First thread is autosaging.
Thread 2

I am a government experiment.
I am here to answer your questions.
Feel free not to believe me.
I will not tell you my location or any other incriminating details.

A few things I would like to say:
1. I am not called something like ''Experiment 342778 Alpha'' like in the movies.
2. Yes i watch movies.
3. I am not kept in isolation. I am free to walk the residential facility freely.
4. The experimentation the government performs on me has something to do with sentient crystals of alien origin. I am used as a host for the crystals to grow on. I do not know what they are used for.
5. I am used almost unrestricted internet access (some sites such as current events are hiddden from me). I am on 4Chan because I enjoy it here. I am also here because it feels nice to talk about what is going on in my life freely (as nobody believes anything I say)

Feel free to ask about anything that I have not already covered.