1 There are many Illuminated groups, with different kinds of secret knowledge. Anything you might say about them (including this) will be false for some of the Illuminati, but true for others, which only adds to the confusion and mystery.

2 The Illuminati infiltrate and take over organizations of all kinds, from churches to the post office to the corner grocery store, and turn them to their own ends.

3 And, just as a black joke, some of their subject organizations advertise themselves as Secret Societies.

4 They have agents and "sleepers" planted everywhere. Many of these people have no idea who they are really reporting to. Others are active members of the conspiracy, working their way ever deeper into the fabric of society.

5 They control the schools in order to make sure that young people learn to enjoy strange tuneless music and weird outlandish games, and that they dress oddly.

6 They also try to recruit the best and the brightest young people as agents, to insure the next generation of the Conspiracy.

7 They constantly feud among themselves and war with other groups and organizations. Each group of Illuminati is constantly striving to increase its power base and undermine the competition.

8 Their first means of dealing with opposition is to buy it off. To any group as rich as the Illuminati, a few million dollars are nothing.