I heard Satan came by earlier with some kind of deal for you folks.

Of course, OF COURSE that ol' knock-off would be trying to cash in on my gig. Listen pals, there's only room for one slick shyster from down below around here, and let me tell ya - I was here first.

But I gotta say, ol' Lucy's done an okay job. A neat deal, with the senses and all. But quite frankly, it could use a little pizazz. Needs some moxie to it, because from the way it's set up right now, you'd be a stinkin' knucklehead to choose anything other than that little go-back-thirty-days watch. The Rose is nice, but with the watch, you can keep going back in time to retry conversations at your leisure. And that's a nice little kink, ain't it? As for the Monkey's Paw, that just sounds like a whole lot of bureaucracy, and that sure as me ain't worth moving into my place a score sooner.

So here's my deal.

The Watch: Stops time. Bam. Little click of the button, and the watch will count down for three hours (the watch ain't gonna work unless time is stopped). That means you've got three hours to do whatever your little heart pleases, and no one's gonna be able to stop ya. After that, there's a one hour cool-off time until you can use it again - hey, even Magic Watches get a little tired. The cost, you ask? Oh, it's nothing big, nothing big at all...just a teeeeeeeensy, tiny little month off your lifespan. Only a month! Twelve times you'd have to use that sucker just to live a year less.

Stay tuned, kiddos, I've got more.