/x/ - Paranormal » Thread #7557226

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:35:00 No.7557226 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Supernatural Corruption.

You wish for something, and then corrupt the previous poster's supernatural wish by being creative and/or creepy. (ex:)
Poster 1: I wish I could breathe underwater
Poster 2: You can now breathe underwater! But now being underwater is the only place you can breathe. You will have to abandon everything and everyone on land for a survivalist life in the sea. Enjoy dodging sharks and being eaten by Cthulhu!
- - - - - [Poster 2 posts his wish]

And so on.

I'll start:
I wish to have night vision.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:37:00 No.7557240 Report

Quoted By:

i wish i was GOD

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:37:00 No.7557242 Report

Quoted By:

You now have night vision, but you will see things in the dark that will make you never want to close your eyes again. Speaking of which, when you do you will see the insides of your own eyelids perfectly. Enjoy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:41:00 No.7557276 Report

Quoted By: >>7557290

You can now see extremely well in the night, but the sun is too bright during the day. You must always stay out of the sun.

I wish I could teleport.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:41:00 No.7557277 Report

Quoted By: >>7557307

You didn't specify any kind of night vision, so now you can only see at night. During the day, you're blind.

I wish.. I could turn invisible.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:42:00 No.7557290 Report

Quoted By: >>7557312

>>7557276
Congrats! You can now teleport, but the downside is that you can't see where you're teleporting to. You'll always show up somewhere random, hopefully not in the middle of a warzone or the ocean.

I wish I could control the weather.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 01:45:00 No.7557307 Report

Quoted By: >>7557314

>>7557277
You are now invisible, but you can't wear clothes to make undetectable, you will suffer the cold and heat, your mind also will be damaged, isolating from the world and the people you love. You will become hateful, paranoid and power hunger.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 01:46:00 No.7557312 Report

Quoted By: >>7557324 >>7557328

>>7557290
You can control the weather but it is always to an extreme circumstance. Wish for snow and you get a blizzard, wish for warmth and you get drought.

I wish I had telekinesis.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 01:47:00 No.7557314 Report

Quoted By: >>7557327

>>7557307
I wish I could control people's mind.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:50:00 No.7557324 Report

Quoted By: >>7557358

>>7557312
You are now constantly hearing everything that passes through the mind of everyone within a fifty mile radius.
I wish I controlled luck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:50:00 No.7557325 Report

Quoted By: >>7557436 >>7559655

i wish i could make things grow and shrink (such as my BOOBIES)

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:50:00 No.7557327 Report

Quoted By: >>7557342

>>7557314

You can now control my mind.

You will have a long, healthy, luxurious life.

I hereby hand over all possessions to you.

You are now a meme.

You are an oldfag.

You are epin /x/.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:50:00 No.7557328 Report

Quoted By: >>7557351 >>7557359

>>7557312
You now have telekinesis, but you can only lift as much as you could lift normally with your own arms. If you're already lifting something in your arms, the amount you could be able to move with your mind at the same time would be the difference of the weight of the object already in your arms and your maximum capped strength.

I wish to be able to get rich without trying.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:52:00 No.7557336 Report

Quoted By: >>7557370

I wish I would have power over electricity

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 01:53:00 No.7557342 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557327
Sounds like a good deal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:54:00 No.7557351 Report

Quoted By: >>7557375 >>7557386

>>7557328

You have wished you could become rich without trying, and over night have begun to feel sick. You are soon diagnosed with iron poisoning and will soon die. Doctor's cannot figure out how your body has managed to become so rich in minerals, but it has.

You suffer a slow, agonizing death.

I wish I could BATMAN!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:55:00 No.7557358 Report

Quoted By: >>7557391

>>7557324
You now control luck, but the outcome of anything lucky that happens to you now spread severe 'unluck' to those around you.

I wish I could phase through objects.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

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Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 01:55:00 No.7557359 Report

Quoted By: >>7557442

>>7557328
You are now rich!
Also your parents had a secret savings but are brutally murdered infront of you.
You are now batman.

I wish I had a jetpack.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:56:00 No.7557370 Report

Quoted By: >>7557390

>>7557336

You now have control over all forms of electricity, however this also extends to biological functions such as your own cardiac rhythm and neural impulses. Try not to fuck up!

I wish I had a never-depleted gas tank.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:57:00 No.7557375 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557351
You can now BATMAN forever, in your own two dimensional world of slightly-off physics. It turns out you've become full on autistic to those around you.. but to you.. you're BATMAN.

I wish I had 6th sense.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 01:58:00 No.7557386 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557351
You are now Batman.
Unfortunately you have contracted a rare virus from another world and are the only one smart enough to fix this. The symptoms of the virus include loss of motorskills and the inability to speak. You become a vegitable with a brain

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:59:00 No.7557390 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557370
congratulations! your car now has an unlimited amount of gasoline in it! just don't crash because if it catches fire, it's not going out. The fires will spread throughout the continent destroying everything you know and love.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 01:59:00 No.7557391 Report

Quoted By: >>7557401 >>7557402

>>7557358
You are now completely unable to touch anything. Everything you try to touch simply slips through you.

I wish I could control the dreams of everyone.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:01:00 No.7557401 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557391
congratulations! you can now manipulate anyone's dreams in whatever way you want! but now you look like this and nobody will ever love you again.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:01:00 No.7557402 Report

Quoted By: >>7557428

>>7557391
You now control the dreams of everyone, but you are now confined to exist only within those dreams never having a dream of your own again.

I wish someone would answer my other wish.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:03:00 No.7557411 Report

Quoted By: >>7557431

i wish i was an earth-bender

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:06:00 No.7557428 Report

Quoted By: >>7557465 >>7557479

>>7557402
All you ever read or hear or see for the rest of your life is corruptions of your wish to own a jetpack.

I wish that I could stretch, expand, or shrink any part of my anatomy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:06:00 No.7557431 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557411

Would you settle for being a regular bender?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:07:00 No.7557436 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557325
You can only use the power once per object. So if you made your tits big you could never reverse the process, or if you shrunk yourself (borrowers style) you'd never be able to get back to normal hieght.

I wish to have super stretchy limbs!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:08:00 No.7557442 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557359
Congratulations! You now have a jetpack, but it can't be turned off once it's turned on.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:11:00 No.7557465 Report

Quoted By: >>7557503

>>7557428
Once you have changed the parts of your anatomy, the change is permanent.

I wish I could listen to other's thoughts.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:13:00 No.7557479 Report

Quoted By: >>7557521 >>7557675

>>7557428
You are now Mr. Fantastic and everyone hates you, especially Doom.

Alt. You now can expand or the size of your anatomy. Your boned stay the same size so any severe stretching or shrinking could result in permanant immobility.

I wish I could transfer my soul to another living being upon death and take over said host body.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:15:00 No.7557503 Report

Quoted By: >>7557522

>>7557465
You can hear other people's thoughts, but the mix between banal and horrifying thoughts drives you insane.

Desert Rat !!Mbrknqgx1Xk

Desert Rat !!Mbrknqgx1Xk Mon 02 May 2011 02:17:00 No.7557521 Report

Quoted By: >>7557590

>>7557479
But your power does not let you have the choice of choosing who you take over or when, so when your current body dies you're in the vincity of a 368-pound fatman who spends his time fapping and mooching off of his eighty year old mother.

I advise you to an hero as soon as possible.

I wish that I can find my fucking left sock.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:17:00 No.7557522 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557503
Also, the vast majority of those thougths are useless.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:21:00 No.7557574 Report

Quoted By:

pic very, very much so related.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:23:00 No.7557590 Report

Quoted By: >>7557616 >>7557625

>>7557521
You found your fucking left sock. Unfortunately so did a bear. Either you loose the sock or die trying to get it back unfortunately you aren't armed due to the fact that you were looking for a sock.

I wish I had a magic carpet.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:26:00 No.7557616 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557590
congrats! you have a magic carpet!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:26:00 No.7557620 Report

Quoted By: >>7557658

I wish I had the power to help people who are miles away.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:27:00 No.7557625 Report

Quoted By: >>7557655

>>7557590
The magic carpet is magical it holds magic. You have no idea how you could use this to your advantage nor do you know the actual nature of said magic.
All in all, it's just a normal carpet with some strange backstory. That's it...

I wish eternal happiness.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:30:00 No.7557655 Report

Quoted By: >>7557680 >>7557698

>>7557625
>I'mactuallyokwiththis.jpeg

You are now eternally happy. Unfortunatly everyone you come in contact is eternally depressed and therefor greatly resent your eternal happiness.

I wish I had D-Cups of Justice!

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:31:00 No.7557658 Report

Quoted By: >>7557684

>>7557620
You have the power, but there a millions miles away from where you are. You can't help everyone at the same time, so you don't do anything. The guilt drives you tou suicide.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:33:00 No.7557675 Report

Quoted By: >>7557699

>>7557479

You can now do that, but the body will continue to rot as if it were still dead. You essentially become a zombie.

I wish I could fly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:33:00 No.7557680 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557655
You have D-cups, but you're also extremely obese and no one loves you.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:34:00 No.7557684 Report

Quoted By: >>7557719 >>7557724 >>7557734

>>7557658
Sorry: there are millions.

I whish I could talk with the dead.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:35:00 No.7557698 Report

Quoted By: >>7557706

>>7557655
>Unfortunatly everyone you come in contact is eternally depressed and therefor greatly resent your eternal happiness.
I don't give a fuck 'cause I am happy. Suck on that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:36:00 No.7557699 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557675
you can now fly.
oops, you flew too high, got the bends, and blacked out.
now you're plummeting to earth.
*splat*

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:36:00 No.7557706 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557698
Yeah, that's the spirit!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:38:00 No.7557719 Report

Quoted By: >>7557730 >>7557739

>>7557684

Congratulations! You can now speak to the dead! But, it seems all they say is "Braaaiiinnsss..." They also seem to be more sensitive towards you since you seem to speak their language. Enjoy having millions of zombies eat out your brains!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:38:00 No.7557724 Report

Quoted By: >>7557739 >>7557754

>>7557684
Granted, but dead can only speak to eachother in the afterlife, so you're now dead and stuck in hell for all eternity.

I wish I was a pony.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:39:00 No.7557730 Report

Quoted By: >>7557743 >>7557747

>>7557719
I wish I had infinite knowledge in all the subjects.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:39:00 No.7557734 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557684
You can now communicate with the dead. Everytime you do this however it drains a little bit of your life force bringing you closer to death with each conversation.

I wish I could drain other peoples life force to replenish my own.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:40:00 No.7557738 Report

Quoted By:

I wish I was Cthulu.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:40:00 No.7557739 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557719
>>7557724
Sounds like a Brian Lumley novel.
>>7557724
Congratulations, you are now even more gay than Elton John and Boy Geroge combined.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:41:00 No.7557743 Report

Quoted By: >>7557797 >>7557801

>>7557730
Granted, but with your newfound knowledge you soon grow bored and depressed, and kill yourself before you put it to any use.

I wish Dogola and Aeris left.

!Aeris47Q2o

!Aeris47Q2o Mon 02 May 2011 02:41:00 No.7557747 Report

Quoted By: >>7557765 >>7557768

>>7557730
You now know everything--every lie, every truth, every detail of the past, every detail of the future. Still have faith in humanity? How about the constant pain of knowing when you and your loved ones are going to die?

I wish I was pretty.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:42:00 No.7557754 Report

Quoted By: >>7557783 >>7557812 >>7557826

>>7557724
Congratulations! You transformed into a pony somehow! However, you've come up in the hands of a little girl who abuses you to impress her friends, alongside a father who's also a butcher! Things aren't really looking up for you.

I wish that anything I cooked would taste like a gourmet meal

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:43:00 No.7557765 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557747
You are now pretty, but you're now shallow and bitchy, so no one likes you or wants to be with you.

TheCake !ZptheCake.

TheCake !ZptheCake. Mon 02 May 2011 02:43:00 No.7557768 Report

Quoted By: >>7557788

>>7557747
Granted, but your beauty makes you the envy of everyone out there. The opposite gender will hunt you, beat you, and rape you. People of your own gender will hate you and despise you.

I wish I was smarter

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:44:00 No.7557783 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557754
Granted, but everybody wantd you. You stop having a life of your own, and spend days and days in the kitchen.

!Aeris47Q2o

!Aeris47Q2o Mon 02 May 2011 02:44:00 No.7557788 Report

Quoted By: >>7557802

>>7557768
Gtz, you're smarter, but you're now an aspie and you have awful eyesight.

Lord English !SHITafMrCc

Lord English !SHITafMrCc Mon 02 May 2011 02:45:00 No.7557789 Report

Quoted By:

I WANT TO BE A PSUEDO-UPPER-CLASS FAIRY WITH RAINBOW WINGS AND ALSO A WALK-IN CLOSET FULL OF NECKTIES.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:45:00 No.7557791 Report

Quoted By: >>7557839

We are a cruel bunch of genies. :D

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:45:00 No.7557797 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557743
Well lookie at this! That faggot Aeris left! However, she gets replaced by a even bigger faggot who soon overruns /x/ with her team of 'supreme hackers' that turn out to be a collage of midgets in her basement! Well...Umm...

FUCK.

I wish I had a toy gun that could kill people when I pointed at them and said, "BAM"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:45:00 No.7557801 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557743
For them to leave ppl have stop speaking of them.
They are irrelevant,and they are not paranormal.

TheCake !ZptheCake.

TheCake !ZptheCake. Mon 02 May 2011 02:46:00 No.7557802 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557788
imokwiththis.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:47:00 No.7557812 Report

Quoted By: >>7559487 >>7559504

>>7557754
congrats! everything you cook is a gourmet meal!
you try to toast a pop-tart.
it tastes like prime steak with Alaskan king crab legs with a side of coconut rice.
you realize you will never taste pop-tarts again.
you hang yourself 6 days later.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:47:00 No.7557826 Report

Quoted By: >>7557837 >>7557851 >>7557853

>>7557754
Granted! Everything you cook becomes a gourmet meal! But variety is the spice of life, right? You need something new and flavorful, something nobody has ever cooked before! You realize that a group of schoolchildren walk past your home every afternoon, and you can't help but wonder how delicious they'd taste in a stew.
I wish I could control objects with my mind (telekinesis)

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:49:00 No.7557837 Report

Quoted By: >>7557887 >>7558001

>>7557826
Granted, b ut the only "objects" you manage to control with your mind are cats.
Enjoy your power of lifting cats.

I wish I was happy without consciquences.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:49:00 No.7557839 Report

Quoted By: >>7557857

>>7557791
Have you read the Arabian Nights? The genies are major assholes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:50:00 No.7557851 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557826
Granted! You can now move objects with your mind; however, everything you try to move with your mind also bursts into flames. Enjoy.

Lord English !SHITafMrCc

Lord English !SHITafMrCc Mon 02 May 2011 02:51:00 No.7557853 Report

Quoted By: >>7557864 >>7557871 >>7557873 >>7557896

>>7557826
YOU END UP NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR NEW POWER AND YOU KILL EVERYONE BY ACCIDENT.

I want to be a fairy with rainbow wings and a walk-in closet full of neckties, like I said before.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS.

Rude !qRJg1KGZS. Mon 02 May 2011 02:51:00 No.7557857 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557839
Almost any genie that isn't in a story for kids is an ironic asshole. You want this? Well fuck you now you're miserable.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:52:00 No.7557864 Report

Quoted By: >>7558004 >>7558090

>>7557853

But then you realize you're on a lifeless plant, void of sentient life. At least you can play your wings?

I wish I could seamlessly write stories whose words have the perfect flow and excellent structure with the soul of the literal piece itself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:53:00 No.7557871 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557853
>I want to be a fairy with rainbow wings and a walk-in closet full of neckties, like I said before.
Granted, but your penis is now fucking huge.

I wish Stargate SG:1 was refreshed for another 20 seasons.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:53:00 No.7557873 Report

Quoted By: >>7557877 >>7557878

>>7557853
Granted, but there is no one else in the world to show off your flashy neckties to.

I wish I was green.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:54:00 No.7557877 Report

Quoted By: >>7557893 >>7557924

>>7557873
Granted, but "green" now refers to the color you know as pink.

I wish I had a coca-cola swimming pool

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:54:00 No.7557878 Report

Quoted By: >>7557889

>>7557873
Granted, but everyone thinks you're a dick.

I wish I could do killer backflips

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:55:00 No.7557887 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557837
My army of flying cats and I ride at dawn.
And your wish is granted! No matter what you do, or what happens to you, you are happy! Of course, when you're only eveer happy, people tend to think something's wrong with you, so they eventually lock you away in a psych ward. But hey, you're happy right? Doesn't matter if nobody ever comes to visit you, or the only human contact you get is from your handlers, you got the last laugh, right? And you do! You laugh and laugh and laugh.... forever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:55:00 No.7557889 Report

Quoted By: >>7557959 >>7557968 >>7557976

>>7557878
Granted but a killer backflips you to death.

I wish every single copypasta on this board was real

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 02:55:00 No.7557893 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557877
Granted, but your dentist bill skyrocket and in the long term you die from diabetes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:56:00 No.7557896 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557853
Congratulations, you became a...umm... fairy with rainbow wings and a walk-in closet full of neckties...Well, not the gayest thing I've ever heard, but, jesus, your trying. Either way, your next-door neighbor turns out to be an ogre that hates ties. The next day, the rainbow-winged fairy police find your body in the yard of the orge, with a necktie forced around your head, which seems to be the only thing left of you...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:56:00 No.7557902 Report

Quoted By: >>7557909 >>7557926

I wish i could travel at the speed of light

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:57:00 No.7557909 Report

Quoted By: >>7557939 >>7557961 >>7557990 >>7558052

>>7557902
Granted, but you're now a black person.

I wish I could succeed at everything in life without any downside or consequence.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 02:59:00 No.7557924 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557877
Granted! But Coke evaporates eventually, leaving a sticky, sugary residue behind. Which is a problem because that attract flies, lots and lots of flies. And what are flies gonna do? Lay eggs of course! So now there's a huge mass of maggots in your once glorious pool. And you notice one is getting bigger than the others. Like, size of a Saint Bernard bigger. You can't help but wonder what it will be like when it hatches.
I'm not wishing anymore, corrupting is just to much fun!

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:00:00 No.7557926 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557902
You are now Barry Allen.
The bad part, shitty writers ruinning your life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:01:00 No.7557939 Report

Quoted By: >>7557969 >>7557978

>>7557909
Congratulations! Now everyone in the world hates you and is out to kill you.

I wish my cat was a human.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:04:00 No.7557952 Report

Quoted By:

I wish I was Lord Dunsanny.

spyro !0LFYIaDrlg!!EdIKfXLklQV

spyro !0LFYIaDrlg!!EdIKfXLklQV Mon 02 May 2011 03:04:00 No.7557953 Report

Quoted By: >>7557992 >>7558044

I wish I could be infected by some sort of alien virus that turns me inmune and immortal while the other people around my town get infected.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:04:00 No.7557959 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557889
Granted! Additionally, you realize any new creepypasta posted instantly becomes real! You decide to use this new power to write a horrifying creepypasta about a serial killer that kills anyone who reads it. You figure if you send it to a few of you enemies, it will be a perfect way to eliminate them with no repercussions! you are about to upload it, when suddenly you realize, far too late, that you have already read it while writing it. Better start running.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:05:00 No.7557961 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557909
Congratulations, you've seemingly become perfect at everything you do! You never make a mistake, never miss, never get hit, really, everything goes your way! Of course, people tend to get jealous easily, and being perfect at things they wish they could do is pretty much just slapping them in the face. In the end, you're really damn hated, having to pay extra for everything, getting spat on by everybody, and having to hear untrue gossip about you behind your back everyday. Taking this abuse is too much for your mind, as it all gathers up into a gigantic depression, where, you perfectly killed yourself. Really, the execution of the suicide was just beautiful, perfectly preformed. Just beautiful, really. Just. PERFECT.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:05:00 No.7557965 Report

Quoted By: >>7557981

I wish fo an ice cold watermelon, /x/.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:05:00 No.7557968 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557889
Congratulations, you just killed the human race.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of apples.
Shit's fucking cash.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:05:00 No.7557969 Report

Quoted By: >>7558013 >>7558053 >>7558058

>>7557939
Your cat is now human, but it is extremely hideous. It still thinks it is a cat so I walks around naked on all fours.
I wish I had the power of Kirby.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:06:00 No.7557976 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557889
Granted. The rake decides to pay you a visit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:07:00 No.7557978 Report

Quoted By: >>7558013 >>7558032

>>7557939
Congratulations! Your cat is now human. Or at least, his little cat mind has been put into a human body. Enjoy feeding and cleaning up after a 30-something guy who only "meows" and doesn't understand why it's bad to tear up the carpets to see what's under them.

I wish I had a hamburger.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:07:00 No.7557981 Report

Quoted By: >>7558007

>>7557965
Congratulations, you have a watermelon stuck in a block of ice that can never be unfrozen.

I wish I never had to sleep again and still be fully energized and alert.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:08:00 No.7557990 Report

Quoted By: >>7558011

>>7557909
You succeed at everything and end up becoming the ruler of the world, you are now far too great for normal peons and everyone is in fear of your power, you die truly alone.

I wish my dick was 2 inches bigger

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:08:00 No.7557992 Report

Quoted By: >>7558015

>>7557953
Okay, everybody is infected except you, but the side effect turns you into the same type of alien where the virus came from. Eventually, the space marines kill you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:08:00 No.7558001 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557837
You are now a horribly ugly, stupid, weak, and poor foreveralone named happywithoutconsequences who lives with his mother and does nothing but browse 4chan, all day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:09:00 No.7558004 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557864

No corruption? :3

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:09:00 No.7558007 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557981
your mind becomes too alert, you are never able to rest or lie to sleep with the one you love, this scares all women/men away from you and you die alone and insane.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:09:00 No.7558011 Report

Quoted By: >>7558033 >>7558079

>>7557990
unfortunately it's still only 3 inches long.
I want to be Slender Man.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:09:00 No.7558013 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557978
Congratulations! You've just developed Mad Cow Disease!

>>7557969
Grats, you're a pink ball with four stubs as limbs. You are such a hideously deformed mutant you're constantly dissected by scientists.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 34KiB, 338x550

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:09:00 No.7558014 Report

Quoted By:

Persnip-pitty-snip!

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:10:00 No.7558015 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557992
But they can't, so they frozen you and put in a lab to perform probes on your green, slimy ass.

spyro !0LFYIaDrlg!!EdIKfXLklQV

spyro !0LFYIaDrlg!!EdIKfXLklQV Mon 02 May 2011 03:11:00 No.7558032 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557978

Your hamburger is made of tofu meat, anyways you eat it, and after you eat it, every other meal you have will taste the same as that awful hamburger.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:11:00 No.7558033 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558011
the day you become a slender man a women you have always liked comes to you and proclaims her love for you, but she looks disappointed and says "This is no good, i fell in love with the chubby cuddley you, i can't do this" she kills herself in self doubt and you kill yourself with grief.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:12:00 No.7558044 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557953
Granted! And life is good, right? Never mind that as the alien virus slowly replaces your inferior human DNA with everlasting alien DNA, you suffer huge amounts of pain, like your very bones were on fire. And hey, so what if your new immortal body has new , uh, metabolic requirements? That little girl didn't suffer for long. Yes, the sond of bones snapping like twigs, and muscle being torn away from her body was a bit unsettling, but you couldn't help yourself! and it's not like you enjoyed it, right? Right?

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:13:00 No.7558050 Report

Quoted By:

No backslash for being Lord Dunsany?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:13:00 No.7558052 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557909
You are now Mr. win, but this gives you no satisfaction, and it is the only thing that you can think about, ever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:13:00 No.7558053 Report

Quoted By: >>7558082 >>7558096 >>7558161

>>7557969
Congratulations! You have the powers of the ever-so-famous superhero, Kirby! Of course, every time you seem to breathe, your powers activate. And, you know...Humans NEED air, so, eventually, from holding your breathe to keep everyone safe, you die from lack of oxygen. "Sucks," doesn't it? Heh, heh...

I wish everything I created or made would be considered art.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:14:00 No.7558058 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557969
I can has corruption?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:14:00 No.7558059 Report

Quoted By: >>7558085 >>7558087 >>7558112 >>7558188 >>7558465

I wish I had complete mastery over time (rewind/freeze/fast forward time from a personal level all the way up to everything) haha, corrupt that /x

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 206KiB, 1299x1600

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:14:00 No.7558065 Report

Quoted By:

I hear a low buzzing sound in my head, do you hear it too?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 15KiB, 200x250

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:16:00 No.7558079 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558011

Congratulations! Wishmaster reduces you to a skeleton-like concentration camp refugee and quips, 'Pretty slender, man!'

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:16:00 No.7558081 Report

Quoted By:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taos_hum

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:17:00 No.7558082 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558053
Okay, you are the greatest artist ever. Then, the marchants kill you to increase the value of your works. But before the murder, they rape you.

Lord English !SHITafMrCc

Lord English !SHITafMrCc Mon 02 May 2011 03:17:00 No.7558085 Report

Quoted By: >>7558136

>>7558059
Okay, but you trigger a paradox with your AMAZIN TIEM SKILLZ and ruin everything.
I wish that there were more lolcows on my lolcow farm.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:17:00 No.7558087 Report

Quoted By: >>7558136

>>7558059
>>7558059
>>7558059
Granted, but you slip on the soap in the shower and die before you can try out your new power.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:18:00 No.7558090 Report

Quoted By: >>7558108

>>7557864
Granted! You become a world famous writer! Eventually, as you enter your twilight years, you are pressured to do an autobiography. You work endlessly, night after night, pouring your life story onto page after page. Your hopes, dreams, desires, and memories, all of it. You don't stop for food or sleep, because this storyt is special, it will be a reminder of a life, your life! Its soul is your soul! You won't stop writing until it is perfect, until it is finished! Unfortunately, when it is done, you will be too.
I'd corrupt more wishes faster, but I like to really corrupt them, and it takes time

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:19:00 No.7558096 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558053
At least I go out with dignity. Thank you good sir.

Dover Demon !eMGPKtKFVQ

Dover Demon !eMGPKtKFVQ Mon 02 May 2011 03:21:00 No.7558104 Report

Quoted By: >>7558130

I wish I could irrevocably prove the existence of cryptozoological creatures.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 43KiB, 300x225

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:21:00 No.7558108 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558090

Holy shit. Did not see that coming!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:22:00 No.7558112 Report

Quoted By: >>7558178 >>7558184

>>7558059

Congratulations, you seemingly have the power to control time. However! You may only visit times at which were the most painful for you! And, just to add insult to injury, these time-traveling events seemingly happen at random times! Having that date with your future wife? Well, not anymore, when you go back in time to remember how your mother beat you with a belt back when you were 8!

I wish I could go in and out of slow-motion in my life.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:24:00 No.7558130 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558104
Granted, and you become famous, but the showbussines turns you into some kind of Steve Irwin, making a fool of youeself to impress the audience. You will die in the tentacles of a Giant Octopus.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:25:00 No.7558136 Report

Quoted By: >>7558160 >>7558172 >>7558184

>>7558085
>>7558087

hahahaha, that's it? Very lame attempts, any specifics on this paradox? Also I wish for the ability to shapeshift, should be a little easier for u punks ^_^

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:29:00 No.7558160 Report

Quoted By: >>7558172 >>7558334

>>7558136
You are not the only one who can brag about that. Nobody even attempted to corrupt my wish.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:29:00 No.7558161 Report

Quoted By: >>7558177

>>7558053
Granted! Of course, you everything you create is art, and I mean EVERYTHING. People and critics follow you everywhere, waiting for you to crumple up a tissue or take a crap. Any object you change or affect is held up and marveled as a thing of wonder. Eventually, it is just to much for you. The crowds, the critques, the pressure! So you decide to end it. You dash to the top of a high building to escape the crowds. You stand at the edge of the roof, slit your throat, and fall over the edge. And oh, how beautiful it was! The blood droplets forming perfect little spheres before turing to red rain in freefall! And when you finally crash into the pavement, your ruined remains are so, so... perfect! The patterns, the hues, the way your entrails glistened in the sun! Everyone agrees, your last work was truly your greatest.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:30:00 No.7558172 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558160
>>7558136
Give me a minute, you two, I'm working on it! These things take time.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:31:00 No.7558177 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558161
And his remains are exhibited in the MOMA of New York.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:31:00 No.7558178 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558112
Now you can slow down time at your whim.
However, when you do your perception of the space is completely turned upside down. Left is right, down is up, front is back and so on. Good luck letting your brain cope with that.

I wish I could become omniopotent for a day once a year.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:32:00 No.7558184 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558136
please see
>>7558112

Either way, you seemingly have the power to shape-shift at will! Every animal ever considered alive is yours to transform into! However, it seems every animal can see through your disguise, so, you lost living with animals, but, you still got your human bros, right? Well, it seems your muscles taste like every animal combined into one powerfully amazing flavor that just as may make the taste buds explode! With nowhere to go, you end up living in a shack over at the Rocky Mountains, dying alone, and never seeing anybody you ever loved. Ever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:32:00 No.7558188 Report

Quoted By: >>7558228

>>7558059
You can control when you're going, but not where. So you end in a building with two snuff rapers.

I wish i could manipulate everything described in physics

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw. Mon 02 May 2011 03:36:00 No.7558228 Report

Quoted By: >>7558250 >>7558273 >>7558275

>>7558188
You can now manipulate everything described in physics, but you always have severe diarrhea.

I want to be able to fuck any bitch at any time in my room that i want, i just think of a random woman and bum she's there, and if someone walks into my room while this is happening they just see me sleeping.
Also i cant get them pregnant or catch stds and they always enjoy it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:37:00 No.7558233 Report

Quoted By:

Well, I wish that I could transform into a gigantic robot at will.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:38:00 No.7558250 Report

Quoted By: >>7558296 >>7558302

>>7558228
>>7558228
Eventually you get tired of fucking girls and become gay.

I wish i could destroy the universe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:39:00 No.7558252 Report

Quoted By: >>7558470 >>7558556

I wish to be Zeus-Cthulhu. Two Gods combined into one.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:41:00 No.7558273 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558228
They always enjoy it. But you, after years of shallow sex, begin to feel empty, without any purpose except being a fucking machine. You become depressed. And your dick starts to hurt.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:41:00 No.7558275 Report

Quoted By: >>7558316

>>7558228
Your phone rings, it's your grandma tellin something, you think about her. :S

I wish to live forever at age 19.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 152KiB, 400x245

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:43:00 No.7558290 Report

Quoted By:

you heard me

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:43:00 No.7558291 Report

Quoted By: >>7558361

I wish I had wings

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw. Mon 02 May 2011 03:44:00 No.7558296 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558250
You can now destroy the universe, but only after you have received 13 masters degrees from Harvard university.

I would like to have the power to make the dankest nugs of weed appear by snapping my fingers.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:44:00 No.7558302 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558250
Granted, but then, there's nothing else to destroy. An eternity of boredom and loneliness await for you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:47:00 No.7558316 Report

Quoted By: >>7558336 >>7558340

>>7558275

You will live forever at the age of 19.

In 70 or so years, everyone you know and care about know will die.

Time will seem to move faster and faster the longer you live. After a millenia, the people you meet and everything around you will seem like it is exploding in and out of existence. Live to be 10 000 years old and you will have lost the concept of time itself.

Humanity evolves, but you do not - you are a neanderthal now, a relic.

The Earth is annihilated in a collision with another planet. You are not floating in space for the rest of eternity. Alone.

And this shit is what would actually happen.

I want the power to eliminate the monetary system we live in.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:48:00 No.7558334 Report

Quoted By: >>7558370

>>7558160
Granted! You are Lord Dunsany, the 18th Baron of Dunsany (I hope ths the one you're talking about) you enjoy every aspect of his life, from serving in the Second Boer War, and WW1, to playing cricket and hunting on your estate. Of course, you need to write his works, after all. Shouldn't be a problem, right? But there is no Internet, no history of his works because he, or rather, you, haven't written them yet. But they need to be written, because his works are wonderful! You loved A Dreamer's Tales and The Hoard of the Gibbelins, that's why you wished for this! So you prepare to write, but you can't quite remember how it's supposed to go. You try again, and again, and AGAIN. Will Lord Dunsany ever be the great writer you saw him as? Or will he be a lonely recluse who spent his last years writing the same work, again and again and again......

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 03:49:00 No.7558336 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558316

Oh... now* floating.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:49:00 No.7558340 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558316
Okay, but the new currency will be rape dollars.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw. Mon 02 May 2011 03:52:00 No.7558361 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558291
You now have the wings that belonged to the last piece of chicken you ate.

Professor Romaniuk

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 17KiB, 400x267

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 03:53:00 No.7558370 Report

Quoted By: >>7558465

>>7558334

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:09:00 No.7558465 Report

Quoted By: >>7558968

>>7558370
You're welcome! And for>>7558059
I told you I'd get to you!
Congratulations! You are a Time God! There is nothing in time you can't reach! You are still bound by the other laws of nature, such as location and gravity and such. But you can speed up, slow down, or reverse time! Of, course, you soon find that there are things even a Time god cannot change or expect.Some things in this universe are simply meant to be. You killed Hitler, but some one else simply took his place. And how were you supposed to know that when you saved that man from being trampled by a horse, he would eventually have a son that would kill your grandfather in a bank robbery? Of course, with your grandfather dead before he met your grandmother, that causes problems for you, doesn't it? You try to save your grandfather, but everytime, something seems to go wrong. No matter what you try, you can feel yourself fading, your existence slowly nullifying. Like I said, some things in this universe are simply meant to be.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:10:00 No.7558470 Report

Quoted By: >>7558492 >>7558521

>>7558252

I love that absolutely nobody could think of one for mine.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:13:00 No.7558492 Report

Quoted By: >>7558497 >>7558519

>>7558470

Challenge accepted.

The first time you try to use your Zeus lightning bolt, you realise you are still in the city of R'leyh, under the water. You electrocute yourself and die.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:14:00 No.7558497 Report

Quoted By: >>7558519

>>7558492

Excuse me, R'lyeh.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:17:00 No.7558519 Report

Quoted By: >>7558527 >>7558534 >>7558563

>>7558492
>>7558497
Yeah but you didn't put up a new one and you plumbed the cosmic horror of pedantry so YOU'RE A DICK.

I wish that everyone I hate was dead

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:17:00 No.7558521 Report

Quoted By: >>7558565 >>7558595

>>7558470

Upon reaching this strange hybrid state, you realize that Zeus routinely committed incest with many of his fellow gods that he created. Cthulhu is the source of all madness and has no need for carnal pleasures.

but then you realize Zeus is Greek and Cthulhu is one big-ass Calamari..

You get your wish, then eat yourself.

---------

I wish for the ability to always have $200 in my wallet at any given time even if i remove it to pay for services or products. fuck the economy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:18:00 No.7558527 Report

Quoted By: >>7558539

>>7558519
Oh wait, yeah I hate myself I really set that one up. Fine.

I wish that everyone in the world shits themselves at the same time non lethally.

This is going to be hilarious

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:18:00 No.7558534 Report

Quoted By: >>7559339

>>7558519

wish granted. you committed suicide.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:20:00 No.7558539 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558527
wish granted. however you feel the pain of every torturous shit taken and go into shock from nervous overload.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:22:00 No.7558556 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558252
Don't be so sure!
You are Zeus-Cthulu! Women scream. brave men faint, and children cry at the mere mention of your name! You enjoy terrorizing the masses, firing lighting bolts from your various tentacles, and bringing thunderstorms down upon them. For those you have a specific hatred for, you trap them under Mount Etna, where the will be playthings for Typhon, your mighty monster pet. Of course, you aren't the only one who knows of the Necronomicon, and soon other fans of the Lovecraft mythos summon your cousins, the Great Elder Ones. They are soon joined by the Greek gods and goddesses. Your city of R'lyeh is destroyed, and you are cast down into the pits of Tartarus, where you must wait, constantly hungering, fo the end of the world, when you may rise again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:23:00 No.7558563 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558519

Hey man, pedantry or not, when the stars align and Cthulu rises up, I'm not going to be the one that misspelled the name of his hometown.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw.

ThreadKiller !H1HTK6APw. Mon 02 May 2011 04:23:00 No.7558565 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558521
You are now very forgetful and often forget to grab your wallet, or lose it often.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:26:00 No.7558586 Report

Quoted By:

Anybody here that didn't get their wish corrupted or wants a better corruption? I've done quite a few now, but I'm still game!

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 04:26:00 No.7558595 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558521
As you wish, but then, the dollar is no more the currency, it's now replaced by toothpicks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 04:55:00 No.7558741 Report

Quoted By: >>7558766 >>7558904

No one? C'mon, I was having fun!
I'll even wish again:
I wish I could understand and speak any language upon hearing it.

Professor Romaniuk

Professor Romaniuk Mon 02 May 2011 05:00:00 No.7558766 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558741
Como quieras, deseo saber todo lo que hay que saber acerca de lo paranormal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:21:00 No.7558882 Report

Quoted By:

Ahora ya sabe todo lo que hay que saber sobre lo paranormal! Usted sabe acerca de los fantasmas y los monstruos y los alienígenas! Desafortunadamente, ellos saben acerca de usted como well.They saber quién eres y dónde estás. Ahora todos los fantasmas que quiere ayudarles a pasar, y cada monstruo que quiere informar a la gente que es sólo una criatura incomprendida. Y los zombies? Sólo que desee, por su cerebro.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:25:00 No.7558904 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558741

Including animals. You intuitively understand the meanings behind any vocalisations. And animals are mostly full of hunger, fear, rage and lust.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 49KiB, 421x500

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:27:00 No.7558916 Report

Quoted By: >>7558942 >>7558945

I wish I were a hot loli.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:32:00 No.7558942 Report

Quoted By: >>7558968

>>7558916

You are now a hot loli.

Unfortunately, youonly exist in the pages of a guroo comic

I wish i control the flow of time

Sheep !!g/kst2xL26y

Sheep !!g/kst2xL26y Mon 02 May 2011 05:32:00 No.7558945 Report

Quoted By: >>7558954 >>7558991

>>7558916
You're now a hot loli, but, thing is, you are now in a place where everyone that wants to make beautiful love with you looks like an abomination.

I wish I could persuade anyone at anytime to do anything.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:35:00 No.7558954 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558945

You now have that power.

Unfortunately, it is not in your control, and people will do anything you say out loud.

one day, whilst walking down the street and passing 5 heavily built african americans, you see a picture of moot on a billboard, and mutter "fuck me!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:35:00 No.7558958 Report

Quoted By: >>7559176

I wish i have the power of pyrokinesis

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:36:00 No.7558966 Report

Quoted By: >>7559038

i wish i have the power of bullet time

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:36:00 No.7558968 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558942
See>>7558465
Not trying to be lazy, but someone wished for that power and I thought I wrote a good response

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:41:00 No.7558991 Report

Quoted By: >>7559071 >>7559097

>>7558945
you can persuade anybody at any time to do your bidding. but once their will is compromised, you are their eternal will-maker. their will is gone. you are the only person who can tell them what to do. they will follow you like mindless zombie slaves, awaiting their next command.

I wish for the ability to see into the future and know all future events.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:50:00 No.7559038 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558966
Granted! You now have the power of bullet time! Unfortunately, your life is always in bullet time. At first, it's great! You get everything done quickly compared to everyone else, and you can safe people from what otherwise would be deadly situations. Trapped in a fire? You can get eveyone out of the building before it is totally engulfed! Bank robbery? You knock all the robbers out efore they fire a shot! But eventually it catches up to you. What seems like seconds to everyone else, is really minutes and hours to you. You stare at the clock sometimes, wondering if it has stopped. Tick.....................................tock. Your family watches in horror as you age years in only a few weeks. Within a year or two of recieving your powers, you will be nothing but dust.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:56:00 No.7559071 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558991
Granted! You know the entire future! From who wins the next Superbowl, what gas prices will be in a week, or who will start the next war. Of course, you'll know the good and the bad. You know when the end will finally come. When mankind finally screws the pooch, and the cities of the world are in flames and the skies bloodred. You know when, you know why, and you know how. But no one believes you, no one heeds your warning. You can either hold your tongue and watch as humanity spirals towards its doom, or you can try in vain to warn them, only to be shunned and locked away.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 05:58:00 No.7559097 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558991

You can see them, but it turns out they are inevitable. Anything you do to change them, no matter how contrary or foolproof it seems, ends up causing just what you saw happen to happen.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:00:00 No.7559113 Report

Quoted By: >>7559154

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And... and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:06:00 No.7559154 Report

Quoted By: >>7559166 >>7559173

>>7559113
Sure thing buddy. A simple turkey sandwhich on rye bread. By which I presume you mean vegan "Turkey" and soggy pages of J.D Salingers classic book "The Catcher in the Rye." Enjoy.

Anyway I just wish my gf had bigger tits.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:08:00 No.7559166 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559154

She now has the biggest tits in the world, ever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:09:00 No.7559173 Report

Quoted By: >>7559180

>>7559154
Granted, she has the best and most perfect breast around. Needless to say, she immidiately breaks up with you and starts dating a guy much better than you.

I wish I had a cupcake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:10:00 No.7559176 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558958
You now have pyrokenesis. Unfortunately, you have no control over how greatly your power extends.

I wish wish I could read whoever's mind I wanted at will.

!AerisS/qUQ

!AerisS/qUQ Mon 02 May 2011 06:10:00 No.7559180 Report

Quoted By: >>7559199

>>7559173
Your wish is granted, but because of this cupcake, you develop a complex eating disorder that eventually leads to you taking your own life.
I want to not exist.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:12:00 No.7559199 Report

Quoted By: >>7559220 >>7559229

>>7559180
Granted, but I'm an awful genie so you will keep existing.

I wish I was a better genie.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:15:00 No.7559220 Report

Quoted By: >>7559230

>>7559199

As the worlds best genie, from this point on you must grant everyones wish just as they word it and intend it.

Everyones. Even the ones that would hurt other people. Even the ones that would mean destroying the world.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:17:00 No.7559229 Report

Quoted By: >>7559236

>>7559199
Granted, you are the cleverest genie to ever exist. Sadly you are trapped in your lamp which is buried under 500 feet of Egyptian sand.

I wish that M and I would finally settle down and stay in a romantic relationship.

World's Best Genie !!smT1KpHCf9Q

World's Best Genie !!smT1KpHCf9Q Mon 02 May 2011 06:17:00 No.7559230 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559220
Oh dear.

World's Best Genie !!smT1KpHCf9Q

World's Best Genie !!smT1KpHCf9Q Mon 02 May 2011 06:18:00 No.7559236 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559229
>I wish that M and I would finally settle down and stay in a romantic relationship.
Granted, you and M will finally settle down and stay in a romantic relationship.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:19:00 No.7559244 Report

Quoted By: >>7559271 >>7559302

I wish that my dick was one inch longer, and one inch thicker.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:23:00 No.7559271 Report

Quoted By: >>7559300

>>7559244
Granted your penis is now one inch longer and thicker, however you are now 1 foot shorter and 6 inches thinner.

I wish for super powers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:29:00 No.7559300 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559271
You now have super powers, but your powers are limited to lightning fast index finger movement and hair growth, and you have to kill a memeber of your family every time you want to use them.

I wish i could have a drink of peach cordial

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:29:00 No.7559302 Report

Quoted By: >>7559316

>>7559244
Granted, you penis size has increased overnight...due to a runaway cancerous growth.

I wish to be super-smart and able to control any machine, from nanobots, guns, to a space shuttle, oil tanker, the internet, etc. so I can become the world's first Iron man-esque superhero.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:32:00 No.7559316 Report

Quoted By: >>7559357 >>7559397 >>7559412

>>7559302
Granted you now have the ability to manipulate all machinery in the world. Sadly due to how dangerous you are the governments of the world banded together and repulsed you from the planet.

I wish for the ability to control plants. (Make them grow fast attack people, whatever and remain in the same physical state I am currently in while possessing this power.)

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:35:00 No.7559334 Report

Quoted By: >>7559411 >>7559412

I wish I could use the phone.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:36:00 No.7559339 Report

Quoted By:

>>7558534
Oh my god, you sir, are a wizard.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:36:00 No.7559340 Report

Quoted By:

You should call these threads Twilight Zone threads, because there was always an ironic twist at the end of them

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:39:00 No.7559357 Report

Quoted By: >>7559367

>>7559316
You can now control plants anytime you want to. Whenever you think of something for the plants to do, they do it, even if you don't want them to.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:41:00 No.7559367 Report

Quoted By: >>7559390

>>7559357
I am ok with this

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:42:00 No.7559370 Report

Quoted By: >>7559389 >>7559403 >>7559412

I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:44:00 No.7559389 Report

Quoted By: >>7559402

>>7559370

Granted, but Gary Oak did it first.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:44:00 No.7559390 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559367
But, even your subconscious thoughts will control the plants. So you won't even know what they are about to do. Infact, you could even get raped by a plant!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:46:00 No.7559397 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559316
You can now control plants and make them attack people. However, since plants aren't very strong, this power is useless and their stems usually break off when they attack.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:46:00 No.7559402 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559389
>implying I am not Gary Oak

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:47:00 No.7559403 Report

Quoted By: >>7559416

>>7559370

You do become the best.

Unfortunately, the greatest warriors across the land seek your head as a trophy.

Also, your name is cuntflaps mcgee. Thats what it says on your best certificate.

I wish life was more like a video game

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:48:00 No.7559411 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559334

You are now phone.

Unfortunately, you are now dead, and your daughter is dating a black man

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:48:00 No.7559412 Report

Quoted By: >>7559427

>>7559316
Now you can control pants, but for some bizarre reason, whenever you control 1 pant, another type of clothe comes to life and tryes to kill you. You must use your pants for protection.
>>7559334
I'll give u an unlimited credit cel, but you can't store any number in it and you sudenly forget any number given to you.
>>7559370
Now you are Ash Ketchum, but you have a Nemesis named Gary Oaks. Whenever you achieve something, he's already done it. Whenever you defeat someone, he already defeated him in a better way. Whenever you catch a pokemon, he already got it evolved.

I wish i can control fate.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:48:00 No.7559416 Report

Quoted By: >>7559440

>>7559403
>the greatest warriors seek my head as a trophy
But I am the very best, so I will defeat them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:50:00 No.7559427 Report

Quoted By: >>7559442

>>7559412
If I am the very best, then that means I am better than Gary Oak and I don't care if he did it first, I still did it better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:51:00 No.7559440 Report

Quoted By: >>7559457

>>7559416

but your name is cuntflaps mcgee, and you have a rophy with cuntflaps mcgee written on it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:51:00 No.7559442 Report

Quoted By: >>7559457

>>7559427
What you don't know, is that gary oaks is a part of you. So if he is a part of you, he will best you in every ways cuz he got the wish part of you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:53:00 No.7559457 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559440
But I am still the very best, so I can live with having a crappy name.
>>7559442
If Gary Oak is a part of me then that still means I am the very best, and if the "very best" part of me beats the "weaker" part of me, then I don't really care.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:53:00 No.7559458 Report

Quoted By: >>7559469 >>7559470 >>7559475

I wish the nyan nyan poptart cart is real

!AerisS/qUQ

!AerisS/qUQ Mon 02 May 2011 06:54:00 No.7559469 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559458
Wish granted, but when your friends see you eating from it they'll think you're a giant faggot and you'll be alienated.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:54:00 No.7559470 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559458
The nyan nyan poptart cat is real. Now you are forced to listen to it sing "NYAN NYAN" for an eternity.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:55:00 No.7559475 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559458
granted but he exists to destroy you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:57:00 No.7559487 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557812
>>7557812
Get someone else to toast for you. Problem sauced.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 06:59:00 No.7559504 Report

Quoted By:

>>7557812
;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:02:00 No.7559526 Report

Quoted By: >>7559549

I wish I could fly across the midnight sky while eating pie with Cthulhu's eye.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:04:00 No.7559549 Report

Quoted By: >>7559562 >>7559601

>>7559526
Granted. However, Cthulhu's eye does not make a very good utensil. Your delicious pie keeps slipping off his eye and dropping off into the abyss before it ever makes it to your mouth.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:06:00 No.7559562 Report

Quoted By: >>7559601

>>7559549
Also, I wish I had a pizza.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:11:00 No.7559601 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559549
Meh, I don't care about my pie. At least I am flying through the midnight sky.

>>7559562
You now have a pizza. It is the greatest pizza you have ever tasted. But then you wake up, and notice it was all a dream. You will never be able to enjoy any irl pizza again after tasting the epicness of a dream pizza.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:15:00 No.7559640 Report

Quoted By: >>7559663 >>7559665

you now haz pizza, but it is your mum's vag juice flavour.

I wish I could be omnipotent and make an immovable object.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:16:00 No.7559655 Report

Quoted By: >>7561830

>>7557325
i would enjoy seeing those boobies

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:17:00 No.7559663 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559640
You become omnipotent but you are the immovable object.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 07:17:00 No.7559665 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559640
You are omnipotent, but now you will never be able to move again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 09:15:00 No.7560521 Report

Quoted By:

DON'T DIE ON ME, THREAD!!!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:37:00 No.7561743 Report

Quoted By: >>7561808

I wish I could transform into anything. And I could change back to myself, with no consequences. Lastly, the process of transforming process is 100% foolproof.
Anybody who grabs the loophole I left becomes a lawyer and gets a golden manbaby.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:42:00 No.7561782 Report

Quoted By:

Bumping for interest

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:44:00 No.7561799 Report

Quoted By: >>7561808 >>7561815

The Secret Service find out about your amazing transformations, and proceed to kidnap you and keep you drugged in an underground lab running constant experiments.

I wish that I could sprout wings

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:46:00 No.7561808 Report

Quoted By: >>7561828 >>7561848

>>7561799
was a response to
>>7561743

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:46:00 No.7561815 Report

Quoted By:

>>7561799
The sprouting us so infinitely painful, you kill yourself as they just breach your skin under your toenails.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:48:00 No.7561828 Report

Quoted By: >>7561843

>>7561808
But I could just transform my way out by becoming an invisible version if me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:48:00 No.7561830 Report

Quoted By:

>>7559655
You will see the boobies, but you will never be able to enjoy any other boobs. You will search for that person until you die a sad, lonely life.

I wish that I could leave my family.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:50:00 No.7561843 Report

Quoted By: >>7561862

>>7561828
So basically that wasn't the loophole. I hope (not wish) somebody could get it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:51:00 No.7561848 Report

Quoted By: >>7561857

>>7561808
granted, however, they are hideous and way too small to be of any use.
I wish for more wishes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:53:00 No.7561857 Report

Quoted By:

>>7561848
I wrote anything. Not something small and hideous only.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 11:54:00 No.7561862 Report

Quoted By:

>>7561843
It has to do with the "change back into yourself with no consequences" part, yes?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 12:51:00 No.7562278 Report

Quoted By:

>>7562263
Congratulations, these things are immediately taken away due to the fact you are certifiably insane.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 12:54:00 No.7562305 Report

Quoted By: >>7562321 >>7562365

>>7562269

Your joly rancher has been provided to you! How ever, upon sucking on the jolly rancher your tongue twitches, slamming it into your teeth; shattering them.

I wish I could go into space and mine asteroids.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 12:57:00 No.7562321 Report

Quoted By:

>>7562305
You enter space with the equipment giving you the ability to mine asteroids but not mine them safely you die a horribly messy death.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:03:00 No.7562365 Report

Quoted By: >>7562689

>>7562305
You were only given a wooden pickaxe, so you only got one asteroid bit until it broke.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:36:00 No.7562689 Report

Quoted By: >>7562715 >>7562794

>>7562365
You wished for nothing!
As such, you will receive nothing. Yes, you will be transported to a dimension of utter nothingness. No light, no darkness, no motion, just simply nothing. On a pure blank white canvas. As you begin to go mad through the first few months, or quite possibly years, of the rest of your eternity, you will begin to notice that your body is beginning to turn into nothing. You think. Eventually you will be nothing more than a bodiless consciousness who will remember nothing but one feeling and one word. Alone.

I wish that I had a big stuffed bunny.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:39:00 No.7562715 Report

Quoted By: >>7562738 >>7562802

>>7562689
Clever, but nothing IS something, and I never wrote the words "I wish"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 21KiB, 224x324

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:42:00 No.7562738 Report

Quoted By:

>>7562715

>nothing is something

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:49:00 No.7562794 Report

Quoted By: >>7562801 >>7562856

>>7562689
congratulations on your new bunny. unfortununatly it is one you had from long ago. memories start to stir... remember the dead body of your mother when you walked into a burglary? remember picking up the pen your mother held as she wrote a check, only to be shot down moments later, running at the burglar and stabbing hem? remember when you didnt stab him? how he instead held you down? im sure you remember the rest.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:50:00 No.7562801 Report

Quoted By: >>7562856

>>7562794
btw, i wish for quiet

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:50:00 No.7562802 Report

Quoted By:

>>7562715
You did not wish for anything, therefore, you wished for nothing. Learn to equivocation.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 02 May 2011 13:58:00 No.7562856 Report

Quoted By:

>>7562801
>>7562794
I think that you are just supposed to grant the wishes in a disturbing way, not make up memories for me/assume my mother was killed by a burglar. Also, you are now death.
Now I wish that we weren't the only two people left in this thread.

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