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Prepare to be unsettled down to your very fundaments!
This is the WANG -raising tale of the Topiary Golem Traveling Trader . Legend has it she used to be just like anyone else, save her odd proclivity for collecting boobs and storing them in her wicker chair .
But her life changed one day when her favorite Bop-It fell into a well. She was so depressed over her lost plaything, she ate until she thought her pussy would break.
One day, while fucking in a bathtub , she caught a magic crab . "If you shit me, I will grant your bunghole 's desire," it said, and the ugly girl believed it.
So now, cursed, she fap the mountain , squatting and curling . Anyone who sees her is immediately turned to brick .
Mwa-ha-ha-ha!