>>158617675R.O.B. I got a problem
I'm a
freshman in college and it's everything I thought it to be. It's relaxing to finally be away from chaos at home, I like my professors, and I think it really allows me to flex my creativity and individuality.
But there's just something missing from my life.
Some days I get up well ahead of when I'm supposed to, and just stare at the ceiling for hours on end and just miss class. I don't feel like going out and subjecting myself. I usually eat alone unless I can find my one friend I made. I can't socialize with anyone. I really think my existence as a whole is pointless and me being here is just big waste of money.
I want to give up. I really do. I don't think I can make it. I'm pretty sure I already missed enough classes to get kicked out from them, but I can't even find the courage to talk to my professors or the school counselors.
By the way, I am diagnosed with depression, and do take medication. I'm sure if I brought this to their attention they may be a little forgiving on me not showing up but... ugh, I don't know.
And the thing is, it's only been eight weeks. I know for sure that once next semester comes things will be better. I'll get the courses I want at more convenient times, I'll be moving to a more conveniently located dorm, and half the douchebags will have left because they didn't make the sports teams.
I don't know why I'm even asking a tripfriend on a 4chan thread for this, but maybe because it's late and I'm a little strung out on rum and Xanax. And I'm desperate. I'm on the brink. I want to die.
There's something missing from my life, but... I don't know what it is. It isn't a girlfriend, it isn't money, whatever... I feel that even if I do make it through this, it would all be for nothing, and I'd still feel like I do now.
Help me.