I guess it all started a few years ago. I was a regular on a different site, I'd go there to troll mostly. I was a little younger and much less mature then. Anyways, after I'd been visiting the site for a while I got into it with this girl and I said some pretty mean things to her. She convinced me that I had genuinely hurt her feelings. Well, I'd never meant anyone harm with my trolling. Just did it to pass the time. I didn't really have much of a life to be honest... So, I sent her a message to apologize.

After that we started sending the occasional message back and forth, and we began getting to know each other. Soon it was a message or two everyday, and then not long after we began chatting on a daily basis. I'd get back from work, go to my cramped little room, and immediately get on to see if Amanda (we'll call her Amanda) was on. I grew to really like her, and as crazy and stupid as it may sound to most people, I grew to love her.

One thing I noticed early on though, she didn't take rejection very well. Even though I would never have rejected her anyways, she often took it that I was if I couldn't talk to her for some reason. During those times she'd often lash out, chew me out, and then sign off. As our relationship grew though, so did her ability to trust and confide in me. She began telling me about her addictions. First it was minor things, not even really bad in my opinion. She'd talk about how she'd smoke pot on the weekends and get blackout drunk. Later she started talking about the pills she'd take when she was drunk. I worried a little more then, but I'd never been perfect either. I'd experimented plenty with drugs before.