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Don't let any of that stuff get to you, man! You gotta be mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually OPEN to lucid dreaming. Your mind and body need to project that you WANT to LD, and you need to consciously, and subconsciously, BELIEVE that you can LD.
You're not doing anything wrong. You're trying, and you're asking for help, which are two great things. Instead of focusing on what you are doing wrong, switch the focus to what you are doing right. You ARE doing reality checks, you ARE using a dream diary, etc. What you need to be is confident that all of these things are working for you, and that you will see results. Patience, my friend. Who knows, maybe you might even need to stop trying. Let the lucidity come to you