[309 / 0 / ?]
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Back in the 4th grade...>In art class, project of the day is finger painting a flag >Discussion ensues over what eachother should paint >Someone thinks aloud he should paint a good luck symbol on a flag >I blurt out he should paint a swastika as it is a good luck charm in a lot of cultures/religions. (Yes, I was an introverted kid back then too :( feels bad man) >Mexican hybrid or w/e the fuck he is blurts out that my comment was racist (antisemitism, we're in 4th grade) >He goes and tells the fat fuck of the art teacher >Art teacher sends me to principle for 'racist comments' >I argue with principle that the swastika had a long history before the Germans. >Principle doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about, believes I'm making it up. >Calls my parents and I get a 2 day suspension After my 4 day break (weekend) I come back for vengeance.>Every day, when I had to take a shit, I would shit in the urinal, or if it was just a piss, I'd clog up the sink with towels and piss in the sink. >After about a week, intercom states that whoever is doing the bathroom vandalism to please stop >Continue my scheme >Three days later, they announce that every child leaving a classroom would have to be accompanied by an adult >When a kid had to go to the bathroom, the teacher had to intercom for someone to come up >This led to less class time, a lot of accidents, and the parents shitstorm Pic related: My face after the whole ordeal
So you know who's saying what
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Dave: "Who the hell do you think you are?" Hambeast: -Standard "defender of the innocent" bullshit- D: "Have you ever lost a family member in the Holocaust?" H: No... D: "Let me tell you something. My family tree is full of holes left by those death camps. I have heard the stories of my ancestors and all they had to endure. It took them 20 FUCKING YEARS to find the strength to talk about what they had to go through. Have you ever heard a first hand acccount of the holocaust? Have you?" HB [stunned] ...no... D: "Well then don't fucking trivialize it with stupid shit like this! Nobody has any right, ANY FUCKING RIGHT, to compare what these people went through to anything else. You're no fucking different. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY SCHOOL AND TAKE THIS SHIT WITH YOU." He got back in the car. I was speechless as the woman he just flipped out on. Everyone else who had saw it were just as impressed that he shut them the fuck up. So ultimately it took the staff threatening to call the cops to get them to leave, but they haven't come back. It turns out one student helped organize the demonstration, and he told it to all te other active pro-life kids, who turned the shit in. They went around and personally apologized for any trauma those fuckers caused, and kept insisting that they would never compare abortion to the holocaust. (Which they don't.)
So you know who's saying what
>>12334101 Option A. I was born with a terrible case of the herpaderps.
Anonymous
>>12334260 You also apparently type slower than my fucking grandma
So you know who's saying what
>>12334279 No, just had to go take a piss.
Anonymous
>>2332706 Lol, reminds me of a chem class ways back
>We were using hydrochloric acid solution for our lab >Stoner kid that likes to mess around comes in late after the safety instructions >Hes holding a beaker filled with hydrochloric acid >Holding it with one hand, loosely >Bumps into another anon, lets go of the beaker and spills all down his leg and into his shoe >Teacher immediately races him to the shower, telling him to take off his clothes >Dude is completely naked, covering his junk tho >Teacher turns on shower >We are in a relatively new part of the school, showers haven't been tested >Brownish clunks of...idk what spewed out. I think it was a mixture of mud, and water that's been in the pipes for years and years. Smelled awful >Teacher -Ohshit!.jpg >Teacher runs him down the entire hall, naked, as the acid is on the guys leg and foot >Takes him to another class, which is full, and makes him use the shower >Pic: our face when he returned We were good bro's though, to turn the situation into a positive one, we rumored around that he had a huge dick.
Anonymous
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>>12334301 Thanks for finished. I'm going to bed now, goodnight brobots.
Been a good day with this thread on the side.
So you know who's saying what
(cont.) So Dave was pretty popular in school after this, no one had ever seen that side of him before. I for one was amazed. Later that day we went back to my place and started playing some vidya, and just generally screwing around and I told Dave I was impressed at how he stood up for himself and that I'd always been attracted to him. It turned out he had long felt the same way about me. Dave began to unzip his pants and slowly removed his large cock, I watched it grow in size before my eyes as it got harder and harder. I couldn't resist anymore, and started to suck it like a vacuum. He came after about ten minutes and told me it was the best orgasm he ever had and I glowed with pride having satisfied him so thoroughly.
Anonymous
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>sophomore year in highschool >friends with everyone but this one fucking wannabe jock and his friends >he only goes for non cut sports because he can't make the football team >does shit like sneeze on people, scratch his balls then put his hands on people's faces >hear he got a girlfriend >see him talking with her, acting like an asshole to her >he walks away >go up to her >"So, you like being his girlfriend huh?" >she admits he's an asshole to her >tell her that she can do with much better >she asks who >mfw I boned his girlfriend a few weeks later
Anonymous
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>>12334260 >a terrible case of the herpaderps. now I've lost it
I can go study now, that's enough laughs to last me the whole rest of the week.
So you know who's saying what
>>12334340 Well played, very well played. Funny part is, my GF at the time pretty much wanted something like that to happen.
Anonymous
>get reacquainted with friend from juve >go to his place one evening to smoke some dank >he tells me offhandedly that his brother is living with him as I enter his apartment >his brother is into some pretty bad shit >crackhead, burglar, former manwhore, mugger >he's scary as fuck >as we're sitting in the living room watching TV and smoking, he comes in, sits right next to me, and nonchalantly lights a crack pipe >dude >he starts making strange guttural sounds >he picks up 2 alligator clips and puts them on his nipples >he asks me to pull them >dismiss him as if he's joking, laugh awkwardly >he looks at me as if I insulted him >crackhead tell his brother that he needs to talk to him in another room >he sounds serious >they walk away >I'm fearing for my life, I'm sure he wants to kill me >hear them coming back >oh god, I'm dead... >they're wearing boxers, pulled up into their asses to look like thongs >they're giving me a mock lap dance >OH GOD YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE >they're laughing their asses off >mfw
Anonymous
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>>12334418 I jelly. I very, sincerely jelly.
Anonymous
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>>12334313 Still must've scared him for life...Brofist for that end part robot. Brofist indeed.
Anonymous
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11/12 years old>Organise 'SlugFest' at lunchtime in middle school >Recruit younger kids into one of the two teams >Use younger kids as cannon fodder >Charge through a tide of shrieking 8/9 year olds >Get to the real team, a load of bro's in my year >Duke it out until our team emerges victorious >Head teacher bans 'Bulldog' permanently >mfw our team emerges undefeated Bitches don't know about SlugFest
Anonymous
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>Get bullied at highschool for 2 years cause I'm a pacifist >Main bully slams me into locker trying to act cool >Rage mode activated >Slam him in the stomach >He doubles over >Elbow him in the back >He falls down >I grab him, pull him close to my face >Tell him not to do that again or he will regret it >It was just after lunch, still had 2 periods to go, fuck it go home, play Warcraft3 >He bitches to principal, he knows he was bullying me >He gets suspended for 2 weeks, I get nothing >mfw
Anonymous
>>12332576 in high school chem vein,
>cracking some random hydrocarbon in test tube >shitloads of heat >all of a sudden, the test tube begins to droop >holyshitwhatdowedowhatdowedo >glass completely softens in the middle, test tube is now at a right angle >small bubble forms on glass >shitshit should we tell someone? >bubble pops, ignition occurs >large bang, lots of glass, minor cuts >problem solved. we don't know how it happened, we figure it was a dodgy test tube, but we weren't expecting it to happen and out of the three of us we all just stood there staring.
Anonymous
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>>12334566 something similar happened to me in highschool, it was wicked!
Anonymous
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>>12334313 Yeah, emergency showers are almost guaranteed to contain shitty water. The older the building is, the worse the water will be. Shit doesn't really circulate in the pipes.
Reminds me of a story:
>In college, Chem 1225 >Hottest girl in class drops a thermometer >Class goes silent with the gentle tinkling of glass on the floor >Bro on the opposite side of the room yells, "Take off your clothes and get under the shower!" >Class bursts into laughter >youhadtohavebeenthere.jpg Same class
>Lab partner is a senior Econ major >Hadn't had a chem class since high school >Needed a science class with a lab in order to graduate >Chem II was the only thing that fit into his schedule >mfw I ended up doing all the work and we're always the last to leave class (but still 30-45 early nonetheless) He wasn't a bad guy, but knew nothing about lab protocol and I ended up trying to teach concepts I barely understood.
Anonymous
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>>12334379 What's his reaction to South Park?
Anonymous
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this thread is fucking amazing /r9k/ i've laughed myself into stitches quite a few times
Anonymous
>Grade 9. >Be massive asshole. >Have spineless beta minions. >Start insulting a Jewish girl, saying lulzy things like "Go back to the kitchen and get your family out of the oven." >Goes on for 2 months. >She has emo slut girlfriend. Yes they were lez. >Have nigger in my horde, treat him no better. >He sides with them. >Principle tiem. >Meeting is set for the next day. >Plan ahead, prepare my case. >Meeting tiem, spineless councilor takes me away and has a 1 on 1 talk. Asks me why I did that and if I think that what I am doing is ok. >Put on my innocent face and say "I was just very worried for my friend, emoslut and jewbag do drugs and are pulling him (nigra) into that too." >He srs. >I weave an intricate web of lies, covering them in a metric fuckton of dirt. >Next thing you know, he asks me why I said racist comments to her. >Tell him that I am also Jewish, and that the way she acted really made me ashamed of my heritage and that I tried to take out my self-hate on her. >He nods. >We walk out of the office, her calls them in, I flash them my bestest trollface. They later get in so much trouble that I even thought it was Overkill. >That evening, sit at my computer. >justasplanned.jpeg
Anonymous
>>12335642 There is just no way this is true.
NONE.
Anonymous
>>12335741 I assure you sir, this is the truest truth.
What part of this saga do you find impossible?
Anonymous
>>12335775 It's just too stupid, it really is. How would anyone who's delt with teenagers not see past this and check with parents?
codeOuroboros
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>6th grade >huge kids on the bus start picking on me and my fat cousin >we exchange curse words, seems harmless enough >one of the kids hits my cousin in the stomach >ohhellno.jpg >tell driver, manage to get kids expelled just for that >never liked those kids anyway a few years later>7th grade, no one fucks with me, not out of fear but because they have no reason to >some fat kid comes by acting like a dick >tell him to fuck off and spew a ton of curses and insults >he pushes me >fall so I just barely don't hit a pole >get up, tell vice principal, he calls everyone who saw it over >oh shit oh shit I don't even know half of these people >they all say i did nothing wrong >vice principal says he wants to get me in trouble too but has no proof I started shit with the fat kid >fat kid gets suspended for three days >comes back, says we're cool, brofists me >wat
Anonymous
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>>12335939 Beats me.
Then again, he was pretty new to this, and he was also pretty spineless.
There is also the fact that it was a super prude private school, and if word that some of the students smoked pot got out, it'd cause a shit storm, to them keeping face/keeping the school free of drugs/pulling in max cash > racism and other faggotry.
Anonymous
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>highschool >sophomore year >math class >big fucking class, long way to the back >teacher is old, he had a back injury the year before >he is strung out on painkillers, doped up for most of the day, especially after lunch when our class is. >I constantly make pigeon bird call sounds at the back of the room when he is going through the lesson at the front >most of the class smiles and looks at me >teacher "who ever keeps making those sounds please stop" >my friends plus most of the class "what are you talking about? we don't hear anything"
Anonymous
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Go in class with 2 other people for 4 years. Having a hard time to concentrate. Really calm class and the 2 teatcher we have are really nice. Move home, Start in class with 30 other children, they scream, shout. violent, Throw stuff, glue peoples books together, water in backpacks, destroying jackets>Oh god.. why have i come home?!
charli kaley
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>crazy seriously most scary kid in 7th-8th grade in my class >showed up to school stoned in the 7th grade all the time >anger issues, yelled at teachers, threw around desks, banged walls when he was pissed >literally masturbated his penis during a state test in class >had like 73 absences in 8th grade from truancy >mean to like everybody, nobody confronts him, got into fight on like the 3rd day of 8th grade and fucked the kid up >dealt drugs in 8th grade, stole stuff, ran with a "gang" of high schoolers, he was seriously tough as a bowl of nails without any milk >have nothing against him, don't really talk to him >one day at lunch he starts bothering me >tell him to stop >he continues >fire back one witty remark >it escalates, he's pissed >really starts insulting me >rage mode, tackle him into the dust and asphalt, really gritty and jsut awesome to remember. >he wrestles me off him, mumbles angrily, curses me out, walks away. >cool from then on >seriously very cool. joke around, fun to be had. ohsoalpha>i hear he's really trying hard in high school now and is a respectable student who wants to be a doctor someday. >goodforhim!.jpg
Anonymous
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>>12327490 wtfamirading.jpeg
Anonymous
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>In art class in middle school, 7th grade >Hated teacher, always fucked with her >this particular day I spray painted my name on all the tables(there were paper bags taped over all the tables) >squirted a bottle of green paint into teachers chair >poured a bottle of glue on table This was on the last art class of the year mind you, so I was intending to hit summer with a bang>Sent to principal's office for the glue thing >teacher forgets to say I'm coming down >sitting there missing classes for 2 periods looking at yearbooks with a friend who got sent there too >Teacher comes by to tell principal about the paint thing, doesn't know who did it or what period it happened in >Nobody cares about the glue thing now because the paint was smeared all over her ass >They go to talk in principals office, I'm still sitting there >2 8th grade girls walk by, one my then gf >tell them why I'm there, say I think they know I did the paint thing >gf decides to confess to putting the paint in the chair and saying it was an accident >lol >last day, didn't really care about her and she was going to hs, last time I saw her >lol more I miss middle school. All I did was fuck around all day everyday. Colleges don't give a shit about what you did until highschool so I never did anything.... good fucking times.
Anonymous
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let's archive this shit now... 3 requests so far archiveblox
Anonymous
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>6th Grade >Like the lazy fuck i was, i copy and pasted an entire article for my assingment >Teacher sees me doing it >Yells at me to give me the paper >I felt like running from the fat bitch >Ran around a table a couple of times >Told her that if she would lay her mouth of them twinkies should could catch me >I run to the office >I get to stay in the office for the rest of the day >The main story all my friends and i talk about when remembering that year >mfw
Anonymous
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>freshman >do weapon demonstration with 12th grade brother in a talent show like 2 months into the year >Was using a bo (think donatello) >pretty much left alone >10th grade brothers gone so pretty much the only badass in school (it's fucking Canada and a small town) >two 12th graders walk up to me when i'm walking home one has a long stick >"what now bitch I have the stick?" >tries to hit me >grab it >yank it out of his hands >break it over my knee >take one step towards them and they bolt >everyone waiting for the buses saw it Later on:>end up helping the two kids with math >really shy normally so they introduce me to some girls >still help them with math on occasion Life's weird man
Anonymous
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Just thought of one.>Sociology class, senior year of high school >Have a class with best friend (only the 3rd class in the 7 years I knew him we had together) >Teacher does assignment where we walk to different parts of the rooms depending on which point of view we have on a certain subject >Friend and I sit on one side of the room on a counter the whole time, just because dont really feel like moving at all. >Successfully argue the points given, no matter which approach we have to take. >I come up with many ideas, he articulates them, Im too introverted and he is the exact opposite >Fairly controversial subject comes up, we still dont feel like getting up so we come up with the counterpoint. Its been so long since then, I cant remember what it was. >Everyone but us is on the other side of the class, shocked to see us there >We validly argue the position and end up converting a few people over to our side and making many others feel stupid. >Bros for life
Anonymous
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Does no-one on 4chan know how to spell "princepelle" correctly?
Anonymous
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>>12331191 at least you included him into the game
Anonymous
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When I was in 5th grade me and my friends would play Ed,Edd, & Eddy (yes), I was Ed because I never did any schoolwork. Come to think of it; one of my friends whom I played with was a Jehovah's Witness that somehow knew of the show, he also was a big fan of Predator.
Anonymous
Threads kinda dead so I'm umping with my story.>Internationalfag here went to a British School in Austria >Troll Music teacher all year long. >Behave bad as fuck but she doesn't get on my case because my classmates were trolling her hardcore >Music teacher is a lesbian with hairy armpits >Find out her home adress, send her some deodorant and some deodorant ....>Another time I'm up there doing an oral presentation >Everybody's talking >Tells the class that she'll give me a zero if they continue talking >Talking continues >Tells me she's giving me a zero >Dun really give a fuck about the class but decide to rage for fun >Take a handful of coins from and throw them against the wall really hard as I'm raging >Teacher's stunned >MFW I continue my presentation like nothing happened ....>Another time draw a huge dick on the playground, where like the elementary kids walked by. >Teacher somehow finds out I did it (Somebody ratted me out) >Imply it wasn't me >Insists I did it >Have to clean up the drawing and no further punishments were given. Man, my freshman year was a blast I have I have a shitload more stories to tell.
Anonymous
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Thanks for your request. It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made. This thread has been requested 6 times now. Come on, assbaskets, archive!
Anonymous
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Bump for moar and for archive
Anonymous
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>>12338202 ...but...but where did the change come from?
Anonymous
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>Junior year of high school >Substitute teacher in AP English III >Friend and I switch spots >Halfway through class, admit that we had switched spots and she had our names switched >She thinks we're joking >We're laughing, but we get the rest of the class to back us up and she believes us >Senior year >Same substitute in AP Literature >Sit in our assigned seats this time >She tells us to switch seats and mixes up our names >It was pretty much the same group as the English III class, so we all start laughing hysterically >She remembers what happened the year before and laughs it off, calls both of us "hey, you, whatever your name is" for the rest of the class Substitutes are always either batshit insane or total bros
Anonymous
>Be in 2nd or 3rd grade >All boys had to skip/jog the long path to the bathrooms since they were farther than the girls' >One day me and my bros decide its time to play Mario Kart >We all pick our characters and then start at a certain crack in the pavement. >3...2...1...GO!!! >We speed down the path to get to the pisser first. >One friend trips on nothing. Totally eats shit hard. >All of us turn and see. >LOL >Keep racing, DGAF >We get to the bathroom (I don't fucking remember who won, but it was still awesome) >All piss in urinals >About one minute later kid who fell comes in, face all bloody, knee and hands scraped up. Crying. >In an angry/pissy/whiny voice he yells "8TH, 8TH, 8TH, 8TH, 8TH!!!!!" While pointing at us individually. (This was supposed to the be the place we came in for laughing at him. And he had sort of a lisp, so it sounded more like AAIFF, AAIFF, AAIFF, AAIFF, AAIFF!!!!!) >We all had finished pissing at this point. >Just look at him >BUST OUT LAUGHING DGAF!!!! >He bawws
Anonymous
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>>12338743 another story from the same grade
>FUCKING PAINTING!!!! >Me and my bro are told to go to the bathrooms to wash our brushes after finishing painting. >We sword fight with the paint brushes the whole way there. >Get to the bathrooms, continue sword fighting. >Finish the fight and wash them fuckers up. >Teacher walks in. >"I was told you two were sword fighting with your brushes!!" >"Uhh...no we weren't." >"Yes you were" >"No we weren't" >"YES YOU WERE!" >She yanks them out of our hands and tells us we are going to get a blue slip (My elementary school's discipline worked on a color coded system. Yellow meant warning, Blue principal [fuckers] and red was ZOMFG. I never knew anyone who got a red slip.) >We laugh the entire way to the office while the teacher escorts us. >STILL DGAF >Talk with principal. >Calls parents. >Fucking grounded. >Gave a fuck ._. Anonymous
>Archive pl0x 8488 Caltoron
Anonymous
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>>12339134 >>12339134 DO THA ARCHIVON~!!!!
Anonymous
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:C plz don't dead
Anonymous
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>High School >Study Hall >Nearly every day, would go to the library for study hall with bros >Would play chess >Library has a strict "no games" bullshit policy >Director who's a bitch sees us playing chess >Director: No games here >Us: But chess is a thinking gentleman's game >Director stands her ground >Threatens to kick us out >Nice library lady overhears our argument >Comes over and hears both sides of "argument" >Takes our side >Director leaves >Brofists Later, we'd end up playing Blackjack or Texas Hold'em with no shit fromt he Director.
Anonymous
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How in the fuck did I miss this thread? Bizzump.