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See Lazlow, you see? I remember Jerry so well. He come in, he is like a broken man. But a half a man... A 'ma', if you will. He has no 'n' anymore, and his marriage is killing him! Where is the passion? She is gone, replaced by ugliness. You see, Lazlow, Mrs. Jerry... She is not a pretty lady! She is more like an offensive line, a tiger, big and hairy, but fertile. She gives Jerry five kids. But she is even bigger. Now she is like a whole offensive line. He feels no pride in himself. He has no pride in his marriage. He is ashamed of this wonderful lady, who bears him so many young. And he comes to me, and he cries: 'Fernando, save my marriage, I love my wife, even though she is a fat porker!' And I say 'Jerry, you are a man. It is a mans duty to love his wife, even if she is like a farmhouse.' Now, Jerry is saved."
I always felt kinda awkward since Martinez is my last name.