Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
Is it normal to want to fuck your mom? I was put up for adoption when I was a baby, I recently met my biological mom. I want to fuck her brains out. It's awkward as hell when I'm around her not only because of how I feel but she's very pretty and she's always staring at me and smiling and touching me, the way she's always complimenting me and calling me handsome and stuff. It feels like she wants to fuck, least that's what my cock is telling me but she's my mom so that can't be possible. She's just being friendly and being nice since I'm her kid but I just want to take her and fuck her /r9k/ but I can't.
Should I see a therapist about this? How do I rid myself of these feelings? I'm going to go see her tomorrow, she invited me to spend time with her. I feel like I'll do something stupid if I keep seeing her though. This is the first time I've ever been attracted to family, my adopted mom is a pretty woman too but thinking of her like that makes me want to kill myself. I don't get it, what do I do about this?
No tard stories on /r9k/? Someone oughta do something about this.
Most of my teenage years involved tards, so I have an abundance of stories to share that I'll dump here.
>Be bros with obese, autistic tard, lets call him Eric >Eric is a true bro, I'd go to his filthy house every weekend and we'd do stupid shit >Eric's autism was so severe that he was afraid of nothing and felt zero remorse for anyone else's pain >you could say he was a psychopath, but he was a happy one >Eric was frequently bullied for being overweight, I had the honor of being at his place when he decided he had enough >He calls up one of the kids who picked on him, he sounds happy as can be and invites him over to his place >Kid agrees, arrives after 15 minutes >Kid enters house, Eric immediately slams the door and proceeds to beat the living fuck out of the kid >I mean BEAT THE LIVING FUCK out of the kid >Kid can't even get up after getting thrashed so hard >Eric grabs him by the shirt and throws him out into the lawn >Me and Eric go back to playing Gamecube, laughing our asses off at that poor motherfucker
>be drug dealer from Los Angeles (for Eurofags, LA has 600-1000 murders a year) >girlfriend is hot british girl >visit her family in London >stupid greasy children in track suits on street >they demand my wallet >laugh in their face and spit on them >they pull a knife with a rounded tip on me and i start laughing >they keep calling me a cunt but never use it
Britfags, do your criminals even try? Here in LA you'll get a .44 mag revolver pointed in your face when you're being 'robbed'
Even british criminals are candy assed faggots
This is the kind of crminals we have in Los Angeles, pic related
>be cashier >woman is in front of me, is about to buy a t-shirt >"Wait how much was it?" >20 bucks madam >"oh never mind then!!" >I have to call my boss because the register needs permission to cancel a fucking shirt >move on after a while of fuckery, now it's a jeans >"oh that's 20 bucks too? Oh never mind I don't want it" >have to do it again >"You know what? Do the t-shirt!" >my row is about 70 people long now >"Oh never mind! haha!"
Guys I'm freaking the fuck out right now. Someone is knocking on the wall of my apartment and won't stop. Like knocking hard and consistent for a few solid minutes. You might write this off as nothing but a neighbor or something but this is coming from the wall that faces the outside and my apartment is in the basement.
Is there a reason for anyone to want a girlfriend except for sex?
I mean, I don't think I'd have fun with my gf. She'd probably have different taste than mine but since we are together and I'm the male, we would have to do the things that she wants while I pay for it. I'd have so much more fun by myself or with my bros.
Honestly what purpose does a girlfriend serve apart from being a cumdumpster? You can't actually talk to them or share some feelings because you know that they'd eventually use it against you. You can't watch good movies with them because they have shit taste. You can't watch sports with them because they don't know shit about it You can't be yourself around them
So basically you spend shit loads of money to do stuff that you hate, you waste your time on stupid shit instead of doing what you want just because you get to have sex once in a while. So why don't you get a hooker, it's basically the same price and you don't have to do anything that you don't want.
TL;DR apart from the social pressure, there is no reason for you to get a girlfriend. It's all a pointless waste of time and money so stop bitching about not having a gf. Believe me its a lot better this way...
