookies all day, just talking and hanging out

I love you mom. And I miss you so much. I can't believe you died and left me with that bitter asshole you married =/

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 02:58:00 No.11256311 Report

Quoted By:

>freshman at university
>miss girlfriend really bad
>drunk dial her and act like an asshole
>shes pissed, wont talk
>get package from mom
>newspaper clipping about her doing great in tennis
>send gf picture of clipping, apologize
>we've been together now through 2 years of college

thanks mom, you're the best

bestmomblox

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:08:00 No.11256434 Report

Quoted By:

>dad is cool guy but lives in america so i never get to see him
>mum works ultra hard to keep us going
>and is still awesome
I love you, mum.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:19:00 No.11256566 Report

Quoted By: >>11256683

This thread is now about baww.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:26:00 No.11256629 Report

Quoted By:

>merried
>live acrost country from mother
>haven't spoken in almost a year
>fuck yeah

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:33:00 No.11256683 Report

Quoted By:

>>11256566
no this thread is about love and appreciation.

one of the best I've read in a while.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:38:00 No.11256731 Report

Quoted By: >>11256801

Archive?

>Extremely stuck up, religious, law-abiding mom
>Totally opposing viewpoints
>Have a big debate on it all, at some points get really angry
>Afterwards get offered hot chocolate and some oreos, mom doesn't give a fuck what just happened

damnit mom

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:41:00 No.11256769 Report

Quoted By: >>11257215

>>Go on /b/
>>See stoner "show your shit" thread
>>See a timestamped picture of my mom smoking out of straightshooter
>>Love you, Mom.
>>Cry

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:46:00 No.11256801 Report

Quoted By:

>>11256731
go to http://4chanarchive.org/. on the left sidebar, click request interface. need 5 more requests.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:54:00 No.11256899 Report

Quoted By:

>breakdown at 13
>mum takes care of me even though she has her own mental health issues
>sticks with me even when im a cunt
>put her life on hold to help me have one

god i love her

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 03:55:00 No.11256909 Report

Quoted By:

>16th birthday
>Mom asks me if I want to do anything special
>"No, maybe just go out to dinner or something"
>Takes me out for pizza
>A bunch of my friends walk in to pizza parlor after she organized a surprise party
>Gives me $200 in cash and tells me to have fun, then leaves me with my friends

also

>Going to R rated movie with friends
>forget ID
>call Mom and say I forgot my ID and i'm just gonna see something else
>theater is 20 minutes away from home, she gets there in 10 minutes with my ID

Love you Mom

Anonymous !FinrayZMO.

Anonymous !FinrayZMO. Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:10:20 No.11257052 Report

Quoted By:

>break up with gf of 2 years
>Dad and stepmum offer no emotional support
>Most I get from mum is "aww, oh well."

fuck my life

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:10:00 No.11257053 Report

Quoted By: >>11257084 >>11257197

>be a sheltered 16 year old.
>Friend asks me out. (first date)
>Mom not home, calls her nervously to ask if I can go on a date.
>Expect her to go ape shit.
>"I'm busy sweetie, what is it?"
>"Mom, Gino asked me out, Can I go?"
>"Sure sweetie! Make sure you wear something nice, don't wear that ugly shirt, also don't wear anything I bought you."
>"Okay, thanks mom!" Huge sigh of relief.
>"My daughter just got asked o a first date, isn't that cute?"
>Hears lots of giggling.
>Mom was in the middle of Teaching her class in a University.

Oh mom, you can be annoying sometimes, but I love you so much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:13:00 No.11257084 Report

Quoted By:

>>11257053
The key to breaking out of the friendzone is to do it when you're in high school. Good on ya for giving your friend a chance.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:27:00 No.11257184 Report

Quoted By: >>11257420

You all have great moms.

And so do I. :3

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:28:00 No.11257197 Report

Quoted By:

>>11257053
That's a mix between d'aww and lol.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:30:00 No.11257211 Report

Quoted By:

I can't tell one specific story about my mother, she's way too awesome:

>knows about everyone's lives and helps out, yet manages to take care of her own
>despite my brother not being her son and him having problems related to that issue, she takes care of him, puts up with his shit and loves him (he unfortunately doesn't think this way)
>didn't drown me when she found out i had asperger's
>manages to help pay for everyone's college
>well-respected in the city
>remembers what i like and manages to buy or do something related to those likes
>know she hates me playing rugby, but supports me anyway.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:30:00 No.11257215 Report

Quoted By:

>>11256769
Holy shit, your mom is on 4chan. You now realize she has probably seen shitting dick nipples.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 04:51:00 No.11257420 Report

Quoted By:

>>11257184
What's so great about your mom then, huh anon?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 05:04:00 No.11257536 Report

Quoted By:

>get home from school after pep rally
>explain to mom that i got hit in the face with white pearly beads cheerleaders were throwing
>she makes a sex joke about getting hit in the face with a "pearl necklace"
>mfw my mom is a bigger pervert than i am

>am 16, playing World of Warcraft
>open mailbox in game, my mom sent me a snowshow rabbit along with a long, cute story about how she "caught it"
>d'awww

>Be with boyfriend
>Playing TF2
>he keeps tickling me
>"Damn it, you're making this harder than it needs to be!!"
>Mom, from kitchen: "That's what he said!!"
>all lol heartily

>My mom has helped me beat the hard bosses of every game I've ever played. ;-;

My mom is the greatest. She's too hard on herself, because we've always had money problems. I wouldn't trade her for anything. Having her around makes up for all the stupid shit we've had to endure! I have so many other stories.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 05:13:00 No.11257626 Report

Quoted By:

happenned today no shit.

>mum + dad leaving for vacation
>mum lays down rules while i have house
>no sluts, prostitutes or drugs and lol's.
>i lol.
>go down stairs and see $200.00 on bench and she's done 2 weeks worth of shopping

i feel bad for being such a beta guy my parents deserve better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 05:21:00 No.11257716 Report

Quoted By:

>Junior prom
>Taking girlfriend of 2 years
>Get everything prepared
>Split Limo fee with several buddies
>Get ready to leave
>Realize I forgot to buy more condoms
>Mom walks outside with me and hands me a brand new box

Not the first time it happened, but I didn't expect her to be able to read me that easily when I started panicking and said I'd forgotten something.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 05:38:00 No.11257900 Report

Quoted By: >>11261947 >>11261984

>Typical robot with no friends or a job
>Mum lets me live with her
>She gets cockhead boyfriend who complains about everything.
>Hides food an expects me to starve because I don't work.
>Ask mum if she can get some cereal for a change.
>She does
>He comes home asking if I ate said cereal and says Im not allowed.
>He starts trying to argue with me
>Mum tells him to shut the hell up and that she brought it for me.
>Younger brother also defends me
>I go out and mow the lawns, he shuts up.

Just happened an hour ago. My family has gone through some fucked up shit through out the years. He has nobody except my mum, his son and daughter won't even talk to him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 05:44:00 No.11257965 Report

Quoted By:

I lurve this thread
moms dont get enough appreciation
heres mine
>going to massachusetts to visit gf of a year
>bought my own plane ticket
>mom takes me to airport
>gives me a bunch of money and condoms
>expected nothing
>thanks mom :)

IM HUGGING MY MOM NEXT TIME I SEE HER

Anubis !D.Jip6r9wQ

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Anubis !D.Jip6r9wQ Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:33:23 No.11261836 Report

Quoted By:

Shortly after I turned 21, my family went out to PF Chang's. While waiting for a table, we hung out near the bar. We all get alcohol (except my 13 yr. old bro), I order Captain Morgan's. My mom turns her head away from my brother and warns me that the drunkest she ever got was off a rum and coke. My brother's like "what did she say?"
Mom: "Nothing, sweetheart."
Me: "She said the drunkest she ever got was off a rum and coke."
Mom: "Anon!"
Me: "What?"
>mfw I got my mom respect points from my brother and she didn't notice
I love you, mom, but you gotta lighten up a bit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:38:00 No.11261877 Report

Quoted By:

Moms are the only women who aren't selfish bitches.

But only to their kids.

Broken Music !1fXBJ0hQ2.

Broken Music !1fXBJ0hQ2. Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:40:53 No.11261902 Report

Quoted By:

>lost house recently due to ex
>mom is kind enough to let me live there free of charge, since no jobs in town, and it's close to my school
>I get her into online gaming, specifically MW2.
>I've since stopped playing.
>She is online every night kicking ass and taking names.
>Brags about her kill counts
>*proud tear*
>Also promotes the shit our of whatever musical act I'm a part of
>I love my mom

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:46:00 No.11261947 Report

Quoted By:

>>11257900
>>11257900

get a fucking job you lazy cuntfag

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:46:00 No.11261956 Report

Quoted By: >>11262082

>play dota
>"HEY YOU WANT SOME FOOD?"
>"No thanks"
>5~ minutes pass
>She comes in with a huge bowl of food, meat and shit and a cup of hot chocolate
>"Goddamnit mom"
>her face

Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:49:00 No.11261984 Report

Quoted By:

>>11257900
How old are you? Fucking 14? Move out and get a job you god damn mommas boy, it's pathetic when your mom has to protect your dumb ass as if you're a child.

Ironic polite sage for irrelevancy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 11:53:00 No.11262002 Report

Quoted By:

>dad abuses mom before i was born
>mom dies during childbirth
>get seperated from my sister
>dad tries to take over universe
>think of mom whenever i need strength
>i love you mom

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:00:00 No.11262040 Report

Quoted By:

A thread about girls and bitches and whores isn't mentioned? On MY /r9k/?

>the power of mothers, d'awwwwwww

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:01:00 No.11262049 Report

Quoted By:

>>11255647

Fucking Raver.

Coolest thing my mom has done for me is during my senior prom, she handed me a $100 dollar bill and said to get a bottle of whatever and a taxi home.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:06:00 No.11262082 Report

Quoted By:

>>11261956
>dota
That's your problem.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:10:00 No.11262110 Report

Quoted By:

http://easypancakes.blogspot.com/

From ^ blog.

I remember living in Queens and stealing dimes and nickels and packing them into a gameboy cartridge case. Whenever I went to the pool with the kids from Vacation bible School my parents never gave me money to buy food. I'd usually have to eat the plain PB&J sandwich the counselors provided. Anyway, one day my mom was looking through my bag and found it. She asked me where I got it. I admitted to rifling through her purse to buy french fries at the pool. My mother held the measly $4 of change I had dug up and her eyes watered. She wanted to hit me for stealing but instead she started crying. Wiping her tears she told me it's embarrassing to pay for things with ridiculous amounts of change. Next time, she said, to come to her. I knew she didn't have anything to spare and I saw how miserable and frustrating it was for her to know that. I ate PB&J at the pool ever since.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO baww.jpg, 31KiB, 640x480

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:11:00 No.11262114 Report

Quoted By: >>11262125

>mom never buys me shit during my life
>she hides money from me all the time
>think this is fucking bananas and complain all the time
>tell her I hate her and wish I had a better mom
>years later she dies
>I get life insurance of 1 million dollars
>this is where all the money was going
>my face when it won't replace my mom

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:12:00 No.11262125 Report

Quoted By:

>>11262114
FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK

I'm bawwing like mad.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:15:00 No.11262160 Report

Quoted By:

>move far away from home for uni
>start growing weed in my huge bedroom closet
>mum comes to visit, only bed is double in my room
>mum is really tired and about to go to sleep
>i still haven't come up with a plan to stop her realising there's weed in my closet
>"oh mum, in my room... sometimes, it looks like there's this bright light coming through the doors of my closet, but that is actually a trick of the light caused from... from the angle of the blinds reflecting the light from nextdoor"
>mum: "oh?... oh yeah!"
>she peacefully goes to sleep
>my face
>next morning, i'm leaving to go to uni
>tell mum not to go through my stuff or poke around in my closet or anything
>She tries to make serious face but is trying not to laugh
>"anon, you're a very naughty girl."

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Tim.jpg, 71KiB, 660x479

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:25:00 No.11262266 Report

Quoted By: >>11262270

cI love my mom, but she drove me crazy today. This is going to be long. (And evidently in two parts):

>Badly need wisdom teeth out
>Bouts of immense discomfort/pain last over the last couple months
>Recently got new insurance plan , so need to find a new dentist
>Need Mom's help, because fuck if I know who's on my insurance plan etc.
>She doesn't do it
>One weekend my teeth are KILLING ME, and I'm on the verge of tears
>I'm pissed she hasn't done anything even though I constantly mention it
>She tells me to be patient and promises to sort it out FIRST THING MONDAY

(1/2)

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:26:00 No.11262270 Report

Quoted By:

>>11262266
Fast forward to today, 3 weeks later

>Wisdom teeth are again, killing me (but not as bad as last time)
>Go and ask her how it's coming with the insurance plan etc.
>She tells me she "Hasn't gotten around to it."
>Ask her if she can point me in the right direction so I can work out finding myself a dentist
>She tells me to be patient, and that she'll do it first thing on monday
>Laugh because she literally said the exact same thing 3 weeks ago
>She's all bitchy to me later that night while I'm making coffee downstairs
>I just tell her I'm frustrated that she brushed me off three weeks ago and expects me to believe her this time
>She tells me how busy she is, and that her life doesn't revolve around me.
>"Ok, just don't tell me you're going to do something if you have no intention of actually doing it."
>"YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME!"
>I bite. "When do I do that?"
>"Like, you say you'll take plates out of your room, but never do, and I have to go in and get them. I could spend that time better, you know. I could use that time to call the dentist and set up an appointment."
>I start laughing in disbelief because what she said was so fucking retarded.
>She's pissed because she knows I'm laughing at her full retard argument. As she's walking out (sarcastically): "YEAH, AND DRINKING COFFEE IS REALLY GOING TO MAKE YOUR TEETH BETTER."
>I laugh even harder because she makes it sound like I'm about to drink a cup of sandpaper.

Longest. Greentext. Ever. You deserve a medal for reading all that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 12:27:00 No.11262279 Report

Quoted By:

>be ill, sneezing
>mum wants me to tidy room. Clothes everywhere.
>"no I'm not in the mood"
>mfw she's right here putting everything back in the wardrobe while I lie in bed and browse /r9k/ on my iPod.

I love you, mum.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 13:04:00 No.11262586 Report

Quoted By:

>Be from a divorced family
>Mom takes hardcore sleeping Rx's
>Trips balls, cries about how she's a failure
>She's done everything for me and my brother after our Dad left us
>Hold each other and cry

She don't remember SHIT.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 13:07:00 No.11262607 Report

Quoted By:

>playing xbox
>mom walks in
>OH WAIT SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE IS DEAD

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 13:11:00 No.11262630 Report

Quoted By:

>Get home. "Maa, make me a sandwich"
>"Ok dear!"
>Make it toasted
>"Ok!"
*10 minutes later*
>What took you so long?
>"I had to toast it"
>Oh right, thanks ma
>No problem

<3 Ma!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 Sep 2010 13:29:00 No.11262728 Report

Quoted By:

>Gf of 2 and a half years dumps me this summer as soon as i'm home from college
>Both my sisters and bro hated her
>She comes over to get her stuff
>Me and ex get into an argument
>Mom comes out, tells ex she'll end up like her meth head parents and that her and my dad just humored me and hated her too
>Ex gets super pissed and leaves
>Mom walks up to me "You really don't need to mix with that trailer trash, she'll end up living out of her car with her habits and you'll do way better"
>Say thanks, hug mom, go inside and eat cookies

Funny ending to this story! My ex got hooked on pills and became a raging alcoholic who's now living out of her car!
Oh the lulz that came when she came begging for me back after 3 months.

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